Making a good first impression
You’ve hit the jackpot. You’ve only gone and got yourself a date with your favourite match. So, what’s next? You want to make a good impression, but you’re worried about how you may come across. Will you meet their expectations? We’ve put together a list of tips to give you the biggest advantage before heading out on your first date.
Wear something bright
It’s been said that wearing bright colours gives off a sense of confidence and research shows that a man’s impression of their date is likely to be affected by the colours they wear. You don’t have to be pulling off a bright orange outfit, pastel colours can help give off the same vibes.
Plan your route
Look up where you’re going before the date. This will be super helpful in making sure that even if you are in a rush, you’re not panicking about which left to take next. You want to be relaxed at the start of your date, not flustered. So, give yourself the head start, Google Maps will be your best friend.
Avoid your Ex
This means all conversation involving your ex. If you’re praising up your ex, then your date will wonder why you’re not together, but the same thing goes for if you’re being negative about them. They’ll wonder why you’re still hung up on them and they’ll be unsure as to whether you’re ready for a relationship. The best way of dealing with the conversation if it comes up is to shrug it off and just mention simply that it didn’t work out.
Compliment them
There’s no better feeling than receiving a compliment, it gives us confidence. They don’t have to be the typical ‘you look nice’ comments, although they are great to hear. But if they chose the venue or date activity then compliment their wise choice and tell them you’re enjoying yourself. If you’re not having a great time, then focus on something you do like and if there’s still a chance for a second date, then offer to take on the date planning next time.
Don’t interview your date
There’s no worse feeling than being vetted by your date. So, remember to ask them questions about themselves and listen to what they have to say, but remember that it’s not an interrogation. Show genuine interest in what they have to say. And remember, you are allowed to share too!
Be kind to your waiter
If you’re planning on visiting a restaurant, please be conscious how you treat the staff who are waiting on you. If you’re kind to your date, but not so much to the staff or other people around you, it can make you look like you’re not a very nice person. Which you aren’t really, be nice to service staff – their job is hard!
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How to not lose yourself in your new relationship
A new relationship is exciting and it’s so easy to get wrapped up in your little bubble of love you and your partner have created. Whilst this is lovely and the feeling of contentment washes over you over time some people struggle with losing their sense of self. Most of the time, it’s innocent and we don’t even realise that it’s happening to us. So, what does losing yourself look like?
You probably aren’t changing into an entirely different person (although this can happen), losing yourself is more subtle than that. It’s the small things that were once so important to you that you couldn’t live without, like doing the pub quiz with your best friends, that you no longer care about doing. Or you suddenly put your personal or career goals aside in favour of your other half’s. Those small details are what make up your identity, which set you apart from others and which made your partner fall for you in the first place.
If you’ve noticed creeping into your relationship, then you have a few things you need to figure out. Boundaries and balance are vital in a healthy relationship. A true partnership is the sum of two halves, having your own identity and life outside your relationship will ultimately make you more attractive and a happier human being.
Learning to say no when your partner dominates every decision or demands your complete attention and devotion, will prevent you from losing yourself. By taking a respectful stand against a decision your partner has made or simply saying no to doing something you don’t want to do sets healthy boundaries.
So how do you not lose yourself in a relationship?
See loved ones regularly on your own
Immersing your partner into your social circle and introducing them to the important people in your life is an exciting time, but make sure that you’re still having time on your own with them too. These people are important in keeping you in touch with yourself.
Stop replacing ‘I’ with ‘We’
Whilst becoming a ‘we’ in a new relationship seems tempting for every scenario, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy relationship terrain by doing so. You need to remind yourself you are your own person, so stop saying ‘we’ when you really mean I.
Don’t compromise on the things that make you
It’s okay to compromise on what you’re having for dinner tonight, or what film you’re going to watch on date night. But don’t compromise on the things that make you, well, you. These could be career development opportunities, going to see family/friends, time you spend at gym or yoga, the list is endless.
Maintain your interests
Remember it was your individuality that bagged you your partner in the first place, so maintain those interests you’re passionate about. It’s not just about what you do, it’s who you do it with which is also important. If you and your friends have a monthly quiz session down your local pub, don’t replace them and go with your partner instead. Remember that you both should be supportive of the things which are important to each other prior to even knowing each other. Make sure you continue having ‘me’ time, as it is those things that make you a more interesting and rounded person.
Learn to embrace healthy conflict
Get better at having healthy disagreements. It doesn’t mean you have to be harsh or mean about it, or intentionally start arguments or disagree for the fun of it. But if you have a differing view, then it’s important to speak up about it. Not only will this help build the relationship it also teaches you how to not people-please and develop the courage to stand up and respectfully voice your opinion. There should never be issues about what is said in the relationship, it’s only the way things are said. So, be careful with your tone and make sure you also take the time to listen to your partner.
If you’re looking for love, head over to Plentymorefish. Find fellow singles who are ready for healthy commitment.
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