Tag Archive | dating after divorce

5 December date ideas that don’t break the bank

Let’s face it, December is an expensive time of year for most of us but your dating life should not have to suffer because of it. So here are our favourite affordable and fun date ideas for this month.

Get your skate one

Remember how much fun you had as a kid whizzing – or crawling – across the ice? Plenty of city centres now have ice rinks at this time of year so there’s really no excuse not to give it a try. Not only is it loads of fun but it is sure you get you very close to your date, especially if they are not as accomplished in the arts of ice skating and will need to hold on to you for balance. Afterwards, you can warm up with a hot toddy and laugh about your sore bottoms.

Have a bake-off

Who doesn’t love the smell of freshly baked Christmas cookies, so why not have a bake-off? Each person picks one recipe and you ask friends and family to judge your efforts. The loser will have to cook the next meal, sing a Christmas carol in front of their family or come up with the next fun date idea. Make it interesting, get creative!

Mix it up

Whilst on the subject of food, we mustn’t forget the impressive art of cocktail making. Mixing your way through different cocktail recipes is another fun way to ‘expand’ your horizons so to speak. You could book one of the many cocktail making classes available, buy a book on the topic or simply Google some recipes to try. You could even create your own signature drink for you both. Wouldn’t that be a cute story to share one day?

Lend a hand

The true meaning of Christmas is to give, so why not spread some cheer and volunteer at a local charity or start a fundraiser to help those less fortunate? You could do a sponsored sleep out, a Santa Fun Run or create a gift-wrapped shoebox full of nice things and send it off to a disadvantaged child. There are so many ways to give (just search ‘Volunteer at Christmas’). It’s sure you make you all warm and fuzzy afterwards. And who knows? This might just be the start of an annual family tradition.

Shake a leg

Hit a local karaoke bar or stay at home to create a playlist with all your favourite Christmas tunes. Have a musical pop quiz or a dance-off in your PJs. You could even write your own nativity play or compose the next Christmas number 1. There are so many ways to have a music-themed date that you’ll be spoilt for choice but you can have some awesome fun. Up the ante and post your creations online for your friends to vote on and spread some cheer. It’s all about having fun!

We hope you like our favourite December date ideas. Have one to share with us? Then drop us a comment!

 

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Dating after divorce or long-term relationship

As if breaking up wasn’t hard enough already, divorcing or separating after many years can feel devastating and the thought of ever loving someone else may seem impossible at first. Most people will experience a sense of grief and go through these 5 stages. They are:

    1. Denial and isolation
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

So how do you know if you are ready to get back out there and start dating again? Here are a few things that you should consider before you get back on that proverbial dating horse:

Accept that it’s over

Seems like an obvious one but this is a vital step helping you be open for something new. First, make sure you’ve come to terms with your marriage/relationship being over and that you have accepted it. Reaching this stage can take a long time – sometimes years – so be patient and allow yourself to heal first.

The ex is dating again

Remember that acceptance we’ve just mentioned? That resolve can be tested when you see your ex with someone new for the first time. Be prepared for this to trigger emotions you thought you’d dealt with. Seeing him/her with another partner can really hurt and trigger feelings of jealousy and undo all the positive steps you’ve taken since the breakup. At this point, it is important to remember that it’s ok to feel those emotions but not allow them to overwhelm you. Remembering that you and your ex may be at different stages in life will help you remain objective. And that you both deserve to be happy – even if it’s with someone else.

Meeting the kids

Sit down with your children and talk to them about this step waaay before you start dating again. Especially if your kids are older. Helping them navigate their own grieving process will allow the family to heal as a whole before they reach the stage of acceptance. So be gentle and give them time to get used to the idea of you dating again. Just don’t put it off altogether  – you too deserve to be happy!

Redefine yourself

Begin to redefine who you are outside of the marriage/relationship by spending quality time on your own. Take yourself out to dinner or the cinema. You’ve always wanted to try Salsa dancing but your partner did not? Go and do that! By rebuilding your own sense of identity you’ll get your confidence back and will begin to see all the exciting opportunities out there.

Time

As they say, “Time is the wisest counsellor of all.” I think we can agree that taking time out from dating after a breakup is a good strategy. One way to find out if the time is right to dip your toe in that dating pond again is to try visualising yourself with someone else. If you feel a sense of excitement – great – you are ready! If however, you struggle to do that, it’s safe to say you need a bit more time and space until you can. It’s ok to take as much time as you need!

Dating tips for mums and dads after divorce

Finding yourself back in the dating world after a divorce can be scary process, especially if you have children. But dating with kids mustn’t become a big hurdle, as long as you remember a few points to consider.

Be careful

Don’t introduce your kids to a new partner unless the relationship is getting serious. You wouldn’t want your kids to become attached to your new squeeze only to have them experience the loss of someone they liked.

Be open

Your new partner should know about your kids from the word go. If he or she doesn’t like children or can not accept you are a parent, it’s pretty clear they aren’t right for you. Save yourself the heartbreak and move on.

Be honest

Being honest with your children about your new love is vital to have them on board. They will smell BS a mile away, so try and be as honest with them as possible about your relationship. It’s important that you reassure them and explain that they will always be the most important people your life, no matter what.

Be patient

Accept that your kids may be slow to warm up to your new partner. If that’s the case, don’t push the relationship on them too quickly. Give them time.

Be reassuring

Reassure your children that your new significant other is NOT intended to replace your ex — ever. This way, they don’t have to feel as though they have to choose or that they betray the other parent.

Be understanding

Many children cling onto the hope that their parents will get back together for a long time and may struggle to come to terms with it. When you’ve moved on to a new partner, the finality of your split becomes more real to your children, which may bring out feelings of jealousy, anger, and fear in them, so talk to them about their feelings and let them express their emotions without judgement.

Do you have any other advice for single parents looking to date? Share it with us by leaving a comment.

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