Let’s call it what it is.
Dating is expensive!
Besides the cost of making yourself look less sasquatchey (pretty sure we’ve financed our beautician’s third salon) and more like the Snapchat Goddess that you are, you have the cost of the date itself – movies, dinners etc., all of which quickly deplete your fun budget. And yes, we always go Dutch!
So before you go and sign up to discount days on various voucher websites check out our date ideas that don’t suck (budget or balls):
Most big cities have places where you can hire a tandem bike and which are really affordable (around £40 for the whole day). It’s also also a right hoot and you get to explore your city (and your date’s bottom) more closely. Remember to take a picnic with you to refuel (*wink *wink) at the next park.
Pop-up Wine Bar
Vinery London is hosting another pop-up wine bar this Saturday. Just rock up and sample some delicious wines and pay what you think the night was worth (and based on how much you’ve guzzled away).
Volunteering together may not be the first thing that pops into your head when you think ‘hot date’ but it can be a really fun and rewarding experience. Head on over to http://www.do-it.org for some ideas and let’s not forget the mayjaaah karma points you score. Who knows, this could be your thing as a couple.
Just have pudding
A girl’s gotta eat, right? So next time you head on to a restaurant, why not ditch the starter and main course and just have one (or four) different desserts to share with your date instead? It will be cheaper and let’s face it, you will have the pudding anyway so you might as well have the brownie, lemon tart and creme brûlée at the same time.
Go to a festival
What’s better than to dance the night away with bae at a festival? Dancing the night away at a free festival of course. Check out this handy guide to find one in your area.
Do you have any other wallet-friendly date ideas you want to share with a fellow dater? Share them in the comments below!
Hey meat lovers, it’s #Nationalvegetarianweek so let’s talk about why it’s ok to date a vegetarian.
Many members of the carnivorous persuasion are often put off by the idea of dating someone who doesn’t’ share our love for all things burger, steak and sausage. I mean, it is delicious, right? Anyhoo, let’s look at why dating a veggie may actually be a good idea:
They won’t bite
Pun intended. Believe it or not most vegetarians aren’t out there to recruit you to their way of life like some crazed cult follower. Oftentimes they worry if being veggie may be a problem for you. Seldom are your carnivorous ways a deal breaker for them. Vegetarianism is a personal choice so you won’t have to worry you may have to gnaw your chicken drumsticks in secret.
Your culinary world will open up
Veggies are foodies too and they don’t like to eat boring stuff, so finding restaurants that offer delicious veggie options that go beyond the cheesy pasta dishes or salads can be an exciting adventure, which is sure to open your world to new and exciting dishes.
You won’t have to share your fave food
If you are like me, you don’t particularly like to share your food. Sorry, it’s nothing personal, but you order yours and I’ll have mine, thank you very much. So, hands off my sticky BBQ ribs!
Lastly, when dating a veggie you may inadvertently start to eat healthier without even trying. More veggies = longer life. What’s not to love?
Are you a vegetarian? What advice would you give Meat Lovers? Sound off in the comments below.
So you’ve been on more than one date and you seem to have instant chemistry. You’ve been texting for a few days since your last date, and then, POOF! Your match has vanished into thin air.
Welcome to the murky world of ghosting.
Ghosting is a term that is becoming more and more frequently heard in the dating circles and so in our latest blog we thought we’d do a little research and find out just how people feel when they’ve been ‘ghosted’ by a date.
After quizzing some friends and asking around on social media these are the statements that came out:-
- Makes you feel worthless
- Makes you feel confused
- Leads to you mistrusting other potential dates
- Leads to a ‘why do I bother’ mentality
- You feel disrespected
- Feeds insecurities
Let’s face it none of those feelings and reactions are positive and dating should be positive, it should be adventure, an opportunity to meet new people, try new things, have new experiences and make lots of memories.
Ghosting sucks, and this article about a girl who was ghosted by a guy she’d been seeing exclusively for six months (!) shows that it’s not just the early day’s relationships that fall prey to this cowardly technique.
So what can you do if this happens to you in the world of online dating?
- Take a positive attitude – it is not you with the problem. If someone ghosts you it is highly likely they have done it before. A leopard cannot change its spots remember!
- Don’t be tempted to keep messaging for an answer as to why – you won’t get one, and if you do it will be lies, it would see a classic excuse is for the ghoster to say that someone close to them has died and their life has spiralled out of control.
- Don’t change who you are – remember you shouldn’t change just to fit into someone else’s lifestyle. If they cannot handle all of your AWESOMENESS then they are not worth your time and effort.
- Don’t give up – get back online and start making new connections. Relationships don’t just happen they take effort. So be dynamic and start something. Just don’t desperation date (more on this later!)
- Always and most important – remember YOU DIDN’T MESS ANYTHING UP.
Breaking up with someone is never easy to do, but ghosting is really cowardly and more brutal than actually being honest with someone. Focus on yourself, going out with friends and ultimately holding your own and remembering your manners when everyone around you forgets theirs.
Has ghosting happened to you? How did you cope with it and what tips have you got for others in case in happens to them.
We’re all looking for ‘the one’, the ‘perfect partner’, the one who always makes us smile and sometimes when you’re dating it is really easy to lose sight of the simple things that make you unique and what you’re looking for in an ideal partner.
When you start dating you quickly realise that there are timewasters, those who will mess with your head and heart and lead a double life, fly by nights, and those with more drama than a soap opera, but there are also emotionally healthy people who really do want something lasting.
The problem is that we disillusion ourselves into what makes the perfect Mr or Miss Right, and the illusion of enhanced perfection is all too readily purported.
Many of my female friends have delusions about finding a Tom Hardy or Ryan Reynolds lookalike in their local and will instantly discount any man that attempts to chat them up who doesn’t fit this bill. Equally, most of my male friends admit that its looks they go for, several of them were more open minded and admitted it would be the way a woman dresses, the way she carries herself and even how much makeup she’s wearing that would determine if they asked her for a date.
Some of them even admitted that for the average Joe it is intimidating at the best of times for them to approach a woman but even more so when she’s dressed up like a cast member from Real Housewives of Cheshire. Why….because they can’t see who the real person is.
Why….because they can’t workout who the ‘real’ person is that they’re looking or talking to.
This week on First Dates Hotel there was the most adorable guy in Eddie the electrician. He was a real man’s man and got matched with a beautiful girl. Despite his nervousness his personality shone through. He made witty jokes, he paid compliments, he was a gentleman, for me he would have been the perfect date. He told an emotional story and opened up to his date – a brave thing for guys to do. However, his date for the night felt the need to make him feel uncomfortable by making reference to his nerves, she led him on with flirting, swam in her bikini in front of him and then benched him to the friendzone. Ouch.
I take my hat off to Eddie – he admitted that the girl was ‘out of his league’ but that he’d love to date her and see her again. He told her so and although his being honest and open didn’t work for him it was his natural persona that made him so endearing to the viewers.
Hang in there Eddie.
Don’t get me wrong it is natural to put on a different persona when you go out on a date, to behave a little differently to when you’re at home. You’re nervous. There is anticipation. You’ve probably been chatting online for weeks and have heightened expectations of what you want from each other. There’s the hope that you really want this to be ‘the one’.
On dates you’ll give typical responses during the evening such as ‘it was nice to meet you’ or ‘thanks for a nice night’. You do this because you put up a wall that says ‘be cool, be casual’ that way you won’t get hurt.
STOP….if you had a really nice time and there was laughter and eye contact and flirting and the awkward moments didn’t last long ask to see that person again! Be brave, take a chance – if you really want to find someone that’s what you have to do. Lay yourself bare (not literally as that would be strange and weird) and throw caution to the wind. Sometimes a connection doesn’t happen on the first date.
If you don’t be brave your date will just think you’re not interested and both of you will fade into the night, opportunity missed.
Also, don’t put all your eggs in one basket when you start dating. You might meet some great dates over the course of a few weeks, be open to going on multiple dates but be upfront if they ask if you’re dating anyone else. Don’t think dating is now your life….it isn’t. Organise nights out with friends, if you’re on your own at home enjoy the time to yourself and do things for you.
The saving grace about internet dating is that it’s a sea full of fish and there are a lot of fish to catch. Always though be clear to yourself and your date about who you are and what you are looking for. Compatibility isn’t about being two people being the same it’s about two people just finding one thing that gives them a connection.
It could take one date or fifty to find that connection but the more honest you are to yourself and your date the less exasperating the whole experience will be.
You’ve uploaded your photos, you’ve written a great online profile and your thumbs ache from swiping through potential matches. You’re in the thick of online dating and have a couple of matches that you want to reach out to and get to know better. Just where do you start?
The thing is you want to come up with a witty opener, something other than the usual ‘Hi, how are you?’. You could be predictable and ask them something based on their profile…OR you could use the brain between your ears and take a personal approach. This is exactly what one guy did and it netted him a 100% success rate with the ladies. Joe Bagel decided to create poetic masterpieces based on the initials of his prospective matches name. His excellent wordsmith skills certainly got him noticed by the ladies, and you can read the full article here.
With so many singletons now using online dating sites to find their perfect match your potential match may well have been inundated with inbox requests and your opening flirtation needs to hit the mark.
Getting your online match to message your back
Remember the phrase ‘quality over quantity’ – never has it been truer than when sending messages to potential dates. Rather than adopting the idea of cast the net wide go exclusive and only message a select number of matches. For the guys reading this, trust me many women can spot a rehashed message a mile off. We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them. If you spend a little more time creating a unique message, you’ll probably find it’s much more productive. For example, why not try an ice breaker question ‘What are your top five movies?’, nearly everyone loves a good movie and this will see what common ground you have.
Don’t bombard your matches. If you send a message and they take a while to answer back. Don’t sweat it. People are busy and lead a life outside of their dating app and it may just well be there is other stuff they need to attend to. It is easy to think the worst but keep your cool. Don’t keep sending messages and (unless you’ve written something really offensive) you don’t need to message them to apologise for getting in touch.
Get to the point. Once you’ve hit up a conversation and the messages are flowing ask your match if they’d be happy to take the conversation either to a phone call or a coffee. There is no point in stringing it out. Whether you’re a guy or a girl be bold and make the first move and ask the other one out so you can actually have a more in-depth conversation and get off your phones and talk face to face.
Don’t be lazy. Whilst it may be tempting to use phrases and acronyms during your conversation good spelling and grammar goes a long way in making the right impression. Intelligent people are generally looking for someone on their level and the overuse of emojis (no matter how cute the unicorn one is) smacks of immaturity and the fact you’ve had one too many cans of Red Bull for the day.
Keep it lighthearted. Online messaging apps are for light-hearted chat and banter. Keep the serious stuff about exclusivity and your hopes for the relationship for if/when you meet – that way you can gauge accurately your date’s response.
These are just some of the tips you can put into practice to help make messaging your online matches a success, which ultimately is a HUGE confidence boost for anyone doing online dating.
So go forth and get your creative hat on and start chatting. If you have any personal stories or mistakes to add to the list, we’d love to hear about them in the comments!
It seems our silver daters are having lots of success at the moment over in our Silver Pond. We were really pleased to get an email from one of our members Debbie telling us she’s found love with a fellow member.
“Hi there, My name is Debbie Baker-Smith and I have found love through the website, Plenty More Fish Silver Pond.
The new man in my life is Kevin Looms. Kevin was someone that I chatted with online very quickly after joining the website.
His photo was attractive and the answers he gave in his profile questions intrigued me. We then swapped phone numbers and had a very long telephone conversation.
Then we plucked up courage and met, we have been out several times now and are an official couple. It all began with the website. Here are 2 photos of us together.
Congratulations, to Debbie & Kevin who were matched together in our Silver Pond which specialises in dating for over 40’s. We always love to hear from our members when they’ve found that special someone online, so if you’ve had success using Plenty More Fish tweet us @plentymorefish.
The mantra of ‘new year, new you’ and all that is well and truly in the front of everyone’s minds as we head back to work this week following the Christmas break. One look at your Facebook feed and there is a plethora of ‘resolution’ themed memes promising good intentions.
So many of us set ourselves targets for January, and those of us looking for love are no different – and according to research the 3rd January is THE busiest day of the year for online dating websites and apps. As us lust longing Brits head back to work, research has shown that dating sites are expecting a 37 percent hike in activity as millions log on hoping to find new romances for 2017.
Whilst some of us may be entering 2017 newly single after relationships ran their course and ended up single before the holidays. Others may well have hung in there until New Year’s and realised they were in a relationship that wouldn’t go the distance. Then there are some singles who have made the decision after having another holiday alone that they’ll have a go at dating in an attempt to find their soul mate.
Whatever situation you find yourself in at the start of 2017 you’ll have plenty of choice to browse through as millions of new profiles hit the online dating websites, and with the average user trawling around 43 profiles when they log on it wouldn’t go amiss to set yourself a bit of a strategy to catch the eye of Mr or Miss Right. So here are our top tips for standing out in the busy dating pond this January:-
- Get a great photo – honestly, one showing you surrounded by your mates drinking and partying hard may seem like a good idea but remember you want someone to notice you not the social scene you’re into, or worse even fancy one of your mates! Remember the adage ‘a picture paints a thousand words’? Why not consider investing in someone to help you take a great profile photo so that you really stand out.
- Challenge the stereotypes – ladies who says men have to make the first move? Be proactive and not reactive and if you see a guy you like strike up a conversation. Pose a series of interesting first date questions that allow the two of you to see if there is common ground before moving to the next stage.
- Be engaged – many of today’s dating sites have a whole host of extra features that you can access as part of their membership structure. Opting to pay for a level of membership with access to these features can work in your favour as generally people who shell out for online dating subscriptions are serious about finding a relationship. You” have the chance to send more messages, get read receipts and send more photos allowing you make those matches quicker.
Whatever your relationships goals for 2017 the first part of it is dipping your toe into the water and seeing what happens. With more of us than ever using dating websites as a way to meet new people around the UK, January is the perfect time to try with so many other singletons also out there with the same agenda.
Looking for love in 2017? We’d love to know what you look for or avoid in an online dating profile.