Sam & Jacqui – October 2016
“I contacted Jacqui because you advised me of a perfect match.
Our profile was the first attraction.
The first date was at Pitlochrie.
We kissed on the second date at Callander.
We have been with each other nearly every day since.
Plenty laughter in the relationship but no stories to share yet
We hope to travel and have a long and happy future together
Sam & Jacqui”
Congratulations, to Sam & Jaqui who were matched together in our Silver Pond which specialises in dating for over 40’s. We love to hear of a good online dating success story, so if you’ve had success using Plenty More Fish tweet us @plentymorefish.
It’s perfectly natural to feel nervous before a date. But what a time, right? Just when you want to be at your best! Don’t worry, it’s actually quite easy to manage those pre-date jitters. Here are some strategies we found to be quite effective:
Preparation is key
If you are one of those people who does everything that scares them at the very last moment, you are also likely to fret all the way leading up to your date, try to find an outfit an hour before or leave your house without really knowing where you are meeting your date. Not the best conditions to Keep Calm and Carry On Dating. So to ensure total dating zen, it’s definitely better to be prepared. Make sure you know what to wear, where to go and plan the things you can plan well in advance.
Set the right expectations
Often dating nerves can be caused by high expectations. The more importance you give the date, the more potential for pre-date nerves. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, try to relax and just see what happens. Your date will run more smoothly too, because you will be able to enjoy it more rather than ticking off boxes in your head.
Your body doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So instead of imagining something bad, try a positive thought. A nervous person’s body will send clear signals, such as raised shoulders, hunched torso and crossed arms which in turn will make you feel more anxious. But you can change your mental state in a very short time and here’s how you do it: Stand up tall, raise both arms in the air like you have just won an Olympic medal. Smile as brightly as you can. This may feel silly at first and I’d suggest you don’t necessarily try this on a crowded train (then again, why not?), but I promise you it does work. The key is to do it for at least 30 seconds and to really FEEL like a winner! Visualise yourself crossing that finish line, feel that winning feeling, your achey legs and stretched lungs. Hear the roar of the crowd and enjoy the moment. Try this exercise whenever you need a boost. The more you try it, the better and quicker it will work.
Let off steam
It’s no secret, that exercise is a great stress buster. This applies to date nerves too. So, hit the gym, go for a run or a brisk walk; anything to get that blood pumping round your body. Added benefits include a healthy glow, confident posture and an endorphin induced happy mood. All very attractive traits which your date is going to love.
One drink, two drink, three drinks, oops
Dutch courage may seem like a good idea, but drinking too much can cause you to make the wrong decisions and actually increase nervousness as alcohol depletes your vitamin B stores. For a calming bevvie try something more natural like camomile tea instead and have a little protein based snack to help keep your blood sugars even. Both will help to keep you calm.
So, do you think you are ready to start dating and put our strategies to the test? The hop over to Plentymorefish.com and find singles in your area.
The UK has the longest working hours in Europe with a culture of coming to work early and staying late. Although this is not something you can change without moving countries, you can alter the way you manage your time. Fortunately, online dating sites like Plenty More Fish can help busy people get back onto the dating scene.
Online you could be chatting to 12 singles in a week, in real life however, meeting 12 people would be more difficult. Internet dating is a great way to help people with limited time on their hands open their eyes to the huge amount of errr…..plenty more fish out there!
So, what are you waiting for? You too could be meeting lots of lovely singles in your area. Registration on Plenty More Fish is free and only takes a couple of minutes.
It is believed that William Shakespeare wrote what would later become the most famous love story of all time – Romeo and Juliet – between 1591 and 1595. A quote from this tragic play is:
“Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”
It’s safe to say these words are as true as they were almost 450 years ago and what better way to honour the playwright than to take inspiration from his words. My guess is that you, dear reader, have experienced unrequited love before, much like rest of us. It happens. You love someone but they don’t love you back. The healthy way to deal with this is to recognise the truth and move on. Yet sometimes, people become so wrapped up in a relationship, it seems impossible for them to see just how unhealthy that relationship is. Read on and discover the signs of a bad relationship:
Your partner puts you down
If your partner calls you names, ridicules you or makes you feel like an idiot in private or in front of others then they are no good for you! No one should be made to feel inferior or stupid in a loving relationship and if that’s happening to you, it’s time to leave.
You are keeping secrets
If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your partner says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect him/her, you devalue your own principles and could damage other important relationships.
Your partner wants you to change
If you new partner is very critical of the things you do and the way you look, it’s safe to say they do not truly love you. In a healthy relationship you don’t have to apologise for who you are. A healthy relationship will get your confidence to grow. In an unhealthy one it will shrink.
You feel bad, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship
A loving and good relationship is happiness, equality, respect and kindness. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong person.
Your partner doesn’t trust you
Constant phone calls, texts, emails and demands on your time. Jealous fits and angry accusations are NOT signs of love! If your partner doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your love. Opening your post or showing up at work unexpectedly, means they don’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which could lead to more serious relationship problems.
Your partner controls everything
Your partner making all the decisions may give you the illusion you are with a confident person but the need to control every aspect your life together is often another sign of deeply rooted insecurities. These are not easily dealt with and can be a sign of bad times ahead. A healthy relationship is a democracy, not a dictatorship.
You constantly argue about financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future and can’t seem to agree on your plans for the future. Perhaps it’s time to rethink this relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples have the same goals and desires.
Your loved ones don’t approve of your relationship
No one should choose their partner based on their family and friends’ opinions, but it’s still important to take their opinions into consideration. If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, seek specific reasons. Find out the root of their feelings, and try to be objective.
Saying they love you but not showing it
We’ve all done things in the past that have upset others, often unintentionally. But doing something knowingly that will upset the other person clearly shows a lack of respect. If your partner doesn’t care about your needs and wants, it’s really not healthy.
Be honest with yourself – the sooner you face the truth, the sooner you can start over. Everyone has a right to be happy and to be loved for who they are.
Does any of the above resonate with you? Have you been in an unhappy relationship? What made you decide to end it?
Your comments are as always welcome.
Emotional baggage is something we all carry around. Sometimes the baggage is so heavy and bulky that it takes up more room in our life than it should. We get used to that heavy feeling. It becomes part of us. But when you realise you are governed by your past and your emotional baggage is sabotaging your relationships and your life, stopping you from moving on, you need to take steps to break free and dump that heavy burden once and for all. Here’s how:
Feel the emotion
In order to let go, you will first need to allow the feeling to run its course. It’s okay to feel upset, hurt, betrayed – whatever the emotion – as long as you allow yourself to truly feel it. The longer you deny the truth, the longer you will drag this around with you. Give yourself permission and acknowledge what has happened to you. This is often the hardest step and most upsetting, but it needs to happen so you can start to heal.
When trust has been betrayed and feelings hurt, it’s hard to forgive and forget. By holding onto these memories and emotions however, you are also hindering yourself from moving on. The only person you are hurting by not letting go of the past is you. Someone once said, “Holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
To start to forgive, try this exercise: Call the person who hurt you into your mind’s eye, tell them how you feel, why and how they hurt you. Then tell them you are now okay, you have moved on and that you forgive them. Be sincere and then let them go. Now stand in front of a mirror and then forgive yourself. Yes, that’s right. You are very likely feeling feelings of guilt, shame, stupidity for allowing this to happen, for trusting the other person. Allow yourself to be okay with that. You didn’t do anything wrong. Forgive yourself and be kind to you, then let go.
Give yourself some time for reflection. Pretend you are a good friend who observes the painful situation to gain an understanding from an unbiased perspective. In doing this you will gain clarity of any destructive patterns and behaviours you may hold on to, which may have contributed to this scenario. By gaining awareness of negative cycles you regain control, freeing you from reliving them again in the future.
Focus on the good
Focus on what you would like your life to be. It takes practice but knowing that you can now move forward, safe in the knowledge you have overcome such a painful experience, will give you the strength to live a more confident and happier life. Now go and get it!
Have you ever been weighed down by emotional baggage? How did you manage to get over it? Please share your experiences, we’d love to hear them.
Can you believe it? It’s June already! How time flies when you are having fun, right? Speaking of fun, where are you taking your date this weekend? Still undecided? Well, your Fairy Fish Dating Blog Mother has a little idea you might enjoy.
A date, especially a first date, should be memorable and the more senses you engage, the more memorable the date will be. Our Date Inspiration for this month certainly ticks that box.
Enter London’s Dans le Noir, the restaurant with a difference. You and your date will be dining, yes you guessed it, in the dark, where you will be served by blind staff. Devoid of your dominant visual sense, you and your date can enjoy one of 4 ‘mystery’ meals where you will get to choose between meat, seafood or vegetarian. This way you get to explore your sense of taste and smell (and let’s not forget hearing) more fully. The food, mostly organic, is based on first quality ingredients, making the experience as interesting and tasty as possible.
Outside distractions, such as mobile phones, are a big no no at Dans le Noir and you will be asked to lock yours away (lockers are provided), giving you an opportunity to completely focus on each other and your sensory experience for the next hour or so.
Expect a few culinary surprises and a new perspective on dining and dating. To end the meal in a more traditional way, there’s a lit bar for post-dinner drinks. Or if you’d prefer sumptuous concoctions of the drinkable kind, why not head over to the nearby Zetter Townhouse cocktail lounge?
Whatever you decide, above all, we hope you have fun. ‘Cos that’s what dating should be!
Happy Dating! x
We feel it’s of huge importance to meet the demands of all our customers and with many of you having increasingly busy lifestyles, it often leaves you with very limited time to find dates. Online dating is a great way round this and with mobile it can be even easier. We want to give you what you’re looking for – a great dating experience on your phone. This is why *……..drum roll………* we’ve just totally rebuilt our great dating sites and making it even more easy for you to access Plenty More Fish on your mobile.
With our simple and straightforward mobile optimised web presence and members areas you no longer have to wait for your computer to load up to check who’s messaged you. You can now date completely on the move!
Give the all new Plenty More Fish mobile site a try by simply typing www.plentymorefish.com into your mobile browser. Enjoy!