Sam & Jacqui – October 2016
“I contacted Jacqui because you advised me of a perfect match.
Our profile was the first attraction.
The first date was at Pitlochrie.
We kissed on the second date at Callander.
We have been with each other nearly every day since.
Plenty laughter in the relationship but no stories to share yet
We hope to travel and have a long and happy future together
Sam & Jacqui”
Congratulations, to Sam & Jaqui who were matched together in our Silver Pond which specialises in dating for over 40’s. We love to hear of a good online dating success story, so if you’ve had success using Plenty More Fish tweet us @plentymorefish.
Whilst we may be a generation addicted to selfies and photos, it is safe to say that a well-written quality dating profile will help you stand out in the crowd and catch Mr or Miss Right. The thing is we’re just not very good at selling ourselves, it isn’t in our nature to ‘brag’ about our plus points but in reality this is exactly what you need to do in the world of online dating.
Even if you’re not a budding wordsmith with a little thought and creativity you can create a knockout dating profile. Still need a guiding hand? Our top tips below will prompt you in the right direction.
- Keep it short and sweet. Entice your date with just enough to peak their interest.
- Kids in your photos. Always a risky one as parents tend to keep their kids off the internet. However, if you are a single parent most of your pictures will contain your kids so a quick disclaimer about who that kid in your photo belongs to are appreciated, but not necessary.
- Funny is good. Witty is better. Be original and don’t copy and paste from other profiles.
- Please, no inspirational or insightful quotes. Online dating is not the platform to promote your views on mindfulness or inner peace.
- Guys, please don’t put your height in your bio. Whilst there may be shallow girls out there that open with this question, most of us are better than that!
Regardless of whether you’re a young professional or one of the many over 40’s daters, making the right first impression is key and a good dating bio can be a great way to introduce yourself.
If you’re looking for a potential date what are the things you look for in a good profile? We’d love for you to share with us your profile ‘deal breakers’.
Take the plunge this Black Friday weekend with a HUGE 40% off our online dating memberships – just enter code PMFFRIDAY when you sign up. Be quick though as this offer is only valid until Sunday 27th November 2016.
Believe it or not there is actually a question that is best left avoided when you head out on a first date. When I tell you what it is it might actually surprise you, because it is not what you think and the topic for this week’s blog acts as a cautionary tale for all of us in the world of online dating.
I posed the following question to a guy friend of mine the other week who has been dipping his toe in the singles dating pond, ‘what’s the one question from women on a first date that really winds you up?’
His answer….. ‘When they ask me what I do for a job.’
I looked at him eyebrows raised and somewhat quizzically and couldn’t understand why this seemingly innocent question was obviously like a poison apple. So over a fantastic keralan chicken take out we discussed the reason why this question is seriously taboo on the dating circuit.
On further investigation, it transpired that there are in fact a whole plethora of questions that are more likely to sabotage a first date than to send you both off into the sunset in each other’s arms. Between us, we came up with just some of the real situations below (and yes they are totally cringeworthy!);
- How come you’re single?
- What are your plans for the future?
- What happened in your last relationship?
- What is your ideal date?
- Do you still speak to your ex?
- Would you have sex on the first date?
My companion for the evening admitted on one first date the girl he met asked him if he had any ideas as to where their relationship was going. He was so shocked by her forthrightness that he excused himself there and then because there was no chemistry at all on his part and she made it very clear she was in for the long haul.
As he put it to me…’there was no point flogging a dead horse and she’d only be really disappointed that I lied to her.’
The questions above might seem a really obvious dating faux pas to make, but just why is asking someone what they do for a job so wrong? Well, in all honesty, it sends out the wrong signals.
If your date replies with the answer that they have a high-powered executive job it may well lead to the assumption they are wealthy and in return implies that you are materialistic and motivated by money. You may well be, and that’s your choice but as first impressions go it probably isn’t the one you want to make. Your relationship should be based on personality, shared interests and chemistry not whether or not you wish to hire this person. First dates are awkward enough without asking the above question – and does it really make a difference if he’s a labourer or a lawyer?
There’s a fine line between getting to know someone and digging a little too deep, so try to think before you speak. When getting to know your date it is important to remember that there’s much more to us than our professions and lots of people don’t define themselves by their jobs at all.
If you really want to get to date number 2 then may I suggest you stay well away from asking the killer question above as well as some of the other bizarre options listed!
Have you been on a date lately where the questions have veered into the bizarre? We’d love to hear your tales and pet peeves.
I’ll be honest with this. If you’d have posed me this question in my late twenty’s I would have point blank said ‘no’. The reason being is that apart from being much younger, less cynical and a lot thinner I believed firmly that you had to have instant, physical attraction with someone if you were to date them. Fast forward another twenty years and whilst I am still somewhat cynical I’ve learned that whilst I would love my life to be like a Hollywood ‘romcom’ with love at first sight the truth is that love and spark can develop over time.
So is the instantaneous spark just a myth? Is it the thing that dreams are made of and if you don’t feel chemistry at your initial meet and greet, should you give your date a second chance?
Asking around my single / dating friends many of them were adamant that they would go on a second date with someone who they had no romantic chemistry with on a first date. One of my friends in the over 40’s dating category summed it up quite well, he said if both parties have invested their time to write a profile, go through the niceties, there is a firm chance they are looking for a long term relationship and are generally past the fishing stage of one night stands.
From my point of view I tend to agree with him. Whilst some would say that a spark has to be something physical, I would say that it can also be something deeper and be a level of understanding that you get from that person.
By already agreeing to meet your date you’ve jumped the first hurdle of the physical attraction (no surprise there). One study showed most people can accurately predict who they’d be interested in just by looking at a photo before they even met the person. Think about it if you didn’t like the photo you wouldn’t have sent them a message!
If you’re thinking about entering into a relationship with someone then it will take time to learn to get to know the person and really see if they are for you; after all, it could be weeks before those little annoying foibles come out the woodwork and sometimes first date nerves get in the way and send us all into a wobbling mess.
So don’t call it quits after the first date! If you enjoyed chatting to each other, there were no awkward silences and you both wanted to swap numbers at the end of the night then why wouldn’t you give date number two a go?
After a couple of dates you’ll begin to get a feeling for what each other likes / dislikes and you will begin to feel at ease with each other. At this point be honest with yourself. If you’re not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, don’t beat yourself up it’s OK to give up. If you want to keep trying, go for it, but make sure to be careful of your date’s feelings too.
When you head out to that first date you’ve been waiting for keep in mind that someone you don’t have that initial spark with could just sweep you off your feet in the future.
What are your rules? Do you need a spark on the first date to take it further? If not, how long will you give it?
We all know the lyrics to the Fleetwood Mac Song ‘Little Lies’, a song about a relationship where one party chooses to believe the little lies rather than see the truth and change the situation. An analogy that can often be applied to online dating profiles. Most of us have been on a date where when we meet some of the things written on their profile just don’t add up and it is obvious they’ve been a little more creative than they should be.
But why? What’s the point?
Fact. Online dating, whilst fun is also grueling on the soul. In the busy pond of singles looking for love how on earth do you make your profile stand out against the hundreds of thousands of others hoping Cupid’s arrow will strike? Surely by being a little more creative with your profile you’re showing flair and individualism? Not quite.
The problem is that whilst creativity and flair would have got you top marks at school; when you’re looking for ‘the one’ you need to tell it how it is and be honest about your personality, what you are looking for and the traits you like or dislike. Turning your dating profile into work of fiction is not the smartest move.
Honesty is the best policy
The dilemma most online daters go over in their head is that being honest will come back and bite them and can sometimes backfire. Try looking at it another way. If you’ve been honest about yourself and what you’re looking for and a potential match takes umbrage with this were they really for you anyway?
Whether you’re a young singleton, an older dater or someone looking for a casual relationship it is important to write a profile that makes it clear what you want from a potential partner, what you are like as a person and your stand out personality traits.
Those of us in the category of ‘silver daters‘ should stay away from cliches such as ‘seeks companion’, ‘happy in own company’, ‘well settled in own ways’ – these would all indicate that friendship rather than a relationship is more important. Equally avoid phrases such as ‘light-hearted’, ‘funny’, ‘good sense of humour’ – after all, you’re looking for a meaningful relationship not a daily dose of the comedy club.
Words are vital when writing your online dating profile. The wrong ones can be an instant turn off and the right ones could bag you the perfect date. So what are the key ‘trigger words’ that make a standout profile?
Not surprisingly men look for women with words like ‘ambitious’ and ‘confident’ in their profile and women look for male profiles with the words ‘intelligent’ and ‘sincere’. The more positive descriptions you can use the better. For the female daters amongst us try incorporating words such as ‘hard working’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘motivated’ and ‘compassionate’. For the male daters build your profile using ‘spontaneous’, ‘outgoing’ and ‘perceptive’.
An honest well thought and well-written profile will trigger a natural emotional response from a potential date. Whilst you might want to be a little creative and go into your love of traveling and a passion for cats these are not the facts that are going to get your profile grabbing the attention of Mr or Mrs Right!
Feeling inspired to try out online dating? We have the perfect offer to spark your interest for bonfire night. Just click the banner below and see who can find to ignite your passions. After you registered, simply use our offer code PMFBONFIRE to upgrade. But be quick, this offer ends 7th Nov!
Something wicked this way comes…It’s Halloween and we thought we’d join in with the spirit of spookiness and give you some spooky-inspired date ideas that will give you a ghoulishly good time.
Things that go bump…
You might not need an excuse to get close to your other half, but just in case why not go on a haunted house tour or even spend the night at a haunted location with a ‘fright night’. There are loads around the UK and they make a great alternative date idea and will guarantee you some hand holding.
Pick a pumpkin
Crisp autumn day, long leafy walk and a giant pumpkin at the end of it to go home and carve together. A great low-key and relaxed date which will get you both being creative and unleash your inner child.
Scary Movie Marathon
Light the candles, draw the blinds, get your favourite sharing snacks in and cuddle up under a blanket and keep each other safe whilst the scary characters from the silver screen give you the goosebumps. Our favourite scary movie has to be The Conjuring.
Play Sexy / Scary Dress Up
If your relationship is hotting up then why not take the opportunity to get a little creative behind closed doors and surprise your partner with a naughty Halloween costume that will hopefully have them dying to get up close and personal.
However, you choose to spend your Halloween date night with your significant other, be it a little bit goofy, something sexy, or something scary we hope our ideas send you running into each other’s arms and not into a dark room with no doors.
Haven’t found your sooooouuuuul mate yet?
Take advantage and get 40% discount with our spooktacular Halloween offer. Click the image, register and then upgrade using our promo code: PMFSPOOK.
But be quick! It’s only valid until Sunday, 6th November. Muahahahahahaha!
Autumn is in full swing now and the arrival of shorter days and longer nights may make you want to stay in and chat with your potential date online, but if you can tear yourself away from the digital world there are some great events and eateries that make great alternative ideas for a first date. Here are a mix of things, for the younger and the over 40’s daters, that caught our eye for alternative dates and there’s not a dreary Weatherspoons in sight!
You might or might not be into art but let’s be honest this exhibition will raise an eyebrow or two. This year’s exhibitions include a giant bottom, a made-to-measure suit with a pattern of woven jacquard fabric bricks hanging in space, and 20,436 pennies in a pile surrounded by washed up litter and corrugated iron. All this makes for an unusual day out that will get the humour flowing and strike up a conversation with your partner on just how wacky yet politically poignant some of the work is.
A combination of amazing herby deep fried chicken and cocktails – could just make this the perfect food eatery for a date. The venue is located in Seven Dials which is a cool part of London for wandering about, with some eclectic shops – so this restaurant makes an ideal refuelling point after a day in the city. With a whimsical menu of deep fried chicken (check out The Colonel burger which is fried chicken thigh, buttermilk & herb mayo, cheese, lettuce & pickles) and great sour cocktails (the Negroni Sour is perfect) it is easy to relax here with your date and find some common ground over good food.
This is a seriously cool and retro night out – a roller disco that will hopefully have you head over heels for each other by the end of the night and get you connecting over a love of music old and new, legwarmers, glitter balls and all things old school! A great way to let those first date inhibitions go and just enjoy something different.
For an evening of intensity and drama (of the stage kind we might add!), then you should check out David Hare’s psychological thriller ‘The Red Barn’ which will have you on the edge of your seat. The play is thrilling and chilling and a great alternative to the usual of going to see a movie.
Fear not this is bingo but not as you know it. Forget dusty bingo halls and cheesy number calling – Rebel Bingo is slick, fast and an absolute blast of a night out and a fresh approach to the game. Think hedonistic 90’s clubbing mixed with bingo, add in glitter cannons, raucous number calling and high energy atmosphere as well as some off the wall prizes.
What better way to enjoy the sights and history of London than by taking in the spectacular that is The Lord Mayor’s show? Taking place for over 800 years, this historical event is a lively mixture of London’s past, present and future and culminates in a glorious, colourful cacophony of fireworks over The Thames. The perfect end to a great day out.
London is a fantastic city for finding unusual and different ideas for meeting an online date, and hopefully, this run down of some of the top autumn events will help you to uncover the very best of London, but also secure some brownie points with whoever it is you’re trying to impress for your date.