It won’t have escaped your attention that in just over three weeks the most romantic (and equally most dreaded) day of the year, Valentine’s Day, will be upon us.
For new couples this can be pretty daunting and place a lot of unnecessary pressure on a new relationship. You may have only met your perfect match online a few weeks ago, but you can already imagine the two of you on February 14th exchanging gifts and having a romantic evening together. You’ll spend ages finding the sweetest, wittiest card that has just enough sentiment without being too close to those three words ‘I love you’, you’ll painstakingly scour Not on the High Street for an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift and you’ll go all out and book that fancy new restaurant in town instead of the Chinese all you can eat buffet.
Stop! For a minute let’s all take a breather. Whilst there is nothing wrong in telling or showing someone how you much you like them, Valentines Day is just one day out of 364 others, and a meaningful relationship isn’t built over a bouquet of roses. Grand gestures pale in comparison to the littler acts of appreciation, thoughtfulness and sincerity.
When you start a new relationship everything is exciting. The simple ping of your phone telling you that you’ve got a message, those ‘good night’ and ‘good morning’ texts and those surprise date nights to pick you up and get you through a tough week are all little things that matter early on. It is about getting to know each other, what makes your partner tick, the little foibles and things that make you smile about each other. The unnecessary commercialism that is placed on Valentine’s Day takes all that away and it stops being a day to establish and grow your relationship and having fun.
Then there is the added problem of what if you and the person you’re seeing aren’t on the same page as to how to celebrate? Maybe one of you is all about grand gestures and going all out to treat the other person whilst the other partner is all about sentiment and “it’s the thought that counts.”
Do enough just to mark the day. By all means, acknowledge it but don’t make the whole day revolve or be about Valentine’s Day.
If you’re seeing each other during the day plan something different for an activity. Why not consider doing something quirky together such as going to a make your own pottery place and creating something together. Go to places that won’t be full of hundreds of other couples – head out to the countryside and find a nice country walk with a halfway pub. If you live near the coast take a walk along the headland and draw funny messages in the sand. Restaurants are over priced so get creative and consider doing something at home like a romantic picnic, add in some candles or fairy lights and big floor cushions and create a foodie delight to enjoy together. If your relationship is at that stage you could always play some naughty food games for fun and there are lots of aphrodisiac foods you can enjoy together!
These are just a couple of ideas on how you could spend Valentine’s Day with your new partner; if you have more we’d love to hear them.
Remember, that spending time together on Valentine’s Day is more important than anything, so make it count.