The many myths telling us what to expect when in a good relationship can be very destructive. They can create problems by forcing you to question whether you or your partner should be behaving differently. You could find yourself asking; “Why doesn’t he do this?”, “Why does she say this?” because apparently it’s the “done” thing. The thing is, everyone is different, every single relationship is different and all that matters is whether it works for the two people involved in the relationship. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks or how you’re “supposed” to be.
I have come up with 5 relationship myths and *shockingly* (perhaps not so shockingly…) disproved all of them.
- If you’ve got a good relationship you won’t have to work at it. All relationships have their ups and downs and even good relationships require effort. If everything was simple and straightforward you would soon find yourself becoming bored so putting work into your relationship is a good thing. However, if you are spending too much time tending to your relationship than enjoying it – you are probably working too hard in order to keep it afloat.
- You should know each other’s needs and feelings. Just because you’re together it doesn’t mean you should be able to read each others minds. This is essentially what you’re expecting if you want your partner to just “know” how you’re feeling. Communication is absolutely key and if you don’t talk about your needs and feelings then how are they supposed to know?
- Passion will never fade if you’re truly in love. We’ve got the movies to thank for this one. No matter how much you love someone, passion will generally fade with time. Daily routine is usually one of the culprits and unavoidable if your responsibilities grow because you will have less and less time and energy for each other. Don’t panic – It doesn’t mean that passion is lost! It just means you may need to take time to plan in order to make time for each other.
- Jealousy is just a reflection of how much you care. Wrong! Jealousy often reflects your own insecurities. If you feel jealous often then you really need to work on your self confidence. It is a problem you personally need to address as it can be extremely destructive to your relationship if not dealt with. Equally, you shouldn’t aim to make your partner jealous to see whether they care- for exactly the same reasons.
- Arguments ruin relationships. Not necessarily – it all depends on the type of argument and the temperament of the people involved (e.g. mild tempered..strong willed..etc.) Chances are you spend a lot of time with each other so you’ll feel comfortable enough to disagree with them. If something doesn’t sit well with you then why not air your problem? Keeping schtum could just lead to bigger problems in the future. Like I said before, communication is key. What actually ruins relationships is not resolving your arguments.