I came across a very interesting article this morning. So interesting in fact, I thought I’de share!
According to a top therapist it is extremely important to understand and acknowledge the speaking and listening styles of a partner or date. Apparently, everyone has a different communication style and there is no right or wrong style . It is important however, to understand how your partner communicates so you do not get frustrated by how they think. You could start finding out by asking yourself and your partner the following questions:
Q1. If someone you knew quite well told you they were thirsty would you:
a) Think that’s interesting information
b) Go and get them a drink
If the answer is (a) this means you or your partner is a literal listener and take things at face value so tend to think of its literal meaning rather than reading into anything. If the answer is (b) then you or your partner is a inferential listener and therefore will try to work out what is meant using own interpretations. An individual with a inferential listening style will feel that a question like this implies an action.
Q2. If someone you knew well did something pretty badly would you:
a) Tell them, its important that they know
b) Ask them how they thought it went and wait for them to tell you
If the answer is (a) then chances are you or your partner is a literal speaker and tend to say exactly what you mean. If the answer is (b) then you or your partner is likely to be an inferential speaker and will tend to weave around a topic hoping the person in question will guess or work out what they mean.
Remember: There is no ‘better’ way to be, we are all different but it can be very useful in a relationship to understand how your partner communicates in order to understand them a little better.