All your friends are taken, acquaintances all seem to be settled, even your slightly odd neighbour seems to have found Mr Right. In fact, from looking around it feels as if the only singleton about is you.
Ever felt like this? Everyone has at some point.
For some, being in this position creates tremendous amount pressure to find a partner quickly. You crave what you think everyone has: “The Perfect Partner.” However, it’s important to take into account that the relationships of your friends are probably entirely different to what you see. External appearances can be deceitful! Just because they have a partner it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve got it all!
It’s not worth dating Mr or Ms. Wrong for dating’s sake and neither is it good to enter a relationship merely because someone has shown a large amount of interest in you. If you do this, you may find you’re constantly entering relationships below your standards. This will, in turn, increase your insecurity and cause you to think negatively about dating. Settling for Mr or Ms. Wrong isn’t a good move for this reason.
It’s not fair to ‘make do’ with someone just because you want a relationship. You will find yourself trying to mould them around what you want them to be. You should never try and change someone. If you feel yourself trying to do this then it’s fair to say – they’re not the right one for you.
Our advice to you would be, make sure you’re happy in yourself before going into a relationship. There are so many singletons out there, there’s absolutely no need to rush. Rather than rushing into anything and settling for mediocre, decide what you want from your next relationship. You don’t have to match your future partner with everything on your list but at least it’ll point you towards the right kind of person for you!
We want to make sure our members make the most of their memberships, so we thought we’d offer a bit of help.
We understand how easy it is to lose track of what great features are available on Plenty More Fish, so here’s a quick reminder of what makes us the best dating site around…
1. Advanced Search
Be as specific as you want – search for your perfect partner using up to 20 different types of preferences including age, location, height, appearance, lifestyle, background, hobbies… the list goes on and on… and on!!!
2. Who’s Online
See who’s logged in at the same time as you and send them an Instant Message to get chatting in the quickest time possible. With no need to wait around for a reply, you could even end up with an instant date.
Introduce yourself to other Members face-to-face by recording a short video clip about yourself. It’s like having a profile and a photo all-in-one, and other members will also be able to see that you’re 100% genuine.
Once you’ve found other members who fit what you’re looking for, you can introduce yourself to them all in one go by sending your own personal Ice Breaker message to get the conversation started.
Choose whether to see all your incoming contacts in one place, or list Winks, Messages, Favourites and Gifts separately. And don’t forget you can also filter out contacts from people you’re not interested in.
There are lots more ways that Plenty More Fish can help you find who and what you’re looking for, such as Dating Diaries, Personality Tests, Recommended Members and all sorts of E-mail Notifications to let you know when you’ve caught someone’s attention.
If you’ve got any questions our wonderful Customer Care team are available online and on the phone, right here in the UK, every weekday from 9am to 5:30pm, on 0800 987 5555.
If you’ve been away from the dating scene for some considerable time, you may have become a little rusty with some of the dating norms a.k.a “dating etiquette.” I think the biggest and best piece of advice I can offer is to be yourself and never ever pretend to be someone your not. This definitely applies to both off line and online dating.
Sometimes, it’s easy to say too much on a first date and TRUST me, I know all too much about verbal diarrhoea… it happens to the best of us 😉 Chatting a lot on a first date is by no means a bad thing – if anything, it’s good – but saying the wrong thing could mean the difference between the first and second date. Steer away from the following topics of conversation and you’ll be one step closer to date number two!
1. Bad mouthing your ex
Refrain from talking about your ex.. any ex. It’s a huge turn off. Your date will want to know about you, not your ex. It’s not attractive, plus it can suggest that you’re not quite over them.
2. Dishing out blame
Not taking responsibility for your mistakes will cause alarm bells to ring straight away. A relationship is built on trust and if your date feels they can’t trust you, well, that’s the second date out of the window!
3. Living with parents
So you’re 30 and still living with your parents without good reason and show no sign of moving out. Dependence on your parents at this age is pretty unattractive to most. It’s not just about the living with your parents though. Relying on your mum for your cooking and cleaning is a huge, huge turn off. Independence is SO much more attractive!
4. Discussing financial problems
It’s neither the time nor the place to be discussing personal matters like this. It’s way too much information for a first date and can leave your date feeling awkward. Get to know your date first. They may be a bit freaked if you start discussing your credit card bills, not to mention – turned off.
5. Your wish to be married with kids ASAP
It doesn’t take a genius to work out that discussing your marriage and family plans on a first date isn’t the best idea. I don’t think I need to explain why..
6. “You’re too smart/ attractive/good for me”
Self confidence is incredibly attractive to the opposite sex. Your date is on a date with you because they like you. There’s absolutely nothing else to question.
7. “Can I take your picture?”
Don’t ask to take a photo on a first date. It comes across as needy, freaky and a little stalker-ish. . Some of you may wonder why I’m even mentioning this..? Well, it did actually happen to someone I know and all I can say is a second date definitely didn’t happen.
8. “Come back to mine?”
Unless you know for sure that your date feels the same – don’t ask. Your date could end up being offended.
9. “I love you”
Argh. These three little words should never be used on the first date for obvious reasons. It’s worrying for your date as you’ll come across as clingy/ psycho. Harsh but true!!!
10. You’re jobless with no intention of getting a job
Laziness is not attractive. Showing no intention of working is to most, extremely unattractive. No one wants to date a ‘bum’ do they?!
“London beats Paris in the 2012 Olympics bid.” It seems like only yesterday doesn’t it? In fact, the announcement was made 7 years ago, in 2005. Gobsmacked? So are we. We welcome 2012 with open arms however, the year that once seemed SO far away has suddenly caught up with us.
Oh how time flies!
Time passes so quickly and at Plenty More Fish, we feel that if you want something, you shouldn’t just sit back and wait for it to happen, you should go out and get it! This includes waiting for that special person to whisk you off your feet – you really need to put the effort in too. It will make your search for that special someone easier and much more successful!
To help you out we have racked our dating brains and come up with 6 great ways to help you make a fresh start and get the most out of dating in 2012.
1. Change your attitude
Ever had a bad relationship? You’re not alone. Most of us have a past relationship that didn’t work out the way we intended. Don’t let it hold you back or drag you down. Everyone’s different and chances are you won’t make the same mistake again. The best way to move forward and get on with your life is to see your negative relationship experience in a positive light and treat it as a learning curve. It will probably give you clearer insight into what you want and what you don’t want out of your next relationship.
2. Make yourself heard/seen
Get yourself out there! Your perfect partner is unlikely to know you even exist if you hibernate in your house. Make the effort to meet new people through singles events and dating sites like Plenty More Fish. If you decide to go down the online dating route, make sure your profile has all the important stuff in; a show stopping picture (or two), a great profile description and all relevant information to name a few.
3. Go on as many dates as possible
Get out there and get dating! Find out who you like and find out who you don’t like! Meeting new people will help with confidence building , especially if you haven’t had a relationship in a while. Finding the right person for you is often a numbers game and a process of elimination so we recommend throwing yourself right into it. Relax and have fun when dating and remember with each date, you’re one step closer to finding the right person for you!
4. Let go of your “type.”
It’s easy to focus too much on a certain ‘type’ and miss great potential matches right in front of you. We completely understand that there’s certain very important criteria such as location and age but are you being too picky? . Bin the list and try to be a little more open-minded. Does star-sign, eye colour and hair colour really matter? It’s definitely worth dating a wide range of singletons in order to figure out what you really want.
5. Don’t take things personally
It’s not you…it’s them! Seriously though, if something doesn’t quite work out the way you had hoped just remember that it’s not you, it’s them! If someone isn’t interested then it’s their loss. Not everyone will fall for the same person..I mean, how boring!! (Not to mention we’d all be fighting over the same people!) Don’t let it throw you off dating others. Pick yourself up, there will be someone awesome out there for you!
6. Don’t give up
This follows up from the last point. Keep a positive attitude and if the first couple of dates don’t work out then don’t get put off or start to panic! There are SO many singletons out there. On Plenty More Fish alone there are over 2 million! Just keep dating.. you get out what you put in.
I hope you find these tips helpful and from all of us at Plenty More Fish…..
As a member of Plenty More Fish, you have the option to meet new people from all over the UK and Ireland but would you message those who live a bit further afield? What’s the cut off point? More importantly, would you be prepared to commit to a long distance relationship for the foreseeable future?
I guess it’s all very much down to personal preference. Some people like to know their partner is always around and others prefer their own space. For the latter, long distance relationships are bound to be more successful. It also depends on what you want from the relationship. If you want something a little bit more laid back then the distance might even be a good thing!s a member of Plenty More Fish, you have the option to meet new people from all over the UK and Ireland but would you message those who live a bit further afield? What’s the cut off point? More importantly, would you be prepared to commit to a long distance relationship for the foreseeable future?
There seems to pros and cons with a long distance relationship. One positive is that you’ll probably make a bigger deal of the time you have together and plan something great for the weekend but the negative may be that you can’t be as spontaneous as you’d like. Hmm…
We’ve had some great feedback from our followers on Twitter – so thanks! It seems most of you think long distance relationships have a higher chance of working now than ever before due to the numerous methods of communication such as Facebook, Twitter, Email, Text, Skype etc. Others think that if the cost of travel were cheaper, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. The general consensus was that you have to like the other person enough from the word go to make the extra effort associated with long distance relationships. Which, is sometimes difficult to figure out straight away.
What do you think? Have you/ would you give long distance relationships a go?
Back in March, I wrote a little blog on E-flirting etiquette which looked at the way technology had changed the way we flirt.
Through the introduction of mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and online dating sites such as Plenty More Fish, a lot of people may be unsure about some aspects of dating etiquette. No longer is it nerdy or desperate to ask someone out online or by text. In fact, it’s become quite the norm. Cast your mind back to the days before Facebook, sites like ours or even mobile phones; certain protocols applied to dating. Well, these manners still apply. For example, it’s polite to let the other person know whether another date is on the cards soon after the first date. In the past you may have communicated this straight after the first get together with little/ no contact in-between. Now, due to smartphones, it’s highly likely for this to be communicated soon after via text or social network. However just like before, it’s important not to leave the other person “hanging’ too long. A recent study suggested that the average wait time for a follow up text or call was 1.52 days. After this, the date loses interest. So a prompt response is still needed.
It’s important for modern and old school dating etiquettes to co-exist. Just because you’re sat behind a phone or computer screen, it doesn’t mean you should abandon some of the older rituals of courtship. For example; you wouldn’t open a conversation with a stranger in a bar by saying “wanna chat?” so why do it online? Quite frankly, I think you’d be lucky to receive a “no” as a response. The best way to start a conversation online would be similar to how you’d be expected to introduce yourself offline. Something a little more personal is needed such as; ” Hi, I noticed you’re profile and it seems we have quite a lot in common [talk specifics here]. If you like what you see, get in touch. Looking forward to hearing from you.”
Chances are, when you’re using a dating site like Plenty More Fish you’ll probably end up chatting to more than one potential date. You may even be dating more than one person at a time. This is very different to traditional courtship and a lot of people struggle to get their head around it. A while back, a friend of mine was feeling really guilty about dating more than one person at the same time after meeting them online. I don’t really see a problem with keeping your options open before a relationship gets serious. There’s so many fish in the sea it’s important to be sure before making the decision to let the other dates down. I think this is the biggest difference with meeting people online vs. offline – there’s a much bigger pond full of potential partners.
Technological changes have made it easier for us to find dates. The devices and platforms we use to communicate with them has changed but the way we communicate and the etiquette we use really hasn’t. It’s nothing we haven’t done before, just a different way of doing it.
Yes, your English teacher was right. Spelling IS important. It could be the difference between getting 1 date or 10 dates. I would even go so far as to say correct spelling and grammar on your Plenty More Fish profile is as important as uploading a quality photo of yourself.
Why? First impressions count.
With online dating, people will have very limited information to form an opinion on you. They have never met you in person so they will base their decision on whether they would like to find out more solely on your pictures and the information you have given about yourself. If this information is limited and/or the spelling is not up to scratch then they may just flick past your profile and who knows, you could’ve been perfect for each other!
So, our tips on getting your spelling and grammar tip-top? Simple.
1. Ask a close friend to proof read. You never know, they may be able to offer some extra help with the content too. 😉
2. Write your “About you” section on Word first. The integrated spell-checker will underline anything spelt incorrectly. Make the changes then copy over to your profile.