Falling in love is such a special feeling and when you realise you’re in deep, it can be the most incredible feeling to experience with your partner. But sometimes, lust and excitement can be mistaken for love, and we find ourselves quickly falling out of ‘love’ with this person weeks later. So, next time you’re sat at home wondering whether it’s real or just pheromones, remember some of these key clues.
You want them to be part of your whole world
You want them to be part of your everyday life, meeting your family and friends on every occasion. You want to share every detail about your day, and soon enough you’ve realised you’ve been on the phone for three hours. Having them in your life fills you with happiness and contentment – a key indicator that you’re falling in love.
You are kind of freaking out
It’s easy to over-analyse text messages you’ve sent to each other and replay interactions you’ve had over and over in your head. It’s standard for when you’ve just start dating someone you’re excited about. But it’s said that if you’re still notice slight changes in stress or anxiety after a few dates, it could be a sign that you’ve caught real feelings. It’s mostly anxiety over the small things, you spend time worrying about what you’re going to wear, even though they’re only coming round for a takeaway and movie date. You find yourself running to the bathroom to brush your teeth before they wake up in the morning. It should be a freak out for a positive reason.
You find yourself picking up their traits
It won’t be long until you find yourself picking up the same phrases and mannerisms your partner has. When they said that “two becomes one”, they weren’t lying. All of a sudden, you’re both becoming very similar, but that’s not such a bad thing.
You want to say the big ‘L’ word
You’ll find yourself wanting to say the three important words to your partner. You know it’s love and not just lust when you’re intrigued in what makes them tick and what their interests are. If you all you suddenly want to do is to listen to what’s on their mind and look forward to having conversations with them about the future, you are already well on your way to ‘Luuurve Town’.
‘We’ is starting to become the new ‘I’
It doesn’t feel weird to RSVP to your Aunt Sarah’s wedding that’s next year, because you know they’ll still be in your life. This is a huge sign of commitment, that you’re so sure they’ll be around for the long run. They start to become part of your life in every way, friends invite you and your partner out rather than you. Your parents address the Christmas card to you and them. Immersing them into your life in the small ways which are personal to you is a huge sign you’re falling in love and that you see a future with them.
If you’re ready to fall head over heels for your person, then head over to Plentymorefish where you can find fellow loving singles.
The first step to getting stuck into online dating is creating your profile. You want this to encapsulate everything that is you; your hobbies, your quirks, the bonds you have with people, your likes, and dislikes. Making sure that what you put out there is 100% honest and it gives people the best idea of who YOU are. To give you a helping hand we’ve put together a list of tips to use next time you fancy like sprucing up your profile.
Ask a friend/family for help
Too often we don’t sell ourselves enough because we worry that we look arrogant or obnoxious. If you struggle to capture your personality in print, get someone else in on it, like a close friend or family member. They know you best and it’s a great way to boost your profile. More often than not, they know what we want more than we know ourselves, so they can make sure you’re appealing to the right people.
Think about all your positive attributes and write those down. You want to make sure that your profile is beaming positivity. You might enjoy the self-depreciating joke, but to someone else that may not come across the same way. You want to entice people into getting to know you more, so make sure your personality shines through the words that describe you.
Try to steer clear of uploading group photos
Scrolling through photos trying to decipher who it is that has the profile, is not how you want to be spending the evening and to be quite honest, it can be a reason why you’re not getting a lot of matches. Try to stick to clear photos of just you on your profile, even if you have to crop the rest of your friends out (sorry guys!).
Check your spelling and grammar
A survey completed by Elite Singles in the UK found that the most despised trait online is poor spelling and grammar so now might be a good time to check your dating profile for any errors. You wouldn’t go into a job interview with a poorly written cover letter. Give your dating profile the same amount of attention.
You want to give people enough insight about you to match with you, whilst also leaving some behind to slip into conversation. Give people a reason to message you, so leave a bit of mystery behind. A short paragraph or two should give someone enough detail about you and your personality.
Don’t talk about dating
Talking about dating itself or online dating in your profile, can be a way of coming across negatively. It may sound light-hearted suggesting that ‘none of the other dating apps are working so I thought I’d give this one a go’ but it can give people the wrong impression. Instead focus on what you’re looking for, like someone to binge watch The Office with, or someone who enjoys travelling and put a positive spin on that.
Dating can be difficult enough, so give yourself the advantage and take some time and put in some effort to complete your profile. You won’t regret it!
Head over to Plentymorefish where you can find fellow singles who are looking for love.
Setting boundaries can be difficult, it can be a bit of a struggle to know where to start or even what classes as a ‘boundary’. Often, we think if we say “no” then we risk losing part of the relationship or even friendship. But putting boundaries into place is a way normal and healthy way of protecting ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Having that discussion about boundaries can feel awkward or you may not know what to say, particularly if the relationship game is new to you, here are a few pointers to think about when starting a new relationship.
Be honest about what you need
In a new relationship everything is rosy, and you probably think you don’t need much from your partner because you just enjoy the time you spend with them. But you need to think further down the line, if this relationship has the potential to be serious then you need to think about what you want from your partner. From being open about their feelings to not leaving towels on the bathroom floor.
You need to get clear with yourself what you’re comfortable and not comfortable with, and then be able to communicate that to your partner, so they know exactly what to expect and how to meet your needs and expectations.
Listen to what your partner needs
After you’ve had your say about what you want from the relationship, listen to what your partner needs and we don’t mean just listen to respond, or to shake it off. But really listen. Listen and then think what you can do to meet those needs.
Designate when you need space
In the beginning of a relationship, you may want to be around your person as much as you can. Even trips to Tesco are fun when your partner is coming along. But if you’re finding that spending a lot of time together is getting a bit too much for you, then ask for space. The last thing you want to happen is you getting irritated because you feel like you see no one but your partner, so be honest and take time away from each other.
Communicate what you can tolerate
Knowing what you can tolerate is particularly important to prevent those arguments which can crop up. When talking about what you can tolerate, we mean not just those times your partner walks past the dirty plates and doesn’t wash them up. But particularly emotionally, we all get affected differently by actions and as a result how we react may differ. So, it’s important to let your partner know if you’re sensitive to being lied to, shouted at, silenced etc.
You should be able to communicate anything in your relationship but it’s also the way it’s communicated which is important. Try to remember to not expect a person to simply know what you need or can tolerate, it’s always best to be up front.
Communication is vital in a relationship and for it to work you need to remember that, however much we’d like them to read our minds, they just can’t.
If you’re ready to venture into the world of dating, Plentymorefish can help you along the way. Join now to find fellow singles looking for love.
Finding yourself back in the dating world after a divorce can be scary process, especially if you have children. But dating with kids mustn’t become a big hurdle, as long as you remember a few points to consider.
Don’t introduce your kids to a new partner unless the relationship is getting serious. You wouldn’t want your kids to become attached to your new squeeze only to have them experience the loss of someone they liked.
Your new partner should know about your kids from the word go. If he or she doesn’t like children or can not accept you are a parent, it’s pretty clear they aren’t right for you. Save yourself the heartbreak and move on.
Being honest with your children about your new love is vital to have them on board. They will smell BS a mile away, so try and be as honest with them as possible about your relationship. It’s important that you reassure them and explain that they will always be the most important people your life, no matter what.
Accept that your kids may be slow to warm up to your new partner. If that’s the case, don’t push the relationship on them too quickly. Give them time.
Reassure your children that your new significant other is NOT intended to replace your ex — ever. This way, they don’t have to feel as though they have to choose or that they betray the other parent.
Many children cling onto the hope that their parents will get back together for a long time and may struggle to come to terms with it. When you’ve moved on to a new partner, the finality of your split becomes more real to your children, which may bring out feelings of jealousy, anger, and fear in them, so talk to them about their feelings and let them express their emotions without judgement.
Do you have any other advice for single parents looking to date? Share it with us by leaving a comment.