Tag Archive | dating after divorce

Writer’s block? Tips for the perfect dating bio

Whilst we may be a generation addicted to selfies and photos, it is safe to say that a well-written quality dating profile will help you stand out in the crowd and catch Mr or Miss Right. The thing is we’re just not very good at selling ourselves, it isn’t in our nature to ‘brag’ about our plus points but in reality this is exactly what you need to do in the world of online dating.

tips for writing an online dating bio

Even if you’re not a budding wordsmith, with a little thought and creativity you can create a knockout dating profile. Still need a guiding hand?  Our top tips below will nudge you in the right direction.

Keep it short and sweet

Entice your date with just enough to peak their interest. Here are some good examples:

Jake, 25
Sunday fun day 👍🏻  Sunday chill day 👎🏻
Snakes 😍  Moths 😱
Bike ✅ Car ⛔️ 

Pineapple on pizza > great combo (Perhaps we will be too?)

Jessica, 28
“She has funny toes.” – My best friend Clare
“Excellent gums. Definitely flosses regularly.” – Sara, my hygienist
“She’s cute, but she snores.” – My mother
“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.” – My ex (actually it was Captain Jack Sparrow in At World’s End but I’m sure my ex would agree)

Kids in your photos

Always a risky one as parents tend to keep their kids off the internet. However, if you are a single parent most of your pictures will contain your kids so a quick disclaimer about who that kid in your photo belongs to are appreciated, but not necessary.

Funny is good. Witty is better.

Unless you’re a natural comedian it will pay dividends to spend some time researching other profiles and taking inspiration from them. Be original and please don’t copy and paste from other profiles.

Quotes

Must we really say it? Online dating is not the platform to promote your views on your views on mindfulness or inner peace, so please stay clear of inspirational quotes (unless you can turn them into something funny or use it as a topic of why you think it stinks).

I’m this tall…

Gents, refrain from adding your height to your dating bio. Whilst there may be shallow girls out there that open with this question, most of us are better than that!

Shirtless pics

Lads, contrary to what many of you (90%) may believe, posting shirtless pics can mean on average 25% fewer matches. More than half of the women who’ve been asked said that posting shirtless pics implies a lack of maturity and self-awareness.

Regardless of whether you’re a young professional or one of the many over 40’s daters, making the right first impression is key and a good dating bio can be a great way to introduce yourself.

If you’re looking for a potential date what are the things you look for in a good profile?  We’d love for you to share with us your profile ‘deal breakers’. 

 

6 Warning Signs when Dating a Divorced Man

When you’ve been in the dating pool a while and/or you’ve reached a certain age it’s very likely you’ll date someone who’s had a failed marriage or long-term relationship. But that doesn’t mean that person won’t be a great partner. There are, however, some warning signs to look out for when dating a divorced man.

Separated, not divorced

The first red flag is whether he describes himself as separated rather than divorced. Many women get sucked into a relationship (rebound anyone?) with a separated man, only to find out that he’s still married and actually working on his relationship or that he’s going to remain married, but still separated for the foreseeable future and he never has any plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, translate that into, ‘I’m not available for anything serious’.

Going too fast

The second warning sign is how fast he jumps into a very serious relationship. Oftentimes divorced men are only comfortable with relationships that become very serious, very quickly. They are putt off by the dating process of getting to know the other person and it’s important you slow things down. Even if he is keen to spend a lot of time with you or goes as far as suggesting moving in together, slowing down will give you both time to really get to know each other and see if you are actually compatible in the long run.

Never again

Having a negative attitude towards love or being emotionally unavailable is also a red flag. Granted, going through a divorce is one of the most traumatic things a person has to deal with, and it can leave that person bitter and closed off to love. So, if he’s still in a place where he can’t see himself to ever get married again – believe him. He’s not yet moved on and is still reeling from that experience. Let him go, he’s not ready.

He’s depressed

Red flag number four is whether he’s depressed or has low self-esteem. As we said earlier divorce is traumatic and it can really take a toll on a person’s mental state and destroy their self-esteem. Divorce has the potential to make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if you’ve been cheated on. But remember, it’s not your job to fix him, it’s not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He will need to find that path on his own.  Please avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate him when you could be keeping your options open to other people.

Check the ex

If his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life that’s another warning sign you shouldn’t ignore. Now, we get it if he has children with her, they will need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a friendship. But if you’re finding that she’s still a constant part of his life, he’s texting her on a constant basis, always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. There’s still a possibility he might want to win her back.

Kids but no kids

Speaking of children. How’s his relationship with his kids? If he has zero custody of his children doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a major problem. Nonetheless, it’s a red flag. Typically, the relationship that someone has with their children is very coherent with the relationship they’ll have with other people in their life, but divorces are complicated and messy, so you really want to find out what actually went to get a clearer picture of him.

Now those are the biggest red flags we really want you to be looking for when you’re dating a divorced man, and if you don’t see any of those red flags, then great, go for it!  Just because a man was divorced doesn’t mean he’s damaged goods. On the contrary, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and be at a point in his life where he has more clarity about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.

Ready to find your next date? Check out our divorced singles pond and start chatting to other divorced singles today. 

5 December date ideas that don’t break the bank

Let’s face it, December is an expensive time of year for most of us but your dating life should not have to suffer because of it. So here are our favourite affordable and fun date ideas for this month.

Get your skate one

Remember how much fun you had as a kid whizzing – or crawling – across the ice? Plenty of city centres now have ice rinks at this time of year so there’s really no excuse not to give it a try. Not only is it loads of fun but it is sure you get you very close to your date, especially if they are not as accomplished in the arts of ice skating and will need to hold on to you for balance. Afterwards, you can warm up with a hot toddy and laugh about your sore bottoms.

Have a bake-off

Who doesn’t love the smell of freshly baked Christmas cookies, so why not have a bake-off? Each person picks one recipe and you ask friends and family to judge your efforts. The loser will have to cook the next meal, sing a Christmas carol in front of their family or come up with the next fun date idea. Make it interesting, get creative!

Mix it up

Whilst on the subject of food, we mustn’t forget the impressive art of cocktail making. Mixing your way through different cocktail recipes is another fun way to ‘expand’ your horizons so to speak. You could book one of the many cocktail making classes available, buy a book on the topic or simply Google some recipes to try. You could even create your own signature drink for you both. Wouldn’t that be a cute story to share one day?

Lend a hand

The true meaning of Christmas is to give, so why not spread some cheer and volunteer at a local charity or start a fundraiser to help those less fortunate? You could do a sponsored sleep out, a Santa Fun Run or create a gift-wrapped shoebox full of nice things and send it off to a disadvantaged child. There are so many ways to give (just search ‘Volunteer at Christmas’). It’s sure you make you all warm and fuzzy afterwards. And who knows? This might just be the start of an annual family tradition.

Shake a leg

Hit a local karaoke bar or stay at home to create a playlist with all your favourite Christmas tunes. Have a musical pop quiz or a dance-off in your PJs. You could even write your own nativity play or compose the next Christmas number 1. There are so many ways to have a music-themed date that you’ll be spoilt for choice but you can have some awesome fun. Up the ante and post your creations online for your friends to vote on and spread some cheer. It’s all about having fun!

We hope you like our favourite December date ideas. Have one to share with us? Then drop us a comment!

 

Still looking for that special someone? Try Plentymorefish.com and find singles near you today!

Dating after divorce or long-term relationship

As if breaking up wasn’t hard enough already, divorcing or separating after many years can feel devastating and the thought of ever loving someone else may seem impossible at first. Most people will experience a sense of grief and go through these 5 stages. They are:

    1. Denial and isolation
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

So how do you know if you are ready to get back out there and start dating again? Here are a few things that you should consider before you get back on that proverbial dating horse:

Accept that it’s over

Seems like an obvious one but this is a vital step helping you be open for something new. First, make sure you’ve come to terms with your marriage/relationship being over and that you have accepted it. Reaching this stage can take a long time – sometimes years – so be patient and allow yourself to heal first.

The ex is dating again

Remember that acceptance we’ve just mentioned? That resolve can be tested when you see your ex with someone new for the first time. Be prepared for this to trigger emotions you thought you’d dealt with. Seeing him/her with another partner can really hurt and trigger feelings of jealousy and undo all the positive steps you’ve taken since the breakup. At this point, it is important to remember that it’s ok to feel those emotions but not allow them to overwhelm you. Remembering that you and your ex may be at different stages in life will help you remain objective. And that you both deserve to be happy – even if it’s with someone else.

Meeting the kids

Sit down with your children and talk to them about this step waaay before you start dating again. Especially if your kids are older. Helping them navigate their own grieving process will allow the family to heal as a whole before they reach the stage of acceptance. So be gentle and give them time to get used to the idea of you dating again. Just don’t put it off altogether  – you too deserve to be happy!

Redefine yourself

Begin to redefine who you are outside of the marriage/relationship by spending quality time on your own. Take yourself out to dinner or the cinema. You’ve always wanted to try Salsa dancing but your partner did not? Go and do that! By rebuilding your own sense of identity you’ll get your confidence back and will begin to see all the exciting opportunities out there.

Time

As they say, “Time is the wisest counsellor of all.” I think we can agree that taking time out from dating after a breakup is a good strategy. One way to find out if the time is right to dip your toe in that dating pond again is to try visualising yourself with someone else. If you feel a sense of excitement – great – you are ready! If however, you struggle to do that, it’s safe to say you need a bit more time and space until you can. It’s ok to take as much time as you need!

Dating tips for mums and dads after divorce

Finding yourself back in the dating world after a divorce can be scary process, especially if you have children. But dating with kids mustn’t become a big hurdle, as long as you remember a few points to consider.

Be careful

Don’t introduce your kids to a new partner unless the relationship is getting serious. You wouldn’t want your kids to become attached to your new squeeze only to have them experience the loss of someone they liked.

Be open

Your new partner should know about your kids from the word go. If he or she doesn’t like children or can not accept you are a parent, it’s pretty clear they aren’t right for you. Save yourself the heartbreak and move on.

Be honest

Being honest with your children about your new love is vital to have them on board. They will smell BS a mile away, so try and be as honest with them as possible about your relationship. It’s important that you reassure them and explain that they will always be the most important people your life, no matter what.

Be patient

Accept that your kids may be slow to warm up to your new partner. If that’s the case, don’t push the relationship on them too quickly. Give them time.

Be reassuring

Reassure your children that your new significant other is NOT intended to replace your ex — ever. This way, they don’t have to feel as though they have to choose or that they betray the other parent.

Be understanding

Many children cling onto the hope that their parents will get back together for a long time and may struggle to come to terms with it. When you’ve moved on to a new partner, the finality of your split becomes more real to your children, which may bring out feelings of jealousy, anger, and fear in them, so talk to them about their feelings and let them express their emotions without judgement.

Do you have any other advice for single parents looking to date? Share it with us by leaving a comment.

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