Chemistry alone is not an indicator of a successful long-term relationship. Going the distance takes effort (on both parts) and a real dedication to making it work. Once the honeymoon phase is over and routine kicks in we tend to forget that it’s often the smaller and less obvious things that make or break a relationship.
Happy and healthy relationships are built on fundamental behaviours that ensure both partner’s needs are met, leading to a deeper understanding and strengthened the bond.
To quote Salt-N-Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex, baby.” Yes, sex is a form of communication. One form. There are so many other ways couples communicate and every person has different needs. Knowing how your partner needs to be shown love – touch, words, gestures, intimacy – will make all the difference. Don’t fall into the trap thinking that just because you are a touchy-feely person, your partner is the same. He/she may feel loved when they are praised or told they are loved. Happy couples understand this difference and make a real effort to show their partner they are loved in a way they understand.
In a healthy partnership, winning isn’t about having the last word or being right. It’s about each of you feeling happy with the outcome. When your ego becomes more important than your relationship you’re on a path that will only lead to heartache. It all comes back to communication – truly hearing your partner and understanding what they need is just as important as your own needs. The key is to focus what this means for your partnership and less for you as an individual, from there you work towards a mutually happy outcome.
You can’t be in a relationship when you don’t trust your partner. If your partner displays behaviours that make you suspicious even though you aren’t a jealous person, it won’t work. Equally, if you mistrust your current partner because you’ve been hurt in the past and you’re reading into things, your relationship is going to fail. Trust boils down to respect and healthy boundaries. Identify what a trusting partnership looks like to each of you and communicate this to each other.
“Thank you” and “I’m sorry”
Words almost as hard to utter as “I love you”, but words that can bond and heal. Admitting when you are wrong or showing gratitude for your partner are key factors for any relationship but especially a romantic one. No one is always right and no one likes to be taken for granted. Hearing a sincere “I’m sorry for….” shows maturity, vulnerability and a high degree of self-awareness. On the flipside – forgiveness and gratitude are equally as important.
This means different things to different people. Some couples are in an open relationship whereas others prefer a more traditional approach. Make sure these boundaries clear from the start. Set an expectation early on before you get too invested. Honesty and authenticity are integral to building a solid foundation for your partnership.
Follow this advice and you’ll be sure on your way to a mature and lasting relationship.
Still looking for that special someone to build a future with? Check out Plentymorefish.com where thousands of singles are looking for love.
Welcome to Plenty More Naughty Fish! An online dating site dedicated to matching like-minded naughty singles who are looking for no strings attached fun and so much more!
Are you a naughty single looking to find someone sexy online? Are you looking to dive into the naughty pond and enjoy everything that it has to offer? There’s always plenty more naughty fish and by joining The Naughty Pond you could be on step closer to finding hookups and fun with naughty singles!
Plenty More Naughty Fish is purpose-built to help you message, flirt and match with dirty-minded singles! Our vast and ever-growing database has lots of sexy singles who want to be put through their paces and matched with someone who is fun in the bedroom! No strings attached fun is within reaching distance – all you have to do is become a member!
To join the Naughty Pond and start dating today, all you have to do is register using our 5 step registration form. Within the form we’ll ask you for details like your email address and your date of birth – we’ll need this information to help match you with the right kind of people and to send you emails with our new and sexy members each week!
Once you are a member of the Naughty Pond you’ll be able to create your own profile. This is a perfect opportunity to show off everything amazing and naughty about yourself! In your profile, you should write things about yourself: what makes you tick? What excited you in the bedroom? What sort of person are you looking to get down and dirty with? What gets you off? Do you have any kinks?
Your profile is a window into the best things about you and members will be able to learn more about you before taking the plunge and introducing yourself so make sure you keep it light, happy and completely honest!
You’ll also be able to add photos to your profile. Add sexy snaps, add saucy snaps and be as naughty as you like – show off everything good about yourself and let people know what you look like!
Once you’re a member in the Naughty Pond you’ll be able to send an introduction message so be honest, be open and be as naughty as you want!
As a member of the Naughty Pond, you’ll be able to use our brilliant and easy to use search features. These can help you search for exactly what you know you like – and avoid what you know just doesn’t do it for you! Search by location for a local fling or for dirty weekends away; search by appearance – looking for a slim Jim or a curvaceous Karen? Search by sexual orientation – a fan of water sport? Can’t get enough of doggy?
You could be just a few clicks away from matching with a naughty like-minded single and taking it to the next level – so what are you waiting for? Hit this link to dive into the naughty pond now!
Let’s call it what it is.
Dating is expensive!
Besides the cost of making yourself look less sasquatchey (pretty sure we’ve financed our beautician’s third salon) and more like the Snapchat Goddess that you are, you have the cost of the date itself – movies, dinners etc., all of which quickly deplete your fun budget. And yes, we always go Dutch!
So before you go and sign up to discount days on various voucher websites check out our date ideas that don’t suck (budget or balls):
Most big cities have places where you can hire a tandem bike and which are really affordable (around £40 for the whole day). It’s also also a right hoot and you get to explore your city (and your date’s bottom) more closely. Remember to take a picnic with you to refuel (*wink *wink) at the next park.
Pop-up Wine Bar
Vinery London is hosting another pop-up wine bar this Saturday. Just rock up and sample some delicious wines and pay what you think the night was worth (and based on how much you’ve guzzled away).
Volunteering together may not be the first thing that pops into your head when you think ‘hot date’ but it can be a really fun and rewarding experience. Head on over to http://www.do-it.org for some ideas and let’s not forget the mayjaaah karma points you score. Who knows, this could be your thing as a couple.
Just have pudding
A girl’s gotta eat, right? So next time you head on to a restaurant, why not ditch the starter and main course and just have one (or four) different desserts to share with your date instead? It will be cheaper and let’s face it, you will have the pudding anyway so you might as well have the brownie, lemon tart and creme brûlée at the same time.
Go to a festival
What’s better than to dance the night away with bae at a festival? Dancing the night away at a free festival of course. Check out this handy guide to find one in your area.
Do you have any other wallet-friendly date ideas you want to share with a fellow dater? Share them in the comments below!
Let’s be honest for a moment and put it on the table; dating in your 40s is pretty grim (ok, personal experience talking, it is bleaker than a public service station restroom at the side of a deserted motorway). At 40 the competition is steeper and it becomes a whole lot more confusing and you’ll find the type of men in the over 40s dating pool very different.
Here are some truths that could help you navigate the tricky path of mature dating.
The men are having a mid-life crisis
Men like younger women. A lot of men in their 30’s and 40’s seem to have an awakening moment and panic that they’re getting old and as a knee jerk reaction go out and find the perkiest 25-year-old they can find in an attempt to settle down. Even if you are near their own age they will still see you as ‘old’ and dismiss your profile. Harsh. You may well be witty, successful, outgoing and smart but none of that matters in their heads once you are in the over 40’s club.
You attract that toy boys
An older, gorgeous, confident and self-assured woman is an absolute lure for a man in his late 20s. To them, the age gap works in their favour as you’ll be comfortable and well skilled in the bedroom and the perfect teacher for them to learn some tricks. It may suit you to end up with a 25-year-old toy-boy between the sheets but you’ll struggle to find someone old enough to suit your lifestyle and goals if you go down this path. Think late night booty calls and the wonders of dick pics…really??
You love your kids but not everyone else does
Having kids and attempting to get back to dating and relationships is tough. All the time you are mindful of their needs and emotions. You’re careful not to introduce them to every date, you question when to introduce them to the date and then you’re also trying to juggle a date around organising child care. For some guys the fact you’re a mother will discount you instantly; remember… that says way more about them than it does about you. Equally, you don’t need to introduce them to everyone unless you think that person is going to have some level of permanence in your life. If you enter a relationship be upfront about your kids and whether you realistically want more and you’ll soon find out which guys are serious about sticking around.
You’re set in your ways
Dating in your 40’s means you know what you want – this translates to you’re stubborn and won’t deviate from your ideal situation. Your list of dating dealbreakers is far more set in stone than it was when you were 25, and if you’re looking to settle down and start a family this is now crunch time and you’re going to be super picky about it.
There’s too much choice
Your phone is full of dating apps, you have RSI in your thumb from continual swiping and you’ve moved to second base (WhatsApp) with several potentially interested parties. Stop! Too much choice is a bad thing and makes it harder for you to spot the genuine guys who are real relationship material. If you want a partner with a similar professional mindset and age to your own then it is quite possibly you need to be looking at mature dating websites rather than the usual hookup apps.
You’re flying solo
Chances are that by this point all your other female friends are married, also have kids or are in long term relationships. This means that you’ve lost your partner in crime who will pull you back to reality on nights out after too many mojitos. You are flying solo with no wing woman in your corner to guide you. It can be awkward talking to your friends about your dating exploits when their lives are on a very different path and can leave you feeling a little isolated. Advice? Confide in one close friend who you really trust with your dating tales and keep it between the two of you – their advice will be invaluable and more genuine if they feel like it is something just between the two of you.
Dating in your late 30s and early 40s is complexed. Shapewear becomes your best friend and there’s a whole text acronym sub culture you don’t understand, but on the plus side you don’t have to justify your stream of one night stands to your mother anymore.
Ultimately, don’t lose hope, when you fall in love as cheesy as this sounds it really is something very special and if it was so easy to come by, well all the sense of mystery around it would be gone and it would lose the magic.
Remember at the heart of it you are an amazing woman and anyone will be lucky to have you….just be patient, don’t settle for second best and keep on searching.
For years, I went on date after date. Some of these dates turned into relationships, but none of them lasted more than a few months. I’d describe myself as your average girl next door, fairly pretty, reasonably funny, independent and with a healthy social life. So why wasn’t I connecting with any of these men? We got on really well, often had many things in common, but somehow I always ended up single again. What was I doing wrong? I decided to do go all Sigmund Freud on myself and started to analyse my most recent (and what I would consider more serious) relationships. I really wanted to know why these relationships never went anywhere.
Date No 1 – Eric
Eric and I had so many things in common, he could have been a male carbon copy of myself. We both loved photography, the outdoors and shared the same taste in music. We could talk for hours about our favourite bands, artists and places. We had so much fun together, so I didn’t put much weight on our sex life being on the snooze end of the sex scale but honestly, we simply had no chemistry in the boudoir. Looking back I am not surprised we stopped seeing each other and I’m glad Eric was brave enough to end it. Had he not done so, we may have ended up settling for something that just wasn’t right.
Date No 2 – Mark
The relationship with Mark was the polar opposite to the one with Eric. Mark and I enjoyed many steamy, sweaty and exhilarating romps, but our conversations resembled short awkward mumbles of teenagers at their first school disco. We didn’t have anything in common and frequently argued about trivial things, only to end up in bed again. I have to admit I had felt a great sense of relief when he stopped calling me, thereby ending our sexventure.
Date No 3 – David
David and I met at my weekly yoga class. We got talking, spend many afternoons putting the world to right over our soy lattes. It was evident we had great connection on a spiritual level, yet just like Eric before, we didn’t click in bed. We cuddled, snuggled and tried often, yet it was all too clinical. We soon parted ways as a couple but remain great friends to this day. Looking back, David was only ever going to be a mate but I didn’t want to see it at the time.
So, what do all these relationships, or more importantly their failures, have in common? I had connected on an intellectual level, on a physical level and on a spiritual level yet somehow, I finally realised, I never connected with any of these men on an emotional level. I guess, I never really wanted to in the first place because I was afraid I was going to get hurt again.
As soon as I had realised this, things started to change for me. Suddenly I was no longer afraid to say how I felt, what I liked and what I didn’t like in a relationship. I felt confident asserting myself in my relationships, without drama or judgement and before I knew, I had made a connection. With a man. My man. Michael and I have now been together for 5 years and we couldn’t be happier. I asked him the other day what had made him fall in love with me in the first place and he simply said: “You showed me your heart.”
I guess the moral of the story is, if you hide your true self from the world, you also hide yourself from your true love.
Have you been struggling to connect to men in the past? What do you think is holding you back?
If you and your ex are now happy campers in Friendsville, you won’t need to read today’s blog (but you are still welcome to of course). If however the split is still raw and you are struggling to come to terms with it, then tread carefully my friend as you could be opening up old wounds and adding fresh ones if you don’t avoid these 7 text traps:
1. Pet names and terms of endearments
Your ex is your ex for a reason. They decided that they no longer want to be with you and no amount of Snookiepops or Diddikins calling is going to change that. The truth is, they have moved on and it’s time you do too.
2. Blowing off steam
This is the flip side to my first point. Sadness is often followed by anger and you really want them to feel just how much they’ve hurt you. But sending rude or angry messages serves no purpose other than to validate his/her reasons for breaking up with you in the first place. And all this is going to make you worse. Instead pour your heart out to someone who you trust or punch a sofa cushion until you feel better.
3. No response nagging
If your ex hasn’t answered to your first text, we are pretty certain they don’t want any contact with you. They’ll have their reasons and for your own sanity, respect them and stop texting.
4. Reminiscing the past
This is similar to point 1, as in you are still holding on to the past. Lamenting about your lost love should be reserved for your diary or closest friends, not the one who broke your heart.
5. “Thinking of you” messages
Of course you are! It’s normal but your ex shouldn’t hear about it, they lost that right when they left you. Go out and live your life and soon you’ll forget about him/her altogether.
6. Sexting / Nude pics
This is probably the worst thing you can do – to yourself. Desperate measures often lead to further heartbreak. Avoid at all costs.
7. Pleading with him/her
It’s hard to accept that the person we love, doesn’t love us back. It sucks, we understand. But you need to ask yourself, if they broke up with you once, is getting them back going to solve anything? Things happen for a reason and you may simply not be right for each other. The other person has just come to the realisation sooner than you. At some point you will see it too. Give yourself time. We promise it will get better.
When in doubt it is always better to avoid texting your ex. If you can’t trust yourself, delete his/her number from your phone. Your future self will thank you for it.
Have you ever sent text messages to your ex you later regretted? Tell us, we’d like to hear your stories.
Finding yourself back in the dating world after a divorce can be scary process, especially if you have children. But dating with kids mustn’t become a big hurdle, as long as you remember a few points to consider.
Don’t introduce your kids to a new partner unless the relationship is getting serious. You wouldn’t want your kids to become attached to your new squeeze only to have them experience the loss of someone they liked.
Your new partner should know about your kids from the word go. If he or she doesn’t like children or can not accept you are a parent, it’s pretty clear they aren’t right for you. Save yourself the heartbreak and move on.
Being honest with your children about your new love is vital to have them on board. They will smell BS a mile away, so try and be as honest with them as possible about your relationship. It’s important that you reassure them and explain that they will always be the most important people your life, no matter what.
Accept that your kids may be slow to warm up to your new partner. If that’s the case, don’t push the relationship on them too quickly. Give them time.
Reassure your children that your new significant other is NOT intended to replace your ex — ever. This way, they don’t have to feel as though they have to choose or that they betray the other parent.
Many children cling onto the hope that their parents will get back together for a long time and may struggle to come to terms with it. When you’ve moved on to a new partner, the finality of your split becomes more real to your children, which may bring out feelings of jealousy, anger, and fear in them, so talk to them about their feelings and let them express their emotions without judgement.
Do you have any other advice for single parents looking to date? Share it with us by leaving a comment.