Every once in awhile you meet someone you fancy the pants off and the chemistry between you is tangible. It’s like electricity and you feel you have met your soulmate. You fall head over heels for this person and the world turns into a cotton candy coloured bouncy castle with zero gravity. There’s no denying it, you are in love.
The first stages of love are the most wonderful moments a person can experience but the can also cloud your perception of reality. Whilst there may be undeniable physical chemistry between you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are compatible. And if you are looking for a long term relationship, chemistry will only get you so far.
Once the initial stage of ‘love goggles’ wears off, reality sets in and you start to understand the other person more clearly, their beliefs and values, what makes them happy and what not. When these values and beliefs don’t match up with your own, trouble may be ahead. Successful relationships take work and require effort and commitment on both sides and having the same values in life goes a long way to creating a solid foundation.
- Values – Our values are personal to us and affect us at a deep subconscious level. Everything we do and every decision we make is based on our values. They are our guide to what is important to us and can include concepts like education, effort, equality, honesty, perseverance, loyalty, faithfulness…etc.
- Beliefs – Our beliefs on the other hand are our assumptions we make about the world around us. They are shaped by what we see, hear, experience, read and think about and they apply not only how we see ourselves but also how we see other people. Beliefs can be changed, whereas values are part of who you are.
Your values and beliefs make you unique, if you live your life and relationships in conflict with them you will inevitably end up unhappy. To understand what you need in order to be happy is probably the best advice we can give towards finding lasting love. When you know yourself, you will attract the right person into your life. It’s like wearing the correct prescription glasses; suddenly things become more clear and your focus is sharper.
Why not take some time out for yourself this week and seek to understand your values and beliefs? It will go a long way to help you find happiness and love and you deserve both.
Until next week lovely readers! x
“Mick and I have now been together for about 6 weeks and have just returned from our first holiday together. It was just a wink from me that made Mick look at my profile and see how we think alike. He would have never known but for that wink. After he winked back and we exchanged a couple of messages to each other we arranged our first date. As soon as we met I knew that there was a buzz between us and we held hands all night. Since we met and as we spend more and more time together we realise just how alike we truly are and how luck we have been to meet.”
Mick & Sue
Congratulations to Mick & Sue who met on Plenty More Fish. You look so happy in your picture! Wishing you both a very happy future together. x
We just received this email by Marcella and Jake who met using Plenty More Fish and we’d love to share it with you. So happy for you guys! All of us at Plenty More Fish wish you ever lasting love and happiness! xxx
Our Story – Marcella and Jake
Marcella and I met through the Plenty More Fish site and we thought we would let you know how this came about. I had been on the site for about 3 months on the advice of my son who had met a very suitable lady on there. Marcella had been on the site for some time too.
Marcella and I had previously met a number of people separately through the site, each of which had resulted in one-date meetings, only for both of us to find that that vital spark was not there with the other person and there was no point in pursuing such connections.
Then on Tuesday March 12th this year I received a wink from Marcella. I looked at her profile and liked very much what I read. There was no photo so I responded by asking her for a pic and sending her an extended profile which told her much more about me. I didn’t need to send a photo as my profile already had one and she had obviously seen it. She responded with a pic and an email entitled “Gobsmacked” as she was very surprised but delighted by the amount of detail that I had provided in my extended profile. Her pic showed her to be an extremely attractive lady.
I was working in Devon that week and by Fish-mail I asked Marcella for a date and we exchanged mobile phone numbers and after some texting and a long conversation we arranged to meet up on the Thursday evening two days later, at a very nice bar and bistro in the North West that I know, which puts on lots of gigs, jazz, blues, rock – all sorts – usually on a Thursday evening. I have played there with my own band several times so it was very familiar to me. I was driving back that Thursday evening from Devon to my home in Yorkshire, which is about 40 mins drive from there and Marcella lives not too far away as well, so we were both easily able to get there.
We met outside the bar where I was waiting for Marcella to arrive in a taxi. When she alighted from the taxi and came to me I was immediately and instantly attracted to Marcella and for me it was quite simply love at first sight – she greeted me with such openness and warmth – she has such a beautiful personality. I know that sounds corny but it’s true. She was a little more practical, falling for me (she later confessed) during the evening, when I pulled out a “nit comb” to comb my hair!!!! “I don’t have ‘em” I hastened to tell Marcella, and explained that “it’s just that this kind of comb is very small and neat and fits nicely into my wallet”. Hey, I’m just a practical guy………I was somewhat dishevelled as I had just driven 275 miles to get there – about 5 hours in the car, and having worked in Devon for many weeks I had not had a chance to have my hair trimmed for the date. I think it was my practicality and lack of pretension that hooked her.
We talked and listened to the band and had a really lovely time together, till the gig finished about 1am. By then Marcella was confident enough about me to allow me to drive her home and I dropped her off at her door – but didn’t even get a peck on my cheek for my trouble. The cheek!! – although we did hold hands in the car. The following day I asked Marcella by text for another date and we agreed to meet for lunch the following Tuesday (I was moving house that weekend) at a pub up on the East Lancashire Moors, called “Owd Bett’s”. It’s an old pub, very charming and we spent all afternoon having a lovely lunch, very leisurely, with the place virtually to ourselves. We finished about 5pm, when I had to set off on the 5 hour drive to Devon to my worksite, where I was working for the rest of the week. That evening Marcella had arranged to go out with a group of female friends but she later text’d me to say she had cancelled, as she wanted to stay at home and chill and savour our afternoon together. I text’d back that I had savoured the afternoon all the way down to Devon for 5 hours in the car. Our next date was the Sunday following when Marcella invited me to go swimming with her as a guest at her health club – fortunately I was still reasonably fit and I accepted. That was very pleasant even though I had not done any swimming for a long time.
That first date was exactly 3 months ago and since then we have been inseparable, going to gigs (some of mine), dancing and to gym and swimming whenever possible. Marcella is into keeping fit and has drawn me into this and I have lost 20 lbs without trying and am now much fitter – to our mutual benefit.
I have been with Marcella to her home country in the Far East for a holiday – her parents were Chinese and she was born and raised in a Far East country, but has been resident in UK for many years. There I met all her family and many of her friends from childhood and school, with whom she has stayed in touch. We had a fantastic time, very romantic and exciting – especially for me – not being familiar with the Far East or its culture and customs. I was very blessed as I had a “local” with me as my guide and mentor and she introduced me to all manner of new experiences that most tourists and holidaymakers would not see for lack of local knowledge.
Being Chinese, Marcella is a fan of Astrology and related matters. Some weeks ago we looked up my birth year and determined that in Chinese astrology I am a Dragon. Marcella is a Rat from her birth year and it seems that the best of all possible compatibility matches is a Dragon and a Rat. We also did the same for our Western birth signs Virgo and Pisces – with the same result. That pleased us both greatly…..
We have become totally besotted with each other and can’t bear to be apart. We intend to spend the rest of our lives together and we are very very happy. It seems as if each of us is the person that the other has dreamed of meeting – but has only finally met and each has fallen totally in love with, quite late in life. We did not expect this to happen as we are both mature people – but we had kept an open mind.……. We have both said to each other more than once that it feels too good to be true and it’s really scary – especially the speed with which our relationship has developed ……….. But we are both very confident that we will make it work – it is already working wonderfully well. I am still pinching myself to make sure I am awake and not dreaming!!
As a jazz musician I can and do quote from many romantic songs to express my feelings for Marcella and none expresses them and the way of our meeting better than the words of an old Standard, that I emailed to her recently, called You Stepped out of a Dream. The words go like this……………..
Stepped out of a dream,
Are you too wonderful
To be what you seem?
Could there be eyes like yours?
Could there be lips like yours?
Could there be smiles like yours,
Honest and truly?
Stepped out of a cloud,
I want to take you away
Away from the crowd,
And have you all to myself,
Alone and apart.
Out of a dream……….Safe into my heart.
This is our story and we hope you like it.
Thank you Plenty More Fish for our blissful happiness, without your site we would never have met.
With love from Marcella and Jake x