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5 Signs that Shout ‘You’re Dating the Wrong Person’

Navigating the dating field can be difficult, no matter how old we get and the knowledge we gain, no one can prepare us for the surprises that lay ahead for us. There comes a time -maybe after the first date or a month down the line – where we may wonder if there’s a future with this person. So, we’ve lay down a few basic signs to identify if it has any potential or whether they’re simply the “wrong person”.

1. You can’t be yourself around them

One of the key signs you’re dating the wrong person is that you’re not comfortable around them. It’s natural on the first few dates to want to impress someone and typically you may choose not to show your quirky traits. Saying this, you shouldn’t be putting on a song and dance to prove yourself to them, you should have a pretty good idea whether you could get comfortable in their presence after the first date or two.

2. They don’t listen to you

If you find they’re trying to control the conversation this could be a good indication that they’re not listening to you, particularly if they don’t seem to ask any questions aimed at getting to know you better. If they’re always waiting for their turn to speak and diverting conversation away from your topic, the truth is they’re more than likely uninterested in anything you have to say. So, spare your precious time and start planning your exit strategy.

3. They’re Non-Committal

If they keep meaning to introduce you to friends or family but yet they forgot to invite you to their Aunt Margaret’s 60th after they’ve been persistent with their promises to do so, this is a big red flag that screams non-committal.

We don’t mean just in terms of not taking it to the next stage in a relationship, but more so committing to simple things. If they’re flaky on dates or they keep meaning to “plan” this so-called date and they never seem to find the time to do so, then you’re looking at a non-committing dater.

 4. Communicates often with their ex

Do you often find them bringing up their ex in conversation spontaneously? Or maybe you feel them subconsciously making comparisons? If he/she has mixed thoughts going into a relationship and potentially may still be clinging to their ex, these behaviours could be an indicator that there is still a lingering past relationship that hasn’t been dealt with. This can get difficult if they share children or maybe going through a divorce, so we recommend communicating your worries first. But if you find they’re still chatting to their ex after expressing your concerns, she/he’s just not the right person.

 5. You’ll assume they’ll change

We all have set expectations we want our date to meet, but if you’re already thinking about what hairdressers you’re going to take them to next week, then they’re probably not the right person for you. If you’re following up on dates already hoping that they’re going to change their look or some of their habits for you, then it’s a big no-no. There will be someone out there that you can see past the looks and appreciate the actual person, even if they have some quirky habits. 

Ultimately, if you feel that you’re the only one putting any effort into a relationship you are probably with the wrong person. Do yourself a favour and walk away, so the right person has a chance to enter your life. You know what we always say… there’s plenty more fish in the sea!  

Looking for singles in your area? Find them on Plentymorefish.com.

Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

The first association people make with BDSM is Fifty Shades of Grey. The truth is Mr Grey is considered rather cringeworthy within the BDSM community. It is in fact completely different to how people perceive the kink. To give people a better idea of what it is, we’ve decided to do some research for you and debunk some myths surrounding BDSM.

The term ‘BDSM’ is short for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. A big thing to address, is that it doesn’t have to involve sex at all, neither does it have to involve whips and chains, like movies and porn make it out to be. The important thing to remember is that ensuring that both you and your lover are comfortable at all times during BDSM, for this reason we recommend avoiding taking part in this after you’ve consumed alcohol or drugs.

Communication is a key part of BDSM, talking to each other about what you both would like to try helps to create a comfortable, fun environment. Putting safe words in place can help with this. Stay away from a simple yes/no, as you may be in roles where you have to use these words during intimacy. The BDSM community use two acronyms about safety; SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink.) Don’t rush the moment, have fun with it and enjoy it by taking your time. It not only reassures your lover, but it also is a way to tease them to an even greater excitement. You have to remember if you want to divulge into BDSM, you are looking to have fun with your sexual desires, so it’s best to be relaxed around your partner and always be respectful.

Another thing to consider is starting off small and simple, you don’t need to buy a whole sex shop of toys to experiment with. Try starting off with sensory deprivation, you can purchase some restraints (Leather or Neoprene are the comfiest) or a blindfold. Trying each component on its own will give you a better idea of what your sexual preferences are, too much too soon can be rather overwhelming.

Bondage and Discipline

The first part of BDSM focuses on using toys as a way to control your lover. Discipline relates to both the physical and mental aspects of intimacy, these could be spanking with a hand, or denying/prolonging an orgasm (otherwise known as edging). By controlling it, it can give your partner a more intense, toe curling orgasm. Blindfolds also count as bondage and if you’re using restraints as a beginner, lightweight cuffs are the best choice.

If you’re using whips it is important to practice flogging before trying it on your lover. The key is to aim for the butt/back of the thighs as they have the most flesh on the body. It should be pointed out that whilst flogging, you should avoid organs or vulnerable flesh. When practicing flogging with longer whips it’s a good idea to try it on a pillow first so that you can practice your aim.

Dominance and Submission

This part of BDSM doesn’t have to necessarily involve Bondage and Discipline. It typically involves mental restraint and power games which can be arousing for yourself or your partner.

A dominant sexual partner will be typically known as a ‘top’, they are the ones who control the submissive by using power. They dish out any physical sexual acts like spanking, bondage, clamping or whipping. Although they are typically known as tops, they could also be the bottom in some cases, by demanding the top to perform certain acts.

A submissive sexual partner has to be in a position of trust and learning. They essentially give the power to their mind and body away to their partner, allowing them to take control. As a submissive you should always expect a level of balance in terms of your sexual boundaries and you should not be expected to exceed them. A submissive lover may not always appear as a quiet individual outside of the bedroom, it is common for confident and socially dominant individuals to act on their submissive fantasies in the bedroom.

The main thing to remember is to communicate clear boundaries so you can both have safe fun.

Find other open minded and fun-loving singles over on Plentymore Naughty Fish for adult, no-strings sexy dating.

Christmas gift ideas for new couples

You have been dating for a few weeks now and things are going really well. Awesome! But Christmas is right around the corner and you are stuck with the decision on whether to buy your new love a prezzie or not, and if so, what.

Buying a gift this early on in a relationship could come across as moving too fast, whereas not giving one could portray you as Scrooge’s second cousin twice removed. But before you hop on the next power sleigh towards the North Pole, let us help you with 3 gift ideas which are guaranteed to spread festive cheer without screaming ‘I think you are the one!’ (unless he/she is, then I’d still advise you to wait a couple more weeks before you propose…but we digress). Here we go:

Gifts for her:

1. Spa Treatment
Women love to be pampered so a voucher to a nice spa weekend for the two of you is bang on. The best ones offer a choice of treatments such as a mani / pedi, back massage or facial. However, weekend packages can be expensive, so either shop around or simply book some treatments at a local beauty salon. Staff can advise you which package is best.

2. Day Out Voucher
Treat her to a trip somewhere she has not been before or a place she loves and take a look at the sights. Round it off with a nice dinner and remember to take the camera for plenty of piccies for your second gift, a photo book, which will make a thoughtful keepsake. Add some creativity and make it fun, but don’t spoil the second surprise. 😉

3. Spoil Her Night
You can create a magical evening by treating her like a queen all night. Run a bath with and pour in essential oils (like relaxing lavender) and light scented candles to set the mood. Treat her to her favourite meal, rent good movie, really go all out to spoil her and make her feel special. Use your creativity, she’s guaranteed to love it! Just remember, this is not about you, so no ulterior motives gents!

Gifts for him:

1. Aftershave
The classic, yet fail-proof option. Casually ask him about his favourite brands or better, check with friends. If you aren’t prepared to fork out £30 – £60 for an aftershave, just go for the body spray option of the same brand. Best bit, your man will smell edible and who knows where that might lead?

2. Magazine / Comic Subscription
I have yet to encounter a man without a passion for something, be it technology, economy, comic books, music or trains and you are guaranteed to find a matching magazine. Most publications offer subscriptions from 3 months up to a year. If you aren’t sure, what he is into, ask his best friend or a family member.

3. Experience Day
Whether he’s into sports, the outdoors or sampling a good ale down the pub, a day centred all around him and his interests is sure to impress and gives him an opportunity to show off in front of you.

Right then, better get ordering now folks!

Christmas kisses from us all at Plentymorefish.com!

How to get over being rejected by a date

Let’s be frank, dating is not all rainbows and puppy dogs. It takes time and patience and there can be disappointments and rejections along the way. And it’s those rejections we’d like to address to help you navigate them more easily. 

Don’t take it personally

You have no idea what reasons the other person has for not getting back in touch, so fretting about it does more harm than good. We know it’s not always that simple, especially if you have dated the person for a while. Think about it this way, if they don’t share your feelings about the relationship, isn’t it best if you move on?

Be compassionate

No one likes to be rejected and it’s perfectly normal to feel upset and hurt at first. And if you’ve been dropped without any explanation it can hit you especially hard. It’s important, however, to practice self-kindness, as blaming yourself will only hurt you further. Unless you’ve been given a very clear reason why it’s not worked out, avoid jumping to conclusions as to why it didn’t last. There may be many reasons why he/she decided to break it off and they don’t have to be your fault.  

Avoid a victim mindset

On the flip side of blaming yourself is blaming the other party. After a rejection, it can be very easy to slip into a victim mentality by generalising behaviour (ie. all men/woman are…). This may feel good at first, and it certainly feels easier than looking in the mirror, but in the long-term, this mindset will sabotage any real chances at finding new love and keep you feeling stuck and powerless. Again, acknowledge your feelings but don’t dwell. 

Embrace yourself

After a rejection, especially when we listen to our critical inner voice, it’s easy for self-doubt and insecurities to raise their ugly heads and can leave us feeling less sure of ourselves. When we’ve been left by someone, we may find ourselves feeling out of place. It may become difficult to visit certain places, see certain people, or partake in activities for a while. However, this situation presents an opportunity to really connect with our individuality, your own needs. What is it that you enjoy doing? Who are you outside of a relationship? Focussing on defining yourself anew again, can get you out of heartbreak-mode much faster. Realising that you have a whole life outside of whatever rejection you’ve experienced, and that life will go on.

What has helped you deal with rejection in the past? Let us know in the comments below. 

Is it ok to dump someone by text?

It’s true that breaking up with someone is hard to do.  I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys telling someone it’s time to call quits on a relationship. Gone are the days it seems when you would meet up face to face and tell each other over dinner or coffee (as weird as that now seems looking back) that your relationship was over.  Now it is all about being dumped by text, or even worse by social media.

And that is exactly what happened to a friend of mine this weekend.  She phoned me in a state of disarray saying that her latest online dating match had texted her saying ‘that on reflection his life was too chaotic to add a relationship into the mix’.  Whilst sympathetic to her tears, I did mention that they’d only just moved off WhatsApp messaging and gone on two physical dates, so surely he was just sparing them some social awkwardness in person.  Alas, she didn’t quite see it in the same way.

But in reality is it THAT  bad to dump someone by text?  Surely there are times when it’s socially ok to spare each other the embarrassment of tears in public.

getting dumped by text message

In an attempt to offer some impartial advice here are some instances it could be considered ok to dump someone by text.

It’s a new relationship – if you and your date are still relatively new, and have only been out three or four times then dumping by text is totally acceptable.  You barely know each other and so there is nothing to be gained by a long drawn out letter (you probably don’t even know addresses yet) or a face to face meeting.  In fact, if the relationship is that new you could probably just get away with disappearing off the face of the earth rather than an official break up text.  No big drama.

Your date is avoiding you / you suspect they are cheating – let’s face it if the person you’ve been dating isn’t returning calls or texts or you have suspicions that they are playing the field then frankly they don’t deserve the courtesy of a break-up text.  Just move on.

Your relationship is purely a digital one – if so far your relationship has been purely screen-based and conducted by social media then putting the brakes on it in the same way won’t come as out of the ordinary either.

tumblr_inline_mupukja5v61qi51kt

The relationship is toxic – so you’ve been on a few dates that seemed ok, but then came a turning point and your date’s behaviour has become unstable, unhealthy and overall a little bit toxic.  In this case breaking up by text message is absolutely the safest thing to do.  Don’t put yourself in a 1:1 situation with them where you might get hurt.  Distance is safest.

You are in a long distance relationship – if your location was poles apart and you rarely saw each other and your relationship was all done by Skype and text then it is obviously more logical (and friendly on the bank balance) to break up in this way.  Seriously, though if you’ve spent months writing heartfelt essays to each other then that someone deserves a little more than your standard digital breakup.

broken-heart

Whilst this post is a lighthearted jest about digital breakups,  if you’ve got to a point of emotional closeness, or been dating for longer than three months, seen each regularly, slept together and been mutually exclusive to each other then you really owe it to the other person in the relationship to give them your time and honesty face to face.

Have you ever dumped someone by text message or social media or had it done to you? How did you feel? Would you ever end a relationship in this way?

A woman’s guide to surviving dating in your 40s

Let’s be honest for a moment and put it on the table; dating in your 40s is pretty grim (ok, personal experience talking, it is bleaker than a public service station restroom at the side of a deserted motorway).  At 40 the competition is steeper and it becomes a whole lot more confusing and you’ll find the type of men in the over 40s dating pool very different.

Here are some truths that could help you navigate the tricky path of mature dating.

The men are having a mid-life crisis

Men like younger women. A lot of men in their 30’s and 40’s seem to have an awakening moment and panic that they’re getting old and as a knee jerk reaction go out and find the perkiest 25-year-old they can find in an attempt to settle down.  Even if you are near their own age they will still see you as ‘old’ and dismiss your profile. Harsh.  You may well be witty, successful, outgoing and smart but none of that matters in their heads once you are in the over 40’s club.

You attract that toy boys

An older, gorgeous, confident and self-assured woman is an absolute lure for a man in his late 20s.  To them, the age gap works in their favour as you’ll be comfortable and well skilled in the bedroom and the perfect teacher for them to learn some tricks.  It may suit you to end up with a 25-year-old toy-boy between the sheets but you’ll struggle to find someone old enough to suit your lifestyle and goals if you go down this path.  Think late night booty calls and the wonders of dick pics…really??

You love your kids but not everyone else does

Having kids and attempting to get back to dating and relationships is tough. All the time you are mindful of their needs and emotions.  You’re careful not to introduce them to every date, you question when to introduce them to the date and then you’re also trying to juggle a date around organising child care.  For some guys the fact you’re a mother will discount you instantly; remember… that says way more about them than it does about you.  Equally, you don’t need to introduce them to everyone unless you think that person is going to have some level of permanence in your life.  If you enter a relationship be upfront about your kids and whether you realistically want more and you’ll soon find out which guys are serious about sticking around.

You’re set in your ways

Dating in your 40’s means you know what you want – this translates to you’re stubborn and won’t deviate from your ideal situation.  Your list of dating dealbreakers is far more set in stone than it was when you were 25, and if you’re looking to settle down and start a family this is now crunch time and you’re going to be super picky about it.

There’s too much choice

Your phone is full of dating apps, you have RSI in your thumb from continual swiping and you’ve moved to second base (WhatsApp) with several potentially interested parties. Stop! Too much choice is a bad thing and makes it harder for you to spot the genuine guys who are real relationship material.  If you want a partner with a similar professional mindset and age to your own then it is quite possibly you need to be looking at mature dating websites rather than the usual hookup apps.

You’re flying solo

Chances are that by this point all your other female friends are married, also have kids or are in long term relationships.  This means that you’ve lost your partner in crime who will pull you back to reality on nights out after too many mojitos.  You are flying solo with no wing woman in your corner to guide you.  It can be awkward talking to your friends about your dating exploits when their lives are on a very different path and can leave you feeling a little isolated.  Advice? Confide in one close friend who you really trust with your dating tales and keep it between the two of you – their advice will be invaluable and more genuine if they feel like it is something just between the two of you.

Dating in your late 30s and early 40s is complexed. Shapewear becomes your best friend and there’s a whole text acronym sub culture you don’t understand, but on the plus side you don’t have to justify your stream of one night stands to your mother anymore.

Ultimately, don’t lose hope, when you fall in love as cheesy as this sounds it really is something very special and if it was so easy to come by, well all the sense of mystery around it would be gone and it would lose the magic.

Remember at the heart of it you are an amazing woman and anyone will be lucky to have you….just be patient, don’t settle for second best and keep on searching.

Writer’s block? Tips for the perfect dating bio

Whilst we may be a generation addicted to selfies and photos, it is safe to say that a well-written quality dating profile will help you stand out in the crowd and catch Mr or Miss Right. The thing is we’re just not very good at selling ourselves, it isn’t in our nature to ‘brag’ about our plus points but in reality this is exactly what you need to do in the world of online dating.

tips for writing an online dating bio

Even if you’re not a budding wordsmith, with a little thought and creativity you can create a knockout dating profile. Still need a guiding hand?  Our top tips below will nudge you in the right direction.

Keep it short and sweet

Entice your date with just enough to peak their interest. Here are some good examples:

Jake, 25
Sunday fun day 👍🏻  Sunday chill day 👎🏻
Snakes 😍  Moths 😱
Bike ✅ Car ⛔️ 

Pineapple on pizza > great combo (Perhaps we will be too?)

Jessica, 28
“She has funny toes.” – My best friend Clare
“Excellent gums. Definitely flosses regularly.” – Sara, my hygienist
“She’s cute, but she snores.” – My mother
“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.” – My ex (actually it was Captain Jack Sparrow in At World’s End but I’m sure my ex would agree)

Kids in your photos

Always a risky one as parents tend to keep their kids off the internet. However, if you are a single parent most of your pictures will contain your kids so a quick disclaimer about who that kid in your photo belongs to are appreciated, but not necessary.

Funny is good. Witty is better.

Unless you’re a natural comedian it will pay dividends to spend some time researching other profiles and taking inspiration from them. Be original and please don’t copy and paste from other profiles.

Quotes

Must we really say it? Online dating is not the platform to promote your views on your views on mindfulness or inner peace, so please stay clear of inspirational quotes (unless you can turn them into something funny or use it as a topic of why you think it stinks).

I’m this tall…

Gents, refrain from adding your height to your dating bio. Whilst there may be shallow girls out there that open with this question, most of us are better than that!

Shirtless pics

Lads, contrary to what many of you (90%) may believe, posting shirtless pics can mean on average 25% fewer matches. More than half of the women who’ve been asked said that posting shirtless pics implies a lack of maturity and self-awareness.

Regardless of whether you’re a young professional or one of the many over 40’s daters, making the right first impression is key and a good dating bio can be a great way to introduce yourself.

If you’re looking for a potential date what are the things you look for in a good profile?  We’d love for you to share with us your profile ‘deal breakers’. 

 

6 Warning Signs when Dating a Divorced Man

When you’ve been in the dating pool a while and/or you’ve reached a certain age it’s very likely you’ll date someone who’s had a failed marriage or long-term relationship. But that doesn’t mean that person won’t be a great partner. There are, however, some warning signs to look out for when dating a divorced man.

Separated, not divorced

The first red flag is whether he describes himself as separated rather than divorced. Many women get sucked into a relationship (rebound anyone?) with a separated man, only to find out that he’s still married and actually working on his relationship or that he’s going to remain married, but still separated for the foreseeable future and he never has any plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, translate that into, ‘I’m not available for anything serious’.

Going too fast

The second warning sign is how fast he jumps into a very serious relationship. Oftentimes divorced men are only comfortable with relationships that become very serious, very quickly. They are putt off by the dating process of getting to know the other person and it’s important you slow things down. Even if he is keen to spend a lot of time with you or goes as far as suggesting moving in together, slowing down will give you both time to really get to know each other and see if you are actually compatible in the long run.

Never again

Having a negative attitude towards love or being emotionally unavailable is also a red flag. Granted, going through a divorce is one of the most traumatic things a person has to deal with, and it can leave that person bitter and closed off to love. So, if he’s still in a place where he can’t see himself to ever get married again – believe him. He’s not yet moved on and is still reeling from that experience. Let him go, he’s not ready.

He’s depressed

Red flag number four is whether he’s depressed or has low self-esteem. As we said earlier divorce is traumatic and it can really take a toll on a person’s mental state and destroy their self-esteem. Divorce has the potential to make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if you’ve been cheated on. But remember, it’s not your job to fix him, it’s not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He will need to find that path on his own.  Please avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate him when you could be keeping your options open to other people.

Check the ex

If his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life that’s another warning sign you shouldn’t ignore. Now, we get it if he has children with her, they will need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a friendship. But if you’re finding that she’s still a constant part of his life, he’s texting her on a constant basis, always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. There’s still a possibility he might want to win her back.

Kids but no kids

Speaking of children. How’s his relationship with his kids? If he has zero custody of his children doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a major problem. Nonetheless, it’s a red flag. Typically, the relationship that someone has with their children is very coherent with the relationship they’ll have with other people in their life, but divorces are complicated and messy, so you really want to find out what actually went to get a clearer picture of him.

Now those are the biggest red flags we really want you to be looking for when you’re dating a divorced man, and if you don’t see any of those red flags, then great, go for it!  Just because a man was divorced doesn’t mean he’s damaged goods. On the contrary, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and be at a point in his life where he has more clarity about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.

Ready to find your next date? Check out our divorced singles pond and start chatting to other divorced singles today. 

Mature dating – How to find love in your 50s, 60s and beyond

The world’s population is getting older year on year. The UK now has an average life expectancy of 81 years, meaning that finding love is no longer limited to people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. More and more mature singles find themselves diving into the dating pool and often for the first time in a long time. That can be a daunting experience. But don’t worry, we’re here to help you navigate your new and fun dating journey.

Here are our top tips to finding love again in your later years:

  1. Try something new

Think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Think again! Not only is taking up a new hobby good for your brain and mental health, it’s also an excellent way to make new friends and meet likeminded singles. We’re certain there’s always been something you’ve been wanting to try out – choir singing, a cooking class or perhaps learning to tango? The possibilities are endless.

  1. Get moving

Physical exercise is a great way to improve many aspects of your life – mood, energy and self-esteem! Whether it’s dancing, walking, yoga or swimming, all are set to keep you young and in great shape. There are literally hundreds of clubs and classes looking to welcome you. Why not try something new every week to get you started until you find ‘The One’ you really like?

  1. Go shopping

Stuck in a rut when it comes to fashion? Now’s the time to ditch the old look and go for something new and fresh! One of the best ways to explore new looks is to get some help from a personal stylist. Many department stores now offer this service and it’s not as expensive as you think. Go on! Invest in yourself – you are worth it.

  1. Try online dating

If you haven’t tried online dating yet, you are missing out. The beauty of dating apps is that you get to speak to a lot of singles before you meet them. There are many dating sites now catering for mature singles looking to connect and find love – like our Silver Pond.

  1. Book that trip

It’s time to go on an adventure! Many travel companies now offer solo travellers the opportunity to join likeminded people on a group holiday. Not only will you see amazing new sights, but you’re bound to make new friends and maybe even have a little holiday romance. There’s no excuse not to go on that trip you’ve always dreamt about doing. Which brings us to…

  1. Be open to possibilities

In other words – start saying yes. Key to meeting new people and finding love is breaking out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be open to new opportunities. Much like trying something new – it can feel a little scary at first – but soon you’ll realise that trying new things is fun. It’s time to embrace the possibilities again.

If you’re single and interested in meeting like-minded people, join the Silver Pond over at Plentymorefish.com.

Stuck on date, break up, repeat?

So here you are again, back with the ex. Up and down you go… rehashing the same problems, breaking up time and again, only to get back together shortly after.

If your relationship feels more like the rinse and repeat cycle of your washing machine rather than the healthy, grownup partnership it should be, it’s time to break that rollercoaster cycle once and for all.

Awareness

Don’t worry – you’re not alone or weird for having such a complicated relationship. Many people find themselves in an on-again/off-again relationship at some point in their lives. The first step to finding answers is becoming aware that it’s not all that great. Realising the relationship is actually making you pretty miserable is key to seeing the behavioural patterns that are keeping you stuck. If you can’t see the patterns, ask a trusted friend whom you can trust to be honest with you. Identify them and you can start to tackle them.

Communication

Many couples who find themselves in this type of yo-yo relationship often fail to realise the reasons why they broke up in the first place. They keep coming back to the same issues and simply don’t communicate effectively to resolve them. Instead they keep repeating the same behaviour and see breaking up as a solution rather than part of the toxic cycle. You may not agree on all points but try working towards a mutually beneficial compromise. Effectively communicating your needs as well as listening to your partner are key elements of a healthy, mature relationship.

Closure

Another reason why some relationships are stuck on repeat is because they are lacking a sense of closure. For it to be really over, you need a clean break. At least for a while to get the emotional distance to break the cycle and to redefine yourself outside of that relationship. Keeping in contact with your ex is in many cases the real reason why you can’t call it quits.

Attraction

Don’t underestimate the power of physical attraction. Some couples have really strong chemistry but in reality, are totally incompatible on every other level triggering them to keep coming back for more. This type of relationship can be really addictive and difficult to break because it feels so good when it’s on. Next time this happens – ask a friend to remind you of the many times they had to pick you off the floor after the breakup and ask yourself if it’s worth repeating?

Familiarity

They break up with you.

Their new relationship doesn’t work out.

They’re back with you.

If an ex keeps you as a safety net in between other relationships, it’s often because they are afraid of being alone or simply because it’s convenient. Either way, you are not important enough to them to truly care about how this affects you. Release yourself from this nightmare and send them packing.

Be realistic

Thanks to Hollywood many of us have a warped expectation of romance and relationships. He kisses you in the rain and they lived happily ever after. In reality though, mature relationships take work and commitment – from both parties. If they always fall short on promises or fail to change hurtful behaviour, it’s time to get real. Why would they change this time when they didn’t the previous 25 times? Ask yourself if you truly believe that will change. If there’s any doubt, perhaps it’s time to put an end to this misery.

There are tons of people who want the same so get out there! Everyone deserves to be happy and feel loved.


Still looking for love? Register for free on Plentymorefish.com and start chatting to singles in your area today.

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