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Our top 6 autumn dating ideas

It’s not always easy to find something to do with your date – especially as the days get shorter. Dinner and a movie are safe and boring. But don’t worry, we got you covered. Why not try one of our favourite dating ideas?

Cream of the crop

One of our favourite dating activities at this time of year is visiting a Harvest Festival. With a huge variety of different festivals happening each week across the country – especially if you are a foodie. Each festival has a different way to celebrate autumn, from gin and pie tasting to craft demonstrations and foraging tours – there’s something for everyone. Check out Country File’s favourite harvest festivals for some inspiration or browse the net for a local listing near you.

Get focused

Autumn is undoubtedly the best season to get out and take some photographs. You and your date can take some really creative and Insta-worthy shots of each other with minimal effort or equipment. Not only will you have tons of fun but you’ll also create lasting memories. #relationshipgoals

Go Go Glamping

As it gets colder it’s also a great time to cosy up. Whilst booking a hotel is nice, it’s also a tad snooze-worthy. But rather than go full-on Bear Grylls on your lover, consider the unusual options of glamping. Stay in a safari tent or a treehouse for a weekend out of the ordinary but with most of the creature comforts. Certainly beats a boring hotel room, right? To get inspired visit Canopy & Stars.

Après-Ciate the slopes

This is for the sporty couples among you. If you haven’t tried skiing yet, you’re missing out on a whole lot of fun. To get started, book some time on an indoor ski slope (just Google ‘ski slopes near me’). Impress your date with your graceful – or not so graceful – moves. And who knows? You might end up booking a winter ski break for two.

Cook up some magic

Cookery classes are as varied as there are culinary tastes. Whether you are an accomplished hobby chef or barely manage not to burn the toast, you’ll be spoilt for choice. And what’s not to like? You get to work together as a team preparing, cooking – and importantly – eating a meal. I mean, food! Right? Regardless of how the meal turns out, you might just learn a thing or two about cooking – or your date!

If you got it, haunt it!

Strong emotions – such as fear – are known to make someone more attractive, so our next idea is set to bring you close than ever – muhahaha! Check out Haunted Happenings for a hooooge offering of mystery and spookiness. Stay at a Haunted Inn or go on a fully-fledged ghost hunt a la Scooby-Doo. Whatever you decide to go with, this type of date activity is guaranteed to send tingles up your spine. We’ll leave it up to you to find out if that’s a good thing or not.

Need a date? Check out Plentymorefish.com where thousands of singles are looking for love.

5 ways of making this next relationship your strongest!

Chemistry alone is not an indicator of a successful long-term relationship. Going the distance takes effort (on both parts) and a real dedication to making it work. Once the honeymoon phase is over and routine kicks in we tend to forget that it’s often the smaller and less obvious things that make or break a relationship.

Happy and healthy relationships are built on fundamental behaviours that ensure both partner’s needs are met, leading to a deeper understanding and strengthened the bond.

Communication

To quote Salt-N-Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex, baby.” Yes, sex is a form of communication. One form. There are so many other ways couples communicate and every person has different needs. Knowing how your partner needs to be shown love – touch, words, gestures, intimacy – will make all the difference. Don’t fall into the trap thinking that just because you are a touchy-feely person, your partner is the same. He/she may feel loved when they are praised or told they are loved. Happy couples understand this difference and make a real effort to show their partner they are loved in a way they understand.

Compromise

In a healthy partnership, winning isn’t about having the last word or being right. It’s about each of you feeling happy with the outcome. When your ego becomes more important than your relationship you’re on a path that will only lead to heartache. It all comes back to communication – truly hearing your partner and understanding what they need is just as important as your own needs. The key is to focus what this means for your partnership and less for you as an individual, from there you work towards a mutually happy outcome.

Trust

You can’t be in a relationship when you don’t trust your partner. If your partner displays behaviours that make you suspicious even though you aren’t a jealous person, it won’t work. Equally, if you mistrust your current partner because you’ve been hurt in the past and you’re reading into things, your relationship is going to fail. Trust boils down to respect and healthy boundaries. Identify what a trusting partnership looks like to each of you and communicate this to each other.

“Thank you” and “I’m sorry”

Words almost as hard to utter as “I love you”, but words that can bond and heal. Admitting when you are wrong or showing gratitude for your partner are key factors for any relationship but especially a romantic one. No one is always right and no one likes to be taken for granted. Hearing a sincere “I’m sorry for….” shows maturity, vulnerability and a high degree of self-awareness. On the flipside – forgiveness and gratitude are equally as important.

Commitment

This means different things to different people. Some couples are in an open relationship whereas others prefer a more traditional approach. Make sure these boundaries clear from the start. Set an expectation early on before you get too invested. Honesty and authenticity are integral to building a solid foundation for your partnership.

Follow this advice and you’ll be sure on your way to a mature and lasting relationship.

Still looking for that special someone to build a future with? Check out Plentymorefish.com where thousands of singles are looking for love.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

3 reasons why you should date a vegetarian (even if you love a good sausage)

Hey meat lovers, it’s #Nationalvegetarianweek so let’s talk about why it’s ok to date a vegetarian.

Many members of the carnivorous persuasion are often put off by the idea of dating someone who doesn’t’ share our love for all things burger, steak and sausage. I mean, it is delicious, right? Anyhoo, let’s look at why dating a veggie may actually be a good idea:

They won’t bite

Pun intended. Believe it or not most vegetarians aren’t out there to recruit you to their way of life like some crazed cult follower. Oftentimes they worry if being veggie may be a problem for you. Seldom are your carnivorous ways a deal breaker for them. Vegetarianism is a personal choice so you won’t have to worry you may have to gnaw your chicken drumsticks in secret.

Your culinary world will open up

Veggies are foodies too and they don’t like to eat boring stuff, so finding restaurants that offer delicious veggie options that go beyond the cheesy pasta dishes or salads can be an exciting adventure, which is sure to open your world to new and exciting dishes.

You won’t have to share your fave food

If you are like me, you don’t particularly like to share your food. Sorry, it’s nothing personal, but you order yours and I’ll have mine, thank you very much. So, hands off my sticky BBQ ribs!

Lastly, when dating a veggie you may inadvertently start to eat healthier without even trying. More veggies = longer life. What’s not to love?

Are you a vegetarian? What advice would you give Meat Lovers? Sound off in the comments below.

Romantic love traditions from around the world

As April draws to a close, I’m often reminded of a courtship tradition that plays out on the night of the 1st May in German. As a native born in the Rhineland region, where this tradition is alive and well, this night played a significant role, especially during my teenage years.

On that night, boys of the region go out, armed with ladders, saws and often slightly inebriated to cut down a young birch tree which they would decorate with colourful paper ribbons and then plant on the roof of their beloved’s home (or a slightly less treacherous place) to declare their undying love.

Historically this tradition was used as an attempt to promote marriages in rural areas; today it’s still a popular way for singles to flirt.

It’s certainly romantic and probably not something you’d associate with the German culture but it also made me wonder how love is expressed in other cultures. So I started to look and here are my favourite 3:

Ireland

Everyone knows that finding a four-leaf clover is the symbol of good luck. But not many people know what in certain parts of Ireland it is also part of an ancient love ritual. It is still believed that if a woman consumes a four-leaf clover while she’s thinking of her crush, he will eventually be hers.

China

In China, the Dai people have this courtship tradition where a group of girls sitting together in the evening are approached by a group of men in red blankets. They will then pick a woman they like and serenade her. If she likes him too, she’ll give him a stool to sit on and he’ll return the favour by wrapping her up in the red blanket.

Italy

In what is now a worldwide phenomenon, in 2000, couples started to attach love padlocks – often engraved with their initials – to Rome’s Ponte Milvio bridge and then threw the key into the river Tiber as a symbol of their unbreakable and eternal love. Sadly, this ritual caused quite a safety hazard threatening the collapse of the bridge under all the weight. After a lamppost partially collapsed this tradition was stopped and it became illegal. But since the Italians are a romantic folk they created a website where you can attach virtual love padlocks.

Love is universal and it’s lovely to see that so many wonderful expressions of it are still traditionally practiced around the world.

All you need is love, right?

So you’ve been ghosted…what do you do?

So you’ve been on more than one date and you seem to have instant chemistry.  You’ve been texting for a few days since your last date, and then, POOF!  Your match has vanished into thin air.

Welcome to the murky world of ghosting.

Ghosting is a term that is becoming more and more frequently heard in the dating circles and so in our latest blog we thought we’d do a little research and find out just how people feel when they’ve been ‘ghosted’ by a date.

After quizzing some friends and asking around on social media these are the statements that came out:-

  • Makes you feel worthless
  • Makes you feel confused
  • Leads to you mistrusting other potential dates
  • Leads to a ‘why do I bother’ mentality
  • You feel disrespected
  • Feeds insecurities

Let’s face it none of those feelings and reactions are positive and dating should be positive, it should be adventure, an opportunity to meet new people, try new things, have new experiences and make lots of memories.

Ghosting sucks, and this article about a girl who was ghosted by a guy she’d been seeing exclusively for six months (!) shows that it’s not just the early day’s relationships that fall prey to this cowardly technique.

So what can you do if this happens to you in the world of online dating?

    • Take a positive attitude – it is not you with the problem. If someone ghosts you it is highly likely they have done it before.  A leopard cannot change its spots remember!

 

    • Don’t be tempted to keep messaging for an answer as to why – you won’t get one, and if you do it will be lies, it would see a classic excuse is for the ghoster to say that someone close to them has died and their life has spiralled out of control.

 

    • Don’t change who you are – remember you shouldn’t change just to fit into someone else’s lifestyle. If they cannot handle all of your AWESOMENESS then they are not worth your time and effort.

 

    • Don’t give up – get back online and start making new connections. Relationships don’t just happen they take effort.  So be dynamic and start something.  Just don’t desperation date (more on this later!)

 

    • Always and most important – remember YOU DIDN’T MESS ANYTHING UP.

Breaking up with someone is never easy to do, but ghosting is really cowardly and more brutal than actually being honest with someone.  Focus on yourself, going out with friends and ultimately holding your own and remembering your manners when everyone around you forgets theirs.

Has ghosting happened to you? How did you cope with it and what tips have you got for others in case in happens to them.

Is dumping a date by text ever acceptable?

It’s true that breaking up with someone is hard to do.  I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys telling someone it’s time to call quits on a relationship. Gone are the days it seems when you would meet up face to face and tell each other over dinner or coffee (as weird as that now seems looking back) that your relationship was over.  Now it is all about being dumped by text, or even worse by social media.

And that is exactly what happened to a friend of mine this weekend.  She phoned me in a state of disarray saying that her latest online dating match had texted her saying ‘that on reflection his life was too chaotic to add a relationship into the mix’.  Whilst sympathetic to her tears, I did mention that they’d only just moved off WhatsApp messaging and gone on two physical dates, so surely he was just sparing them some social awkwardness in person.  Alas, she didn’t quite see it in the same way.

But in reality is it THAT  bad to dump someone by text?  Surely there are times when it’s socially ok to spare each other the embarrassment of tears in public.

getting dumped by text message

In an attempt to offer some impartial advice here are some instances it could be considered ok to dump someone by text.

It’s a new relationship – if you and your date are still relatively new, and have only been out three or four times then dumping by text is totally acceptable.  You barely know each other and so there is nothing to be gained by a long drawn out letter (you probably don’t even know addresses yet) or a face to face meeting.  In fact, if the relationship is that new you could probably just get away with disappearing off the face of the earth rather than an official break up text.  No big drama.

Your date is avoiding you / you suspect they are cheating – let’s face it if the person you’ve been dating isn’t returning calls or texts or you have suspicions that they are playing the field then frankly they don’t deserve the courtesy of a break-up text.  Just move on.

Your relationship is purely a digital one – if so far your relationship has been purely screen-based and conducted by social media then putting the brakes on it in the same way won’t come as out of the ordinary either.

tumblr_inline_mupukja5v61qi51kt

The relationship is toxic – so you’ve been on a few dates that seemed ok, but then came a turning point and your date’s behaviour has become unstable, unhealthy and overall a little bit toxic.  In this case breaking up by text message is absolutely the safest thing to do.  Don’t put yourself in a 1:1 situation with them where you might get hurt.  Distance is safest.

You are in a long distance relationship – if your location was poles apart and you rarely saw each other and your relationship was all done by Skype and text then it is obviously more logical (and friendly on the bank balance) to break up in this way.  Seriously, though if you’ve spent months writing heartfelt essays to each other then that someone deserves a little more than your standard digital breakup.

broken-heart

Whilst this post is a lighthearted jest about digital breakups,  if you’ve got to a point of emotional closeness, or been dating for longer than three months, seen each regularly, slept together and been mutually exclusive to each other then you really owe it to the other person in the relationship to give them your time and honesty face to face.

Have you ever dumped someone by text message or social media or had it done to you? How did you feel? Would you ever end a relationship in this way?

Low key but cool ideas for Valentine’s Day Dates

As of the date of posting this blog, this is your official warning that it is 14 days until Valentine’s Day.  Put that reminder in your phone now and we hereby relinquish all responsibility that we never told you about it.

If you’ve recently embarked into new relationship territory having found your significant other online, this can be a nervy time.  You want to acknowledge the new person in your life but you don’t want to come across like a limpet or worse a serial killer.

clingy girlfriend syndrome

Don’t fret our team of busy love cupids have been out there hand-picking the some alternative, low key yet romantic options for Valentine’s Day dates.  So what are you waiting for, pucker up, look smart and perfect that Spotify Valentine’s Day playlist for the perfect night.

Indoor Picnic

Let’s face it the weather is grim.  It’s cold, wet, damp and dark and the thought of dining al fresco is most definitely off the menu.  The solution?  Create your very own indoor picnic and wine and dine your date in the warmth.  Think fairy lights, music, some delicacies to share (chateaubriand is always delicious with someone special), giant faux fur throws and candles and you have all the ingredients for a perfect romantic night in.  For a dash of extra cuteness order in some Valentine’s Day cookies for you to share.

ws-gtp79jga-jez-timms

Stargazing

There’s nothing more romantic than laying out looking the stars, but in the UK in the middle of winter, your date won’t thank you for this. Instead, why not head to one of the many planetariums across the UK for a night-time view of the sky sans the frigid temps. It will guarantee you some up close cuddle time.

stargazing around the UK

‘If Music Be The Food of Love’…

When you are happy your brain releases feel-good chemicals endorphin, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.  Dopamine, in particular floods your body and makes you relax and enjoy yourself. Why not look at local gigs and concerts, or even open mic nights that you could take your date to on Valentine’s Day.  Obviously pick something you have the same taste in and then you can spend the night listening to a favourite group, relaxing in each other’s company, letting your guard and inhibitions down and you’re guaranteed to have something both to talk about into the wee small hours about later on whilst you get cosy.

concerts for valentine's day

Create a Love Nest

We live in a world obsessed with social media and documenting our lives; our Facebook feeds are full of pictures of our friends living ‘perfect’ lives.  Sometimes though this obsession to post online distracts from the genuine sentiment of the moment.  

Valentine’s Day is all about enjoying each other without distractions and interruptions so why not take a step back and turn your house into your own romantic hideaway.  Somewhere where the two of you can decamp for 24 hours, phones off, curtains drawn, lights low, make a bed on the floor and just enjoy the quiet.  Simple pleasures such as a long steamy shower together, massage, good food and lots of tactile touching are all ways to make you both feel good about being with each other.  Your focus will be totally on each other giving each of you quality time, it is also much more personal than going away to a hotel.

couple-love-bedroom-kissing

Ultimately, it’s not about the grandiose nature of the gesture you choose to make it is just about making time to show that person that you care about them and that they make a difference to being part of your life.  Even if you don’t give a Cupid’s arrow about Valentine’s Day, at the very least, it’s nice to put in a little extra effort to make your partner feel appreciated.  

Valentine's Day waiting for a date

If you’re still looking for your significant other to spend Valentine’s Day with you’ve still got time to get online and find yourself a date.  As a little helping hand from our in-house Cupid’s if you use the Plentymorefish discount code ‘PMFVDAY’ you can save 40% on our online dating membership plans.  This offer is valid from today up until midnight on the 14th February.  So get out there and get wooing.

online dating discount code

 

If you’re lucky enough to have found love online then hopefully our Valentine’s Day date ideas will have given you some inspiration on how to celebrate it with your other half.

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