Tag Archive | partner

Letters, cards and cuddly toys

Letters, cards and cuddly toys are just some of the mementos many of us hang on to when a relationship has ended.  Cute bears that meant the world, letters written from the heart, your favourite song, even your partners t-shirt with that all too familiar smell…all too hard to throw out.  But, keeping visible memories dotted around your house can be painful, so why do we do it?

I think it’s just a process that many of us need to go through. Many of the gifts are useless but after a relationship we may find ourselves clinging onto what little we have left as a reminder of them and the good times. It adds a form of comfort from the person…the person who caused us to feel this way in the first place. Weird, eh?

This is not the case for everyone though. Some people see chucking out all mementos as a first step towards getting over their ex. Relationships over and Freddy the teddy is lying in a bin bag with the potato peelings, ready to meet his fate. People just deal with it differently.

I find names and numbers the hardest to rid.  A number you haven’t called for 3 years but still remains part of your history. A number once dialled often, now useless in function but simply too hard to delete.

So what about you? Are you a thrower or a hoarder? When in a new relationship, is it necessary for you to bin all gifts from your ex or can you keep some? It would be interesting to hear some views on this! 🙂

Do you have a “type”?

According to anthropologist, Helen Fisher we are all attracted to a particular type. This type could be an “Explorer”, “Builder”, “Negotiator” or “Director.” To discover your type according to Fisher you can take the online quiz here. However, as we found, you have to enter a Zip code rather than a postal code such as; “32043”, so if you enter this it should work! Oh- It’s quite a lengthy quiz so make sure you have enough time to spare!!!

Ok, so what do the different types actually mean?

The Explorer

The explorer tends to be “risk-taking, novelty-seeking, curious, creative, spontaneous, energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic.”

The Builder

These people are calm, social, popular, cautious, but not fearful. Very managerial, they’re very good at networking and family’s very important to them. They’re traditional, conventional, often religious.

The Director

They’re direct, decisive, tough-minded and often understand music very well because music is very structural. They’re competitive, ambitious and very good at spatial relations.

The Negotiator

These people see the big picture. They’re very flexible, imaginative and intuitive. They’re compassionate and verbal.

Who suits who?

Explorer types tend to be drawn to other explorers because they want somebody who’s energetic and enthusiastic, adventurous, curious and creative.

The Builder types, who are very traditional, cautious, skilled socially and into their family also go for people like themselves.

But the Director goes for the negotiator and the negotiator goes for the director. The director doesn’t have the people skills that the negotiator has and therefore is drawn to them because they’re  gracious, verbal and compassionate. The negotiator is drawn to the director for the opposite reason.

So what type are you and which type do you go for?!

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