You’ve most likely heard of the word Submissive or Submission, particularly if you’ve read our Guide to BDSM post. But if you’re not too sure we’ll run over it quickly for you. Submission is surrendering to the control of the dominant, typically this is a relationship formed between two people where one person has authority over another in consensual terms. BDSM is not a requirement for a D/S (Dominant/Submissive) relationship, but if you like things kinky in the bedroom you could add in elements of it.
But what is expected of you exactly as a submissive?
You need to be accepting
Being in a D/S relationship can be challenging, particularly if it’s your first experience of one. So being accepting of the other person is important in making them feel comfortable.
You need to be honest
Honesty is so important, particularly in a submissive role as your dominant needs to get to know every intimate detail about you before and after engaging in the relationship. This is so that they clearly know your boundaries and what you enjoy.
You need to be trusting
A huge part of engaging in a D/S relationship is trust. Like any relationship if it’s not there then the relationship will struggle. You need to trust your dominant that they’re looking out for you in all ways.
You are going to have sacrifice some things
In a ‘normal’ sexual relationship, you pretty much have control of everything like your pleasure etc. But as a submissive, you consensually hand over the power to your dominant so things like sexual gratification, pleasure and pride become a privilege. Establishing your safe words are crucial for times like these, as you want to be able to express your discomfort at any point.
You need to be patient
Mistakes are bound to happen, by both yourself and your dominant. But learning more about each other takes time and patience, you may want things from your dominant now, but you need to think of the relationship in the long run. This also goes for if it’s someone’s first experience of a D/S relationship, they may be a different type of dominant to what you’re used to, so be patient with them.
So next time you’re wanting to explore the world of submission, remember these are the things you need to expect for a great time. Have fun and get comfortable with this new and exciting relationship.
If you’re looking for fellow sexy singles to get naughty with then head over to our naughty pond where you will find plenty to keep you entertained.
Bondage is a great way to introduce a bit of fun and play into the bedroom. It’s typically enjoyed between consenting adults for the purpose of pleasure by their movements being partially or completely restricted. If you choose to be bound you are putting your trust into your partner whilst you’re in a vulnerable position, and the other enjoys being in the position of control.
Why is it a turn on?
For some people, someone having control over them is a huge turn on. If both parties consent and trust each other at their most vulnerable, then it can dial up the psychological sensations. It has tease and denial elements which make it highly arousing, as you’re not able to stop the other person or pleasure yourself sexually. Do remember this all must be consensual and communicated before you start.
Where do we start?
Consent is a crucial element. You want to be certain that you or your partner want to participate in bondage and are still happy throughout. It’s important to remember that whilst someone may consent before, they can decide they no longer want to participate at any point during the act.
Once that’s established, you’re going to want to look at accessories to use. There are many types of common bondage accessories, like ankle and wrist cuffs, bondage tape, bondage rope, spreader bars, the list goes on. But if you’re not into investing in these accessories, you can opt for the simpler option that you may find around your house like a belt or a tie. If you find you and your partner both enjoy bondage, you can invest in a bondage kit, or maybe try using a different accessory like a rope.
A bit more on rope bondage
The great thing about bondage rope is that it’s easy to store. You can keep it in a draw or a wardrobe, under your bed or anywhere that’s going to be easily accessible for you. You don’t need any other accessories to make it work, you just need to know what knots to tie and how to always keep everyone safe. Focus on the physical sensation of the rope being tied, this is what gives you pleasure.
Rope by itself seems innocent until you know how to handle it, you can use it to create rope harnesses or different types of restraints. A rope harness can symbolise submission so you might find it being used in a dominant and submissive relationship or BDSM.
A few tips for you…
1. If you’re thinking of trying bondage but you want to keep it in the bedroom, then consider purchasing under-mattress restraints. You can have the tethers underneath your mattress and cuffs can be placed at each end. Then you’ve got yourself some bondage fun whenever you and your partner would like.
2. Take your time. Patience is key here; you want to make sure you’re feeling comfortable at all times and so is your partner. Get to know what your partner likes, there may be certain bondage accessories they prefer, so give them time to figure that out and to communicate that with you.
3. Establish safe words and most importantly use them if you’re feeling uncomfortable, do not fear them. You’re not appearing weak, or it isn’t a ‘fail’ by using a safe word, they’re there to establish boundaries which is a sign of a healthy sexual relationship. Make sure communication is top priority for both you and your partner.
If you’re looking to spice up your sex life, head over to our Naughty Pond to find your next fun adventure.
Audio porn has seen a huge surge in popularity in recent years. No longer are your typical porn sites cutting it, after all visual porn doesn’t always work for everyone. Some people prefer audio porn as arousal is heightened since they’re able to use their own imagination more freely. It’s easy to see why; you’re able to close your eyes and visualise the scene yourself as well as your partner, so you know every person’s scene is going to be different. You could even sit down with your partner and listen to some of these stories, it could be the first step in rekindling a spark in the bedroom or even just spicing up your sex life.
If you’re new to audio porn and maybe a little intrigued into how great it can be, we’ve put together a list of sites for you to try. Use these as starting points, they’re easy to navigate and provide a wide range of different stories and sexual wellness audio that you can use.
This site has one main intention and that’s to celebrate healthy sexuality, that’s safe, positive, and full of healthy boundary setting. It provides wellness content that connects you to your sexuality and desires. If you like your porn with a plot, then the stories on this site are great for guiding you through, with plenty of character stories to choose from. As well as fictional stories, they also provide guided erotic sessions and how to’s, so you can get to learn more about yourself and what you enjoy.
It’s said to be the YouTube of audio porn. There’s such a wide range of audio to listen to, you can search by category and narrow down by gender or sexuality and then even specify kinks. Users can upload their own clips, stories, and guided sessions so you’ll find audio not only from experts but also those new in the field. This site particularly specialises in non-visual porn for women, it’s not to say that if you are a man, you can’t get turned on by the audio, but it does provide more to empower women.
The site releases audio themselves, which means that you know what you’re about to listen to is created by those that are experienced in the field. These stories are great for those who want to cut to the chase pretty quickly and who prefer being able to put themselves in the stories, rather than it being about someone else. They’re inclusive of all kinks and provide kink-positive, realistic stories.
These are just a few of the many audio porn sites we’ve found out there. If you’re wanting to go out and try sites for yourself, remember to only join sites that are safe spaces and provide comfortable experiences. You want to feel relaxed and immersed into the story when listening to them, so if you’re finding yourself getting distracted or uncomfortable it might be best to try another.
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Maybe you’re after a bit of a change up in your sex life, you’re thinking you want to vary the positions and try something new. Well, we’ve done a bit of research and found some positions you could give a go tonight to spice up your sex life. Sometimes it’s easy to slip into the same old positions and you might be getting bored of it, so try these out and who knows, maybe you’ll find your new favourite position.
“The Bear Hug”
The receiving person stands and raises one leg in a bent position, it’s probably a good idea to make sure you’re near a wall or your bed for support. The giving partner then positions themselves behind the receiving partner in a tight hug, holding onto their waist to pull them in closer.
This position is great if you like the flexibility to choose the intensity and depth, as you can easily tailor it to your needs depending at the angles you and your partner position yourself in.
“The Sofa Surfer”
The receiving partner sits on the armrest of the sofa (first make sure your sofa isn’t flimsy and there’s nothing around you could injure yourself on) and then lowers the upper part of their body onto the seat, so they’re lying at an angle, with their legs straight and raised. The giving partner should then stand in front of the armrest and receiving partner and place their legs on their shoulders and grabbing their thighs.
This position is great if the giving partner is a little more dominant with the pace. It is sure to hit all of the deep penetrative spots that can create the mind-blowing orgasm and since you don’t have to use your hands, they are free to stimulate other parts of the body, like the nipples etc.
You both must be sitting facing each other to start with, the receiving partner then moves closer and wraps their legs around the giving partner and the giving partner does the same. The receiving partner then should shuffle forwards. This position requires more patience and it is deeply intimate.
As it’s a low intensity position it can take longer to build to an orgasm, but it done right it can be a connective experience for both partners. It might be one to try if you’ve got a bit of history with your partner, probably not the best for the first date.
There are plenty of other sex positions out there to try, but these are just a few that have the potential to spice up your sex life.
If you’re wanting someone to get steamy in the bedroom with then head over to our Naughty Pond where you can find fellow singles ready for no-strings-attached sex.
A fetish is a sexual attraction to an object or material, whether that’s the thought of using it on somebody else or just the object itself. There are plenty of fabulous fetishes out there, and it’s likely you’ve bumped into a few people who had a fetish or two. Thanks to the internet and more a more progressive dating culture, fetishes are more widely discussed and shared. For some who have a fetish the worry whether or not to reveal their desires remains though. Many still fear that the person without the fetish, may not understand or reject them because of it.
So, what do you do if someone tells you they have a fetish?
If a person with a fetish tells you about their fetish, it’s important to remember that they’re quite clearly comfortable enough with you to be open and honest about their personal sexual attractions, which is amazing. So before making a run for it, talk to your date about the fetish itself. Giving them the opportunity to share its significance, the role it place in expressing their sexuality and satisfaction, can turn what may be weird at first into something deeply intimate. Sometimes, we hear fetish and panic thinking that they’re all extreme and it can make you feel uncomfortable when it’s no reason to.
If, after you’ve had the conversation, you’re still not keen on the idea or the fetish is a dealbreaker for you, then it may be time to part ways. As harsh as it sounds, ultimately, you are doing both of you a favour since both of you desire something the other one can’t give, so it’s better to call it quits instead of trying to supress who you are and the needs you have
If are ready to give it a try and you want to incorporate it into the bedroom make sure you’re both ready to do so. Just because someone has opened up to you about their sexual attractions, it may not mean they want to try it straight away. They may still be nervous that it will push you away. Some fetishes may not be so straight forward, so go slow. Afterwards, make sure you talk to your partner about how they felt during sex, whether they enjoyed it or not and whether they’d be open to trying it again.
Not liking your partners fetishes is completely normal, not everyone likes to experiment in the bedroom and particularly when it’s something they may not completely understand. Some relationships carry on completely normal, but if your partner proceeds to make you feel uncomfortable about having a fetish or vice versa, then it might be worth looking at the value of your relationship. There is a difference between not liking something and demeaning someone for having those fetishes.
Are you looking to explore more in the bedroom? Then head over to our Naughty Pond to find like-minded singles.
“Do you want to get on top?” The question some women dread to hear. You were having a great time but now you’re just worrying about how you look or how you’re moving. It’s not always as easy as it looks, as much as you all want to channel your inner cowgirl sometimes a little guidance might help, so we’ve put a list of tips and tricks together that may help you out in your next rodeo.
First things first, being on top gives you a lot more control than you realise, you control the speed, angles, the intensity, and you also set the rhythm so it’s easier to stick to something that feels good for you.
Don’t go too fast
It’s not about speed. Great sex is about rhythm and motion, so if you don’t feel in sync with your partner then to try to reconnect with them. If you’re moving too fast, it can be more difficult for your partner to keep up and you fall out of rhythm with each other. You’ll also tire out much faster – take it slow and savour it.
Tie your hair up
You’ve probably heard someone say, ‘she means business’ after you tie your hair up. That’s because you really do. It can get steamy and sweaty during your time in the bedroom and the last thing you want to happen is for your hair to get caught or stuck to your face or neck and annoy you. It’s also ready for the cowboy to give it a little tug or pull.
Get close and personal with your partner, try whispering something dirty in their ear and see how much it turns you on. Just let go and be in the heat of the moment, letting your imagination run wild.
The Coconut Trick
According to the web spelling out the word coconut using your hips is the most exciting way to go ride your naughty bronco. Going at a medium pace and allowing you and your partner feel each letter can leave you and your partner wanting more.
Don’t jump between motions quickly
You might be excited to try all of the different motions you can think of, or maybe you’re just bored of the one you’re doing already but try not to swap and change the motions too much, it can be difficult for you and your partner to be in sync and connect with each other.
Are you wanting to try out these tips and tricks? 😉 Head over to our Naughty Pond to find fellow singles ready to have some fun.
It’s not unusual to hear that many people feel they aren’t entirely in the moment during their sexcapades. A study by Ferly (a sexual wellness app) found that 92% of women don’t feel present during sex meaning yes, it is a common experience and no, there’s nothing wrong with you.
It’s no surprise that we all get so easily distracted during sex, we have things like phones that ping with every notification leaving you wondering who texted you or what meme your best friend tagged you in this time. Not only this, but we all have over-active minds consumed by work, relationships, family and what we’re going to eat for dinner tomorrow night. But thinking about something else can completely knock you off course for a pleasurable experience. What was meant to be a fun 30 minutes upstairs, can instead be taken over by our endless mind chatter.
It’s not only our thoughts that can be our worst enemy in the bedroom, ideas of how we’re perceived by our partners can also be distracting. Do I look sexy enough? Am I shaven/not shaven enough for their liking? I’m sure you’ve found yourself wondering about something to do with your appearance at one point during sex. If so, you’ll know how distracting and insecure it can feel at times.
Feeling more present during sex is so important to having a pleasurable experience, any distractions and you can most possibly count out the probability of having an orgasm unless you get your head back into the (bed)room. Next time try these quick tips:
A digital detox
Hide your phone away from the bedroom, leave it downstairs on the sofa or put away on silent in your bedside table. This way you’ll find that when your phone buzzes you won’t even know, and you can worry about responding to the WhatsApp group chat after. The more you do this, the more you’ll allow yourself to fully be present during sex.
Focus on touch
When you feel yourself getting distracted, bring yourself back to what you feel. Focusing on how YOU feel is so essential to derive pleasure from sex. If it helps close your eyes and just concentrate on the feeling. Then bring back all the senses individually, listening to what your partner is whispering in your ear, start talking dirty and you’ll find by this point any distractions have disappeared.
Make eye contact
If you’re feeling that focusing on solely how you feel is not working, then try making eye contact with your partner. This can help to create a connection and to be honest, eye contact is pretty sexy as it is.
Asking for what you want during sex is a great way to keep your mind in the game. Don’t focus on what your partner isn’t doing, instead focus on what would make you feel better. If you look at it that way then you’ll find yourself searching more for the pleasurable feeling than the disappointing feeling, and by searching for a pleasurable feeling you’re less likely to get distracted.
Sexy time can change and differ, sometimes you may find you are completely excited by them, and you lose track of time and other times you may just pray and think of England, praying for it to be over soon.
Above all try to have fun and you’ll soon feel yourself relaxing and enjoying the experience.
If you’re looking for fun, sexy singles to help warm up your bed then check out the Naughty Pond. It might just be your lucky day😉
Are you last minute buying ready for Christmas, and you still have no idea what to get your partner? Why not try something different which is sure to excite them. We’ve put together a few items for inspiration which you can be sure will brighten up their Christmas morning (it’s probably best to keep these presents between you both😉). There are a range of items for different budgets, whether you want to really spoil them or keep this little present as a Christmas surprise.
Lovehoney Board Game
Lovehoney have a few board games which range from £9.99 to £32.99. ‘After Dark’ is their most expensive product but it makes a great date night activity. There are a variety of actions you need to complete and questions to answer, so it’s a great way to create a steamy atmosphere and find out more about each other.
If you’re looking for a cheaper option, ‘Sex!!!’ is a great game which gets straight to the point. It’s a foreplay and sexplay board game which again can be used at the end of date night.
Make bath time sexy
If your partner is one to enjoy a nice bath and even more so, when you join them. Why not treat them to some bath time products. Lovehoney sell a variety of products varying from your Sexbombs 😉 to your bubble soaks and rose petals infused with scents to liven up your sexual desires.
Sexbombs infused with Pheromone are created to arouse and relax you, prices at £7.99 it could make a great stocking filler for a lover or even for yourself this Christmas.
They also have their Apothecary range Bubble Bath, this collection is designed to sensually excite you with its scent, so you can be sure that the bathroom won’t be the only thing that’s getting steamy.
Adult Advent Calendars
These aren’t the kind you can pop to Tesco for, but they’re definitely a present that is filled with surprises. There are plenty of different advent calendars out there, but if you’re looking to splash a little more cash, Ann Summers have a 12 Nights of Indulgence product.
This gift is perfect for your girlfriend, wife, female lover or even a friend. It has a variety of products, varying from sex toys to scents and sex position cards. It’s the perfect gift to get your partner excited on the run up to Christmas, in more ways than one.
If you want to take your relationship to the next level in the bedroom, then bondage kits are something you may want to invest in if you’ve had the conversation with your partner already. There are some basic kits out there to get you started and exploring, they range in prices and items depending on whether you want to venture outside of handcuffs or you’re comfortable using just those.
Why not check out our Beginner’s Guide to BDSM whilst you’re at, you’ll find more information on bondage, making you a pro before you’ve even started.
There are a wide variety of gifts you can get your partner to spice up the bedroom. Check out websites like Ann Summers and Lovehoney to find some great steals which you can get just in time for Christmas.
If you’re looking for fellow singles to get down and dirty in some no-strings attached sex, then head over to our Naughty Pond.
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For some of us receiving oral sex or someone going down under may feel a tad too intimate. It leaves us feeling nervous, uncomfortable, and unable to relax which do not add up to be a very enjoyable sexual experience. If enjoying oral sex is important to you, then there are ways to get over these challenging feelings so you can relax and pleasure from it.
If you’re self-conscious
Many of us often don’t like oral sex because we feel uncomfortable about our intimate parts. It’s a common issue and someone pleasuring you orally can make you feel a bit vulnerable. Learning to love your genitals can help sex become a more memorable and mind-blowing experience and it’s the only way you’re going to be able to feel pleasure to the max. As with the rest of your body, genitalia come in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Time to embrace variety!
So how do I feel confident whilst someone is down *there*?
Remember to not compare your vagina (or penis) to those seen in porn or described in erotic novels. The latter are not supposed to look realistic, they’re just exaggerated fantasy versions. (Side note: Check out The Vulva Gallery to get real familiar with what different vulvas look like).
Going into oral sex your self-confidence can dip slightly but a good method to keep you focused and in the moment is to practice breathing into any orgasmic feelings, focus fully on the pleasure rather than getting distracted by the self-conscious thoughts creeping into your head. Every time a thought seems to appear, remember to breathe into the good feeling, ignoring the worries. You’ll notice that the more you do this, the better you become at it and the more you begin to enjoy the pleasure. It may not happen the right but practice these breathing methods during oral sex and when you feel most confident in your body, and you’ll start to notice the changes.
People you get down and dirty with are typically people you trust, so being able to communicate with the other person should feel easy and comfortable. If this is the case, why not share your worries? After all, a problem shared is a problem halved. You might find they offer a bit of reassurance or wise words that put you at ease.
If it feels just a bit too intimate
Oral sex is more intimate than penetrative sex, there’s no doubt about that. Someone being up close and personal can be too much for some, so it’s possible that not enjoying oral sex doesn’t stem from the act itself but more so who’s doing the deed on you.
Be honest with yourself and your sexual partner with what’s going on. If it’s casual sex you’re after, oral sex might be off the agenda for a while until you feel comfortable in the dynamic with your partner and the intimacy grows. Or, in fact, it could totally be off the table, and you can stick to penetrative sex. There should be no pressure to feel like you must participate in oral sex in order to have a good sex life. If it’s something that doesn’t feel right with you, then don’t put yourself into an uncomfortable situation. Being honest with yourself is critical so ask yourself these questions:
1. How comfortable do you feel with this partner performing oral sex on you?
2. Do you only feel uncomfortable with oral sex?
3. Do you enjoy other forms of sex with your partner?
Intimacy might be something that simply grows the more you feel comfortable with your partner, the more sex you have, the more you see each other, or intimacy might just seize to exist between you both. If it’s not, it’s time to address if that’s important to you.
If you’re wanting to find sexy singles to get exploring between the sheets with, then check out The Naughty Pond.
Whilst quickies can be exciting and get steamy, there’s a chance you don’t want every sexcapade to be over in just a couple of minutes. For the most part, sex is to be enjoyed without having to worry about time limits or being interrupted and to get the absolute most enjoyment out of every session. We’ve put a list of tips and tricks together that could help you add a few more minutes in the bedroom.
Practicing safe sex is a non-negotiable and using condoms not only keep you safe but they are said to make you last longer. Double bonus! They decrease sensitivity, so it’s recommended if you’re wanting to prolong it even further then you should use the thicker condoms.
2. Reduce Stimulation
Stimulation plays a part in bringing your body to orgasm, even if it is just a little tease before the main event. It might be smart to try desensitising gels or delay lube, to help prolong the feeling even more. You could also turn the focus to stimulating your partner so that you last longer, it’s a win-win situation.
3. Try a new location
Sometimes we get stuck in a rut when it comes to getting busy in the sheets, particularly if we’re always in the same location i.e., le boudoir. By switching up, you trick your mind out of autopilot and into novelty mode which will increase pleasure as novelty can be a huge turn on.
4. Put aside time for UNINTERRUPTED sex
We’re not saying that sex must be spontaneous to last longer but making sure there’s time for both you and your partner to get comfortable and excited is important. The last thing you want to be doing is rushing the experience so you can get to work in time for your meeting. This also means setting time aside where you know your phone can be on ‘do not disturb’ and you won’t be worrying about the calls or emails flooding in.
5. Spend more time on foreplay
Whilst foreplay may make the intercourse part shorter, it will extend the sex session as a whole and will help you both in feeling satisfied and, as they say, it’s always good to do a warm-up before any type of workout 😉.
If you’re ready to find a fellow sexy single to explore with, then head over to the Naughty Pond.