The first association people make with BDSM is Fifty Shades of Grey. The truth is Mr Grey is considered rather cringeworthy within the BDSM community. It is in fact completely different to how people perceive the kink. To give people a better idea of what it is, we’ve decided to do some research for you and debunk some myths surrounding BDSM.
The term ‘BDSM’ is short for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. A big thing to address, is that it doesn’t have to involve sex at all, neither does it have to involve whips and chains, like movies and porn make it out to be. The important thing to remember is that ensuring that both you and your lover are comfortable at all times during BDSM, for this reason we recommend avoiding taking part in this after you’ve consumed alcohol or drugs.
Communication is a key part of BDSM, talking to each other about what you both would like to try helps to create a comfortable, fun environment. Putting safe words in place can help with this. Stay away from a simple yes/no, as you may be in roles where you have to use these words during intimacy. The BDSM community use two acronyms about safety; SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink.) Don’t rush the moment, have fun with it and enjoy it by taking your time. It not only reassures your lover, but it also is a way to tease them to an even greater excitement. You have to remember if you want to divulge into BDSM, you are looking to have fun with your sexual desires, so it’s best to be relaxed around your partner and always be respectful.
Another thing to consider is starting off small and simple, you don’t need to buy a whole sex shop of toys to experiment with. Try starting off with sensory deprivation, you can purchase some restraints (Leather or Neoprene are the comfiest) or a blindfold. Trying each component on its own will give you a better idea of what your sexual preferences are, too much too soon can be rather overwhelming.
Bondage and Discipline
The first part of BDSM focuses on using toys as a way to control your lover. Discipline relates to both the physical and mental aspects of intimacy, these could be spanking with a hand, or denying/prolonging an orgasm (otherwise known as edging). By controlling it, it can give your partner a more intense, toe curling orgasm. Blindfolds also count as bondage and if you’re using restraints as a beginner, lightweight cuffs are the best choice.
If you’re using whips it is important to practice flogging before trying it on your lover. The key is to aim for the butt/back of the thighs as they have the most flesh on the body. It should be pointed out that whilst flogging, you should avoid organs or vulnerable flesh. When practicing flogging with longer whips it’s a good idea to try it on a pillow first so that you can practice your aim.
Dominance and Submission
This part of BDSM doesn’t have to necessarily involve Bondage and Discipline. It typically involves mental restraint and power games which can be arousing for yourself or your partner.
A dominant sexual partner will be typically known as a ‘top’, they are the ones who control the submissive by using power. They dish out any physical sexual acts like spanking, bondage, clamping or whipping. Although they are typically known as tops, they could also be the bottom in some cases, by demanding the top to perform certain acts.
A submissive sexual partner has to be in a position of trust and learning. They essentially give the power to their mind and body away to their partner, allowing them to take control. As a submissive you should always expect a level of balance in terms of your sexual boundaries and you should not be expected to exceed them. A submissive lover may not always appear as a quiet individual outside of the bedroom, it is common for confident and socially dominant individuals to act on their submissive fantasies in the bedroom.
The main thing to remember is to communicate clear boundaries so you can both have safe fun.
Find other open minded and fun-loving singles over on Plentymore Naughty Fish for adult, no-strings sexy dating.
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and for many there is little sense of romance in the air. Figuring out ways of making the day as romantic as possible whilst in Lockdown can be a struggle for most but we’ve got you covered. You don’t have to splash the cash to make Valentines special. Let us help you inspire your romantic side with some simple ideas to make the day just as memorable.
Video Call Cooking
If you’re currently not living with your partner, then this could be a fun activity to do together over a video call. Get in contact with local restaurants or simply search for a recipe you both enjoy and get cooking.
If you live close by, go on a socially distanced romantic walk, grab a coffee, put on your walking boots, and plan your route. No phones, just the two of you. This is a great way to get to know the person you’re dating better and to distract yourself from reality for a little while.
Bring the Bar to Your Home
Lots of companies are setting up virtual cocktail classes or wine tastings, you just buy a ticket and they send the kit out to you. The best thing about it is, you could participate in your dressing gown if you fancied it and it’s not too far to stumble to your bedroom.
Mr and Mrs Quiz
We’ve all heard of Mr and Mrs, the ultimate quiz to test your partner. There are plenty of similar games/quizzes out there to get to know your date better. For those who don’t do romance it can be a light-hearted game to see if your date really does listen to you.
It’s a simplistic idea which can be made much better with a bowl of your favourite treats, a bottle of wine and some blankets to cosy up with. Plan with enough time so both you and your partner get to pick a film each, it saves the endless scrolling trying to find something you both enjoy.
Spa Day at Home
There’s nothing better than a trip to the spa, you don’t have to have the massage table to make your home into a mini spa-day for you and your boo. Grab some face masks, light some candles, and pop some music on. Maybe even spice your spa day up a little and have a dip in the bath together.
Plan the future
Is there something you both really want to do after restrictions are lifted? Make a list together and have it as a unique bucket list for you both. If your priorities are travelling, search for places you both want to travel to, hotels you’d like to stay at etc. If your priorities are to do with your home, begin looking for your inspiration. Once you’ve completed your list, stick it somewhere you and your partner will always see it, so that you can be reminded, and it can be a form of motivation for you as a couple.
If you are still looking for that special someone check out Plentymorefish.com.
Sexting – the modern equivalent to foreplay.
If you’d like to add a little sauce to your sausage then read our do’s and don’ts of sexting to help you get started and have your date wanting for your next hookup.
DO recognise less is more
No one wants to read a Shakespeare novel. That’s not sexy. Keeping it short and sweet gives you the opportunity to tease them whilst they’re going about their busy day, in between meetings or running errands. Who doesn’t like the idea of planting a smirk on their lover’s face whilst they’re having lunch with their boss?
DON’T sext someone who you don’t trust implicitly
Regardless of who they are, if you don’t fully trust them, do not sext them. Unfortunately, it only takes two minutes for someone to share an image or screenshot a conversation so make sure that you can completely trust the other party.
DO secure the phone with a password and delete messages
If you want to spice up things and sext at work then ensure that your message previews aren’t on, you want those messages to be kept a secret, not spotted by a colleague glancing at your phone. Putting a password on your phone gives you an extra blanket of security whilst sexting. This is especially important if you have children, as they tend to be quite tech-savvy.
DON’T put your face in any naked pictures
Naked pictures with your face in are a big no-no. With technology this day and age it is so easy for pictures to be sent between people, so it’s better to be cautious and to protect your identity by ensuring that any photos that are sent can’t be traced back to you.
DO tidy background before sending any photos
Before sending anything, look at the background you’re about to use. A clean and simple background to your photo will allow someone to be completely focused on you and not your laundry pile.
DON’T expect anything from sexting to happen in person
Sexting gives you an opportunity to express your fantasies. Being behind a phone screen gives people far more confidence than sitting across the table so ease your expectations if you’re heading into the bedroom.
DO answer promptly
Waiting hours to reply to your friend-with-benefits is the recipe for disaster. If you want to participate in sexting, then you want to reply as soon as you see the message and make time for the conversation. That confidence and sexiness that they are feeling will not last for hours, so make the most of it. Setting some ground rules may also be a good idea.
DON’T sext whilst you’re drunk
We’ve all had those moments where we’ve woken up the day after a heavy night and dreaded looking at our phones. Sexting whilst drunk allows more opportunity for embarrassing messages or pictures to be sent, so spare yourself the anxious feelings in the morning and try to avoid sending anything sexy after a few drinks.
DON’T give a one word response
Although no one wants to see a novelist response to a naughty photo, a one worded response does not suffice. Giving one word answers makes you seem less invested in the conversation and your date will quickly get bored or lose interest.
The key point to remember is to have fun whilst sexting and not take it too seriously, it’s ok to laugh and feel silly about it. Don’t rush it, the anticipation is the exciting part but allow it to be an opportunity to spice things up in the bedroom and express some of your fantasies.
Still looking for adventurous and open-minded singles? You can find them over on Plentymorefish Naughty Dating.
You have been dating for a few weeks now and things are going really well. Awesome! But Christmas is right around the corner and you are stuck with the decision on whether to buy your new love a prezzie or not, and if so, what.
Buying a gift this early on in a relationship could come across as moving too fast, whereas not giving one could portray you as Scrooge’s second cousin twice removed. But before you hop on the next power sleigh towards the North Pole, let us help you with 3 gift ideas which are guaranteed to spread festive cheer without screaming ‘I think you are the one!’ (unless he/she is, then I’d still advise you to wait a couple more weeks before you propose…but we digress). Here we go:
Gifts for her:
1. Spa Treatment
Women love to be pampered so a voucher to a nice spa weekend for the two of you is bang on. The best ones offer a choice of treatments such as a mani / pedi, back massage or facial. However, weekend packages can be expensive, so either shop around or simply book some treatments at a local beauty salon. Staff can advise you which package is best.
2. Day Out Voucher
Treat her to a trip somewhere she has not been before or a place she loves and take a look at the sights. Round it off with a nice dinner and remember to take the camera for plenty of piccies for your second gift, a photo book, which will make a thoughtful keepsake. Add some creativity and make it fun, but don’t spoil the second surprise. 😉
3. Spoil Her Night
You can create a magical evening by treating her like a queen all night. Run a bath with and pour in essential oils (like relaxing lavender) and light scented candles to set the mood. Treat her to her favourite meal, rent good movie, really go all out to spoil her and make her feel special. Use your creativity, she’s guaranteed to love it! Just remember, this is not about you, so no ulterior motives gents!
Gifts for him:
The classic, yet fail-proof option. Casually ask him about his favourite brands or better, check with friends. If you aren’t prepared to fork out £30 – £60 for an aftershave, just go for the body spray option of the same brand. Best bit, your man will smell edible and who knows where that might lead?
2. Magazine / Comic Subscription
I have yet to encounter a man without a passion for something, be it technology, economy, comic books, music or trains and you are guaranteed to find a matching magazine. Most publications offer subscriptions from 3 months up to a year. If you aren’t sure, what he is into, ask his best friend or a family member.
3. Experience Day
Whether he’s into sports, the outdoors or sampling a good ale down the pub, a day centred all around him and his interests is sure to impress and gives him an opportunity to show off in front of you.
Right then, better get ordering now folks!
Christmas kisses from us all at Plentymorefish.com!
Aphrodisiacs have been used for hundreds of years as part of the seduction due to their stimulating effects on the body and food is a great way to captivate the senses leaving you and your date hungry for the carnal dessert.
To help you out, we’ve compiled a list of dishes we think will hit the spot and have you fuelled up and ready for your next love-a-thon. Bon Appétit!
To set the mood you’ll have to start with something boozy – naturally. As we all know alcohol can make you feel more relaxed and lower your inhibitions. So mix up this Pink Pussy Cocktail which is sure to spread all sorts of warm feelings down in your nether regions.
Legend has it that eating a fresh fig while naked in front of a woman is one of the world’s most erotic acts. As the story goes, when a fig is split and held in your palm, the pink flesh is said to resemble a woman’s honeypot, making these honey-roasted figs with limoncello crème fraîche a super sexy way to start a meal.
According to studies, steak could boost female arousal as it increases levels dopamine and norepinephrine. Steaks are also packed full of zinc, making them a potential aphrodisiac for men as well which is why we picked this Steak & sticky red wine shallots recipe for our main course.
If you or your lover are veggie/vegan you can’t go wrong with this Vegan Mushroom and Asparagus Risotto. Mushrooms are bursting with minerals such as zinc, potassium, magnesium, copper to name but a few. Zinc is crucial to blood flow and without that you’ll have trouble climaxing. If this isn’t a great incentive to eat your veggies, we don’t know what is.
No meal would be complete without a dessert and this scrumptious plate of Rose Syllabub Sugared Strawberries is going to create your culinary climax. The Romans revered these little heart shaped fruits as a symbol of Venus, the Goddess of love, sex and beauty. And in the French countryside, there was once a tradition of serving newlyweds cold strawberry soup to help promote the aphrodisiac of honeymoon romance. Oh là là!
Now all that’s left is to get cracking in the kitchen while only wearing an apron… yum yum.
If you are looking for an adventurous single to share sensual sexcapades look no further than our Naughty Pond.
Does the idea of a naughty roll in the hay leave you feeling a bit ‘meh’ these days? Maybe you are having a bit of a dry spell or you haven’t been feeling like the hungry sex kitten that you are. If that’s the case, it’s time to take action! Here are 5 ways to get yourself out of that funk and back on top (or under) of your next conquest.
Getting your sexy back takes a little effort but it will be ‘oh yes’ so worth it. Reconnect with your body, fantasies and desires. Here are our top 5 tips to get you all hot and bothered again.
Slip into something sexy
Been living in your yoga pants lately? We get it, comfort is life, but we’re here to get your libido purring again so it’s time to slip into something with a bit more ‘MEOW’. Whilst you don’t have to don the fishnets and heels every night, update your wardrobe with a few items that make you feel sexy for when you’re just relaxing. Perhaps something silky or a cute babydoll assemble to make you feel all naughty and girly.
The mind is your biggest sex organ so put it to good use. Try thinking about the last time you had really great sex or fantasise about new and exciting scenarios. Really visualise the erotic encounter in your head and you’re guaranteed to whet your appetite for more. Think about what makes you feel sexy and discover yourself during pleasure play.
Watch a sensual movie
We’re visual beings so why not feast your eyes on something or someone sexy? Watch a movie with your favourite thirst trap or grab an erotic novel and delve into a sensual fantasy world of lust and desire. Feast your eyes, take it all in and feel that carnal desire reawaken inside of you.
Touch your skin
Take a shower and luxuriate in a bit of pampering, take the time to massage your skin with a sweet-smelling lotion, give yourself a neck rub to relax. Caress your skin for a few minutes each day using a soft brush, rounding your curves, making your skin tingle with anticipation of what’s to come.
Set the scene
Kids toys, dirty dishes and a pile of laundry are total passion killers. Book a babysitter or ask the grandparents to take the kids out for the day. Next create a sexy sanctuary for you and your hot lover. Have an adult-only zone full of things that serve to ignite your passion. We’re thinking silk ties and candle wax. Then it’s time to dive into your love nest and have some grown up time.
There are many ways to make you feel sexy and rediscover your joy for sex. Hopefully, these tips will help to make you feel excited about living out your lusty thoughts! Time to get down and dirty again.
Still looking for a willing partner to join your sexcapades? Check out our naughty dating pond for open-minded and always horny singles.
Let’s be honest, the dating pond is a vast ocean of opportunities and potential matches. It makes sense that you cast your net wide to increase your chances for reeling in the best catch and dating several people at once is simply being efficient.
Even so, seeing more than one person at any one time is a bit of a juggling act and before we share our tips on how make that easier, it’s worth giving some context. When we refer to ‘dating’ we mean ‘looking for a long-term relationship’ not ‘hooking up’ (that’s what our naughty pond is for). 😈
#1 Be honest
Since we all agree that dating more than one person is a good thing, keeping it hidden from the people you are seeing is not. Telling your dates that you are meeting other people is the mature and decent thing to do. Some of you may protest that it might scare some potential dates away. Yes, that may happen, but if someone is put off by that, they are clearly not on the same page and are probably not a suitable match.
#2 Keep it small
As with other things in life, if we take on too much it becomes a struggle. It’s better to date 5 people than 10 for the simple reason that dating can be tiring. It’s also a good idea to spread out your date over several days and give yourself time to reflect and, you know, have a life. You’ll want to be your best self when looking for that special someone so make sure you don’t overdo the dating.
#3 No Ghosting
When you’ve started to realise that it’s not going to work out with one of your dates, please don’t just ghost them. Be fair and tell him/her that it’s not going to go anywhere and let them down gently. Likewise, if you’re getting serious with someone, it’s time to share that you’re off the market. We all deserve to be treated respectfully.
#4 Be Curious
Really push the boat out and increase your odds of finding love by dating a variety of people. Pick someone you wouldn’t normally go out with. Granted, it may be a bit out of your comfort zone but as the old saying goes, ‘opposites attract’. Or they surprise you and you’ll realise you have more in common than you thought. You won’t know until you’ve tried.
Ready to dive into the dating pool and get fishing for dates? Sign up for free today!
These days you are spoilt for choice when it comes to adult dating sites. A quick online search will reveal the options catering for all kinds of naughty singles. Not everyone is after the same thing though and when it comes to adult dating most of us want to get straight to business – pun intended. But how do you pick one that is right for you? Here are some tips:
One way to find one that might be for you is to get references. If you have friends that have used online adult dating sites, ask them about their experience. Find out what they liked about the site and what not. Decide based on their answers whether that site is for you but the only way you’ll know for sure is to give it a go for yourself.
Check out a few
The great thing with dating sites, and adult sites are no exception, is that you can try out several all at once and see which one you like best. Many are free to register, and most let you unlock additional paid-for features on a month by month basis.
Get stuck in
As the saying goes “you get out what you put in”, the same can be said for dating so get online and get involved. Spend a fair bit of time sprucing up your profile and make sure you add recent images. Start connecting rather than waiting to be approached. Just like regular dating, nobody is going to come knocking on your door unless they know that you are home and open to meeting new people. That is definitely the fun part, so jump in and find out who your horny neighbours are.
Test it out
Once you’ve started chatting you can discover if your matches are interested in the same turn-ons, kinks and fantasies. If you’re looking for ‘romance’ and ‘roses’ an adult dating site is probably not right for you.
What are you waiting for? Dive right into our Naughty Pond now and start discovering other frisky and willing singles looking for a steamy romp.
Whilst we may be a generation addicted to selfies and photos, it is safe to say that a well-written quality dating profile will help you stand out in the crowd and catch Mr or Miss Right. The thing is we’re just not very good at selling ourselves, it isn’t in our nature to ‘brag’ about our plus points but in reality this is exactly what you need to do in the world of online dating.
Even if you’re not a budding wordsmith, with a little thought and creativity you can create a knockout dating profile. Still need a guiding hand? Our top tips below will nudge you in the right direction.
Keep it short and sweet
Entice your date with just enough to peak their interest. Here are some good examples:
Sunday fun day 👍🏻 Sunday chill day 👎🏻
Snakes 😍 Moths 😱
Bike ✅ Car ⛔️
Pineapple on pizza > great combo (Perhaps we will be too?)
“She has funny toes.” – My best friend Clare
“Excellent gums. Definitely flosses regularly.” – Sara, my hygienist
“She’s cute, but she snores.” – My mother
“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.” – My ex (actually it was Captain Jack Sparrow in At World’s End but I’m sure my ex would agree)
Kids in your photos
Always a risky one as parents tend to keep their kids off the internet. However, if you are a single parent most of your pictures will contain your kids so a quick disclaimer about who that kid in your photo belongs to are appreciated, but not necessary.
Funny is good. Witty is better.
Unless you’re a natural comedian it will pay dividends to spend some time researching other profiles and taking inspiration from them. Be original and please don’t copy and paste from other profiles.
Must we really say it? Online dating is not the platform to promote your views on your views on mindfulness or inner peace, so please stay clear of inspirational quotes (unless you can turn them into something funny or use it as a topic of why you think it stinks).
I’m this tall…
Gents, refrain from adding your height to your dating bio. Whilst there may be shallow girls out there that open with this question, most of us are better than that!
Lads, contrary to what many of you (90%) may believe, posting shirtless pics can mean on average 25% fewer matches. More than half of the women who’ve been asked said that posting shirtless pics implies a lack of maturity and self-awareness.
Regardless of whether you’re a young professional or one of the many over 40’s daters, making the right first impression is key and a good dating bio can be a great way to introduce yourself.
If you’re looking for a potential date what are the things you look for in a good profile? We’d love for you to share with us your profile ‘deal breakers’.
When you’ve been in the dating pool a while and/or you’ve reached a certain age it’s very likely you’ll date someone who’s had a failed marriage or long-term relationship. But that doesn’t mean that person won’t be a great partner. There are, however, some warning signs to look out for when dating a divorced man.
Separated, not divorced
The first red flag is whether he describes himself as separated rather than divorced. Many women get sucked into a relationship (rebound anyone?) with a separated man, only to find out that he’s still married and actually working on his relationship or that he’s going to remain married, but still separated for the foreseeable future and he never has any plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, translate that into, ‘I’m not available for anything serious’.
Going too fast
The second warning sign is how fast he jumps into a very serious relationship. Oftentimes divorced men are only comfortable with relationships that become very serious, very quickly. They are putt off by the dating process of getting to know the other person and it’s important you slow things down. Even if he is keen to spend a lot of time with you or goes as far as suggesting moving in together, slowing down will give you both time to really get to know each other and see if you are actually compatible in the long run.
Having a negative attitude towards love or being emotionally unavailable is also a red flag. Granted, going through a divorce is one of the most traumatic things a person has to deal with, and it can leave that person bitter and closed off to love. So, if he’s still in a place where he can’t see himself to ever get married again – believe him. He’s not yet moved on and is still reeling from that experience. Let him go, he’s not ready.
Red flag number four is whether he’s depressed or has low self-esteem. As we said earlier divorce is traumatic and it can really take a toll on a person’s mental state and destroy their self-esteem. Divorce has the potential to make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if you’ve been cheated on. But remember, it’s not your job to fix him, it’s not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He will need to find that path on his own. Please avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate him when you could be keeping your options open to other people.
Check the ex
If his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life that’s another warning sign you shouldn’t ignore. Now, we get it if he has children with her, they will need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a friendship. But if you’re finding that she’s still a constant part of his life, he’s texting her on a constant basis, always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. There’s still a possibility he might want to win her back.
Kids but no kids
Speaking of children. How’s his relationship with his kids? If he has zero custody of his children doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a major problem. Nonetheless, it’s a red flag. Typically, the relationship that someone has with their children is very coherent with the relationship they’ll have with other people in their life, but divorces are complicated and messy, so you really want to find out what actually went to get a clearer picture of him.
Now those are the biggest red flags we really want you to be looking for when you’re dating a divorced man, and if you don’t see any of those red flags, then great, go for it! Just because a man was divorced doesn’t mean he’s damaged goods. On the contrary, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and be at a point in his life where he has more clarity about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.
Ready to find your next date? Check out our divorced singles pond and start chatting to other divorced singles today.