We all have different expectations when it comes to dating online and offline. Some may want to date casually, whilst others are looking to find a partner for life. For those of you who fall into the latter category, dating can become frustrating at times, especially when you have been on the market for a while. Sadly, no matter how great you are at dating, there are simply no guarantees that you will find that perfect catch right away.
While questionnaires and personality tests can help narrow down your search, they can only get you so far. You may be perfect for each other on paper but when you meet in person, there may not be any chemistry. So at times, you may feel like giving up and resigning yourself to eternal singledom. If that’s the case, you may be suffering from what we call the dreaded Dating Doldrums.
When suffering from Dating Doldrums, you may adopt a negative mindset and could even cause you to make bad decisions about who you date, how often you date, and how you respond to potential dates. The key to kick the DD’s in the Bum-Bum is to focus on having fun again. When you treat each new date is an opportunity to meet someone interesting and as an opportunity to have fun, socialise or to simply enjoy life, the whole process takes on a different flavour. So why put pressure on yourself?
The more you live in the moment, the more enjoyable your life and dating life will become. I hope this post has got you thinking and I shall leave you with a quote that I feel we should all live by:
My advice for life: dance and sing your song while the party is still on. ~ Rasheed Ogunlaru
Here at Plenty More Fish we firmly believe that dating should be fun. So we ask you: “When was the last time you went on a date simply with the intention of enjoying yourself?”
You have been single for some time now and regularly go on dates in your attempt to find Mr/Miss Right. Yet, somehow it’s not happening and you are slowly beginning lose hope that you will ever find that special person. This is natural and it happened to me too. I was single for almost 2 years and each time I went on a date, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, I hope he’s The One!” Needless to say that my high expectations were dashed each time.
So, what’s changed? I told a friend about my situation, and true to her straight shooting character, she bluntly told me to, “just chill”. I was hurt and miffed at first. Didn’t she know how important this was? How serious?
Recalling my most recent dates, I was embarrassed to think of my behaviour, realising I had been trying way too hard and as a result I had scared them all away.
That’s when it hit me. I had turned into Datezilla!
Once my perspective had shifted though, I was able to see dates for what they are, a great opportunity to meet interesting people and I started to make the most of them. I began to have fun and paid attention to the person I was with, rather than analysing each and every word, movement or signal. I began to relax and so did my dates. And it wasn’t long before that special someone popped into my life without me even trying. Funny how these things work out.
So, my dating advice to you singles out there is:
- Listen more, talk less
- Have more fun
- Stop trying so hard
- Be yourself
That’s all you can do. Dating should be fun, not a chore. So, in the words of my (brutally honest) friend, “Just chill.”
If you liked this blog please tell us why. We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Once upon a time there was a damsel in distress. She wailed and cried for her prince to rescue her from the evil entrapment of the king troll. Look! There he comes! Brave and courageous, he slays the troll’s army of fire spitting dragons and after he defeats them, he climbs to the top of the tower to rescue the beautiful princess. Then, on the back of his trusty steed, they ride into the sunset and live Happily Ever After.
Fast forward to the 21st century.
Modern day woman no longer wants to be seen as a helpless creature waiting to be rescued. And right she is! Women want to be seen and treated as the strong and independent beings they are, but if we are being honest with ourselves, women paradoxically ALSO want a manly knight to sweep us off our feet.
But what does this mean for chivalry?
Now cue the poor man who has to figure it all out. “When does she want me to open the door or pay the bill and when not?” No wonder men think we are mysterious creatures from another planet. Why can’t we just say what we want? Men don’t seem to have a problem with that. Or does that kill the romance?
Personally, I love it if a man to opens doors for me or helps me into my coat. That doesn’t mean I’m not equal. I think it’s nice if a man treats me respectfully. It’s all part of making a good impression, part of our courtship. If he’d treat me like one of his mates, I would think he’s not that interested. But that’s me.
Ladies, how do you feel about chivalry? Do you like it or would you rather not have it?
Gents, what are your thoughts? Do you want to be chivalrous and are you afraid to offend a woman? Or do you feel equality should mean equality?
Afternoon lovely dating folk!
We are currently getting inundated with messages from happy couples who met on Plenty More Fish. Now we don’t want to share this to brag (well, maybe a just little) but to show you that this online dating stuff really works!
So, if you are single, why not give it a try? Registration with Plenty More Fish is completely free and only takes a couple of minutes. Happy Fishin’!
Remember last Tuesday when we posted Tim & Sherrie’s story? Well, that was Tim’s version of events, and now it’s time to share Sherrie’s.
I really thought going on a date site wasn’t for me. All I can say is I have met the most amazing man and I haven’t been so happy for many years. I started speaking to Tim just after new years day. Tim would wink and I would do the same. After a few weeks I gave up, then out of the blue, Tim asked me if I wanted to meet. A week later we met at London Bridge 27 Jan 13 at midday, Tim wanted the day to be special. We went on to Covent garden, well the day was special. We were like kids again, I have not felt so comfortable in a long time, it was magic. After spending 10 hours together, we text the next day and been together ever since.
We are going on holiday soon, I’ve meet the parents and Tim’s kids. We plan to go to the North East soon, so Tim can meet my family. Tim has also been invited to my sister’s wedding next years, so fingers crossed we might be next [Maz: keeping our fingers firmly crossed for you two].
I’m not a person to fall in love, but when we met a London Bridge, it was magic. For the first time in my life, I’m really happy.
Thank You, Sherrie and Tim xx
We love that both took the time to write in and share their story will us all. We are thrilled for you both and wish you a wonderful time and long and happy future.
Your Plenty More Fish team xxx
Time to spread the luurve and share another success story with you. Say ‘Hi’ to Tim and Sherrie who met on Plenty More Fish!
I decided that I was at the stage in my life where I felt ready to move on, my wife passed away late 2010. I posted up to date photos, a totally honest profile and used the sites messaging service to begin with, trying to be interesting but also interested in the people I was talking to. Luckily I seemed to hit it off with one person in particular (Sherrie). Within a week we had swapped phone numbers and were talking most nights. We agreed to meet and went for lunch in Covent Garden. We had a great time and actually spent the whole afternoon and evening together! We have been in regular contact since.
Tim & Sherrie
We love Tim’s positive attitude toward dating and it looks like it paid off. We hope you guys have a great future together.
Maz & Plenty More Fish Team x
Easter bank holiday is just around the corner (can we get a YAY?) and we hope all of you lovely peeps have a date lined up. Perhaps you are still looking for some things to do? Fret not fellow daters, your Plenty More Fish Team has been busy researching the wibbly wobbly web and found these cracking date suggestions for you:
Brighton, Bristol, London and Oxford
What better way to spend a date than to treat your sweet to some sweet treats? During the Easter weekend Brighton, Bristol, London and Oxford are all throwing their own Chocolate Festivals. Each event will be host to dozens of stalls showcasing artisan produced chocolate made from pure ingredients. You and your date will find everything from hot chocolate to chocolate cakes, chocolate churros to chocolate pretzels, chocolate chilli to chocolate cocktails. Total chocolate heaven if you ask us.
But that’s not all. If you want to combine pleasure with knowledge, you can also learn about the goodness of real chocolate, take lessons on how to create your own chocolate or drop in at a Masterclass cookery demonstration and pick up recipes to turn your next dinner date into a dark and delicious delight. Sweet!
For a theatrical and musical feast, head over to Birmingham, where Cameron Mackintosh’s spectacular new production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera is currently showing at the Birmingham Hippodrome. It’s a story of mystery and unrequited love and a real treat for the eyes and ears. Add a little extra and indulge in mouth-watering canapés and Champagne, served at your own reserved foyer table either pre-show or during the interval. Click here for pricing and to book tickets. To get more details on the show specials click this link.
If you prefer sampling the malty delights of real beers and ales, then Manchester is the place to be. Running through the Easter weekend, The Fisherman’s Retreat is host to the Beer Festival, giving you an opportunity to enjoy the taste of 40 local real ales as well as beers in wooden casks plus entertainment. The entertainment on Friday and Saturday is priced at £12 and £6 on Sunday, so perfect for the more money conscious dater. Featured bands are:
Friday: Phil Lyons and his New Vintage Band
Saturday: NorthWest 12 – 12 piece soul band
Sunday: Quadrille Ceilidh Band
To book tickets, call 01706 825314 or visit www.fishermansretreat.com.
For a dose of cultural history and a romantic stroll in breathtaking scenery, visit Yorkshire’s Castle Howard. This magnificent 18th-century mansion is set within 1,000 acres of stunning landscaping which are located in the Howardian Hills, an area of outstanding natural beauty. And during the bank holiday the grounds will be home to the Easter Fair offering vintage rides, sweet stalls and sheep racing.
Castle Howard is also a very popular wedding destination, which may come in handy some day. I wouldn’t necessarily mention that to your date though 😉
Ramp up the dating fun factor and head over to Ocean Beach Pleasure Park, home to Urban Wave, a new all year round sports activity that can simulate popular boarding such as surfing, wake-boarding, body-boarding and snow-boarding without getting wet! Shaped like a wave, a rotating special surface of 6 meters wide and 9 meters long, gives you enough space to ride and do tricks and is bound to have you both laughing your head off. The cool thing is up to two people can use Urban Wave at the same time, making it perfect for a date. So go ahead and be totally boglius (which is surf lingo for cool and awesome).
We hope you found our suggestions useful and we wish you a hoppy bank holiday weekend.
Maz and the Plenty More Fish Team x