Myths About Submission
Submission can easily be misconstrued with their representation of it through movies and books, but we’ve busted some myths to help you get a better understanding of what being a Submissive really means.
Submissives = Masochists
Masochism is the act of receiving sexual gratification from pain. It is a misconception to associate submission with a desire for pain. In fact, the whole idea of submission is to gain pleasure from the act of submitting to your partner. Doms can also be masochists and demand their Subs to inflict pain, there are a whole world of combinations when it comes to Dom/Sub relations. But the main thing to take away is that pain and pleasure do not have to go hand in hand in order for you to be submissive.
They have No Responsibility
Responsibility in a Dominant/Submissive relationship is easily misunderstood. It can be seen that the responsibility is passed to the Dominant lover and that the Sub is longing to be looked after. Certain basic responsibilities which are important for both parties in the bedroom go unnoticed by outsiders. Every individual who partakes in submissive acts has a responsibility for their own actions and words. In relation to your dominant lover, these words and actions are important, they involve being open and honest about expressing your desires and how you handle them. Yes, the dominant may hold the most responsibility in terms of dealing directly with the control of their partner, they have to know their Subs better than anyone else. But the Sub is responsible for communicating their boundaries within the relationship.
They shouldn’t have their own opinions
If Subs want to be controlled, they shouldn’t be allowed to have opinions of their own, Right? Wrong. How are submissive partners supposed to have fun in the bedroom if they can’t share their opinions about what they enjoy? If they are supposed to be comfortable in the bedroom, then they need to be able to express what they like and what they don’t enjoy so much. Being submissive is all about being adaptable, so someone who is opinionated and strong-willed in their everyday life could well be a submissive behind closed doors.
They are Weak Individuals
We touched on this a little bit in our “A Beginners Guide to BDSM” post. Being submissive in the bedroom does not reveal their personality to be the same outside of it. In fact, the most dominant individuals can in fact cave in for the desire to be submissive. To allow someone to take control of the situation takes a lot more courage than people think. Think back to a time in your sex life where you felt shy or vulnerable lying there naked in front of someone else. Now, imagine doing that but allowing them to be the dominant partner, dishing out the commands and taking control. It takes more strength than you would believe, to feel comfortable and confident enough in your own skin and in the situation.
Submission is always Sexual
Depending on the type of relationship you have with a Dom, depends on the different acts you may perform for them. But it is important to highlight that not all Dom/Sub relationships are sexual. There can be acts where, as a Sub, you don’t experience sexual pleasure and it may not turn you on, but it is still a submissive act and you do it because you want to please your Dom. Service submission is an act that is overlooked when looking at submission, this could be anything from organising their day-to-day business to being a domestic servant for them.
Remember that submission is all about adventure and pleasure, the more comfortable you are the more fulfilment you will feel in the bedroom. Establish your boundaries and affirm them with your lover. But most of all, just have fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself to match the ‘ideal’ of Dom/Sub.
So what are you waiting for? If submission intrigues you head over to the Naughty Pond, where we have adventurous horny singles ready to join you between the sheets.
Beginner’s Guide to BDSM
The first association people make with BDSM is Fifty Shades of Grey. The truth is Mr Grey is considered rather cringeworthy within the BDSM community. It is in fact completely different to how people perceive the kink. To give people a better idea of what it is, we’ve decided to do some research for you and debunk some myths surrounding BDSM.
The term ‘BDSM’ is short for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. A big thing to address, is that it doesn’t have to involve sex at all, neither does it have to involve whips and chains, like movies and porn make it out to be. The important thing to remember is that ensuring that both you and your lover are comfortable at all times during BDSM, for this reason we recommend avoiding taking part in this after you’ve consumed alcohol or drugs.
Communication is a key part of BDSM, talking to each other about what you both would like to try helps to create a comfortable, fun environment. Putting safe words in place can help with this. Stay away from a simple yes/no, as you may be in roles where you have to use these words during intimacy. The BDSM community use two acronyms about safety; SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk, Aware, Consensual, Kink.) Don’t rush the moment, have fun with it and enjoy it by taking your time. It not only reassures your lover, but it also is a way to tease them to an even greater excitement. You have to remember if you want to divulge into BDSM, you are looking to have fun with your sexual desires, so it’s best to be relaxed around your partner and always be respectful.
Another thing to consider is starting off small and simple, you don’t need to buy a whole sex shop of toys to experiment with. Try starting off with sensory deprivation, you can purchase some restraints (Leather or Neoprene are the comfiest) or a blindfold. Trying each component on its own will give you a better idea of what your sexual preferences are, too much too soon can be rather overwhelming.
Bondage and Discipline
The first part of BDSM focuses on using toys as a way to control your lover. Discipline relates to both the physical and mental aspects of intimacy, these could be spanking with a hand, or denying/prolonging an orgasm (otherwise known as edging). By controlling it, it can give your partner a more intense, toe curling orgasm. Blindfolds also count as bondage and if you’re using restraints as a beginner, lightweight cuffs are the best choice.
If you’re using whips it is important to practice flogging before trying it on your lover. The key is to aim for the butt/back of the thighs as they have the most flesh on the body. It should be pointed out that whilst flogging, you should avoid organs or vulnerable flesh. When practicing flogging with longer whips it’s a good idea to try it on a pillow first so that you can practice your aim.
Dominance and Submission
This part of BDSM doesn’t have to necessarily involve Bondage and Discipline. It typically involves mental restraint and power games which can be arousing for yourself or your partner.
A dominant sexual partner will be typically known as a ‘top’, they are the ones who control the submissive by using power. They dish out any physical sexual acts like spanking, bondage, clamping or whipping. Although they are typically known as tops, they could also be the bottom in some cases, by demanding the top to perform certain acts.
A submissive sexual partner has to be in a position of trust and learning. They essentially give the power to their mind and body away to their partner, allowing them to take control. As a submissive you should always expect a level of balance in terms of your sexual boundaries and you should not be expected to exceed them. A submissive lover may not always appear as a quiet individual outside of the bedroom, it is common for confident and socially dominant individuals to act on their submissive fantasies in the bedroom.
The main thing to remember is to communicate clear boundaries so you can both have safe fun.
Find other open minded and fun-loving singles over on Plentymore Naughty Fish for adult, no-strings sexy dating.
The Do’s & Don’ts of Sexting
Sexting – the modern equivalent to foreplay.
If you’d like to add a little sauce to your sausage then read our do’s and don’ts of sexting to help you get started and have your date wanting for your next hookup.
DO recognise less is more
No one wants to read a Shakespeare novel. That’s not sexy. Keeping it short and sweet gives you the opportunity to tease them whilst they’re going about their busy day, in between meetings or running errands. Who doesn’t like the idea of planting a smirk on their lover’s face whilst they’re having lunch with their boss?
DON’T sext someone who you don’t trust implicitly
Regardless of who they are, if you don’t fully trust them, do not sext them. Unfortunately, it only takes two minutes for someone to share an image or screenshot a conversation so make sure that you can completely trust the other party.
DO secure the phone with a password and delete messages
If you want to spice up things and sext at work then ensure that your message previews aren’t on, you want those messages to be kept a secret, not spotted by a colleague glancing at your phone. Putting a password on your phone gives you an extra blanket of security whilst sexting. This is especially important if you have children, as they tend to be quite tech-savvy.
DON’T put your face in any naked pictures
Naked pictures with your face in are a big no-no. With technology this day and age it is so easy for pictures to be sent between people, so it’s better to be cautious and to protect your identity by ensuring that any photos that are sent can’t be traced back to you.
DO tidy background before sending any photos
Before sending anything, look at the background you’re about to use. A clean and simple background to your photo will allow someone to be completely focused on you and not your laundry pile.
DON’T expect anything from sexting to happen in person
Sexting gives you an opportunity to express your fantasies. Being behind a phone screen gives people far more confidence than sitting across the table so ease your expectations if you’re heading into the bedroom.
DO answer promptly
Waiting hours to reply to your friend-with-benefits is the recipe for disaster. If you want to participate in sexting, then you want to reply as soon as you see the message and make time for the conversation. That confidence and sexiness that they are feeling will not last for hours, so make the most of it. Setting some ground rules may also be a good idea.
DON’T sext whilst you’re drunk
We’ve all had those moments where we’ve woken up the day after a heavy night and dreaded looking at our phones. Sexting whilst drunk allows more opportunity for embarrassing messages or pictures to be sent, so spare yourself the anxious feelings in the morning and try to avoid sending anything sexy after a few drinks.
DON’T give a one word response
Although no one wants to see a novelist response to a naughty photo, a one worded response does not suffice. Giving one word answers makes you seem less invested in the conversation and your date will quickly get bored or lose interest.
The key point to remember is to have fun whilst sexting and not take it too seriously, it’s ok to laugh and feel silly about it. Don’t rush it, the anticipation is the exciting part but allow it to be an opportunity to spice things up in the bedroom and express some of your fantasies.
Still looking for adventurous and open-minded singles? You can find them over on Plentymorefish Naughty Dating.
Love bites: Delicious dishes for a sexy night in
Who doesn’t like scrumptious food to set the scene for a steamy sex sesh afterwards?
Aphrodisiacs have been used for hundreds of years as part of the seduction due to their stimulating effects on the body and food is a great way to captivate the senses leaving you and your date hungry for the carnal dessert.
To help you out, we’ve compiled a list of dishes we think will hit the spot and have you fuelled up and ready for your next love-a-thon. Bon Appétit!
APERITIF
Credit redshoes12.co.uk
To set the mood you’ll have to start with something boozy – naturally. As we all know alcohol can make you feel more relaxed and lower your inhibitions. So mix up this Pink Pussy Cocktail which is sure to spread all sorts of warm feelings down in your nether regions.
STARTER
Credit Delicious.com.au
Legend has it that eating a fresh fig while naked in front of a woman is one of the world’s most erotic acts. As the story goes, when a fig is split and held in your palm, the pink flesh is said to resemble a woman’s honeypot, making these honey-roasted figs with limoncello crème fraîche a super sexy way to start a meal.
MAIN COURSE
Credit http://www.bbcgoodfood.com
According to studies, steak could boost female arousal as it increases levels dopamine and norepinephrine. Steaks are also packed full of zinc, making them a potential aphrodisiac for men as well which is why we picked this Steak & sticky red wine shallots recipe for our main course.
Credit onegreenplanet.org
If you or your lover are veggie/vegan you can’t go wrong with this Vegan Mushroom and Asparagus Risotto. Mushrooms are bursting with minerals such as zinc, potassium, magnesium, copper to name but a few. Zinc is crucial to blood flow and without that you’ll have trouble climaxing. If this isn’t a great incentive to eat your veggies, we don’t know what is.
DESSERT
Credit bbcgoodfood.com
No meal would be complete without a dessert and this scrumptious plate of Rose Syllabub Sugared Strawberries is going to create your culinary climax. The Romans revered these little heart shaped fruits as a symbol of Venus, the Goddess of love, sex and beauty. And in the French countryside, there was once a tradition of serving newlyweds cold strawberry soup to help promote the aphrodisiac of honeymoon romance. Oh là là!
Now all that’s left is to get cracking in the kitchen while only wearing an apron… yum yum.
If you are looking for an adventurous single to share sensual sexcapades look no further than our Naughty Pond.
How to get over being rejected by a date
Let’s be frank, dating is not all rainbows and puppy dogs. It takes time and patience and there can be disappointments and rejections along the way. And it’s those rejections we’d like to address to help you navigate them more easily.
Don’t take it personally
You have no idea what reasons the other person has for not getting back in touch, so fretting about it does more harm than good. We know it’s not always that simple, especially if you have dated the person for a while. Think about it this way, if they don’t share your feelings about the relationship, isn’t it best if you move on?
Be compassionate
No one likes to be rejected and it’s perfectly normal to feel upset and hurt at first. And if you’ve been dropped without any explanation it can hit you especially hard. It’s important, however, to practice self-kindness, as blaming yourself will only hurt you further. Unless you’ve been given a very clear reason why it’s not worked out, avoid jumping to conclusions as to why it didn’t last. There may be many reasons why he/she decided to break it off and they don’t have to be your fault.
Avoid a victim mindset
On the flip side of blaming yourself is blaming the other party. After a rejection, it can be very easy to slip into a victim mentality by generalising behaviour (ie. all men/woman are…). This may feel good at first, and it certainly feels easier than looking in the mirror, but in the long-term, this mindset will sabotage any real chances at finding new love and keep you feeling stuck and powerless. Again, acknowledge your feelings but don’t dwell.
Embrace yourself
After a rejection, especially when we listen to our critical inner voice, it’s easy for self-doubt and insecurities to raise their ugly heads and can leave us feeling less sure of ourselves. When we’ve been left by someone, we may find ourselves feeling out of place. It may become difficult to visit certain places, see certain people, or partake in activities for a while. However, this situation presents an opportunity to really connect with our individuality, your own needs. What is it that you enjoy doing? Who are you outside of a relationship? Focussing on defining yourself anew again, can get you out of heartbreak-mode much faster. Realising that you have a whole life outside of whatever rejection you’ve experienced, and that life will go on.
Lost your lust? Here are 5 ways to reigniting your desires
Does the idea of a naughty roll in the hay leave you feeling a bit ‘meh’ these days? Maybe you are having a bit of a dry spell or you haven’t been feeling like the hungry sex kitten that you are. If that’s the case, it’s time to take action! Here are 5 ways to get yourself out of that funk and back on top (or under) of your next conquest.
Getting your sexy back takes a little effort but it will be ‘oh yes’ so worth it. Reconnect with your body, fantasies and desires. Here are our top 5 tips to get you all hot and bothered again.
Slip into something sexy
Been living in your yoga pants lately? We get it, comfort is life, but we’re here to get your libido purring again so it’s time to slip into something with a bit more ‘MEOW’. Whilst you don’t have to don the fishnets and heels every night, update your wardrobe with a few items that make you feel sexy for when you’re just relaxing. Perhaps something silky or a cute babydoll assemble to make you feel all naughty and girly.
Practice daydreaming
The mind is your biggest sex organ so put it to good use. Try thinking about the last time you had really great sex or fantasise about new and exciting scenarios. Really visualise the erotic encounter in your head and you’re guaranteed to whet your appetite for more. Think about what makes you feel sexy and discover yourself during pleasure play.
Watch a sensual movie
We’re visual beings so why not feast your eyes on something or someone sexy? Watch a movie with your favourite thirst trap or grab an erotic novel and delve into a sensual fantasy world of lust and desire. Feast your eyes, take it all in and feel that carnal desire reawaken inside of you.
Touch your skin
Take a shower and luxuriate in a bit of pampering, take the time to massage your skin with a sweet-smelling lotion, give yourself a neck rub to relax. Caress your skin for a few minutes each day using a soft brush, rounding your curves, making your skin tingle with anticipation of what’s to come.
Set the scene
Kids toys, dirty dishes and a pile of laundry are total passion killers. Book a babysitter or ask the grandparents to take the kids out for the day. Next create a sexy sanctuary for you and your hot lover. Have an adult-only zone full of things that serve to ignite your passion. We’re thinking silk ties and candle wax. Then it’s time to dive into your love nest and have some grown up time.
There are many ways to make you feel sexy and rediscover your joy for sex. Hopefully, these tips will help to make you feel excited about living out your lusty thoughts! Time to get down and dirty again.
Still looking for a willing partner to join your sexcapades? Check out our naughty dating pond for open-minded and always horny singles.
Tips for finding the best naughty dating site for you
These days you are spoilt for choice when it comes to adult dating sites. A quick online search will reveal the options catering for all kinds of naughty singles. Not everyone is after the same thing though and when it comes to adult dating most of us want to get straight to business – pun intended. But how do you pick one that is right for you? Here are some tips:
Ask around
One way to find one that might be for you is to get references. If you have friends that have used online adult dating sites, ask them about their experience. Find out what they liked about the site and what not. Decide based on their answers whether that site is for you but the only way you’ll know for sure is to give it a go for yourself.
Check out a few
The great thing with dating sites, and adult sites are no exception, is that you can try out several all at once and see which one you like best. Many are free to register, and most let you unlock additional paid-for features on a month by month basis.
Get stuck in
As the saying goes “you get out what you put in”, the same can be said for dating so get online and get involved. Spend a fair bit of time sprucing up your profile and make sure you add recent images. Start connecting rather than waiting to be approached. Just like regular dating, nobody is going to come knocking on your door unless they know that you are home and open to meeting new people. That is definitely the fun part, so jump in and find out who your horny neighbours are.
Test it out
Once you’ve started chatting you can discover if your matches are interested in the same turn-ons, kinks and fantasies. If you’re looking for ‘romance’ and ‘roses’ an adult dating site is probably not right for you.
What are you waiting for? Dive right into our Naughty Pond now and start discovering other frisky and willing singles looking for a steamy romp.
Important Things to Remember When on a Naughty Dating Site
If you’ve been online and swimming in our naughty pond for a while, you’re probably acquainted with the do’s and don’ts our members expect on the site. If you’re new to online dating, especially naughty dating, there are some important things you need to consider so you don’t come off looking like a newbie, or worse, a weirdo. So, here’s a handy guide for all you ‘freshlings’ thinking of frolicking in the deeper waters.
Get ready to date
Naughty singles come to the site to meet lots of like-minded people to have fun and sex with, so you better be prepared actually to go out on a date with people! What’s the point of joining if you have no intention of hooking up and having a bit of fun? Also, be prepared for rejection. Our singles know what they want and aren’t afraid to show it. Importantly, don’t be disheartened if not everyone falls for your fleshy assets right away. As we always say, ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’!
“Come-mitment”
When you join a naughty dating site like Plentymorefish.com it’s worth remembering that you’re not here to find a long-term relationship. This sexy pool is full of singles looking for excitement, adventure and no-strings attached sex. If you’re looking for fairy tales and romance, then the casual dating scene is not for you. Check out our regular singles pond instead.
Be realistic
I guess we all want to fuck someone who looks like a movie star, but you could be missing out on the romp of your life. Instead look for sexual compatibility, likes and dislikes etc. Ask questions and find out how they tick and what fantasies you share. There’s nothing worse than hooking up with someone who looks like a lumber jack but doesn’t know how to use his tools.
Beware of feelings
You’ve been hooking up, having a whale of a time and suddenly those pesky feelings are getting their hooks into you. You start to crave more. It happens, it’s ok. Make sure you talk to the subject of your newly caught feelings and tell them openly. They may reject you so no drama please. We’re all grownups here.
Ready to go for a salacious swim with horny singles? Join here.
Friends with Benefits – The Do’s and Don’ts for No-Strings Attached Relationships
Let’s be honest, a ‘friends with benefits’ deal is super fun, carefree and oh so sexy. All of the sex and none of the snooze. Sign me up!
As fun as FWB situationships are though, they can be just as tricky to navigate if there are no established ground rules. “But”, I hear you say, “what about the no-strings?”
Well my friend, I hate to burst your bubble but there’s not really a no-strings-deal. As with anything in life, love and horny hookups there are do’s and don’ts. Can you tell people you two are shagging or should you keep it to yourself? Can you bring a third person to the party or is it just you two? What if one of you wants to get more serious and start having a relationship i.e. catches feelings?
When lines start to get blurry your once fun and carefree relationship can quickly turn sour and no one wants that. So, don’t play fast and loose with peoples’ feelings and make sure you set some rules and boundaries right from the start to avoid heartbreak, drama and disappointments.
So, here’s what you should address if you want to keep it fun and light:
Be open and honest
Open communication is probably the most important factor in having a successful FWB relationship. Both of you need to be crystal clear about your intentions and expectations and you both need to be on board with them. It’s no use agreeing to something and hoping it will change later down the line or assuming that your friend will know what you meant when you described your relationship as casual. Clearly define what that means.
Is this REALLY for you?
On the subject of being honest…are you being honest with yourself? Have you considered if this is really for you? Can you handle the uncertainty that this type of relationship brings? Are you mature enough to separate sex and feelings? If the answer is no to any of the above, it’s advisable to stay clear and look for someone who wants the same things.
Protect Yourself
Think unwanted pregnancy. Think STDs. Whatever you do, please always practice safe sex – ALWAYS!!! Insist on condoms – no exceptions. It’s not worth the risk.
Check your expectations
A friends with benefits relationship is quite different from a romantic relationship. Don’t confuse the two and adjust your expectations – it’s boink and go. If you are looking for flowers, presents and deep conversations, you’re on the wrong path my friend.
Avoid doing things couples do
You know this is a temporary arrangement so don’t complicate matters by introducing them to your inner circle like family. Also, stay clear of couple-y behaviour like cuddling after sex, going shopping together and staying for breakfast if you want to keep it casual.
Don’t get jealous
Remember, this is casual and should come without strings so don’t turn into the green-eyed monster when they find someone else to hookup with. It’s not cheating and you’re both allowed to meet other people. If this wasn’t clear you haven’t set or discussed those crucial ground rules.
Above all, a no strings attached relationship is meant to be fun!
If you are ready to start dating open-minded singles check out our naughty singles pond.
Ready to get your kink on?
In recent years kink and BDSM have gained mainstream popularity and are no longer viewed as activities for the perverted few. And for good reasons. The world of Kink/BDSM (Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Sadism, Masochism) is as vast as there are forms of human sexual desires so there is something for everyone looking to get their rocks off. When practiced safely, BDSM can be hugely liberating, empowering and OH-SO-GOOD.
But whilst getting kinky is certainly fun, it can also do some real harm. Before you get all kinds of fifty shades, it is important to discuss any fantasies and activities before you try them, always get explicit consent from your partner and always set clear rules.
Ok, now that we got that important titbit out of the way, let’s add some zesty zing to that vanilla sex life of yours. Here are some safe kinks for you to try before expanding your ‘sexpertoire’ to more advanced levels.
Spanking
Definitely high on the list of fantasies for many, light spanking is a great way to get going with kink play. Start slowly using your hands and work your way up in intensity and choice of spanking tool (paddle, belt, whip). Don’t restrict your spanking to the buttock either, loads of people like to have their private parts spanked.
Hair Pulling
Pain and pleasure centres are closely connected and pulling a woman’s hair activates the nerve endings at the back of her neck, increasing the sensation she feels, especially during arousal. Combine this with naughty whispers and she’ll be writhing with pleasure.
Dirty Talk
Speaking of naughty whispers… discussing which words are ok (and not ok) to use during sex which includes name calling are all part of the consent parcel that should be agreed on before jumping in. Also consider which safe words you’ll use to let your partner know when it’s ok to keep going (green), when to slow down (yellow) and when to stop (red).
Light Bondage
If being tied up gets you going, start with a tie or a scarf at first. These are soft materials and are less likely to hurt or leave marks before you graduate to more serious kit like ropes and cuffs. Always make sure that blood circulation isn’t cut off (two fingers space between scarf and skin). Adding a blindfold to your play is going to bring focus to your other senses and the lack of control.
Restraints
Another form of bondage is restraining. Tying your partner to the bed while having your wicked way with them is a real turn on for many. If you are thinking of adding restraints to your routine, there are great options available online that are safe to use and great for beginners (check for quick release features).
Biting
Through biting (and clamps) you get to explore the world of arousal through pain. Much like hair pulling, biting is an amazingly simple, yet effective, stimulus. Use your safe words to control the intensity and try all the different body parts. Some people really like to have their nipples bitten, whilst others prefer their neck area.
Dominance/Submission
When you first start exploring a sub/dom dynamic define what each role means to you – there are so many possible interpretations and it’s important to be clear. A great way to apply this is through role play like student and teacher or queen and butler. Another simple tool to create a sub/dom scenario is the use of ‘master’ and ‘mistress’ during kink play time or being tied up whilst giving oral.
As we said before – there is something for everyone and these are obviously only a few ideas to get your kinky appetite going. Hop online for more salacious inspiration and and if you’re still looking for someone to explore your frisky fantasies with, check out our naughty dating pond.
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