Losing a spouse, going through a divorce or break up can be a traumatic experience. For most people it takes time for the wounds to heal before even thinking about taking a dip in the dating pool again. Understandable really. Often jumping into a relationship too quickly can be a bad thing – you may meet someone who’s not right for you. As much as you may miss the companionship it’s worth having some you time to figure out exactly what it is that you want.
So how do you know when you’re ready to date again?
Are you “over” your past relationship?
This does not mean forget about your past relationship by any means – it just means that you have stopped comparing new interests to your previous partner.
Are you bitter?
Being bitter is a sign you’re not over your ex and can be sensed a mile off by prospective partners. It can send people running for the door. You should be free of bitterness before dating again- it only wears you down. It may take time but that healing time is hugely important.
Do you expect instant dating success?
Unfortunately dating is filled with ups and downs and not a dating site in the world could promise you instant success. Some meet the right one straight away, some don’t. It’s a numbers game. Don’t lose hope.
Are you feeling happy?
Happiness and positivity is an extremely attractive quality. It’s true what they say- you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. Use your single time to do the things that make you feel happy. Your future partner should fit into your life.
Are you revealing too much too soon?
Your date should not be used as a counsellor. If you feel you’re going to spill details of your past relationship on your first date then it is pretty evident that you need some more time before dating. Mystery is all part of the excitement of dating.
It may take some time before you feel ready to start dating again but in my experience it’s MUCH better to give yourself this time and meet someone who ticks all the boxes rather than just a few.