Are you being too picky or not picky enough?
When a long – term relationship comes to an end, getting back on the dating scene will be a somewhat daunting experience for most and it is not uncommon for people to be at two extremes when looking for a date. You know that there are plenty more fish in the sea but you may find yourself too picky or not picky enough and this can often hinder your dating experience.
When newly single, being picky or not picky enough is perfectly understandable. After a nasty break up you will want to protect yourself from getting hurt in the future which can often lead to being overly picky with future partners. On the other hand, you may be feeling lonely and miss the company you used to have and therefore find yourself not being picky enough.
You should find a clear balance between the two or it could result in you not finding the happiness you long for in a relationship. It would be a good idea to find out exactly what you are picky about and what you are not picky about in order to find a well- balanced person suited to you.
To help, we have made a list of all the things we feel you should be picky about:
- Similar values, sense of humour and communication style.
- Same future plans…children, marriage etc.
- Someone who cares about you/ your emotions (this should be an obvious one!!!)
- Someone with a job or career (no one wants a lazy partner who is dependent on them!)
- You should be attracted to your partner, someone you should enjoy looking at.
Another way to look at this is to look at the attributes you find attractive. They could be things that refelct you and therefore feel comfortable, or they could be things you feel you want for yourself, things you lack, and be desirable.
A former girlfriend was attracted to my romantic side, but later discovered it wasn’t “her.” Yes, “former” girlfriend.
I was infatuated with a woman who was very outgoing. However, later, I realized I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
So, discovering new love is a wonderful, heady feeling, but decide for yourself if you think it will be sustainable.