A ‘normal’ sex drive looks different for everyone. There are many different factors which work together that can cause a lower sex drive in some compared to others. Low libido is more common than many realise, and everyone can experience it at some. For those who enjoy sex, it can be frustrating when what once was an active sex life becomes a dull affair. We understand the frustration, so we’ve done a bit of research to find simple ways that could boost your sex drive to help you get your mojo back.
Find a way to connect to your body
Sex is just one way of connecting yourself to your body but there are many other ways you could do this. Go out and find opportunities that bring pleasure into your life. This could be anything from dancing to practicing yoga, to taking yourself out on a date. The key is bringing back the confidence and the joy, which you can then bring home to your partner. When you’re in a joyful state your mind is more open to ideas, and you may even find yourself open to new sexual experiences.
Whilst you may think scheduled sex is not sexy, it is the best way to ensure that you’re prioritising pleasure. Think of the anticipation of what you’ll see, the excitement of maybe a different location, this can all build up to allow for a better experience. It also gives you time to prepare and get in the mood, whether that’s having a hot bath with candles, reading erotica, or simply putting on a new set of sexy lingerie.
Introduce your toys
If you know that your toys will help to give you the pleasure you desire, then introduce them into the bedroom as well. There’s no shame in adding them to help get you in the mood. Physical arousal can help create the sensation that we get before we want to take our clothes off. You could even get your partner involved by letting them take control of the toy or letting them watch you.
Pump up your pelvic floor
There could be many reasons why your sex drive is low, it could be hormonal shifts, stress or even childbirth. There are many women who struggle with a weakened pelvic floor at some point in their life and this can lead to a decreased feeling of arousal. Trying pelvic floor exercises can strengthen the muscles, giving you more control over your body and can also give you stronger orgasms. Check out the blog post written by Denise Brodey, she gives you numerous exercises you can use to pump up your sex drive.
Lay off the alcohol
You may think after a few cocktails your sex drive has skyrocketed and you just can’t keep your hands off your partner, and whilst this may be true, the days to follow may prove difficult to get yourself in the mood and alcohol has been proven to suppress sex drive. It’s also been said that alcohol reduces satisfaction and makes it more challenging to perform in the bedroom. So, if you want those mind-blowing orgasms, it’s probably best to stay off the margaritas.
There are many different reasons why you can have a low libido, it’s important to remember that it’s completely normal and everyone experiences it at some point. So, next time you’re getting frustrated because you just can’t get in the mood, try one of these methods and see if it works for you.
Are you ready to find a sexy single to get naughty in the sheets with? Head over to the Naughty Pond and get searching.
We see successful relationships with big age gaps all the time; Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, the list goes on. But we’re told to stick to people our own age, it’s easier, that way you’re on the same page. But is that necessarily true? If you’re dating an older guy (or wondering whether you should), take a look at our list of things to expect.
1. He may have a lot more – or a lot less – time for you
He may have a more flexible work schedule which means more free time for you, which is a bonus because it means more date nights. However, you could have different ideas of how you want to spend time together. He may have had enough of dinner dates and cocktails at bars and prefer to do romantic getaways and go on long walks with nice views, whereas you’d take a margarita over a walk any day.
On the other hand, he could be in an executive position after years in a company and as a result could work late nights which means date nights often don’t happen, or dinner dates get cancelled.
2. Your emotional maturity may not be what you expected
He’s been around longer than you, which typically means that he may be emotionally more mature than you. Whilst this isn’t always true, it could be an issue that could arise. It’s important that you take the time out to ensure you both have the same emotional maturity, or later down the line the lack of understanding or compassion can cause issues within the relationship.
An older man might be super direct and feel comfortable in expressing what’s on his mind. So, it might mean you require to become more vulnerable and let down guards you may typically put up when dating.
3. There may be an ex-wife and/or children
If there’s a bigger age gap between you, then it’s likely that they’ve had a couple of past committed relationships. If he has been through a marriage that hasn’t worked out, then it’s likely that he’ll bring more care and wisdom to the table this time around.
If he has kids this is something else to consider. A serious conversation would be helpful in looking at where you stand, integrating into another family can be difficult and put a strain on your relationship. Depending on the situation in the past, it can prove challenges.
4. Your life could be heading in a different direction
If you’re considering spending the future with your older man, then talking about the next 10-20 years will be extremely important. If you’re dating someone your own age, you wouldn’t want to assume that you’re on the same page and want the same things, and this becomes more apparent when there’s an age gap. Maybe you want to get married and have kids, but he’s been there and got the t-shirt for marriage and kids and doesn’t want to go down that path again.
It’s essential to understand what you both want and to listen. You also shouldn’t expect for someone’s wants and needs to change later because of the duration of the relationship. But just because someone’s been there and done it, doesn’t mean they won’t want to do them again. This is where communication is key. Ask them whether they’d consider it and talk about your options.
5. Your sex drives may not match up
Oftentimes, one person in a relationship has a higher sex drive than the other. This can become more apparent when there is a bigger age gap. An older man may have a different sex drive, he may have less energy. Or it could even be the other way round, maybe he feels excited when he’s with you and he has more energy and as a result his sex drive changes. You can’t predict these things, but what we can say is that sex drive can become an issue. Again, communication is key and discussing sex openly and whether both your needs are being met.
6. You may have to learn each other’s communication styles
Older men are more likely to have been in committed relationships that have broken down, so many are keen to get it right this time.
Day-to-day contact may be important, particularly if they’re from a whole different technological era. For people now, it’s common to send a text throughout the day checking in, but for those of the older generation, that may not be familiar to them, and they may prefer a phone call at lunch. These things will need to be discussed to avoid misunderstandings.
Whilst all these things may not apply to your age gap relationship, there are one or two that could crop up as issues and which will need discussing. Ultimately, age is just a number. What matters is that you get on and love each other.
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Sexual fantasies should be seen to express your unconscious needs or desires that you can’t control, like dreams in that respect. Talking about your sexual fantasies can be a daunting prospect for someone who thinks that they are a taboo topic. Thinking about certain sexual situations does not mean that you want them to happen, they can stay in your mind. But sharing them with another person can be daunting.
Think about why you want to share your fantasy
What do you want to achieve when telling your partner about your fantasy? Do you want them to know you on a deeper level? Maybe, you want to explore your sex life a bit more or do you want to figure out what turns you on about the fantasy? Talking about these things can be enlightening and can help your partner get to know you on an intimate level and could even liven up the bedroom.
Remember that you’re not weird for having fantasies
Fantasies are a natural part of being a sexual person. We should remember that they aren’t gross or creepy. The fantasies you have do not inherently represent you as person, regardless of what they are.
Ask the question
If you’re one to get shy about your fantasies, then relay the question to your partner. It’s best to ask them whilst you’re getting busy in the bedroom, it’s a great way to kick start the fantasy chat. Whilst you’re talking to your partner you could even suggest incorporating part of your fantasy into the bedroom, then it’s a win-win.
Play a game
You could suggest playing a game, taking it in turns to describe a fantasy of yours. A fun way of doing this is by writing out 3-5 fantasies or aspects of a fantasy (whether that’s an object or location), put them in a jar and then take it in turns to pull them out and each describe them. If they’re a turn on for both of you, then maybe you could try it out next time in the bedroom.
The wonders of phones are that now you don’t even have to be facing someone to have a conversation with them, which is why it might be so much easier to talk about your sexual fantasies over text. This can help create a comfortable space which is secretive and exciting for you both.
If you’re feeling like indulging into your own fantasies, head over to the Naughty Pond, to find other fellow singles to heat up the bedroom.
There may come a time in a relationship where you question whether carrying on with the relationship is the best thing to do. You may have a gut feeling something isn’t working or maybe you’re going through a rough patch where you and your partner are arguing more frequently. You may find yourself wondering whether you should stay in the relationship or move on, protecting yourself. Here are some tell-tale signs that the relationship may be coming to an end:
You’re doubting everything
It’s normal to be worrying about whether your relationship is going to work when you’re going through a rough patch. But if something is niggling at you, and you keep thinking that this person is the wrong person, you should not ignore it. Generally, listen to your instinct if it’s telling you something isn’t right.
You have a feeling you won’t regret making the decision
You may get a feeling of relief when initially ending a relationship, whether that’s because you don’t have to put up with their old habits anymore or because you get your freedom back. But it’s not that moment of time you want to think about when you’re considering breaking up. You want to think about the months to come. Are you going to start missing them again? Will you be texting them asking to take you back now you’ve had your bit of freedom? Or will you still be relieved that you’re not stuck in that relationship? You need to be honest with yourself at this point and you know whether you’re trying to convince yourself that you won’t regret it. But if you genuinely feel that way, it may be time to call it quits.
Life prospects and values start to become an issue
When you first started dating, you both had the same life goals. You wanted to have kids or travel to Australia to sky dive over the beach or maybe you both just wanted to start your own business or had similar career prospects. As a relationship blossoms, sometimes we find ourselves on different pages and for some this may become an issue. Some things are less significant and can be resolve with communication. But when perspective on lives change and what each person wants from them, this is where issues can form. Same goes for values, if you and your partner differ on a major value – maybe generosity – it can cause conflict.
You’re convincing yourself to stay
When you’re in denial about an ending relationship, you may try to ignore any negatives you feel towards your partner or ignore the fact you’re always arguing when you’re together. You ignore these things because you don’t want to acknowledge the truth, maybe it’s out of fear of the relationship ending or you don’t want to be on your own. When you’re noticing yourself going against your instincts, it may a sign that this relationship won’t last.
You’re not feeling good about yourself
Insecurities are normal, everybody has them in some way. But if you’re finding that, when you’re around your partner you have little to no self-confidence ,,then this a red flag in a relationship. Being around the right partner is meant to make you feel good about yourself. You want someone that celebrates the amazing things about you, not find ways of ruining your self-confidence.
Making the decision to end a relationship is something that requires honesty with yourself and your partner. Communication should always be the top priority, so make sure you and your partner know where you both stand.
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Picture this, you’ve got yourself a hot date, you’re about to take it to the next level and you’re readying for a mind-blowing experience because there is most definitely a connection between you both. Only for you to get into the bedroom and be a tad disappointed that it hasn’t quite lived up to your expectations. But it’s not all doom and gloom. We’ve put together a few tips and tricks you could use to encourage a more positive experience in the bedroom.
Don’t fake it
You need to ask yourself why you’re faking it in the first place. Are you trying to get it over with so you can get out of there fast? Or are you trying to pet your date’s ego a little? The simple tip for faking it is don’t. It’s an opportunity to let your date know what turns you on in the bedroom, which is particularly important if it’s the first time you’re both taking it to the next level. If you’re not sure what you like, then you should take the time out to find out. Spend a little bit more time getting to know your body.
Give them feedback
Communication in the bedroom is key. You don’t have to give them an instruction manual, but the small comments like “to the left” or “a little lower” can massively help. Again, this is a part of getting to know your sexual partner and being expressive about what you like/dislike. If you don’t feel quite confident enough to say anything yet, then you can adjust their body yourself. Remember to phrase any comments kindly and keep it sexy by whispering it in their ear.
Try new things
It can be daunting trying new things with a new sexual partner, but it could be a great way of testing the chemistry and finding out a little more about your date’s fantasies and turn-on’s. The more open you are as a pair the more rewarding the experience will be. You don’t have to go crazy, but simply trying a new position out or introducing your sex toy could change things up in the bedroom. It might be a good idea to even mention something you’ve been intrigued to try, which could be a great way of gauging your partner’s interests and what they feel comfortable doing.
Talk about it afterwards
Instead of making a beeline for the door, stay and chat about the experience. It doesn’t need to be a serious “we need to talk” chat but more of a relaxed conversation, starting on a positive note about something they did. You may feel awkward at first, but it will certainly help if you want to give it another go or even in building your confidence to express your opinions in the bedroom. You want to suggest rather than critique, that way they’ll be more open to change and adjusting their techniques.
Bad sex doesn’t always mean zero sexual compatibility. Sometimes, a little guidance and communication can be all you need to turn it around.
If you want to find some sexy singles ready for some fun, head over to the naughty pond.
We’ve all been there, on a first date, nervous and we fumble on our words or say something we go over in our heads for the rest of the night. Most of the time, we’re thinking too much into it and by the end of the date it’s already forgotten, but there are some questions you shouldn’t ask on a first date, that are a no-go. We’ve made a list of questions you should avoid on a first date.
1. Why are you still single?
As innocent as this question may sound, it may not always be taken the right way. Even if it’s made in an attempt of flattery. It suggests that there is something wrong with being single and could even suggest that there is something wrong with your date. Not everyone’s ideal goal is to be in a relationship, so try to avoid this question if you’re trying to impress your date.
2. How many people have you slept with?
Regardless of if it’s date number one, or date 43. The number of sexual partners you have is quite frankly no-one’s business. If you want to discuss your own past then you can if you feel happy to share, but others may feel uncomfortable, and some may even try to put their guard back up if they feel that you’re being too intrusive. It’s best to avoid asking anything sexual on the first date, it gives off the wrong impression if your goal is to find a long-term relationship.
3. How much money do you make?
Careers are a normal topic of conversation for a first date, but your date’s income is a topic to be avoided. Even if you’re just being curious, by asking this question your date could get the wrong idea about your priorities in a relationship. Your date wants to know you’re attracted to them, not the size of their wallet.
4. Where do you see this relationship going?
Although it’s nice to hear that your date sees things going further, it’s usually good to steer away from this question – you’ll be coming across as clingy and way to keen. It is only the first date. You’ve barely scratched the surface in getting to know your date, try to get to know them first.
5. Are you attracted to me?
You might think this a harmless question, you’re just intrigued to see if they’re as attracted as you are. But again, it gives off the wrong impression. Your date can get the idea that you’re shallow and care about looks and attraction more than what’s beneath the surface. It can also make your date feel uncomfortable, particularly if they’re unsure if they are attracted to you at that point, it may take some people longer than others.
Essentially try to avoid talking about money, serious commitment, or anything sexual, you don’t want to scare your date off at the first hurdle or give off the wrong impression. Sign up to Pentymorefish.com to find likeminded singles.
If you’re curious about sex toys and how they increase your satisfaction in the bedroom, then read on we’re about to introduce you to some of the best sex toys for beginners and how to take your experience to new heights. It may be that you (and your partner) have reached a stale point in your sex life, or maybe you’re just curious in how you can intensify your experience.
Buying your first sex toy can be daunting, there are such a wide variety of toys out there and for a beginner knowing where to start can be a challenge. The most important thing to consider when buying your sex toy is that you want to feel comfortable when using it, so don’t add it to your basket if it looks intimidating to use. It’s recommended by sex therapist Ian Kerner, to look for a sex toy which provides clitoral stimulation, as it’s easier for most women to reach an orgasm this way.
So, let’s talk about the different types of sex toys that are out there. We’ll start with what they call a magic wand style vibrator. It’s a classic style with a wide variety of versions of it on the web. This is a great toy to use if you’re wanting to explore different speeds and areas to use it on. It’s also a great way to get your partner involved in the bedroom, maybe you want to try something different. Well, this allows you to spark a conversation on what feels good and what doesn’t hit the (G)spot.
Rabbit style is the next one up. This sex toy is great if you’re feeling a little greedy and you want the best of both worlds both clitoral stimulation and penetration. It is designed to give more intense sensations than a solo dildo or vibrator. Like anything, it’s probably best to spend a little bit more to get the better-quality sex toys.
Vibrating Eggs otherwise known as Bullets are fun pocket-sized vibrators and are easy to hide if you’re wanting to be discreet about your sex toys. Alternatively, they’re great to travel with as you can hide them sneakily in your case without worrying someone will pull a pair of shorts out your bag and your toys come with it. They’re a great toy to use if you want to learn more about precise stimulation and knowing exactly where you get the most enjoyment.
To finish, we’ll end with a basic. The Dildo. Most people will have already heard and have a perception of a dildo, so it won’t take a lot of explanation. But this sex toy is great for those of you who enjoy penetration more than clitoral stimulation. They’re slightly curved purposely to stimulate the G-spot and they can be made from lots of different materials like silicone, rubber, plastic etc. so you can figure out which you feel most comfortable using.
There are lots of other different sex toys out there, far too many to sit here and list but those are the basics for anyone who is curious in increasing their toy collection. Remember that this is a great way to explore more of what is pleasurable for you, so only do what makes you feel comfortable.
You can gain a newfound self-confidence by finding out more about yourself, so get out there and give it a go if you’re intrigued. You could even head over to our Naughty Pond, where you’ll find fellow singles to join the fun.
Turn offs are a typical question we get asked when we start dating someone, but the trouble is for some it’s difficult to answer until they experience something that gives them ‘the ick’. Sometimes things happen that makes our nose scrunch or just send a signal to our body which makes us want to run. Here’s a list of some turn offs that we can think of.
Have you ever been out on a date with someone who is rude to the waiter or bartender? There’s something about the lack of manners that screams red flag to me and makes me want to run out of the first door I see. Someone who tries to belittle another in an attempt to make someone else laugh. It does not play out in your favour and it’s just embarrassing for your date.
Lack of ambition.
At the start of dating, women want to be wrapped up in deep conversation to connect on an intellectual level. They want to hear about your passions and ambitions, and where you want to go in life. You’re dating to look for a partner, someone to grow with and celebrate your successes with.
A few as a joke is fine, but if you’re using pick-up lines proudly, I’ve got to tell you they will not work and more than likely will cringe out your date. Not what you want, is it? She will roll her eyes and ultimately find you a bit cringey.
Insulting your exes.
No, we don’t want to hear about your ex and how great the relationship was and how you’re so sad it’s over. But we also don’t want to hear how every ex you’ve been with is crazy; there’s a common denominator in that equation and it most certainly is not the women you’re dating.
Putting all women in the same box.
There’s nothing worse than someone being surprised because you’re not like the conceptual idea of a woman they have in their head. Men who don’t see women as individual’s and put every woman in the same box can be a serious turn off.
Eyeing up another woman.
Trust me when I tell you women see EVERYTHING. So, that woman that just walked past that you were giving the side eyes to? Yes, we saw that. We get it, you’re single and free and you can do as you please, but when on a date with a woman, she wants to feel special. Eyeing up every woman that walks into the restaurant makes her feel like she’s already in competition for your attention which is not the way a relationship should start.
Talking about yourself.
If the topic of conversation always resorts back to you and your date can’t get a word in edgeways, then I wouldn’t bet on a second date. A conversation works two ways and if it appears to be one person talking and another listening the whole time, then it can become frustrating.
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Foreplay a.k.a the build-up to sex is just as important as the main event itself. Remember that foreplay doesn’t follow a plan, it’s all about going with the flow meaning that it doesn’t have to feel so repetitive. To help, we’ve compiled a list of tips you may want to try next time you fancy spicing up your foreplay time.
Venture outside the bedroom
Keeping things interesting by doing something unexpected is one of the best ways to spice up your sex life. This could simply be by initiating foreplay outside of the bedroom. Now we’re not talking extreme here, we’re thinking maybe in the kitchen or in the living room whilst you’re watching the TV. You could then either lead your partner to the bedroom afterwards or have your fun right there.
Talking dirty is a great way to initiate foreplay. You don’t need to exude confidence and recite an erotic novel in order for this to be a success. There’s no need to overthink it, just simply stating what you want your partner to do to you can do the trick. It’s also a great way to learn what your partner likes or doesn’t like. Becoming a pro at talking dirty isn’t difficult, check out our blog post to find plenty more tips.
Make it an all-day event
Foreplay doesn’t necessarily have to be the pair of you in the moment, together. It could be sexy texts throughout the day or giving each other the eyes. It can start way before the main event, so don’t rush it. Tease each other throughout the day and build up the excitement, that way your partner won’t be able to resist when they can finally lay their hands on you.
Try not to Kiss
Getting face to face with your partner and resisting the urge to kiss can be one of the most intense feelings. Get close enough that your mouths are nearly touching and notice how your urges kick in. You’ll be surprised at how steamy foreplay can get.
Do the unexpected
Changing the way you do things in the bedroom can lead your partner to wanting more. If you normally get down and dirty at night, then switch things up and try it in the morning. Maybe you usually delve into foreplay when the lights are off and it’s dark, why not try lighting a few candles? As we said, switching up where foreplay happens can be exciting, just like switching up how you do foreplay itself.
Our tips and tricks are sure to help you out, are you just missing your sexy single to try these with? Head over to our naughty pond to experiment in some no-strings attached fun.
The million-dollar question when you’re in the early stages of a relationship; ‘Does he love me’. To help you solve the mystery behind men, we’ve compiled a list of indicators that he’s in it for the long run.
He’s always in communication with you
Even when you’re not together he wants to talk to you. Whether that’s simply sending you a message settling the previous night’s debate on whether chocolate belongs in the fridge or not, or whether they’re simply updating you on their day.
He compromises for you
Maybe he hates that TV series you’re begging him to watch, but he’ll say yes to make you happy. Or maybe you want to order in a Chinese, but he can’t stand it. Either way he’s compromising which is a big sign he’s falling for you. Love softens the heart and selflessness is an important sign of healthy relationship.
‘We’ or ‘Us’ replaces ‘I’
When you become part of his plans it’s a very good indicator that he’s feeling the love. Does he talk about taking you to his friend’s wedding? Or maybe even jokes about how good looking your future children together will be? He’s no longer thinking of himself as a bachelor, you’re now a big part of his life.
He leans on you for support
You’re his best friend. You listen to him and give him a shoulder to lean on when he needs it. If you’re his go-to for advice or to vent, then it’s a good chance he trusts you the most.
You both laugh together
If you find that you’re both typically in fits of giggles when you’re around each other, it’s undeniable you have fun and act silly together, which is a solid foundation for a relationship. A study completed by college students found that the more a couple laughed together, the stronger the chemistry between them both.
He’s being more optimistic lately
If you find that your guy is seeing more of the brighter side of life, it’s probably because he’s felling more comfortable and confident in a future with you.
He treats you like you’re the only person in the room
Maybe you’re at a party with other people but he can’t take his eyes off you or he’s trying to get you involved in conversations. It’s a good sign that he’s in love with you. His attentive side has started to show.
He cares about your friends and family
The most important people in your life suddenly also become his most important people. If he loves you, he’ll make the effort with these people in your life. He takes notes of group dynamics and pays attention to what your parents say.
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