As if breaking up wasn’t hard enough already, divorcing or separating after many years can feel devastating and the thought of ever loving someone else may seem impossible at first. Most people will experience a sense of grief and go through these 5 stages. They are:
- Denial and isolation
So how do you know if you are ready to get back out there and start dating again? Here are a few things that you should consider before you get back on that proverbial dating horse:
Accept that it’s over
Seems like an obvious one but this is a vital step helping you be open for something new. First, make sure you’ve come to terms with your marriage/relationship being over and that you have accepted it. Reaching this stage can take a long time – sometimes years – so be patient and allow yourself to heal first.
The ex is dating again
Remember that acceptance we’ve just mentioned? That resolve can be tested when you see your ex with someone new for the first time. Be prepared for this to trigger emotions you thought you’d dealt with. Seeing him/her with another partner can really hurt and trigger feelings of jealousy and undo all the positive steps you’ve taken since the breakup. At this point, it is important to remember that it’s ok to feel those emotions but not allow them to overwhelm you. Remembering that you and your ex may be at different stages in life will help you remain objective. And that you both deserve to be happy – even if it’s with someone else.
Meeting the kids
Sit down with your children and talk to them about this step waaay before you start dating again. Especially if your kids are older. Helping them navigate their own grieving process will allow the family to heal as a whole before they reach the stage of acceptance. So be gentle and give them time to get used to the idea of you dating again. Just don’t put it off altogether – you too deserve to be happy!
Begin to redefine who you are outside of the marriage/relationship by spending quality time on your own. Take yourself out to dinner or the cinema. You’ve always wanted to try Salsa dancing but your partner did not? Go and do that! By rebuilding your own sense of identity you’ll get your confidence back and will begin to see all the exciting opportunities out there.
As they say, “Time is the wisest counsellor of all.” I think we can agree that taking time out from dating after a breakup is a good strategy. One way to find out if the time is right to dip your toe in that dating pond again is to try visualising yourself with someone else. If you feel a sense of excitement – great – you are ready! If however, you struggle to do that, it’s safe to say you need a bit more time and space until you can. It’s ok to take as much time as you need!
If you’re a member of the Naughty Pond, you’ll know that hot and sexy messages are a given! (If you aren’t already a member of Plenty More Naughty Fish – click here to join!) Sending and receiving sexts and naughty messages is one of the most fun parts of adult dating. The excitement of sending a dirty message to someone new that you fancy and the anticipation of their response is almost too much to bear and it often gets you hot under the collar!
We have some tips to help you send the sexiest messages in the Naughty Pond and start your naughty dating journey off with a bang – and end it with many bangs – pun intended!
- Just go with it! It’s a simple one but it’s one we find ourselves saying over and over again! Naughty dating might be alien to you but it also might be the most fun you’ve had online dating before! Relax into it and know that you might receive naughty messages from likely matches and, well, some not-so-likely matches. In adult dating, it’s a great way to meet people and find out more about them!
- Tease! Anticipation within adult dating and naughty dating is one of the most powerful tools you’ll have! Being a naughty tease in your sexy messages could separate the weak from the chaff and could also open your eyes to your own kinks! Tease your match with details on what you’re going to do when you finally meet in real life; tease them about what you’re doing tonight and what you wish they’d do to you! Get hot and heavy and love every second of it!
- Send sexy pictures – it doesn’t have to be anything too incriminating. If you really trust the person you are exchanging sexy messages with then why not give them a small glimpse of what they’ve got to come!
- Leave them wanting more… there’s always a small win in leaving people wanting more! Keep some things a secret until you meet in real life but keep it light and fun too! Send messages like “guess what I’m wearing right now…” and then wait for ten minutes once they’ve replied – their minds will be going wild while you’re holding them to ransom!
- Flirt and be suggestive. It sounds simple but no one wants to send sexy messages to then receive on moaning about their ex or the kids not being in bed yet. Embrace the naughtiness and flirt – loosen up your inhibitions and enjoy this new naughty side of yourself! Naughty dating is supposed to be fun but most importantly it’s supposed to get your heart racing!
Let us know how you do with our tips and if you have any tips that never fail to work!
Join the naughty pond now to start naughty messaging now.
A friend of mine said the other day: “Women are complicated beings. They never say what they really mean. Why is that?”
It’s a very good question and I’m sure he’s not the only guy out there struggling to decipher girl code. Essentially women’s way of communication are motivated differently. They care about other’s opinions and their feelings. They are consensus-driven, which is why we are often not as direct in our responses.
Now let’s take a look at the five most commonly used phrases and decode them for you:
Okay, you probably know by now that when a woman says these two words, it usually means she’s frustrated or upset with something or someone and all she really wants is to be listened to. The easiest way to deal with this is to calmly ask what really bothers her. Say something like, “I sense you are not happy. Tell me what’s bothering you and help me understand.” Knowing when your girl is upset means you care, and talking to her about it will only earn you bonus points.
“I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”
Whatever you do, don’t take this statement at face value. You’ll need to read her body language here. She probably did not say this with a big smile on her face as she kissed you goodbye and took off to do her own thing, did she? This statement is usually expressed when the boyfriend decides he doesn’t want to spend time with her but do something else instead. The uncoded version of this statement is: “You don’t care about me and don’t want to spend time with me.” Deal with this in a sensitive manner. If you committed to spending time with her, it’s important to honour that commitment. If you have to change your plans due to unforeseen circumstances, tell her you are sorry and you will make it up to her. Then follow through with it. She will see you are considered and that she’s important to you.
“Do I look fat?” or “Do I look ugly?”
Here’s the decoded version: “I could use a compliment.”
Many women suffer from insecurities and the simple solution to this is genuine compliments from the man she cares about. It doesn’t take much effort, so go for it. All she needs at that moment is for someone else to make her feel special and remind her that she’s beautiful. Pick your favourite things about her and tell her. Feeling inadequate physically can be draining for a woman in today’s world and can seep into other aspects of her life. Stop these crummy feelings before they have a chance to grow, and don’t forget to make your woman feel like a goddess from time to time.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
This one can be tricky because sometimes it really is true. Women just need time to really think about why they are upset about something before they can talk to others about it. If she means it, then she will give you both some space and let you know when she is ready to talk. Until then, don’t push her.
However, when your girlfriend is telling a bit of a fib, you need to encourage her to talk. You can usually tell the difference in the tone of her voice. If she is relatively calm and speaking in normal tones, then give her space. But if the tension is palpable, then get in there and talk to her. Stewing over your problems is not going to help her attitude about the situation later, so the best course of action is to address how she feels immediately. Talking things out is part of how many women deal with all sorts of problems, and you need to be a part of the discussion. Ask yourself this: Do I want her to talk to me about our problems or someone else who doesn’t know the whole story? The answer should be obvious.
“I don’t need you.”
A woman might say this to her man when they are fighting and she feels vulnerable. Guys, what she really means is that she does need you, but she’s afraid you’re slipping away. There is a lot of pressure on women these days to not be so emotional or to prove they are as capable as men. But the bottom line is that women have feelings — deep feelings — that can make them feel very vulnerable when things aren’t going quite right. “I don’t need you” means your lady is trying to convince herself she’ll be okay if she ends up losing you. The truth is she’s really hurting inside.
Comfort her. Reassure her that you aren’t going anywhere. Even if you are boiling mad or trying to convince yourself of the same thing, try to take a breath and talk calmly about what is happening. You will make this moment easier on her and on yourself. Address how she honestly feels, and make it clear that you both need each other. Communication is the key.
Gentlemen, the takeaway here is that your girlfriends are not out to get you or punish you for obscure reasons. If your girl isn’t saying what she really means, then you are going to have to listen and give her a reason to trust you with the truth. Knowing that you care will be enough to get her to open up.
For better or for worse, following this advice will crack the girl code in your relationships.
Now, spread the word to your bros and find the truth behind her words!
Autumn has arrived in a flurry and your nights of meeting sexy singles on long sunny days out and hooking up from beer garden acquaintances are no more – until next summer! The sun is gone, replaced by the rain, the wind and the desire to stay inside! Autumn can be beautiful but it can also put a massive dampener on your sex life!
Enter Plenty More Naughty Fish – jump into the naughty pond this autumn and you could soon be hooking up with naughty singles who want no strings attached fun, naughty encounters and one night stands! Joining the Naughty Pond means you’ll be going for no strings attached dating with complete ease. You can match, chat and flirt from the comfort of your room. You can watch the rain batter your windows as you plan sexy date nights and hot hookups. You can take your naughty dates on the go with your phone, tablet or laptop and there’s never been a better season to join the naughty pond!
Once you find one or two sexy singles who want nothing but casual fun and hookups, you can plan sexy meets and opportunities to get down and dirty!
The rain outside means there’s no bar hopping or restaurant choosing. You can take it back to basics by and really strip things back – literally!
Why not plan a dirty date night at home, avoiding the rain and wind while getting each other’s juices flowing? You could keep things casual with a film on in the background, a nice glass of wine and then making a pillow fort in the living room. You could play strip poker or play anything that will get you both naked as soon as possible!
Naughty adult dating doesn’t have to be boring – you could have a no clothes in the bedroom rule – as soon as either of you enters the room you’ll need to strip – that’ll get pulses racing!
If the weather calms down you could plan an evening out in a bar with live music and plenty of naughty corners. You could listen to your favourite tunes, dirty dance together and hide away in the hidden crevices where no one can see what you’re up to!
You could take the night home with chips and a kebab and experiment with food in the bedroom!
Talking of food… why not plan a date on the sofa with all of your favourite foods – to eat off of each other? You won’t be able to watch the film while watching each other slather yourselves in hot chocolate, raspberry sauce and more!
Autumn and naughty dating can go hand in hand! There’s no better time to take things home and get better acquainted! Skip the boring date, the meaningless chat and get straight to business together in the comfort of your own homes!
Jump in the Naughty Pond this autumn by joining Plenty More Naughty Fish now!
So, you’ve been dating for several months and things are going really well between you. You’ve even had ‘the Talk’, are exclusive and happily floating on cloud 9.
On a night out you and beloved take smoochie selfies and just as you are ready to type the caption and share it on your Insta you stop, asking yourself if it’s okay to make it ‘online official’.
It seems that switching your online status from ‘dating’ to ‘in a relationship’ has people all frazzled and many worry it comes with too many complications and only adds pressure to the relationship.
Some say it’s time “when you both agree it’s ok” whilst others are firmly in the “it’s nobody’s business” camp.
A survey by Jewelers F. Hinds only 32% of people would remove their dating profiles to confirm a relationship.
We think it all depends on the couple. It’s important that you both feel ready to declare it to the World (or not). So talk about it before taking this step.
Even if it doesn’t work out and you’re back to changing your status to ‘single’ – it is really that important to you what other people think?
What do you think? Cast your vote below
Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash
So, you’ve scored! You’re on a date with a sexy single that you’ve met online and you know lots about them and their naughty side – winner! But, dating isn’t always just straight to the bedroom; sure you might have met and matched on Plenty More Naughty Fish or another casual, no-strings-attached dating site, but there’s more to it than just racing to the bedroom!
You’ll know that getting to know each other’s kinks before you get between the sheets can make not only your relationship but your sex life better. That’s very important! You’re hot-blooded, you have needs but it’s important to ask the right questions on your naughty date – then enjoy opening Pandora’s Box in the bedroom!
So, what questions should you ask?
Get to know your sexy suitor without being pushy or too forward; be open yourself and get them to reveal things about them that will help your relationship grow on a deeper level. Try some of these:
- What’s your biggest turn on?
- Is there a sexy scene from a movie we can recreate?
- What’s your sexual fantasy?
- Do you like playing dress-up?
- What’s the furthest you’ve gone on a first date?
- Do you keep toys in the bedroom?
- Where is a public place you’d get down and dirty in?
- Do you like sexting?
- Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
- Have you ever played strip poker?
With these questions, you could be getting hot under the collar in no time and getting to know each other on a deeper and more intimate level!
What else would you ask someone on a naughty date? Your fun in the Naughty Pond has just begun! Jump in and enjoy naughty hookups now!
To join the Naughty Pond click here!
Photo by Jan Zhukov on Unsplash
Long gone are the days where people thought being on a dating website was for weirdoes.
Online dating is now a key part in today’s dating culture, and it’s actually one of the most successful and efficient ways to meet someone special. But most people just don’t know how to unlock this opportunity.
So here are our top 5 tips on how to make it easier to find love online.
- Be yourself
It can be so tempting to exaggerate or embellish your traits to help find a date but it’s important that you are honest on your dating profile (and IRL obv). Saying you are 6’1 when you are 5’5 may not seem like a big fib to you but your date might feel like they’ve been deceived. Stay honest and real and the right person will find you.
- Go on dates
It seems like an obvious one but it bears repeating – the more dates you go on the bigger the chances you will click with someone in real life. When looking for a new job you wouldn’t say no to turning up for an interview and expecting to get the job, would you? If you are serious about finding that special someone you’ll have to go out to find him or her. No hiding behind a computer screen!
- Stay optimistic
It can be really disheartening when you’ve been single for a while and feel like you’re the only person on Earth still left without a partner. To take the pressure off, focus on making a new friend rather than meeting the love of your life. This may seem weird at first, but if you’re too focused on ‘The One’ it may blind you to the possibilities out there. Most of the time it’s our own expectations that get in the way of connecting with the people around us. Go easy on yourself and your date!
- Check your dating profile
Coming back to point 1 (being honest) when was the last time you’ve checked in on your own dating profile. Are you honest about yourself? How old are your images? Sprucing up your dating profile can really boost your dating game. Check out our post on DATING PROFILE MISTAKES WOMEN HATE for some dating profile tips (also relevant for the ladies!) If in doubt, ask a straight-talking friend to check over your profile and give you some tips.
- Before you meet in person, have a phone convo
We know in today’s world having an actual phone may seem like your dating in the 90s but trust us when we say this should be the first step before you meet a date in person – no matter how much you liked them online. A phone call will give plenty of time to check if you have chemistry. After all, if you can’t talk over the phone, you are not likely to have much to say to each other in real life.
Ready to find singles in your area? Join Plentymorefish free today.
So, you’ve found a naughty single in the Naughty Pond and you are in heaven! They are flirty, open and there are naughty messages flying around all over the place! You’ve never felt this excited about someone new and the thought of meeting and taking your naughty fling to the next level is almost too much for you… but how do you bridge that gap between online naughty dating and real-life sexy dating?
You might think that the mystique and suspense of online romance and naughtiness can’t be translated into real-life face to face flings but you can jump into the Naughty Pond easily with these tips!
Plan your meeting to be somewhere public and open. Even though you’ve been plenty more naughty dating together, potentially egging each other and riling each other up online, you may not want to jump straight in the sack as soon as you lay eyes on each other. It’s always best to plan to meet in a public, open space just in case you get cold feet. This means that you can take your time chatting, checking each other out in real life and deciding where you should go next.
The naughty pond is filled with sexy singles but you need to make sure the one you have hooked is the right one for you – so don’t rush it! If your sexy date wants to go for dinner and drinks don’t rush them into the bedroom – let’s face it, nothing good ever happens in the bedroom that’s rushed and overall too quick! Take your time getting to know each other and enjoy the real-life factor.
Don’t have expectations that are too high. We get it, you’ve been flirting, winking and sexting with this single for ages now, your relationship is more than just an online fling by now. But it can be easier to be brave from behind a screen. The naughty single that you’ve fallen for while online dating could be more reserved in real life – and that’s ok! The seriously raunchy level to them is still in there, the fun will be in patiently unravelling it together!
Be patient. Patience, as they say, is a virtue. Usually, the best sexual encounters come from being made to wait… it’s torture but it’s the best pain you’ll ever feel in the bedroom. Your real-life date will be much the same. The chit chat and flirty glances could feel like foreplay and the dinner and drinks could get you hot under the collar – if you’re patient enough you could score the whole nine yards – and wouldn’t it be worth it?!
Be naughty! This one is a no-brainer! You have found your naughty match and you won’t be looking for plenty more fish again for a while, you’ve hooked a winner and you’re planning on taking it home to baste, oil up and cook. Your naughtiness could be matched with your new fling and once the introductions and dates are out of the way, it can be time to dive into the naughtiness and get down and dirty together! You can finally do everything you’ve been talking about and I bet it’ll feel like a huge relief – and then it’ll be time to do it all over again!
Be safe. It’s 2019, it doesn’t need to be said at the top of our voices. Casual sex and hookups are a thing of our time and it’s cool. But remember to be safe, take protection and look after yourself over anyone else! It’s simple, it’s effective and let’s be honest, it saves a whole lot of headache!
If you want more time in the Naughty Pond, hit this link to join Plenty More Naughty Fish!
We spent a lot of time online. A.LOT.OF.TIME. So we can confidently say we’ve seen our fair share of men’s dating profiles. Some good, some amazing, and some…well, let’s just say there’s room for improvement. Sorry, lads – we have to call it. It’s always surprising when someone looking for love doesn’t seem to put any effort into creating at least a ‘decent-ish’ dating profile.
So from a female perspective here are the biggest dating profile turn-offs.
We get it – you like your friends. But if your dating profile comprises of mostly group shots you are turning it into a game of “Where’s Wally”. Worse yet, looking at you in group shots with other ladies. What exactly are you telling a potential date? She won’t know if the other woman in the pic is your ex or your sis, and as soon as confusion sets in, she’ll be on to the next profile. Make it easy for her to see whose profile she’s looking at.
Sex doesn’t sell
That’s right, Gentlemen, your abs may be harder than the surface of our office desk but we really don’t want to see them in your dating profile. Whilst we can all appreciate a bit of eye candy, that’s what Instagram is for. Your dating profile isn’t a place to hawk the goods unless you’re after a no-strings-attached-date, in which case check out our Naughty Pond. If you are looking for a relationship, add photos of you in well-fitting clothes that compliment your nice physique. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would show that pic to your Nan.
If I could turn back time
That ‘used by date’ applies to images too, or at least it should. Any images of you that are older than your mobile phone should not make it onto your dating profile. How would you feel if your date shows up to a dinner date having suddenly aged 20 years? It’s not a great way to start off! The same applies to fibbing about your age, height, hobbies, anything really – just be honest, please.
Let’s face it
Your profile pic should not make you look like you ought to be on Crime Watch. We cannot tell you how many photos we’ve seen taken by low light, with a shadowy figure staring down into a webcam. It’s simply creepy af and is not going to get you dates. Instead, go for images taken in natural daylight. Ask a trusted friend and head to the garden or the park and take a few pictures – preferably headshots. So – you know – she can see your actual face!
Gents, if any the above describes your dating profile, we hope you take our well-intentioned advice and put some effort into updating it. We really want you to find that special someone. So start with your dating profile and put your best (virtual) foot forward.
Ready to find new singles in your area? Set up your free dating profile with www.plentymorefish.com and start chatting to other singles today.
It’s not always easy to find something to do with your date – especially as the days get shorter. Dinner and a movie are safe and boring. But don’t worry, we got you covered. Why not try one of our favourite dating ideas?
Cream of the crop
One of our favourite dating activities at this time of year is visiting a Harvest Festival. With a huge variety of different festivals happening each week across the country – especially if you are a foodie. Each festival has a different way to celebrate autumn, from gin and pie tasting to craft demonstrations and foraging tours – there’s something for everyone. Check out Country File’s favourite harvest festivals for some inspiration or browse the net for a local listing near you.
Autumn is undoubtedly the best season to get out and take some photographs. You and your date can take some really creative and Insta-worthy shots of each other with minimal effort or equipment. Not only will you have tons of fun but you’ll also create lasting memories. #relationshipgoals
Go Go Glamping
As it gets colder it’s also a great time to cosy up. Whilst booking a hotel is nice, it’s also a tad snooze-worthy. But rather than go full-on Bear Grylls on your lover, consider the unusual options of glamping. Stay in a safari tent or a treehouse for a weekend out of the ordinary but with most of the creature comforts. Certainly beats a boring hotel room, right? To get inspired visit Canopy & Stars.
Après-Ciate the slopes
This is for the sporty couples among you. If you haven’t tried skiing yet, you’re missing out on a whole lot of fun. To get started, book some time on an indoor ski slope (just Google ‘ski slopes near me’). Impress your date with your graceful – or not so graceful – moves. And who knows? You might end up booking a winter ski break for two.
Cook up some magic
Cookery classes are as varied as there are culinary tastes. Whether you are an accomplished hobby chef or barely manage not to burn the toast, you’ll be spoilt for choice. And what’s not to like? You get to work together as a team preparing, cooking – and importantly – eating a meal. I mean, food! Right? Regardless of how the meal turns out, you might just learn a thing or two about cooking – or your date!
If you got it, haunt it!
Strong emotions – such as fear – are known to make someone more attractive, so our next idea is set to bring you close than ever – muhahaha! Check out Haunted Happenings for a hooooge offering of mystery and spookiness. Stay at a Haunted Inn or go on a fully-fledged ghost hunt a la Scooby-Doo. Whatever you decide to go with, this type of date activity is guaranteed to send tingles up your spine. We’ll leave it up to you to find out if that’s a good thing or not.
Need a date? Check out Plentymorefish.com where thousands of singles are looking for love.