How to become a pro cowgirlđ
âDo you want to get on top?â The question some women dread to hear. You were having a great time but now youâre just worrying about how you look or how youâre moving. Itâs not always as easy as it looks, as much as you all want to channel your inner cowgirl sometimes a little guidance might help, so weâve put a list of tips and tricks together that may help you out in your next rodeo.
First things first, being on top gives you a lot more control than you realise, you control the speed, angles, the intensity, and you also set the rhythm so itâs easier to stick to something that feels good for you.
Donât go too fast
Itâs not about speed. Great sex is about rhythm and motion, so if you donât feel in sync with your partner then to try to reconnect with them. If youâre moving too fast, it can be more difficult for your partner to keep up and you fall out of rhythm with each other. Youâll also tire out much faster â take it slow and savour it.
Tie your hair up
Youâve probably heard someone say, âshe means businessâ after you tie your hair up. Thatâs because you really do. It can get steamy and sweaty during your time in the bedroom and the last thing you want to happen is for your hair to get caught or stuck to your face or neck and annoy you. Itâs also ready for the cowboy to give it a little tug or pull.
Talk dirty
Get close and personal with your partner, try whispering something dirty in their ear and see how much it turns you on. Just let go and be in the heat of the moment, letting your imagination run wild.
The Coconut Trick
According to the web spelling out the word coconut using your hips is the most exciting way to go ride your naughty bronco. Going at a medium pace and allowing you and your partner feel each letter can leave you and your partner wanting more.
Donât jump between motions quickly
You might be excited to try all of the different motions you can think of, or maybe youâre just bored of the one youâre doing already but try not to swap and change the motions too much, it can be difficult for you and your partner to be in sync and connect with each other.
Are you wanting to try out these tips and tricks? đ Head over to our Naughty Pond to find fellow singles ready to have some fun.
How to reject someone (kindly)ďżź
Letâs be honest, rejecting someone is awkward. Youâre not sure what to say without causing offence and you donât want to leave them confused or thinking something is wrong with them. Being rejected isnât a nice feeling, so itâs important that we do it properly with as much damage control as possible. Weâve put together a list of tips when it comes to how to reject someone nicely, so next time youâre being approached by someone who doesnât tickle your fancy just remember these tips.
Focus on your needs
Let them know that you donât think that your needs are being met. Being open and honest about it allows them to realise that the issue isnât necessarily anything to do with them but about compatibility. Mention that you hope they find someone more fitting to what theyâd want.
Donât leave them in the unknown
The last thing you want to do is leave the other person confused about why youâre not responding or youâre pushing back the date for the 3rd time. Make it easier on them and let them know where youâre at and why youâre no longer interested.
Be clear with them, if you donât think theyâre the right person for you then make sure they know that so that youâre not giving off the message to wait around until youâre ready for a relationship etc.
Talk about your chemistry
When we meet somebody, we all want to experience that âsparkâ or âclickâ. Knowing we have both emotional and sexual chemistry with the other person makes for a great relationship, but when one or both are missing it can make it difficult to want to say yes to the next date without fearing youâre leading the other one on. So be honest, tell them youâre great but I donât feel like we have chemistry and thatâs important to me. Itâs a swift and kind way of doing it, and they canât argue about the things that you donât feel.
Accept that itâll probably hurt them
Letâs be honest, being rejected by a crush feels painful, especially if youâve been on a date with them and you feel like there is potential. Unfortunately, you cannot help this happening, itâs best to be kind and clear. Picture it as if youâre the one thatâs being rejected and tell them as nicely as youâd like to be told.
Although our tips have generally talk about being open and honest with the other person about your needs and why youâre not interested, remember that you donât owe anyone a detailed justification. Just let them know youâre not interested, and you donât want to take it any further. Itâs not harsh, itâs just direct and clear.
If youâre in search of some fellow singles ready for commitment, then head over to Plentymorefish.
How to feel more ‘in the moment’ during sex
Itâs not unusual to hear that many people feel they arenât entirely in the moment during their sexcapades. A study by Ferly (a sexual wellness app) found that 92% of women donât feel present during sex meaning yes, it is a common experience and no, thereâs nothing wrong with you.
Itâs no surprise that we all get so easily distracted during sex, we have things like phones that ping with every notification leaving you wondering who texted you or what meme your best friend tagged you in this time. Not only this, but we all have over-active minds consumed by work, relationships, family and what weâre going to eat for dinner tomorrow night. But thinking about something else can completely knock you off course for a pleasurable experience. What was meant to be a fun 30 minutes upstairs, can instead be taken over by our endless mind chatter.
It’s not only our thoughts that can be our worst enemy in the bedroom, ideas of how weâre perceived by our partners can also be distracting. Do I look sexy enough? Am I shaven/not shaven enough for their liking? Iâm sure youâve found yourself wondering about something to do with your appearance at one point during sex. If so, youâll know how distracting and insecure it can feel at times.
Feeling more present during sex is so important to having a pleasurable experience, any distractions and you can most possibly count out the probability of having an orgasm unless you get your head back into the (bed)room. Next time try these quick tips:
A digital detox
Hide your phone away from the bedroom, leave it downstairs on the sofa or put away on silent in your bedside table. This way youâll find that when your phone buzzes you wonât even know, and you can worry about responding to the WhatsApp group chat after. The more you do this, the more youâll allow yourself to fully be present during sex.
Focus on touch
When you feel yourself getting distracted, bring yourself back to what you feel. Focusing on how YOU feel is so essential to derive pleasure from sex. If it helps close your eyes and just concentrate on the feeling. Then bring back all the senses individually, listening to what your partner is whispering in your ear, start talking dirty and youâll find by this point any distractions have disappeared.
Make eye contact
If youâre feeling that focusing on solely how you feel is not working, then try making eye contact with your partner. This can help to create a connection and to be honest, eye contact is pretty sexy as it is.
Make requests.
Asking for what you want during sex is a great way to keep your mind in the game. Donât focus on what your partner isnât doing, instead focus on what would make you feel better. If you look at it that way then youâll find yourself searching more for the pleasurable feeling than the disappointing feeling, and by searching for a pleasurable feeling youâre less likely to get distracted.
Sexy time can change and differ, sometimes you may find you are completely excited by them, and you lose track of time and other times you may just pray and think of England, praying for it to be over soon.
Above all try to have fun and youâll soon feel yourself relaxing and enjoying the experience.
If youâre looking for fun, sexy singles to help warm up your bed then check out the Naughty Pond. It might just be your lucky dayđ
Setting boundaries in relationships
Setting boundaries can be difficult, it can be a bit of a struggle to know where to start or even what classes as a âboundaryâ. Often, we think if we say ânoâ then we risk losing part of the relationship or even friendship. But putting boundaries into place is a way normal and healthy way of protecting ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Having that discussion about boundaries can feel awkward or you may not know what to say, particularly if the relationship game is new to you, here are a few pointers to think about when starting a new relationship.
Be honest about what you need
In a new relationship everything is rosy, and you probably think you donât need much from your partner because you just enjoy the time you spend with them. But you need to think further down the line, if this relationship has the potential to be serious then you need to think about what you want from your partner. From being open about their feelings to not leaving towels on the bathroom floor.
You need to get clear with yourself what youâre comfortable and not comfortable with, and then be able to communicate that to your partner, so they know exactly what to expect and how to meet your needs and expectations.
Listen to what your partner needs
After youâve had your say about what you want from the relationship, listen to what your partner needs and we donât mean just listen to respond, or to shake it off. But really listen. Listen and then think what you can do to meet those needs.
Designate when you need space
In the beginning of a relationship, you may want to be around your person as much as you can. Even trips to Tesco are fun when your partner is coming along. But if youâre finding that spending a lot of time together is getting a bit too much for you, then ask for space. The last thing you want to happen is you getting irritated because you feel like you see no one but your partner, so be honest and take time away from each other.
Communicate what you can tolerate
Knowing what you can tolerate is particularly important to prevent those arguments which can crop up. When talking about what you can tolerate, we mean not just those times your partner walks past the dirty plates and doesnât wash them up. But particularly emotionally, we all get affected differently by actions and as a result how we react may differ. So, itâs important to let your partner know if youâre sensitive to being lied to, shouted at, silenced etc.
You should be able to communicate anything in your relationship but itâs also the way itâs communicated which is important. Try to remember to not expect a person to simply know what you need or can tolerate, itâs always best to be up front.
Communication is vital in a relationship and for it to work you need to remember that, however much weâd like them to read our minds, they just canât.
If youâre ready to venture into the world of dating, Plentymorefish can help you along the way. Join now to find fellow singles looking for love.
Your Sexy Christmas Gift Guide
Are you last minute buying ready for Christmas, and you still have no idea what to get your partner? Why not try something different which is sure to excite them. Weâve put together a few items for inspiration which you can be sure will brighten up their Christmas morning (itâs probably best to keep these presents between you bothđ). There are a range of items for different budgets, whether you want to really spoil them or keep this little present as a Christmas surprise.
Lovehoney Board Game
Lovehoney have a few board games which range from ÂŁ9.99 to ÂŁ32.99. âAfter Darkâ is their most expensive product but it makes a great date night activity. There are a variety of actions you need to complete and questions to answer, so itâs a great way to create a steamy atmosphere and find out more about each other.
If youâre looking for a cheaper option, âSex!!!â is a great game which gets straight to the point. Itâs a foreplay and sexplay board game which again can be used at the end of date night.
Make bath time sexy
If your partner is one to enjoy a nice bath and even more so, when you join them. Why not treat them to some bath time products. Lovehoney sell a variety of products varying from your Sexbombs đ to your bubble soaks and rose petals infused with scents to liven up your sexual desires.
Sexbombs infused with Pheromone are created to arouse and relax you, prices at ÂŁ7.99 it could make a great stocking filler for a lover or even for yourself this Christmas.
They also have their Apothecary range Bubble Bath, this collection is designed to sensually excite you with its scent, so you can be sure that the bathroom wonât be the only thing thatâs getting steamy.
Adult Advent Calendars
These arenât the kind you can pop to Tesco for, but theyâre definitely a present that is filled with surprises. There are plenty of different advent calendars out there, but if youâre looking to splash a little more cash, Ann Summers have a 12 Nights of Indulgence product.
This gift is perfect for your girlfriend, wife, female lover or even a friend. It has a variety of products, varying from sex toys to scents and sex position cards. Itâs the perfect gift to get your partner excited on the run up to Christmas, in more ways than one.
Bondage Kits
If you want to take your relationship to the next level in the bedroom, then bondage kits are something you may want to invest in if youâve had the conversation with your partner already. There are some basic kits out there to get you started and exploring, they range in prices and items depending on whether you want to venture outside of handcuffs or youâre comfortable using just those.
Why not check out our Beginnerâs Guide to BDSM whilst youâre at, youâll find more information on bondage, making you a pro before youâve even started.
There are a wide variety of gifts you can get your partner to spice up the bedroom. Check out websites like Ann Summers and Lovehoney to find some great steals which you can get just in time for Christmas.
If youâre looking for fellow singles to get down and dirty in some no-strings attached sex, then head over to our Naughty Pond.
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What to do if your date is ‘keeping their options open’
Weâve all experienced the grey area of a relationship one way or another. Your date isnât being totally communicative about what page theyâre on, or maybe they have, and theyâve made it pretty clear theyâre not ready for commitment but are still putting dates in the diary for dinners at your favourite restaurant. It can be confusing; do you stay in hopes theyâll change their mind a few more months down the line? Or do you hop off that train to find someone who is heading in towards the same destination as you â commitment.
What do you want from this situation?
Commitment is a big deal. It shouldnât be something you just settle for because itâs the easiest option or because you feel better having someone in your life. By choosing that one person, the other opportunities to bump into someone at bars or whilst youâre commuting to work disappear. No, itâs not a commitment to walk down the aisle but you should take the time to figure out what youâre committing to before making the jump.
If you only want to date one person at a time, then be clear with yourself (and the other person) and establish that boundary before you step into the dating world. Donât feel pressured to extend your dating circle because your dateâs style includes a few more people than youâre used to. Compromising on the type of relationship you want is the last thing you want to be doing, inevitably it will bring up feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and instability within the relationship.
If you want more, donât assume you can change what they want and can convince them that commitment is the way forward. Take their word for it, and donât believe they just need a âgentle pushâ. Same goes for those that avoid the âwhat are we?â questions after a few months of dating, their inability to communicate is probably a sign the relationship status isnât going to level up.
From here, you need to switch the focus to you. Decide what is right for you and will make you happy. Whether thatâs taking a complete step back to honour what you want and to find one person who wants the same things and give it your all. Or you could give your date 50% instead of 100%. This means the focus switches from them and onto to other factors in your life that make you feel fulfilled and happy, and most importantly give you value. It could be as simple as going out with friends, doing activities you enjoy, gaining some independence or even venturing out into the world of dating some more and increasing your dating circle.
The real answer to the question âWhat do I do?â is that no one can tell you, thereâs no rule book or guide to dating. Itâs about being honest with yourself and your feelings. You can still date and have a bit of fun without commitment, just make sure youâre both on the same page first.
If youâre wanting to explore the world of dating, then join Plentymorefish and get connecting with like-minded singles looking for love.Â
4 proven ways to get over rejection
Rejection. Weâve all felt it, whether thatâs from a relationship, a job or a friend. Weâve all been there. But rejection in love hurts, it can be ruthless in destroying self-confidence and sometimes hard to bounce back from. Even the likes of Brad Pitt and Zac Efron have probably felt rejection in their life. Some people get up and bounce back and some it consumes. So to help you bounce back, weâve put together 4 ways of getting over rejection.
First, letâs scratch the word ârejectionâ
Itâs important to remember that the person who rejected made a choice against you and not because of you. 90% of the time, itâs actually because of their own state of mind and desires rather than you personally. When you think of it as them and not you, you realise itâs not your burden to deal with and you shouldnât have to cope with it. Essentially, view it as happening for you, not to you. As many people say, âItâs a blessing in disguiseâ.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel valued
Being rejected can be a bit of a dampener on the ego and may have us doubting our own self-worth. Rejection ultimately unsettles our need to belong. Thatâs why itâs important to spend time with people who make you feel loved and valued, whether thatâs simply going for a walk or grabbing a bite to eat. Hanging out with a friend who accepts and values you will remind you that youâre valued. Opening up actually really helps with coping with rejection and can be a saving grace, whether thatâs simply to vent about the situation or having a reassuring pep talk.
Be Thankful
As Ariana Grande once said, âThank You, Nextâ and this is exactly the attitude you want to have. Those that reject you are helping you figure out more information about what you want and donât want from a partner and are even helping you learn more about yourself, whether thatâs how to be more resilient or develop the sensitive side of yourself, every partner is there to teach you a lesson.
A good way to look at it is that every rejection is just you being freed up for the right person. Itâs true when they say, âyou have to kiss some frogs before finding your personâ.
Make a list of everything that makes you great
For those that struggle, try giving yourself a compliment. If this is too hard for you to do right now, ask a friend to tell you what they love about you so they can remind you how great you are. By making a list of things that make you a great person, youâre helping to boost your self-esteem and in turn curb any negative self-talk. Itâs essentially a way of affirming our own worth and not letting rejection dampen our confidence.
If youâre finding yourself wanting to get back out there and delve into the world of dating, check out Plentymorefish to find your match.
How to make sex last longer
Whilst quickies can be exciting and get steamy, thereâs a chance you donât want every sexcapade to be over in just a couple of minutes. For the most part, sex is to be enjoyed without having to worry about time limits or being interrupted and to get the absolute most enjoyment out of every session. Weâve put a list of tips and tricks together that could help you add a few more minutes in the bedroom.
1. Condoms
Practicing safe sex is a non-negotiable and using condoms not only keep you safe but they are said to make you last longer. Double bonus! They decrease sensitivity, so itâs recommended if youâre wanting to prolong it even further then you should use the thicker condoms.
2. Reduce Stimulation
Stimulation plays a part in bringing your body to orgasm, even if it is just a little tease before the main event. It might be smart to try desensitising gels or delay lube, to help prolong the feeling even more. You could also turn the focus to stimulating your partner so that you last longer, itâs a win-win situation.
3. Try a new location
Sometimes we get stuck in a rut when it comes to getting busy in the sheets, particularly if weâre always in the same location i.e., le boudoir. By switching up, you trick your mind out of autopilot and into novelty mode which will increase pleasure as novelty can be a huge turn on.
4. Put aside time for UNINTERRUPTED sex
Weâre not saying that sex must be spontaneous to last longer but making sure thereâs time for both you and your partner to get comfortable and excited is important. The last thing you want to be doing is rushing the experience so you can get to work in time for your meeting. This also means setting time aside where you know your phone can be on âdo not disturbâ and you wonât be worrying about the calls or emails flooding in.
5. Spend more time on foreplay
Whilst foreplay may make the intercourse part shorter, it will extend the sex session as a whole and will help you both in feeling satisfied and, as they say, itâs always good to do a warm-up before any type of workout đ.
If youâre ready to find a fellow sexy single to explore with, then head over to the Naughty Pond.
Looking for love after a lockdown
The past 18 months have been tough, weâve been through some confusing times and itâs no surprise that many of us have struggled throughout it. Some of us have been lucky, having family and housemates to keep us company through the madness, but some of us have been on our own making it difficult to re-emerge into this new world trying to navigate the world of dating at the same time.
Take things slow
You should know that itâs completely normal to feel nervous about dating again, we all only just got used to getting half dressed for a date over a Zoom call, but now we actually have to match the bottoms to the top weâre wearing! But before this, you need to ask yourself whether youâre ready to step back into the dating world again. Is it important for you to be dating or are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
Donât be tricked into thinking that time is ârunning outâ and start rushing into relationships in the hope that theyâre the âoneâ. Yes, time has passed whilst weâve been lockdown, but your priorities may have changed, you may want to do different things with your life after experiencing so little in so long. So, now might be a good time to re-evaluate what you want from a relationship before searching for your dream man/woman.
Prepare for dating
Whilst the dating world is not the hunger games, itâs still best to prepare before joining the arena again. Remember, youâre not the only one who is hesitant about getting back out there. You might be eager and anxious all at once â worrying not only about the date itself but also about any restrictions that are in place. Do I need my mask? Has my date taken a test?
To stop these nerves, itâs best to establish boundaries as much as you can with your date and with yourself. If youâre worried about testing and masks, research the date location to check out any restrictions which they may still have in place (itâs always handy to keep a mask with you anyway), discuss any concerns with your date before the date. Getting these worries out of the way will ease your mind and will only leave room for the ânormalâ pre-date jitters we all get.
Make sure you feel like your best self
Why not treat yourself to a new outfit or a new fragrance youâve been wanting to try? Dating is all about finding someone who matches your best self, so be the best version of you by being comfortable and confident. Weâre not saying you have to change your appearance or become a whole different person but do what makes you feel good. Whether thatâs a new outfit or a self-care ritual.
Above all, itâs important you feel comfortable going back into the world of dating, so if, for now, meeting up with a date seems a little daunting for you then try something a bit more laid back and more your style. Virtual dating worked for a while during lockdown, thereâs no harm in it sticking round a while longer.
If you’re ready to venture into the world of dating Plentymorefish to help you along the way. Join now to find fellow singles looking for love.
5 Ways to Boost your Sex Drive
A ânormalâ sex drive looks different for everyone. There are many different factors which work together that can cause a lower sex drive in some compared to others. Low libido is more common than many realise, and everyone can experience it at some. For those who enjoy sex, it can be frustrating when what once was an active sex life becomes a dull affair. We understand the frustration, so weâve done a bit of research to find simple ways that could boost your sex drive to help you get your mojo back.
Find a way to connect to your body
Sex is just one way of connecting yourself to your body but there are many other ways you could do this. Go out and find opportunities that bring pleasure into your life. This could be anything from dancing to practicing yoga, to taking yourself out on a date. The key is bringing back the confidence and the joy, which you can then bring home to your partner. When youâre in a joyful state your mind is more open to ideas, and you may even find yourself open to new sexual experiences.
Schedule sex
Whilst you may think scheduled sex is not sexy, it is the best way to ensure that youâre prioritising pleasure. Think of the anticipation of what youâll see, the excitement of maybe a different location, this can all build up to allow for a better experience. It also gives you time to prepare and get in the mood, whether thatâs having a hot bath with candles, reading erotica, or simply putting on a new set of sexy lingerie.
Introduce your toys
If you know that your toys will help to give you the pleasure you desire, then introduce them into the bedroom as well. Thereâs no shame in adding them to help get you in the mood. Physical arousal can help create the sensation that we get before we want to take our clothes off. You could even get your partner involved by letting them take control of the toy or letting them watch you.
Pump up your pelvic floor
There could be many reasons why your sex drive is low, it could be hormonal shifts, stress or even childbirth. There are many women who struggle with a weakened pelvic floor at some point in their life and this can lead to a decreased feeling of arousal. Trying pelvic floor exercises can strengthen the muscles, giving you more control over your body and can also give you stronger orgasms. Check out the blog post written by Denise Brodey, she gives you numerous exercises you can use to pump up your sex drive.
Lay off the alcohol
You may think after a few cocktails your sex drive has skyrocketed and you just canât keep your hands off your partner, and whilst this may be true, the days to follow may prove difficult to get yourself in the mood and alcohol has been proven to suppress sex drive. Itâs also been said that alcohol reduces satisfaction and makes it more challenging to perform in the bedroom. So, if you want those mind-blowing orgasms, itâs probably best to stay off the margaritas.
There are many different reasons why you can have a low libido, itâs important to remember that itâs completely normal and everyone experiences it at some point. So, next time youâre getting frustrated because you just canât get in the mood, try one of these methods and see if it works for you.
Are you ready to find a sexy single to get naughty in the sheets with? Head over to the Naughty Pond and get searching.
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