Let’s call it what it is.
Dating is expensive!
Besides the cost of making yourself look less sasquatchey (pretty sure we’ve financed our beautician’s third salon) and more like the Snapchat Goddess that you are, you have the cost of the date itself – movies, dinners etc., all of which quickly deplete your fun budget. And yes, we always go Dutch!
So before you go and sign up to discount days on various voucher websites check out our date ideas that don’t suck (budget or balls):
Most big cities have places where you can hire a tandem bike and which are really affordable (around £40 for the whole day). It’s also also a right hoot and you get to explore your city (and your date’s bottom) more closely. Remember to take a picnic with you to refuel (*wink *wink) at the next park.
Pop-up Wine Bar
Vinery London is hosting another pop-up wine bar this Saturday. Just rock up and sample some delicious wines and pay what you think the night was worth (and based on how much you’ve guzzled away).
Volunteering together may not be the first thing that pops into your head when you think ‘hot date’ but it can be a really fun and rewarding experience. Head on over to http://www.do-it.org for some ideas and let’s not forget the mayjaaah karma points you score. Who knows, this could be your thing as a couple.
Just have pudding
A girl’s gotta eat, right? So next time you head on to a restaurant, why not ditch the starter and main course and just have one (or four) different desserts to share with your date instead? It will be cheaper and let’s face it, you will have the pudding anyway so you might as well have the brownie, lemon tart and creme brûlée at the same time.
Go to a festival
What’s better than to dance the night away with bae at a festival? Dancing the night away at a free festival of course. Check out this handy guide to find one in your area.
Do you have any other wallet-friendly date ideas you want to share with a fellow dater? Share them in the comments below!
It’s perfectly natural to feel nervous before a date. But what a time, right? Just when you want to be at your best! Don’t worry, it’s actually quite easy to manage those pre-date jitters. Here are some strategies we found to be quite effective:
Preparation is key
If you are one of those people who does everything that scares them at the very last moment, you are also likely to fret all the way leading up to your date, try to find an outfit an hour before or leave your house without really knowing where you are meeting your date. Not the best conditions to Keep Calm and Carry On Dating. So to ensure total dating zen, it’s definitely better to be prepared. Make sure you know what to wear, where to go and plan the things you can plan well in advance.
Set the right expectations
Often dating nerves can be caused by high expectations. The more importance you give the date, the more potential for pre-date nerves. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, try to relax and just see what happens. Your date will run more smoothly too, because you will be able to enjoy it more rather than ticking off boxes in your head.
Your body doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So instead of imagining something bad, try a positive thought. A nervous person’s body will send clear signals, such as raised shoulders, hunched torso and crossed arms which in turn will make you feel more anxious. But you can change your mental state in a very short time and here’s how you do it: Stand up tall, raise both arms in the air like you have just won an Olympic medal. Smile as brightly as you can. This may feel silly at first and I’d suggest you don’t necessarily try this on a crowded train (then again, why not?), but I promise you it does work. The key is to do it for at least 30 seconds and to really FEEL like a winner! Visualise yourself crossing that finish line, feel that winning feeling, your achey legs and stretched lungs. Hear the roar of the crowd and enjoy the moment. Try this exercise whenever you need a boost. The more you try it, the better and quicker it will work.
Let off steam
It’s no secret, that exercise is a great stress buster. This applies to date nerves too. So, hit the gym, go for a run or a brisk walk; anything to get that blood pumping round your body. Added benefits include a healthy glow, confident posture and an endorphin induced happy mood. All very attractive traits which your date is going to love.
One drink, two drink, three drinks, oops
Dutch courage may seem like a good idea, but drinking too much can cause you to make the wrong decisions and actually increase nervousness as alcohol depletes your vitamin B stores. For a calming bevvie try something more natural like camomile tea instead and have a little protein based snack to help keep your blood sugars even. Both will help to keep you calm.
So, do you think you are ready to start dating and put our strategies to the test? The hop over to Plentymorefish.com and find singles in your area.
It is believed that William Shakespeare wrote what would later become the most famous love story of all time – Romeo and Juliet – between 1591 and 1595. A quote from this tragic play is:
“Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”
It’s safe to say these words are as true as they were almost 450 years ago and what better way to honour the playwright than to take inspiration from his words. My guess is that you, dear reader, have experienced unrequited love before, much like rest of us. It happens. You love someone but they don’t love you back. The healthy way to deal with this is to recognise the truth and move on. Yet sometimes, people become so wrapped up in a relationship, it seems impossible for them to see just how unhealthy that relationship is. Read on and discover the signs of a bad relationship:
Your partner puts you down
If your partner calls you names, ridicules you or makes you feel like an idiot in private or in front of others then they are no good for you! No one should be made to feel inferior or stupid in a loving relationship and if that’s happening to you, it’s time to leave.
You are keeping secrets
If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your partner says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect him/her, you devalue your own principles and could damage other important relationships.
Your partner wants you to change
If you new partner is very critical of the things you do and the way you look, it’s safe to say they do not truly love you. In a healthy relationship you don’t have to apologise for who you are. A healthy relationship will get your confidence to grow. In an unhealthy one it will shrink.
You feel bad, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship
A loving and good relationship is happiness, equality, respect and kindness. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong person.
Your partner doesn’t trust you
Constant phone calls, texts, emails and demands on your time. Jealous fits and angry accusations are NOT signs of love! If your partner doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your love. Opening your post or showing up at work unexpectedly, means they don’t trust you. This is a sign of deep insecurity, which could lead to more serious relationship problems.
Your partner controls everything
Your partner making all the decisions may give you the illusion you are with a confident person but the need to control every aspect your life together is often another sign of deeply rooted insecurities. These are not easily dealt with and can be a sign of bad times ahead. A healthy relationship is a democracy, not a dictatorship.
You constantly argue about financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future and can’t seem to agree on your plans for the future. Perhaps it’s time to rethink this relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples have the same goals and desires.
Your loved ones don’t approve of your relationship
No one should choose their partner based on their family and friends’ opinions, but it’s still important to take their opinions into consideration. If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner, seek specific reasons. Find out the root of their feelings, and try to be objective.
Saying they love you but not showing it
We’ve all done things in the past that have upset others, often unintentionally. But doing something knowingly that will upset the other person clearly shows a lack of respect. If your partner doesn’t care about your needs and wants, it’s really not healthy.
Be honest with yourself – the sooner you face the truth, the sooner you can start over. Everyone has a right to be happy and to be loved for who they are.
Does any of the above resonate with you? Have you been in an unhappy relationship? What made you decide to end it?
Your comments are as always welcome.
Ladies, how often have you been on a date and have asked yourself what your date is thinking and wondered whether he fancies you or not? How often did you come away from a date and thought he likes you, only to never hear from him again? Frustrating, right? Wouldn’t it be great if you could read the signs better and avoid this type of disappointment?
Well you can! To understand the signs of attraction or the lack of, you will need to delve into the art of reading body language. We all do it on a subconscious level every day and women choose from 52 moves to show men they’re interested, whereas the average man chooses from a maximum of 10 to attract a woman. So us gals have it a lot easier to spot what he’s subconsciously feeling and here are 3 giveaways*:
Watch the eyebrows
Pay close attention to his eyebrows. If he likes you, he’ll raise them for a split second, or more precisely, a fifth of a second. A flash of the eyebrow is a good measure for spotting interest. It’s something we all do, regardless of age, ethnicity or class. But as it’s so subtle, it’s very easy to miss. When you do spot it though, you can use it to your advantage and raise your brows deliberately in response to signal clear interest. It’ll be like a billboard sign flashing the words “I like you”.
Watch the mouth
If his lips part slightly for a moment when your eyes meet, he likes what he sees. He’ll flare his nostrils slightly, his eyes will widen and his body and feet will point towards you. Generally his face and demeanor will appear more ‘open’, more approachable as to closed off.
Watch the movements
Movements such as smoothing down his hair or adjusting his tie are all part of what experts call preening gestures. It’s like the female lip licking, meaning “I want to look my best for you”. Preening happens involuntarily and more often than people think. To check this, excuse yourself as you head to the ladies and casually look over your shoulder, and you may just catch him adjusting his appearance.
So, there you have it. For more tips and tricks on reading body language we can recommend The Definitive Book of Body Language: How to Read Others’ Attitudes by Their Gestures by Allan and Barbara Pease.
*The above paragraphs are guidelines. Circumstances, like the nerves and pressures of a first date, can influence someone’s behaviour. But in case it does turn out, he’s not that into you, remember, there’s plenty more fish in the sea and your perfect catch is out there.
You have been single for some time now and regularly go on dates in your attempt to find Mr/Miss Right. Yet, somehow it’s not happening and you are slowly beginning lose hope that you will ever find that special person. This is natural and it happened to me too. I was single for almost 2 years and each time I went on a date, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh, I hope he’s The One!” Needless to say that my high expectations were dashed each time.
So, what’s changed? I told a friend about my situation, and true to her straight shooting character, she bluntly told me to, “just chill”. I was hurt and miffed at first. Didn’t she know how important this was? How serious?
Recalling my most recent dates, I was embarrassed to think of my behaviour, realising I had been trying way too hard and as a result I had scared them all away.
That’s when it hit me. I had turned into Datezilla!
Once my perspective had shifted though, I was able to see dates for what they are, a great opportunity to meet interesting people and I started to make the most of them. I began to have fun and paid attention to the person I was with, rather than analysing each and every word, movement or signal. I began to relax and so did my dates. And it wasn’t long before that special someone popped into my life without me even trying. Funny how these things work out.
So, my dating advice to you singles out there is:
- Listen more, talk less
- Have more fun
- Stop trying so hard
- Be yourself
That’s all you can do. Dating should be fun, not a chore. So, in the words of my (brutally honest) friend, “Just chill.”
If you liked this blog please tell us why. We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Did you know?
If PlentyMoreFish were a country, it would be larger than The Cook Islands!
…and it’s growing…tremendously. The number of PMF visitors overtook the population of Anguilla only last week.
So what would a plentymorefish.com naked meetup look like? (I hear you ask!)
If daily PMF visitors were to meet up…in the nude, it would look a little bit like this. However, we don’t recommend you doing it as you may get yourself into a spot of bother…probably with the police. 😐
Oh and by the way, this would actually set a new world record!
There we are then. The answers to the two questions I know you were all dying to ask 🙂
*Figures based on daily visitors.
Hi fellow daters!
Just received an email of Wendy. She met her Phil on Plenty More Fish and we think that’s pretty fab, right? So here’s a big cyber kiss :-* from us to Wendy for sharing their story and we hope you guys the best and happiest future together! x
Phil mentioned that he was on Plenty More Fish and I thought that I’d give it a try. We saw each others profiles and made contact online. We’d met previously, but it was fun having a chat and interesting to read what interested the both of us. We got to know one another and the friendship developed; we met at our local modern jive group, as we both enjoy dancing and have very similar interests. When we danced, our eyes met and it was as if the rest of the world vanished. We now see each other every day, were inseperable!
Thank you P.M.F, you helped to bring us two together. We’ll have to see whats in store for us now, but we ll keep you up to date!
Wendy & Phil
Ready to go fishing? Cast your net at Plentymorefish.com . Registration is FREE and you could be browsing for singles in your area right away!