We all know the lyrics to the Fleetwood Mac Song ‘Little Lies’, a song about a relationship where one party chooses to believe the little lies rather than see the truth and change the situation. An analogy that can often be applied to online dating profiles. Most of us have been on a date where when we meet some of the things written on their profile just don’t add up and it is obvious they’ve been a little more creative than they should be.
But why? What’s the point?
Fact. Online dating, whilst fun is also grueling on the soul. In the busy pond of singles looking for love how on earth do you make your profile stand out against the hundreds of thousands of others hoping Cupid’s arrow will strike? Surely by being a little more creative with your profile you’re showing flair and individualism? Not quite.
The problem is that whilst creativity and flair would have got you top marks at school; when you’re looking for ‘the one’ you need to tell it how it is and be honest about your personality, what you are looking for and the traits you like or dislike. Turning your dating profile into work of fiction is not the smartest move.
Honesty is the best policy
The dilemma most online daters go over in their head is that being honest will come back and bite them and can sometimes backfire. Try looking at it another way. If you’ve been honest about yourself and what you’re looking for and a potential match takes umbrage with this were they really for you anyway?
Whether you’re a young singleton, an older dater or someone looking for a casual relationship it is important to write a profile that makes it clear what you want from a potential partner, what you are like as a person and your stand out personality traits.
Those of us in the category of ‘silver daters‘ should stay away from cliches such as ‘seeks companion’, ‘happy in own company’, ‘well settled in own ways’ – these would all indicate that friendship rather than a relationship is more important. Equally avoid phrases such as ‘light-hearted’, ‘funny’, ‘good sense of humour’ – after all, you’re looking for a meaningful relationship not a daily dose of the comedy club.
Words are vital when writing your online dating profile. The wrong ones can be an instant turn off and the right ones could bag you the perfect date. So what are the key ‘trigger words’ that make a standout profile?
Not surprisingly men look for women with words like ‘ambitious’ and ‘confident’ in their profile and women look for male profiles with the words ‘intelligent’ and ‘sincere’. The more positive descriptions you can use the better. For the female daters amongst us try incorporating words such as ‘hard working’, ‘thoughtful’, ‘motivated’ and ‘compassionate’. For the male daters build your profile using ‘spontaneous’, ‘outgoing’ and ‘perceptive’.
An honest well thought and well-written profile will trigger a natural emotional response from a potential date. Whilst you might want to be a little creative and go into your love of traveling and a passion for cats these are not the facts that are going to get your profile grabbing the attention of Mr or Mrs Right!
Feeling inspired to try out online dating? Then way not give www.plentymorefish.com a try?
We are not fans of the huge lengthy forms many dating sites force you to fill out before you become a member and this is why you will find none of the sought on Plenty More Fish.
Instead, we leave a small box for you to fill if you fancy – with whatever you fancy.
By the looks of things, many of you have this spot on however, some seem to find the box easier to fill than others. Although optional, it gives others the chance to find out some interesting bits about you that could ultimately make you stand out from the crowd. Unlike tick boxes on forms it’s much more personal and interesting for others to read.
Struggling for ideas? The following questions may help give you some inspiration!
Have you got any interesting or funny stories that happened to you recently?
- What are you looking for in a partner/date?
- What would your ideal date be? Where would you go?
- How would you describe yourself physically?
- How would your friends describe you?
- What do you do for a living?
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- What kind of music do you like?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
If you’re struggling, try and answer a few of the questions above to get you started!
Plenty More Fish ;o)
For many people, writing a dating profile can be a daunting and tricky process. Only last night, I was helping a friend set up her profile and she was SO concious of sounding “big- headed.” I had to continuously tell her that you are in fact, trying to sell yourself – similar to that of a C.V. You have to describe yourself in a positive light or who will want to employ (or in her case, date) you?
Anyway, we got there in the end! I strongly believe you can write a cracking profile description without sounding full of yourself! It’s do-able. Just follow our 5 tips for a stand- out profile.
- Always focus on the positives. Someone who sees the glass half full rather than half empty is extremely attractive. Refrain from portraying yourself as desperate. Making comments like; “is there ANYBODY out there?” can come across as very impersonal, as well as desperate.
- Ask a good friend to help you. This is probably one of my top tips. Your friends will have absolutely no problem describing all the great things about you. You can even get them to spell check it while they’re there! If it’s easier you could eve put; “my friends would describe me as a…., b….., c…..”
- Upload a clear, recent photo of yourself. Make sure your picture is clear. Make sure it’s of you and not your pet. Definitely don’t upload a picture with an ex clearly cut out of it. Check out our tips for the perfect profile picture.
- Enough info in your description to help start a conversation…yes. A biography…no. Leave some to the imagination. You do not need to tell everyone why you dislike your ex or about your undying love for your cat. This can come later if you get to know each other well enough.
- What do you find attractive? Ask yourself what you find attractive in other peoples profiles and try to do something similar in yours! Simple 🙂