Long gone are the days where people thought being on a dating website was for weirdoes.
Online dating is now a key part in today’s dating culture, and it’s actually one of the most successful and efficient ways to meet someone special. But most people just don’t know how to unlock this opportunity.
So here are our top 5 tips on how to make it easier to find love online.
- Be yourself
It can be so tempting to exaggerate or embellish your traits to help find a date but it’s important that you are honest on your dating profile (and IRL obv). Saying you are 6’1 when you are 5’5 may not seem like a big fib to you but your date might feel like they’ve been deceived. Stay honest and real and the right person will find you.
- Go on dates
It seems like an obvious one but it bears repeating – the more dates you go on the bigger the chances you will click with someone in real life. When looking for a new job you wouldn’t say no to turning up for an interview and expecting to get the job, would you? If you are serious about finding that special someone you’ll have to go out to find him or her. No hiding behind a computer screen!
- Stay optimistic
It can be really disheartening when you’ve been single for a while and feel like you’re the only person on Earth still left without a partner. To take the pressure off, focus on making a new friend rather than meeting the love of your life. This may seem weird at first, but if you’re too focused on ‘The One’ it may blind you to the possibilities out there. Most of the time it’s our own expectations that get in the way of connecting with the people around us. Go easy on yourself and your date!
- Check your dating profile
Coming back to point 1 (being honest) when was the last time you’ve checked in on your own dating profile. Are you honest about yourself? How old are your images? Sprucing up your dating profile can really boost your dating game. Check out our post on DATING PROFILE MISTAKES WOMEN HATE for some dating profile tips (also relevant for the ladies!) If in doubt, ask a straight-talking friend to check over your profile and give you some tips.
- Before you meet in person, have a phone convo
We know in today’s world having an actual phone may seem like your dating in the 90s but trust us when we say this should be the first step before you meet a date in person – no matter how much you liked them online. A phone call will give plenty of time to check if you have chemistry. After all, if you can’t talk over the phone, you are not likely to have much to say to each other in real life.
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We spent a lot of time online. A.LOT.OF.TIME. So we can confidently say we’ve seen our fair share of men’s dating profiles. Some good, some amazing, and some…well, let’s just say there’s room for improvement. Sorry, lads – we have to call it. It’s always surprising when someone looking for love doesn’t seem to put any effort into creating at least a ‘decent-ish’ dating profile.
So from a female perspective here are the biggest dating profile turn-offs.
We get it – you like your friends. But if your dating profile comprises of mostly group shots you are turning it into a game of “Where’s Wally”. Worse yet, looking at you in group shots with other ladies. What exactly are you telling a potential date? She won’t know if the other woman in the pic is your ex or your sis, and as soon as confusion sets in, she’ll be on to the next profile. Make it easy for her to see whose profile she’s looking at.
Sex doesn’t sell
That’s right, Gentlemen, your abs may be harder than the surface of our office desk but we really don’t want to see them in your dating profile. Whilst we can all appreciate a bit of eye candy, that’s what Instagram is for. Your dating profile isn’t a place to hawk the goods unless you’re after a no-strings-attached-date, in which case check out our Naughty Pond. If you are looking for a relationship, add photos of you in well-fitting clothes that compliment your nice physique. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would show that pic to your Nan.
If I could turn back time
That ‘used by date’ applies to images too, or at least it should. Any images of you that are older than your mobile phone should not make it onto your dating profile. How would you feel if your date shows up to a dinner date having suddenly aged 20 years? It’s not a great way to start off! The same applies to fibbing about your age, height, hobbies, anything really – just be honest, please.
Let’s face it
Your profile pic should not make you look like you ought to be on Crime Watch. We cannot tell you how many photos we’ve seen taken by low light, with a shadowy figure staring down into a webcam. It’s simply creepy af and is not going to get you dates. Instead, go for images taken in natural daylight. Ask a trusted friend and head to the garden or the park and take a few pictures – preferably headshots. So – you know – she can see your actual face!
Gents, if any the above describes your dating profile, we hope you take our well-intentioned advice and put some effort into updating it. We really want you to find that special someone. So start with your dating profile and put your best (virtual) foot forward.
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We all know the lyrics to the Fleetwood Mac Song ‘Little Lies’, a song about a relationship where one party chooses to believe the little lies rather than see the truth and change the situation. An analogy that can often be applied to online dating profiles. Most of us have been on a date where when we meet some of the things written on their profile just don’t add up and it is obvious they’ve been a little more creative than they should be.
But why? What’s the point?
Fact. Online dating, whilst fun is also grueling on the soul. In the busy pond of singles looking for love how on earth do you make your profile stand out against the hundreds of thousands of others hoping Cupid’s arrow will strike? Surely by being a little more creative with your profile you’re showing flair and individualism? Not quite.
The problem is that whilst creativity and flair would have got you top marks at school; when you’re looking for ‘the one’ you need to tell it how it is and be honest about your personality, what you are looking for and the traits you like or dislike. Turning your dating profile into work of fiction is not the smartest move.
Honesty is the best policy
The dilemma most online daters go over in their head is that being honest will come back and bite them and can sometimes backfire. Try looking at it another way. If you’ve been honest about yourself and what you’re looking for and a potential match takes umbrage with this were they really for you anyway?
Whether you’re a young singleton, an older dater or someone looking for a casual relationship it is important to write a profile that makes it clear what you want from a potential partner, what you are like as a person and your stand out personality traits.
Those of us in the category of ‘silver daters‘ should stay away from cliches such as ‘seeks companion’, ‘happy in own company’, ‘well settled in own ways’ – these would all indicate that friendship rather than a relationship is more important. Equally avoid phrases such as ‘light-hearted’, ‘funny’, ‘good sense of humour’ – after all, you’re looking for a meaningful relationship not a daily dose of the comedy club.
Words are vital when writing your online dating profile. The wrong ones can be an instant turn off and the right ones could bag you the perfect date. So what are the key ‘trigger words’ that make a standout profile?
Not surprisingly men look for women with words like ‘ambitious’ and ‘confident’ in their profile and women look for male profiles with the words ‘intelligent’ and ‘sincere’. The more positive descriptions you can use the better. For the female daters amongst us try incorporating words such as ‘hard working’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘motivated’ and ‘compassionate’. For the male daters build your profile using ‘spontaneous’, ‘outgoing’ and ‘perceptive’.
An honest well thought and well-written profile will trigger a natural emotional response from a potential date. Whilst you might want to be a little creative and go into your love of traveling and a passion for cats these are not the facts that are going to get your profile grabbing the attention of Mr or Mrs Right!
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We all have different expectations when it comes to dating online and offline. Some may want to date casually, whilst others are looking to find a partner for life. For those of you who fall into the latter category, dating can become frustrating at times, especially when you have been on the market for a while. Sadly, no matter how great you are at dating, there are simply no guarantees that you will find that perfect catch right away.
While questionnaires and personality tests can help narrow down your search, they can only get you so far. You may be perfect for each other on paper but when you meet in person, there may not be any chemistry. So at times, you may feel like giving up and resigning yourself to eternal singledom. If that’s the case, you may be suffering from what we call the dreaded Dating Doldrums.
When suffering from Dating Doldrums, you may adopt a negative mindset and could even cause you to make bad decisions about who you date, how often you date, and how you respond to potential dates. The key to kick the DD’s in the Bum-Bum is to focus on having fun again. When you treat each new date is an opportunity to meet someone interesting and as an opportunity to have fun, socialise or to simply enjoy life, the whole process takes on a different flavour. So why put pressure on yourself?
The more you live in the moment, the more enjoyable your life and dating life will become. I hope this post has got you thinking and I shall leave you with a quote that I feel we should all live by:
My advice for life: dance and sing your song while the party is still on. ~ Rasheed Ogunlaru
Here at Plenty More Fish we firmly believe that dating should be fun. So we ask you: “When was the last time you went on a date simply with the intention of enjoying yourself?”
This morning the Earth drifted through an astronomical checkpoint marking the official start of spring in the northern hemisphere. Everyone at Plenty More HQ is looking forward to longer and hopefully sunnier days. Bet you are too.
Spring means the rebirth of fauna and flora. The birds are singing and the bees buzzing and we all start to feel more alive. Love is in the air and if you are single, this is the best time to up your game and get yourself noticed. So out with the old, in with the new as they say. Change your look, do something you’ve always wanted to do or stop something that no longer makes you happy. ‘Cause as we keep saying, happy peeps are seriously attractive.
So, how do you ramp up your phwoar-factor?
Spring Tip No 1: Try new things
It’s not very enticing to get out and do things during the dark and damp winter months, but as the days are getting longer this is the ideal time to try something you haven’t tried before. Get out of your rut and into something new. Doing something different puts the ZING back into your life and gives you something exciting to talk about on your dating profile. And who knows, Mr/Ms Right might find that particular subject really interesting.
Spring Tip No 2: Do things differently
It’s easy to get into habits. But how boring is that? Routines may be comforting, but doing the same things day in day out, will give you the same results. Changing your routine will spice things up again, give you a different perspective and get you to notice new things and people again. So when you are online, try a new search, change your profile, add new photos and go on dates with different types of people. Broaden your horizons and maybe that special someone you’ve been looking for was there all along, you just didn’t see.
Spring Tip No 3: Let go
Letting go of past hurt is one of the best ways to increasing happiness and bringing that joie de vivre back. Dwelling in the past will keep you firmly there, so let go and give yourself permission to move on. Remember? This is a new beginning.
Spring Tip No 4: Be positive
Dates gone wrong or a lack of dates can be disheartening and frustrating. But hang in there and don’t take it personal. Everything happens for a reason so try to find the positive lessons to take away and then cast your net again….remember, there’s plenty more fish in the sea! 😉
Spring Tip No 5: Fall in love
…with yourself. Being in tune with who you are and knowing what you want in life is one of the most attractive qualities a person can posses. So in the words of Nat King Cole: “Let there be love!”
Here’s to new beginnings and finding love and happiness this spring!
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