Falling in love is such a special feeling and when you realise you’re in deep, it can be the most incredible feeling to experience with your partner. But sometimes, lust and excitement can be mistaken for love, and we find ourselves quickly falling out of ‘love’ with this person weeks later. So, next time you’re sat at home wondering whether it’s real or just pheromones, remember some of these key clues.
You want them to be part of your whole world
You want them to be part of your everyday life, meeting your family and friends on every occasion. You want to share every detail about your day, and soon enough you’ve realised you’ve been on the phone for three hours. Having them in your life fills you with happiness and contentment – a key indicator that you’re falling in love.
You are kind of freaking out
It’s easy to over-analyse text messages you’ve sent to each other and replay interactions you’ve had over and over in your head. It’s standard for when you’ve just start dating someone you’re excited about. But it’s said that if you’re still notice slight changes in stress or anxiety after a few dates, it could be a sign that you’ve caught real feelings. It’s mostly anxiety over the small things, you spend time worrying about what you’re going to wear, even though they’re only coming round for a takeaway and movie date. You find yourself running to the bathroom to brush your teeth before they wake up in the morning. It should be a freak out for a positive reason.
You find yourself picking up their traits
It won’t be long until you find yourself picking up the same phrases and mannerisms your partner has. When they said that “two becomes one”, they weren’t lying. All of a sudden, you’re both becoming very similar, but that’s not such a bad thing.
You want to say the big ‘L’ word
You’ll find yourself wanting to say the three important words to your partner. You know it’s love and not just lust when you’re intrigued in what makes them tick and what their interests are. If you all you suddenly want to do is to listen to what’s on their mind and look forward to having conversations with them about the future, you are already well on your way to ‘Luuurve Town’.
‘We’ is starting to become the new ‘I’
It doesn’t feel weird to RSVP to your Aunt Sarah’s wedding that’s next year, because you know they’ll still be in your life. This is a huge sign of commitment, that you’re so sure they’ll be around for the long run. They start to become part of your life in every way, friends invite you and your partner out rather than you. Your parents address the Christmas card to you and them. Immersing them into your life in the small ways which are personal to you is a huge sign you’re falling in love and that you see a future with them.
If you’re ready to fall head over heels for your person, then head over to Plentymorefish where you can find fellow loving singles.
The first step to getting stuck into online dating is creating your profile. You want this to encapsulate everything that is you; your hobbies, your quirks, the bonds you have with people, your likes, and dislikes. Making sure that what you put out there is 100% honest and it gives people the best idea of who YOU are. To give you a helping hand we’ve put together a list of tips to use next time you fancy like sprucing up your profile.
Ask a friend/family for help
Too often we don’t sell ourselves enough because we worry that we look arrogant or obnoxious. If you struggle to capture your personality in print, get someone else in on it, like a close friend or family member. They know you best and it’s a great way to boost your profile. More often than not, they know what we want more than we know ourselves, so they can make sure you’re appealing to the right people.
Think about all your positive attributes and write those down. You want to make sure that your profile is beaming positivity. You might enjoy the self-depreciating joke, but to someone else that may not come across the same way. You want to entice people into getting to know you more, so make sure your personality shines through the words that describe you.
Try to steer clear of uploading group photos
Scrolling through photos trying to decipher who it is that has the profile, is not how you want to be spending the evening and to be quite honest, it can be a reason why you’re not getting a lot of matches. Try to stick to clear photos of just you on your profile, even if you have to crop the rest of your friends out (sorry guys!).
Check your spelling and grammar
A survey completed by Elite Singles in the UK found that the most despised trait online is poor spelling and grammar so now might be a good time to check your dating profile for any errors. You wouldn’t go into a job interview with a poorly written cover letter. Give your dating profile the same amount of attention.
You want to give people enough insight about you to match with you, whilst also leaving some behind to slip into conversation. Give people a reason to message you, so leave a bit of mystery behind. A short paragraph or two should give someone enough detail about you and your personality.
Don’t talk about dating
Talking about dating itself or online dating in your profile, can be a way of coming across negatively. It may sound light-hearted suggesting that ‘none of the other dating apps are working so I thought I’d give this one a go’ but it can give people the wrong impression. Instead focus on what you’re looking for, like someone to binge watch The Office with, or someone who enjoys travelling and put a positive spin on that.
Dating can be difficult enough, so give yourself the advantage and take some time and put in some effort to complete your profile. You won’t regret it!
Head over to Plentymorefish where you can find fellow singles who are looking for love.
We all experience jealousy one way or another. Whether that’s in a relationship, between our friends or maybe even towards a co-worker. Jealousy is a normal feeling but unless it is understood for what it is and dealt with in a healthy way, it can have a destructive effect on our relationships. So, we’ve put together a list of tips to help you deal with the green-eyed monster in a healthy and mature way.
Be supportive of each other’s feelings
As with most things, communication is key. Letting your partner know what situations make you feel uncomfortable and insecure can help you feel more secure and understood. Express how it makes you feel without the need for jealous fits or drama. Get your point across factually and speak from your perspective rather than accusing them of something for which you have no proof. Your partner may think nothing of it when they are texting that co-worker so go easy on them and give them the benefit of the doubt. And if the roles are reversed, it’s time to listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective. Could you be more sensitive to how your behaviour makes them feel?
Know that jealousy in small doses is normal
No matter how full of love and loyalty your partner is, it is still ok to communicate when we feel that jealous twinge. It isn’t a bad signs but shows that you still care about the relationship and that the thought of your partner being with somebody else makes you feel a bit queasy.
Check your expectations
We all have expectations of a relationship; loyalty and honesty are top of the list for many. Sometimes though, our expectations are unhealthy and set you up for bouts of jealousy. Not allowing your partner to see their friend, because he/she is of the opposite sex, is one of those. The key with expectations and rules is that they are communicated clearly and fully.
Look at your toxic habits
Sometimes we set ourselves up to experience these negative emotions, maybe it’s because we believe it’s too good to be true or maybe we simply don’t trust them for some other reason. So, we get ourselves into toxic habits of checking their phone whilst they’re in the shower, or sneakily checking out their ex on social media. These things aren’t going to help you, no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you’ll ‘feel better’ after. You might get a feeling of relief which will last half hour, but you’ll soon find yourself doing it more often and feeling more anxious and jealous. Ultimately, these ways of dealing with jealousy will only push your partner away.
Recognise that if something was to happen, you will be okay
Heartbreak and jealousy can be hard to deal with and no matter how jealous you are in a relationship, know that it will not prevent your partner from doing anything silly or disloyal like sliding into someone else’s dm’s or going for drinks with a co-worker. Trust is a huge part of any relationship but getting comfortable with the fact that a broken heart will not end you, is the first step to dealing with jealousy.
Communicating with your partner about your worries and making sure that this feeling doesn’t take over is so important for a healthy relationship. The more you communicate, the more likely your partner will be able to look out for things that may trigger your feelings jealousy at times and the more reassured you will feel.
If you’re ready to find love, check out fellow singles on Plentymorefish.
Let’s be honest, rejecting someone is awkward. You’re not sure what to say without causing offence and you don’t want to leave them confused or thinking something is wrong with them. Being rejected isn’t a nice feeling, so it’s important that we do it properly with as much damage control as possible. We’ve put together a list of tips when it comes to how to reject someone nicely, so next time you’re being approached by someone who doesn’t tickle your fancy just remember these tips.
Focus on your needs
Let them know that you don’t think that your needs are being met. Being open and honest about it allows them to realise that the issue isn’t necessarily anything to do with them but about compatibility. Mention that you hope they find someone more fitting to what they’d want.
Don’t leave them in the unknown
The last thing you want to do is leave the other person confused about why you’re not responding or you’re pushing back the date for the 3rd time. Make it easier on them and let them know where you’re at and why you’re no longer interested.
Be clear with them, if you don’t think they’re the right person for you then make sure they know that so that you’re not giving off the message to wait around until you’re ready for a relationship etc.
Talk about your chemistry
When we meet somebody, we all want to experience that ‘spark’ or ‘click’. Knowing we have both emotional and sexual chemistry with the other person makes for a great relationship, but when one or both are missing it can make it difficult to want to say yes to the next date without fearing you’re leading the other one on. So be honest, tell them you’re great but I don’t feel like we have chemistry and that’s important to me. It’s a swift and kind way of doing it, and they can’t argue about the things that you don’t feel.
Accept that it’ll probably hurt them
Let’s be honest, being rejected by a crush feels painful, especially if you’ve been on a date with them and you feel like there is potential. Unfortunately, you cannot help this happening, it’s best to be kind and clear. Picture it as if you’re the one that’s being rejected and tell them as nicely as you’d like to be told.
Although our tips have generally talk about being open and honest with the other person about your needs and why you’re not interested, remember that you don’t owe anyone a detailed justification. Just let them know you’re not interested, and you don’t want to take it any further. It’s not harsh, it’s just direct and clear.
If you’re in search of some fellow singles ready for commitment, then head over to Plentymorefish.
Rejection. We’ve all felt it, whether that’s from a relationship, a job or a friend. We’ve all been there. But rejection in love hurts, it can be ruthless in destroying self-confidence and sometimes hard to bounce back from. Even the likes of Brad Pitt and Zac Efron have probably felt rejection in their life. Some people get up and bounce back and some it consumes. So to help you bounce back, we’ve put together 4 ways of getting over rejection.
First, let’s scratch the word ‘rejection’
It’s important to remember that the person who rejected made a choice against you and not because of you. 90% of the time, it’s actually because of their own state of mind and desires rather than you personally. When you think of it as them and not you, you realise it’s not your burden to deal with and you shouldn’t have to cope with it. Essentially, view it as happening for you, not to you. As many people say, ‘It’s a blessing in disguise’.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel valued
Being rejected can be a bit of a dampener on the ego and may have us doubting our own self-worth. Rejection ultimately unsettles our need to belong. That’s why it’s important to spend time with people who make you feel loved and valued, whether that’s simply going for a walk or grabbing a bite to eat. Hanging out with a friend who accepts and values you will remind you that you’re valued. Opening up actually really helps with coping with rejection and can be a saving grace, whether that’s simply to vent about the situation or having a reassuring pep talk.
As Ariana Grande once said, “Thank You, Next” and this is exactly the attitude you want to have. Those that reject you are helping you figure out more information about what you want and don’t want from a partner and are even helping you learn more about yourself, whether that’s how to be more resilient or develop the sensitive side of yourself, every partner is there to teach you a lesson.
A good way to look at it is that every rejection is just you being freed up for the right person. It’s true when they say, ‘you have to kiss some frogs before finding your person’.
Make a list of everything that makes you great
For those that struggle, try giving yourself a compliment. If this is too hard for you to do right now, ask a friend to tell you what they love about you so they can remind you how great you are. By making a list of things that make you a great person, you’re helping to boost your self-esteem and in turn curb any negative self-talk. It’s essentially a way of affirming our own worth and not letting rejection dampen our confidence.
If you’re finding yourself wanting to get back out there and delve into the world of dating, check out Plentymorefish to find your match.
The past 18 months have been tough, we’ve been through some confusing times and it’s no surprise that many of us have struggled throughout it. Some of us have been lucky, having family and housemates to keep us company through the madness, but some of us have been on our own making it difficult to re-emerge into this new world trying to navigate the world of dating at the same time.
Take things slow
You should know that it’s completely normal to feel nervous about dating again, we all only just got used to getting half dressed for a date over a Zoom call, but now we actually have to match the bottoms to the top we’re wearing! But before this, you need to ask yourself whether you’re ready to step back into the dating world again. Is it important for you to be dating or are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
Don’t be tricked into thinking that time is “running out” and start rushing into relationships in the hope that they’re the ‘one’. Yes, time has passed whilst we’ve been lockdown, but your priorities may have changed, you may want to do different things with your life after experiencing so little in so long. So, now might be a good time to re-evaluate what you want from a relationship before searching for your dream man/woman.
Prepare for dating
Whilst the dating world is not the hunger games, it’s still best to prepare before joining the arena again. Remember, you’re not the only one who is hesitant about getting back out there. You might be eager and anxious all at once – worrying not only about the date itself but also about any restrictions that are in place. Do I need my mask? Has my date taken a test?
To stop these nerves, it’s best to establish boundaries as much as you can with your date and with yourself. If you’re worried about testing and masks, research the date location to check out any restrictions which they may still have in place (it’s always handy to keep a mask with you anyway), discuss any concerns with your date before the date. Getting these worries out of the way will ease your mind and will only leave room for the ‘normal’ pre-date jitters we all get.
Make sure you feel like your best self
Why not treat yourself to a new outfit or a new fragrance you’ve been wanting to try? Dating is all about finding someone who matches your best self, so be the best version of you by being comfortable and confident. We’re not saying you have to change your appearance or become a whole different person but do what makes you feel good. Whether that’s a new outfit or a self-care ritual.
Above all, it’s important you feel comfortable going back into the world of dating, so if, for now, meeting up with a date seems a little daunting for you then try something a bit more laid back and more your style. Virtual dating worked for a while during lockdown, there’s no harm in it sticking round a while longer.
If you’re ready to venture into the world of dating Plentymorefish to help you along the way. Join now to find fellow singles looking for love.
There may come a time in a relationship where you question whether carrying on with the relationship is the best thing to do. You may have a gut feeling something isn’t working or maybe you’re going through a rough patch where you and your partner are arguing more frequently. You may find yourself wondering whether you should stay in the relationship or move on, protecting yourself. Here are some tell-tale signs that the relationship may be coming to an end:
You’re doubting everything
It’s normal to be worrying about whether your relationship is going to work when you’re going through a rough patch. But if something is niggling at you, and you keep thinking that this person is the wrong person, you should not ignore it. Generally, listen to your instinct if it’s telling you something isn’t right.
You have a feeling you won’t regret making the decision
You may get a feeling of relief when initially ending a relationship, whether that’s because you don’t have to put up with their old habits anymore or because you get your freedom back. But it’s not that moment of time you want to think about when you’re considering breaking up. You want to think about the months to come. Are you going to start missing them again? Will you be texting them asking to take you back now you’ve had your bit of freedom? Or will you still be relieved that you’re not stuck in that relationship? You need to be honest with yourself at this point and you know whether you’re trying to convince yourself that you won’t regret it. But if you genuinely feel that way, it may be time to call it quits.
Life prospects and values start to become an issue
When you first started dating, you both had the same life goals. You wanted to have kids or travel to Australia to sky dive over the beach or maybe you both just wanted to start your own business or had similar career prospects. As a relationship blossoms, sometimes we find ourselves on different pages and for some this may become an issue. Some things are less significant and can be resolve with communication. But when perspective on lives change and what each person wants from them, this is where issues can form. Same goes for values, if you and your partner differ on a major value – maybe generosity – it can cause conflict.
You’re convincing yourself to stay
When you’re in denial about an ending relationship, you may try to ignore any negatives you feel towards your partner or ignore the fact you’re always arguing when you’re together. You ignore these things because you don’t want to acknowledge the truth, maybe it’s out of fear of the relationship ending or you don’t want to be on your own. When you’re noticing yourself going against your instincts, it may a sign that this relationship won’t last.
You’re not feeling good about yourself
Insecurities are normal, everybody has them in some way. But if you’re finding that, when you’re around your partner you have little to no self-confidence ,,then this a red flag in a relationship. Being around the right partner is meant to make you feel good about yourself. You want someone that celebrates the amazing things about you, not find ways of ruining your self-confidence.
Making the decision to end a relationship is something that requires honesty with yourself and your partner. Communication should always be the top priority, so make sure you and your partner know where you both stand.
If you’re ready to move on and find your person, then head over to Plentymorefish.com.
Turn offs are a typical question we get asked when we start dating someone, but the trouble is for some it’s difficult to answer until they experience something that gives them ‘the ick’. Sometimes things happen that makes our nose scrunch or just send a signal to our body which makes us want to run. Here’s a list of some turn offs that we can think of.
Have you ever been out on a date with someone who is rude to the waiter or bartender? There’s something about the lack of manners that screams red flag to me and makes me want to run out of the first door I see. Someone who tries to belittle another in an attempt to make someone else laugh. It does not play out in your favour and it’s just embarrassing for your date.
Lack of ambition.
At the start of dating, women want to be wrapped up in deep conversation to connect on an intellectual level. They want to hear about your passions and ambitions, and where you want to go in life. You’re dating to look for a partner, someone to grow with and celebrate your successes with.
A few as a joke is fine, but if you’re using pick-up lines proudly, I’ve got to tell you they will not work and more than likely will cringe out your date. Not what you want, is it? She will roll her eyes and ultimately find you a bit cringey.
Insulting your exes.
No, we don’t want to hear about your ex and how great the relationship was and how you’re so sad it’s over. But we also don’t want to hear how every ex you’ve been with is crazy; there’s a common denominator in that equation and it most certainly is not the women you’re dating.
Putting all women in the same box.
There’s nothing worse than someone being surprised because you’re not like the conceptual idea of a woman they have in their head. Men who don’t see women as individual’s and put every woman in the same box can be a serious turn off.
Eyeing up another woman.
Trust me when I tell you women see EVERYTHING. So, that woman that just walked past that you were giving the side eyes to? Yes, we saw that. We get it, you’re single and free and you can do as you please, but when on a date with a woman, she wants to feel special. Eyeing up every woman that walks into the restaurant makes her feel like she’s already in competition for your attention which is not the way a relationship should start.
Talking about yourself.
If the topic of conversation always resorts back to you and your date can’t get a word in edgeways, then I wouldn’t bet on a second date. A conversation works two ways and if it appears to be one person talking and another listening the whole time, then it can become frustrating.
Are you ready to find someone who ticks all your boxes? Head over to plentymorefish.com.
The million-dollar question when you’re in the early stages of a relationship; ‘Does he love me’. To help you solve the mystery behind men, we’ve compiled a list of indicators that he’s in it for the long run.
He’s always in communication with you
Even when you’re not together he wants to talk to you. Whether that’s simply sending you a message settling the previous night’s debate on whether chocolate belongs in the fridge or not, or whether they’re simply updating you on their day.
He compromises for you
Maybe he hates that TV series you’re begging him to watch, but he’ll say yes to make you happy. Or maybe you want to order in a Chinese, but he can’t stand it. Either way he’s compromising which is a big sign he’s falling for you. Love softens the heart and selflessness is an important sign of healthy relationship.
‘We’ or ‘Us’ replaces ‘I’
When you become part of his plans it’s a very good indicator that he’s feeling the love. Does he talk about taking you to his friend’s wedding? Or maybe even jokes about how good looking your future children together will be? He’s no longer thinking of himself as a bachelor, you’re now a big part of his life.
He leans on you for support
You’re his best friend. You listen to him and give him a shoulder to lean on when he needs it. If you’re his go-to for advice or to vent, then it’s a good chance he trusts you the most.
You both laugh together
If you find that you’re both typically in fits of giggles when you’re around each other, it’s undeniable you have fun and act silly together, which is a solid foundation for a relationship. A study completed by college students found that the more a couple laughed together, the stronger the chemistry between them both.
He’s being more optimistic lately
If you find that your guy is seeing more of the brighter side of life, it’s probably because he’s felling more comfortable and confident in a future with you.
He treats you like you’re the only person in the room
Maybe you’re at a party with other people but he can’t take his eyes off you or he’s trying to get you involved in conversations. It’s a good sign that he’s in love with you. His attentive side has started to show.
He cares about your friends and family
The most important people in your life suddenly also become his most important people. If he loves you, he’ll make the effort with these people in your life. He takes notes of group dynamics and pays attention to what your parents say.
Not found Mr Right yet? Sign up to Plentymorefish.com and start flirting with singles looking for love.
Love languages were a foreign concept until the 90’s. We all had an idea of what made us look at our partner with puppy dog eyes or made our stomach flutter. But understanding these aspects in order to make a relationship work didn’t occur until Gary Chapman wrote a book on the five love languages in 1992.
So, what are they?
The five love languages are as follows:
1. Acts of Service
This is a non-verbal form of love. It is the idea that you complete a task for your partner that you know they would like. Maybe your partner needs their car cleaned or you cook their favourite food. The acts are often selfless and encourage you to listen to your partner’s needs.
It’s the most common amongst all of the other love languages. It is often mis-construed however, as people mistake it for being about the items you give, and the price attached to it. Whereas those whose love language is gift-giving focus more on the thought behind the gift, which shows your partner that you’re thinking about them and that you actively listen to them. The true meaning behind gift-gifting is the sentimentality of the gift itself.
3. Physical Touch
As it says on the tin, it’s a physical form of love. It communicates compassion, joy and sympathy towards your partner, it’s more about desiring the physical touch like holding hands and feeling close to them through affectionate acts, rather than desiring sex and fulfilling your sensual needs.
4. Quality Time
Connections built around this love language are often strong relationships. For people who thrive from this love language, their priority is spending meaningful time with their partner. This means no distractions, just one-to-one undivided attention. For example, watching a film together on the sofa is not an example of quality time. But if you were to turn the TV off and start a conversation, it can become a significant act to those who enjoy quality time.
5. Words of Affirmation
You might find some people are naturally more inclined to be open about their feelings whilst dating, this could be because their love language is words of affirmation. Verbal expression of love is what is important to them. Supportive and appreciative words are an expression of their love and gratitude. It doesn’t always have to be verbal; it could be written notes on the fridge or love letters left on your bedside table.
Why are love languages actually important?
Although we may think that most of the love languages appeal to us, some stand out without us realising. This is why it’s important to understand which love language we hold at a higher value in a relationship. You and your partner may not always share the same love language and that’s perfectly fine but knowing what makes your partner swoon can be really important for preserving that romance you had to begin with. Once we begin to understand how each of us work in a relationship, you notice that it begins to blossom and grows stronger.
Communication plays a significant role in this. It allows you to explain what is most important to you and how you can both meet each other’s emotional needs. No person is the same in a relationship, everyone expresses their love differently and by communicating between each other you’re avoiding that risk of disappointment.
If these things aren’t communicated, a relationship can become difficult as you may find yourself trying to give love in different ways as to what your partner may desire. The conversation shouldn’t stop, it should be on-going throughout the relationship. As people grow and change, their love languages may also shift with it so communication should be easy and comfortable. Saying this, if you find yourself drained trying to put effort into a relationship where your partner is critical or isn’t satisfied, it could be a red flag.
Essentially, understanding each other’s love language is how relationships become stronger and play a fundamental part in making a relationship a success. Are you ready to find someone to talk your language in love? Head over to Plentymorefish.com.