It’s true that breaking up with someone is hard to do. I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys telling someone it’s time to call quits on a relationship. Gone are the days it seems when you would meet up face to face and tell each other over dinner or coffee (as weird as that now seems looking back) that your relationship was over. Now it is all about being dumped by text, or even worse by social media.
And that is exactly what happened to a friend of mine this weekend. She phoned me in a state of disarray saying that her latest online dating match had texted her saying ‘that on reflection his life was too chaotic to add a relationship into the mix’. Whilst sympathetic to her tears, I did mention that they’d only just moved off WhatsApp messaging and gone on two physical dates, so surely he was just sparing them some social awkwardness in person. Alas, she didn’t quite see it in the same way.
But in reality is it THAT bad to dump someone by text? Surely there are times when it’s socially ok to spare each other the embarrassment of tears in public.
In an attempt to offer some impartial advice here are some instances it could be considered ok to dump someone by text.
It’s a new relationship – if you and your date are still relatively new, and have only been out three or four times then dumping by text is totally acceptable. You barely know each other and so there is nothing to be gained by a long drawn out letter (you probably don’t even know addresses yet) or a face to face meeting. In fact, if the relationship is that new you could probably just get away with disappearing off the face of the earth rather than an official break up text. No big drama.
Your date is avoiding you / you suspect they are cheating – let’s face it if the person you’ve been dating isn’t returning calls or texts or you have suspicions that they are playing the field then frankly they don’t deserve the courtesy of a break-up text. Just move on.
Your relationship is purely a digital one – if so far your relationship has been purely screen-based and conducted by social media then putting the brakes on it in the same way won’t come as out of the ordinary either.
The relationship is toxic – so you’ve been on a few dates that seemed ok, but then came a turning point and your date’s behaviour has become unstable, unhealthy and overall a little bit toxic. In this case breaking up by text message is absolutely the safest thing to do. Don’t put yourself in a 1:1 situation with them where you might get hurt. Distance is safest.
You are in a long distance relationship – if your location was poles apart and you rarely saw each other and your relationship was all done by Skype and text then it is obviously more logical (and friendly on the bank balance) to break up in this way. Seriously, though if you’ve spent months writing heartfelt essays to each other then that someone deserves a little more than your standard digital breakup.
Whilst this post is a lighthearted jest about digital breakups, if you’ve got to a point of emotional closeness, or been dating for longer than three months, seen each regularly, slept together and been mutually exclusive to each other then you really owe it to the other person in the relationship to give them your time and honesty face to face.
Have you ever dumped someone by text message or social media or had it done to you? How did you feel? Would you ever end a relationship in this way?
Let’s be honest for a moment and put it on the table; dating in your 40s is pretty grim (ok, personal experience talking, it is bleaker than a public service station restroom at the side of a deserted motorway). At 40 the competition is steeper and it becomes a whole lot more confusing and you’ll find the type of men in the over 40s dating pool very different.
Here are some truths that could help you navigate the tricky path of mature dating.
The men are having a mid-life crisis
Men like younger women. A lot of men in their 30’s and 40’s seem to have an awakening moment and panic that they’re getting old and as a knee jerk reaction go out and find the perkiest 25-year-old they can find in an attempt to settle down. Even if you are near their own age they will still see you as ‘old’ and dismiss your profile. Harsh. You may well be witty, successful, outgoing and smart but none of that matters in their heads once you are in the over 40’s club.
You attract that toy boys
An older, gorgeous, confident and self-assured woman is an absolute lure for a man in his late 20s. To them, the age gap works in their favour as you’ll be comfortable and well skilled in the bedroom and the perfect teacher for them to learn some tricks. It may suit you to end up with a 25-year-old toy-boy between the sheets but you’ll struggle to find someone old enough to suit your lifestyle and goals if you go down this path. Think late night booty calls and the wonders of dick pics…really??
You love your kids but not everyone else does
Having kids and attempting to get back to dating and relationships is tough. All the time you are mindful of their needs and emotions. You’re careful not to introduce them to every date, you question when to introduce them to the date and then you’re also trying to juggle a date around organising child care. For some guys the fact you’re a mother will discount you instantly; remember… that says way more about them than it does about you. Equally, you don’t need to introduce them to everyone unless you think that person is going to have some level of permanence in your life. If you enter a relationship be upfront about your kids and whether you realistically want more and you’ll soon find out which guys are serious about sticking around.
You’re set in your ways
Dating in your 40’s means you know what you want – this translates to you’re stubborn and won’t deviate from your ideal situation. Your list of dating dealbreakers is far more set in stone than it was when you were 25, and if you’re looking to settle down and start a family this is now crunch time and you’re going to be super picky about it.
There’s too much choice
Your phone is full of dating apps, you have RSI in your thumb from continual swiping and you’ve moved to second base (WhatsApp) with several potentially interested parties. Stop! Too much choice is a bad thing and makes it harder for you to spot the genuine guys who are real relationship material. If you want a partner with a similar professional mindset and age to your own then it is quite possibly you need to be looking at mature dating websites rather than the usual hookup apps.
You’re flying solo
Chances are that by this point all your other female friends are married, also have kids or are in long term relationships. This means that you’ve lost your partner in crime who will pull you back to reality on nights out after too many mojitos. You are flying solo with no wing woman in your corner to guide you. It can be awkward talking to your friends about your dating exploits when their lives are on a very different path and can leave you feeling a little isolated. Advice? Confide in one close friend who you really trust with your dating tales and keep it between the two of you – their advice will be invaluable and more genuine if they feel like it is something just between the two of you.
Dating in your late 30s and early 40s is complexed. Shapewear becomes your best friend and there’s a whole text acronym sub culture you don’t understand, but on the plus side you don’t have to justify your stream of one night stands to your mother anymore.
Ultimately, don’t lose hope, when you fall in love as cheesy as this sounds it really is something very special and if it was so easy to come by, well all the sense of mystery around it would be gone and it would lose the magic.
Remember at the heart of it you are an amazing woman and anyone will be lucky to have you….just be patient, don’t settle for second best and keep on searching.
Whilst we may be a generation addicted to selfies and photos, it is safe to say that a well-written quality dating profile will help you stand out in the crowd and catch Mr or Miss Right. The thing is we’re just not very good at selling ourselves, it isn’t in our nature to ‘brag’ about our plus points but in reality this is exactly what you need to do in the world of online dating.
Even if you’re not a budding wordsmith, with a little thought and creativity you can create a knockout dating profile. Still need a guiding hand? Our top tips below will nudge you in the right direction.
Keep it short and sweet
Entice your date with just enough to peak their interest. Here are some good examples:
Sunday fun day 👍🏻 Sunday chill day 👎🏻
Snakes 😍 Moths 😱
Bike ✅ Car ⛔️
Pineapple on pizza > great combo (Perhaps we will be too?)
“She has funny toes.” – My best friend Clare
“Excellent gums. Definitely flosses regularly.” – Sara, my hygienist
“She’s cute, but she snores.” – My mother
“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness.” – My ex (actually it was Captain Jack Sparrow in At World’s End but I’m sure my ex would agree)
Kids in your photos
Always a risky one as parents tend to keep their kids off the internet. However, if you are a single parent most of your pictures will contain your kids so a quick disclaimer about who that kid in your photo belongs to are appreciated, but not necessary.
Funny is good. Witty is better.
Unless you’re a natural comedian it will pay dividends to spend some time researching other profiles and taking inspiration from them. Be original and please don’t copy and paste from other profiles.
Must we really say it? Online dating is not the platform to promote your views on your views on mindfulness or inner peace, so please stay clear of inspirational quotes (unless you can turn them into something funny or use it as a topic of why you think it stinks).
I’m this tall…
Gents, refrain from adding your height to your dating bio. Whilst there may be shallow girls out there that open with this question, most of us are better than that!
Lads, contrary to what many of you (90%) may believe, posting shirtless pics can mean on average 25% fewer matches. More than half of the women who’ve been asked said that posting shirtless pics implies a lack of maturity and self-awareness.
Regardless of whether you’re a young professional or one of the many over 40’s daters, making the right first impression is key and a good dating bio can be a great way to introduce yourself.
If you’re looking for a potential date what are the things you look for in a good profile? We’d love for you to share with us your profile ‘deal breakers’.
When you’ve been in the dating pool a while and/or you’ve reached a certain age it’s very likely you’ll date someone who’s had a failed marriage or long-term relationship. But that doesn’t mean that person won’t be a great partner. There are, however, some warning signs to look out for when dating a divorced man.
Separated, not divorced
The first red flag is whether he describes himself as separated rather than divorced. Many women get sucked into a relationship (rebound anyone?) with a separated man, only to find out that he’s still married and actually working on his relationship or that he’s going to remain married, but still separated for the foreseeable future and he never has any plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, translate that into, ‘I’m not available for anything serious’.
Going too fast
The second warning sign is how fast he jumps into a very serious relationship. Oftentimes divorced men are only comfortable with relationships that become very serious, very quickly. They are putt off by the dating process of getting to know the other person and it’s important you slow things down. Even if he is keen to spend a lot of time with you or goes as far as suggesting moving in together, slowing down will give you both time to really get to know each other and see if you are actually compatible in the long run.
Having a negative attitude towards love or being emotionally unavailable is also a red flag. Granted, going through a divorce is one of the most traumatic things a person has to deal with, and it can leave that person bitter and closed off to love. So, if he’s still in a place where he can’t see himself to ever get married again – believe him. He’s not yet moved on and is still reeling from that experience. Let him go, he’s not ready.
Red flag number four is whether he’s depressed or has low self-esteem. As we said earlier divorce is traumatic and it can really take a toll on a person’s mental state and destroy their self-esteem. Divorce has the potential to make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if you’ve been cheated on. But remember, it’s not your job to fix him, it’s not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He will need to find that path on his own. Please avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate him when you could be keeping your options open to other people.
Check the ex
If his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life that’s another warning sign you shouldn’t ignore. Now, we get it if he has children with her, they will need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a friendship. But if you’re finding that she’s still a constant part of his life, he’s texting her on a constant basis, always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. There’s still a possibility he might want to win her back.
Kids but no kids
Speaking of children. How’s his relationship with his kids? If he has zero custody of his children doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s a major problem. Nonetheless, it’s a red flag. Typically, the relationship that someone has with their children is very coherent with the relationship they’ll have with other people in their life, but divorces are complicated and messy, so you really want to find out what actually went to get a clearer picture of him.
Now those are the biggest red flags we really want you to be looking for when you’re dating a divorced man, and if you don’t see any of those red flags, then great, go for it! Just because a man was divorced doesn’t mean he’s damaged goods. On the contrary, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and be at a point in his life where he has more clarity about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.
Ready to find your next date? Check out our divorced singles pond and start chatting to other divorced singles today.
The world’s population is getting older year on year. The UK now has an average life expectancy of 81 years, meaning that finding love is no longer limited to people in their 20s, 30s and 40s. More and more mature singles find themselves diving into the dating pool and often for the first time in a long time. That can be a daunting experience. But don’t worry, we’re here to help you navigate your new and fun dating journey.
Here are our top tips to finding love again in your later years:
- Try something new
Think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Think again! Not only is taking up a new hobby good for your brain and mental health, it’s also an excellent way to make new friends and meet likeminded singles. We’re certain there’s always been something you’ve been wanting to try out – choir singing, a cooking class or perhaps learning to tango? The possibilities are endless.
- Get moving
Physical exercise is a great way to improve many aspects of your life – mood, energy and self-esteem! Whether it’s dancing, walking, yoga or swimming, all are set to keep you young and in great shape. There are literally hundreds of clubs and classes looking to welcome you. Why not try something new every week to get you started until you find ‘The One’ you really like?
- Go shopping
Stuck in a rut when it comes to fashion? Now’s the time to ditch the old look and go for something new and fresh! One of the best ways to explore new looks is to get some help from a personal stylist. Many department stores now offer this service and it’s not as expensive as you think. Go on! Invest in yourself – you are worth it.
- Try online dating
If you haven’t tried online dating yet, you are missing out. The beauty of dating apps is that you get to speak to a lot of singles before you meet them. There are many dating sites now catering for mature singles looking to connect and find love – like our Silver Pond.
- Book that trip
It’s time to go on an adventure! Many travel companies now offer solo travellers the opportunity to join likeminded people on a group holiday. Not only will you see amazing new sights, but you’re bound to make new friends and maybe even have a little holiday romance. There’s no excuse not to go on that trip you’ve always dreamt about doing. Which brings us to…
- Be open to possibilities
In other words – start saying yes. Key to meeting new people and finding love is breaking out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be open to new opportunities. Much like trying something new – it can feel a little scary at first – but soon you’ll realise that trying new things is fun. It’s time to embrace the possibilities again.
If you’re single and interested in meeting like-minded people, join the Silver Pond over at Plentymorefish.com.
So here you are again, back with the ex. Up and down you go… rehashing the same problems, breaking up time and again, only to get back together shortly after.
If your relationship feels more like the rinse and repeat cycle of your washing machine rather than the healthy, grownup partnership it should be, it’s time to break that rollercoaster cycle once and for all.
Don’t worry – you’re not alone or weird for having such a complicated relationship. Many people find themselves in an on-again/off-again relationship at some point in their lives. The first step to finding answers is becoming aware that it’s not all that great. Realising the relationship is actually making you pretty miserable is key to seeing the behavioural patterns that are keeping you stuck. If you can’t see the patterns, ask a trusted friend whom you can trust to be honest with you. Identify them and you can start to tackle them.
Many couples who find themselves in this type of yo-yo relationship often fail to realise the reasons why they broke up in the first place. They keep coming back to the same issues and simply don’t communicate effectively to resolve them. Instead they keep repeating the same behaviour and see breaking up as a solution rather than part of the toxic cycle. You may not agree on all points but try working towards a mutually beneficial compromise. Effectively communicating your needs as well as listening to your partner are key elements of a healthy, mature relationship.
Another reason why some relationships are stuck on repeat is because they are lacking a sense of closure. For it to be really over, you need a clean break. At least for a while to get the emotional distance to break the cycle and to redefine yourself outside of that relationship. Keeping in contact with your ex is in many cases the real reason why you can’t call it quits.
Don’t underestimate the power of physical attraction. Some couples have really strong chemistry but in reality, are totally incompatible on every other level triggering them to keep coming back for more. This type of relationship can be really addictive and difficult to break because it feels so good when it’s on. Next time this happens – ask a friend to remind you of the many times they had to pick you off the floor after the breakup and ask yourself if it’s worth repeating?
They break up with you.
Their new relationship doesn’t work out.
They’re back with you.
If an ex keeps you as a safety net in between other relationships, it’s often because they are afraid of being alone or simply because it’s convenient. Either way, you are not important enough to them to truly care about how this affects you. Release yourself from this nightmare and send them packing.
Thanks to Hollywood many of us have a warped expectation of romance and relationships. He kisses you in the rain and they lived happily ever after. In reality though, mature relationships take work and commitment – from both parties. If they always fall short on promises or fail to change hurtful behaviour, it’s time to get real. Why would they change this time when they didn’t the previous 25 times? Ask yourself if you truly believe that will change. If there’s any doubt, perhaps it’s time to put an end to this misery.
There are tons of people who want the same so get out there! Everyone deserves to be happy and feel loved.
Still looking for love? Register for free on Plentymorefish.com and start chatting to singles in your area today.
The internet is a funny beast – every day there’s a hashtag trend. When it comes to dating there seems to be a never-ending supply of new terms to describe someone’s behaviour or situation. So if you can’t tell your IRL’s from your DTR’s – fear not. We’ve compiled 15 online dating terms you may need to help you navigate dating life in cyberspace.
Remember back in school when you were last to be picked at rounders? This is similar – only you won’t know if someone is benching you. Benching is when you keep contacting a match just enough to keep them engaged whilst having other options open at the same time.
Much like the little mouse that’s led along a breadcrumb trail – if you are receiving messages from someone but it never seems to go anywhere, it’s likely the other person is breadcrumbing you.
Catfishing happens when someone pretends to be someone looking for love but is in actual fact a scammer trying to get you to send them money. They will befriend you, promise you the world and once you trust them, they will ask for funds usually to escape some hardship or for an emergency playing on your empathy.
Catch & Release
Originating from the angling and fishing world, catch and release in dating terms basically means a one-night stand that you have no intentions of following up on.
‘Cuffing Season’ describes a metaphorical handcuffing to someone for the more depressing winter months just so you don’t have to be alone during that time.
Are we a couple or is it just casual? DTR stands for ‘Defining the Relationship’ and marks the time for both parties (willingly or not) to define the relationship status and get clarity on where you are heading.
‘Fielding Season’ happens before cuffing season when it’s time to evaluate your cuffing contenders for the dark winter months ahead.
Pretty much anyone who has ever been dating has experienced this phenomenon. You are seeing this person; everything seems to be going well, when all of a sudden, they go ‘poof’ and vanish. Usually without any explanation, often leaving a ghosted person reeling since they’ve not been given any closure.
Like ghosting, being haunted (otherwise referred to as orbiting or zombie-ing) means your ghost of a date suddenly materialises back into your life – usually by haunting your social posts, letting you know they are still there, still watching. Time to call the Ghostbusters!
An incel (involuntarily celibate) is someone who would like to have sex but for some reason isn’t getting any. Unlike a volcel, meaning voluntarily celibate being someone who chooses to abstain from having sex.
IRL meaning ‘In real life’ refers to the act of meeting your date in person.
Kittenfishing or ‘Catfishing – The Trial Version’ refers to a form of deception without criminal intent. A person who is kittenfishing uses white lies to portray an improved but inaccurate version of themselves in an effort to be more appealing to potential matches. Examples include using photoshopped profile images or fibbing about the things they enjoy doing, their job etc.
If you have ever met up with someone for the first time and then received tons of messages proclaiming their affection or love for you, you’ve been love bombed. This tactic is used as a means to an end (sex, money etc) and once the individual got what they wanted, tend to move on from you quite quickly. Sometimes those types of individuals can turn unpleasant or abusive if rejected.
Formerly known as a ‘player’, a roach is a person who is dating several people at once without being upfront about it. When confronted they often claim they never agreed to or didn’t realise you were being exclusive.
Remember haunting? This is similar but more manipulative. It refers to someone who ghosted you only 3 months ago and is now back in your life pretending like it never happened. Do yourself a favour and let that sub run aground.
Now that you are an expert at dating lingo go forth and find love. Preferably over on Plentymorefish.com of course. 😉
Zoom is a video app that has gained massive popularity during the Covid-19 Lockdown. Anyone can get Zoom for free and it’s available to use on your Phone & Tablet plus Desktop & Laptop providing you have a webcam attached which makes it absolutely ideal for a Video Date.
The main benefit of using Zoom for video dating over other video apps is that you don’t have to give out any personal information at all. No emails, no mobile numbers, no Facebook info, nothing. You set up the video date and then invite others to join you.
So how do you use Zoom for video dating?
Firstly you need to sign up for a free account, you can do this via their website https://zoom.us or by downloading the Zoom app for you mobile device from the Apple App Store or Google Play for Android.
Video dating is not for everyone that’s why it’s always advisable to let someone know that you are up for video dating as they may not be. In reality you will already be chatting via Plentymorefish and be ready to ‘Video Meet’ to take the next step.
NB: Do not send video invites as an introduction! Don’t let your very first message be “Hey, join me for a video date” as the recipient will most likely just ignore you.
Once you’ve established that your date is willing to chat on video it’s time to set a time for your video date. Hit ‘Schedule
- Set the topic as something like “Hey, Wendy would you like to join me for a video date?” providing it’s Wendy you’re inviting obviously!
- Select a time and duration. We’d suggest an hour at most
- Set meeting ID to generate automatically
- Set the host & participants video to ‘ON’
- Set Audio to Telephone & Computer Audio
- Set calendar to other calendars
Starting May 9, 2020, all meetings for Free or Basic accounts, including previously scheduled meetings, new meetings, and meetings started or scheduled using Personal Meeting IDs will require a password. If your participants join by clicking a meeting link with a password embedded, there will be no change to their joining experience. For participants who join by manually entering a Meeting ID, they will need to enter a password to access the meeting, including participants who join via telephone.
Don’t worry about advanced options. They will be set to ‘Allow waiting room’ and ‘Allow join before host’ this means that if your date gets there before that’s OK. They will be placed in a virtual waiting room and you will see on your display, as the host, that you then have to click ‘Accept’ to allow them into your video date.
Once your Video Date is scheduled it will appear in your meeting diary in the app as above and by clicking on the three dots you will have the option to copy the invitation and paste that into your chat with the person you want to video date.
After you have pasted the invite into your chat it’s probably best to delete everything in the very business-like invite except the URL and write a much more personalised message.
It will start life like this:
Tom Single is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Hey, Wendy would you like to join me for a video date?
Time: May 1, 2020 20:00 PM London
Join Zoom Meeting
You could turn it into something like:
Hi it’s Tom, I’ve arranged a Video Date for us via Zoom at 8pm tonight as discussed.
Look forward to video meeting you, click this link to join the meeting:
See you later x
Your prospective date will not have to download and install Zoom to join your meeting; however it makes it so much easier if they do. They can do this in advance and this is an ideal opportunity to offer some assistance if they need it.
Once it’s all arranged you both simply join the meeting at the arranged time.
For more detail on how you can use ZOOM visit their quick start section click here.
See our blog on Tips for Video Dating to learn more.
Lockdown in the UK has been extended for a minimum of three more weeks and the likeliness of getting out to see your hot match before the end of April is looking slimmer by the day. Whether your naughty relationship is on firm ground or you’ve been just keeping things casual before lockdown, being separated from your match can be tough. It can really take its toll on any relationship – casual, romantic, old and new. Here at the Naughty Pond, we’ve put together some helpful tips to help you save your naughty relationship during lockdown!
Use your space
This might sound silly in the middle of a pandemic when all you have is space away from each other, but space is important. If you are all over each other too much you can start to feel suffocated. Space is good, space is healthy and as the old saying goes, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
This is especially important when considering your own state of mind. If you are feeling a wave of negativity, hopelessness and anger coming towards you like a tsunami, take yourself away, let your hot match know that you need some time and make sure they don’t get washed away in your distress.
No doubt your match will be having similar episodes that will leave them feeling lost, scared and panicked.
Space during this time is key – for your own mind and for your naughty relationship!
Keep things exciting
If, like many of the readers of this blog, you met your match in the Naughty Pond, you will know a thing or two about keeping things exciting. Excitement and anticipation are the foundations of your hot and sexy relationship! But with time and distance hanging between you like an uncrossable canyon, the excitement can wear off.
Why not set each other some exciting tasks that will get the heart pumping and the anticipation back?
Why not send your naughty match a sexy message during the day when you know they’ll be working and trying to concentrate? How about leaving them a suggestive voice note or voice message asking them to call you as soon as possible? You could even send a naughty picture to let them know what they’re missing!
Send each other gifts
Is there anything better, during this awful time, than opening your front door to see a gift on your doorstep? Be it a bunch of flowers, some washing up liquid or a naughty toy to keep you busy, gifts are the only thing getting us through!
So why not send your naughty match something that will make them smile – along with something that will make them moan!
Put together a sex bucket list
Sex is important in any relationship. But for a purely casual, hot relationship sex is a huge part of what makes you tick! So, why not spend some time during lockdown putting together a sex bucket list that is filled with fantasies and naughty ideas on what you’d like to do (and be done to you) when you’re free!
It can include stuff like:
- play dress up
- sex in public
- fun with food
- sex where you know you’ll get caught
- pillow fort in the living room sex
- tying each other up
and so much more…
If you want to find someone sexy to have no strings attached flirting and fun with, why not join the Naughty Pond!
Everyone who’s ever been on a date has had a bad one or two. You know those where your date shows up and looks nothing like their profile pic, is rude or makes bad jokes. Sadly, it’s all part of the dating game … how else would you recognise a good date, right? But if your dating life is nothing but a string of bad rom coms it may be time to assess your approach and here are some tips on how to avoid bad dates in future (once we’re all allowed back out again).
Get to know your dates beforehand
This may seem like a no brainer but spending a little more time getting to know your date online and by phone can reveal a lot of useful info about them beyond what they are sharing on their dating profile. Ask open-ended questions that match your interests to see if you are compatible like, “tell me about your last trip. What was your favourite part about it?”. It’s also important to consider whether your date can keep a conversation and whether they return texts or emails in a timely manner or call when they say they will. If you are struggling to connect offline, it’s unlikely you’ll hit it off IRL.
Request more photos
This needs to be approached carefully to avoid offending your date or coming across as a creepy psycho. It’s no good saying “I’m not feeling your profile pics, can you send a recent one?” It’s better to share a few of yourself and inspire them to reciprocate. Maybe start off by sharing a photo or two from your last BBQ with friends or a concert you went to and encourage them to share what fun things they’ve been up to recently and then see what comes back. Just don’t be too pushy, keep it playful like “walking by the river sounds fun. I’d love to see your smile. Feel free to send me a pic.”
Keep in mind that not everyone loves to take selfies or might be a little shy so don’t worry too much if you don’t get much back. If however, something feels off it’s always good to go with your gut.
Pick the right meeting spot
Make sure the place you chose for your first date is somewhere cosy and relaxed and it’s easy to have a conversation without shouting or try an activity like miniature golf which is fun and you can test working as a team. Picking the right venue can make turn awkward date into a fun one.
Ask good questions
You wouldn’t rock up at a job interview unprepared so why do that on a date? Taking some time to consider a few questions can be fun and helps to ease first date nerves – just don’t turn it into the Spanish Inquisition. Keep it natural, ask a follow-up question to keep a conversation flowing, for example, “What was it about XYZ you liked?” or “what was your favourite part?”.
Try to relax
Sometimes things happen – he turns up late or the restaurant you’ve picked is rubbish. The conversation doesn’t flow and you’re quite frankly bored. It’s easy to get hung up on the things that don’t work but try to relax and don’t set your expectations too high. Sometimes it’s easiest to just go with the flow. At worst case, you’ve got to go out and enjoyed a drink with someone new.
Ready to find a new date? Visit Plentymorefish.com and start chatting with other singles today.