As exhilarating as first dates can be, they are also often mild panic-inducing – imma right? There’s the question of what to wear? Where to meet? What to do? What to talk about?
Sometimes the conversation flows freely, other times it needs a little, um, help and on other occasions, you get a cacophony of crickets. But we’re not here to talk about those latter moments. I want to address the ones that need a little inspiration to get going and that often turn out to be quite interesting.
The key in any conversation is ‘connection’. Imagine sitting opposite someone who keeps looking around whilst you are telling them about your last holiday. They are clearly not sending signals of ‘hey, I’m listening, keep talking!’ Practising active listening is a great way to make the other person heard and for a connection to take place. Once you noticed the connection (relaxed face and body, smiling) steer topics to things you and your date may already have in common and try to draw parallels.
Expand on what you already know about your date from your initial chats/conversations to keep the momentum flowing. As an example tell them what attracted you to their profile such as their love of reading. You can ask them about their favourite author, genre, book, place to read. If you’ve been set up by a friend discuss how each of you knows them.
If you don’t know what you have in common yet, comment on your meeting place (no moaning please!). For example, you could ask if they’ve been to one of your favourite restaurants or bars. From there you could hop onto favourite cuisines, best cocktail bars, music etc. Picking up clues what your date responds to makes them and in turn, you, relax.
We have a signal
Once you’ve established a connection you can move onto deeper topics. What’s your date good at? What are they passionate about?
‘Tell me about your family.’ Can be a very enlightening conversation. Even if their story isn’t positive you can empathise (‘Wow, that sounds really hard. How did you deal with that?’) thereby giving you an even greater chance to connect
Asking about their friends is also a good way to get to know your date on a deeper level. Check-in on their long-term friends. Why have they been friends for so long? A lack of those types of relationships is usually a bad sign.
Going even deeper by discussing their aspirations for life or philosophical questions may seem like scary topics to tackle on a first date, so you can leave these for later dates. Perhaps it’s best to avoid topics like marriage and children on the first date. Instead, ask your date about what their perfect life would look like or who they most admire and why. It may be scary to ask these types of questions on a first date but these are often the ones that unearth real compatibility. Be brave, get in there!
Be careful you don’t shoot out question after question. You’re on a date, not interrogating a suspect. Likewise, pay attention to how many questions your date is asking you. Keep in mind that fast-talking is often a sign of nerves. Try asking them if there’s anything they want to know about you might make them feel more confident to ask you a question and get them out of their nervous state. But if your date continues to talk at you rather than with you, you may need to consider if this date worth pursuing or not.
It’s ok to finish a date early (Just say: ‘This was really nice meeting you. I have another commitment in 30 minutes. Let’s get the bill.’)
We hope you find this useful. What topics do you think are great for a first date? Feel free to share them below.
Still looking for a first date? Join Plentymorefish free today and meet singles in your area.
Even the most creative and capable daters need a little bit of inspiration sometimes, so here’s our list for date night ideas in and around Manchester.
First on our list is Mini Golf. This a great activity for couples as it’s active and a lot of fun. When you’re up and moving around it’s easier to avoid awkward pauses or dead conversation. You can talk about the game, or talk around the game with natural breaks build in. You can talk, you can laugh, all while doing something. When you’re done, grab a snack and laugh about the putt you missed. Visit Tree Top Adventure Golf at The Printworks and take yourself and your date on an Amazonian adventure.
Next up is some good old-fashioned Magic! If you’re a fan of Disney, singalongs and fancy dress then check out the Immersive Magical Brunch. They describe the experience as a huge Disney inspired adult boozy sing-along party. I mean, come on! What’s not to love? Get your costumes ready and put on those glass slippers. Grab tickets over at Feverup.
If you’d rather party like it’s 1922 then make sure you head on over to Long Island (O2 Ritz Manchester) for a night of Razzle Dazzle. A lavish and extravagant affair has been assembled to bring you into the secret world of prohibition times gone by. Be sure to be quick though. This is a one night only affair. To Party like Gatsby visit https://events.partylikegatsby.eu/manchester-cabaret-noir/
If ‘dinner & drinks’ is more your thing then you can’t go wrong with The Liar’s Club – one of Manchester’s best cocktail bars. It’s dark and atmospheric interior filled with tiki torches, bamboo and wooden furniture will transport you straight to the Caribbean. The Liars Club offers a staggering choice of exotic tiki cocktails. Why not learn to re-create your favourite cocktails at home at one of their excellent cocktail masterclasses? For more details check out their website https://www.theliarsclub.co.uk/
Still looking for a date? Hop on over to Plentymorefish.com and find singles in your area.
Happy New Year everyone!
We know January is often a tight month budget-wise but fear not! Your dating game doesn’t have to suffer, so we’ve compiled a list of our favourite wallet-friendly dating ideas for all you lovelies in the Brum area.
Jazz it up, baby!
If you love the sound of the jazz and blues get yourself down to the Hare and Hounds in King’s Heath who are hosting several dedicated nights starting January 11th. Take your date and enjoy fantastic live music from some of the country’s premier jazz and blues musicians. Entry is free!
The Great Escape
A locked room and a race against the clock.
You and your teammates have just 60 minutes to solve a series of amazing and puzzling challenges and escape the evil Japanese Warlord, find Blackbeard’s treasure or defeat the Nazis. The choice – and thrill – is yours! Are you up to the challenge? Tickets start from £20 pp for 4-6 players.
This one is for the carnivorous foodies among you (sorry vegetarians/vegans!). If you haven’t tried Polish cuisine, you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise and The Karczma in Digbeth serves up a feast! The menu contains numerous Polish classics including Pierogi (stuffed dumplings), Berszcz (Beetroot soup), Pickled Herring, Zurek (Pickled Rye Flour Soup) served from a hollowed-out loaf of bread, as well as a whole host of grilled meats and fish. Pricewise it’s also very reasonable.
Did you know that darts is very often a couples or dating event in Japan? Many men bring a ‘date’ to play darts as it’s considered ‘user-friendly’ for all types of people and players. So why not visit Birmingham’s Flight Club in Temple Street? Their team reinvented darts for the modern world offering a whole new level of fun with fast-paced, multi-player games.
Add to that a mouth-watering food menu, a signature slushie and delicious cocktails and you have the perfect date night mix.
We hope you enjoyed our suggestions! Let us know your best kept dating tip in your area.
Still looking for that special someone? Hop on over to Plentymorefish.com and find singles in your area today!
You have been single for some time now and regularly go on dates in your attempt to find Mr/Miss Right. Yet, somehow it’s not happening and you are slowly beginning lose hope that you will ever find that special person. This is natural and it happened to me too. I was single for almost 2 years and each time I went on a date, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, I hope he’s The One!” Needless to say that my high expectations were dashed each time.
So, what’s changed? I told a friend about my situation, and true to her straight shooting character, she bluntly told me to, “just chill”. I was hurt and miffed at first. Didn’t she know how important this was? How serious?
Recalling my most recent dates, I was embarrassed to think of my behaviour, realising I had been trying way too hard and as a result I had scared them all away.
That’s when it hit me. I had turned into Datezilla!
Once my perspective had shifted though, I was able to see dates for what they are, a great opportunity to meet interesting people and I started to make the most of them. I began to have fun and paid attention to the person I was with, rather than analysing each and every word, movement or signal. I began to relax and so did my dates. And it wasn’t long before that special someone popped into my life without me even trying. Funny how these things work out.
So, my dating advice to you singles out there is:
- Listen more, talk less
- Have more fun
- Stop trying so hard
- Be yourself
That’s all you can do. Dating should be fun, not a chore. So, in the words of my (brutally honest) friend, “Just chill.”
If you liked this blog please tell us why. We’d love to hear your thoughts.
We feel it’s of huge importance to meet the demands of all our customers and with many of you having increasingly busy lifestyles, it often leaves you with very limited time to find dates. Online dating is a great way round this and with mobile it can be even easier. We want to give you what you’re looking for – a great dating experience on your phone. This is why *……..drum roll………* we’ve just totally rebuilt our great dating sites and making it even more easy for you to access Plenty More Fish on your mobile.
With our simple and straightforward mobile optimised web presence and members areas you no longer have to wait for your computer to load up to check who’s messaged you. You can now date completely on the move!
Give the all new Plenty More Fish mobile site a try by simply typing www.plentymorefish.com into your mobile browser. Enjoy!
Our member of the week this week is Sidney the Snowman. We don’t usually give shout-outs to snowmen but as Christmas is fast approaching and with it being the season of goodwill and all that, it’s only fair.
So what’s Sid like and what’s he looking for? He’s a couple of days old (32 in snowmen years) and is looking for a snow woman of similar age. He’s already dated penguins, reindeer and even tried his luck with a fairy once – unfortunately that fizzled out. It’s not that he doesn’t like other Christmas folk… they just can’t seem to hack the cold. He’s back for another season and looking for someone to have a few laughs and mainly, chill out with.
Will Sid find who he’s looking for on Plenty More Fish? Find out on your TV from the 20th December – 31st December!
Sidney (or Sid, as we like to call him) will be appearing on various Sky Channels from the 20th – 31st December. We will also be posting the ad on our blog and YouTube so keep an eye out for that!
Chris just sent us this wonderful email:
Maria and I met on the site and everything is going great. We are so happy that we have found each other and without your site this just would not have been possible.
I first joined the site as my wife left me and I wanted friendship, hoping for more. I found the site easy to use and then one day I got a wink from Maria. After chatting online for hours we met the next evening and hit it off straight away. It’s been nearly 2 months now and we have fallen in love. I know the future will be wonderful and I hope people using this site don’t give up. There is someone for everyone.
Chris & Maria
Thanks guys for sending us your story. We love, love, love to hear them.
If you have a success story you wish to share, please send us an email.