Online Dating Safety Tips
Let’s talk about online dating and safety. Like most things in life, it involves some risks. For most of the time the risks are very small. We do our utmost for keep our members safe but we need our members to be aware and the things that they can do to keep things in check.
We’ve summarised a few simple rules, let’s review these:
Protect Your Privacy
Seems like an obvious one but it bears repeating. Keep your personal details private. Stay away from using your personal email or even work email which uses your real name. It’s safer to sign up for a free email account and giving yourself a funny email nickname like LordLoL. Okay, this one was a rubbish example, but you get the idea. Just have fun with it. Use online aliases wherever you can and only share your first name and the county you live in. Many dating sites let you chat with other members, thereby protecting your anonymity.
Online Chats/Social Media Sites
Online privacy doesn’t not stop with your email address. Check your social media profiles and make sure you understand the provider’s privacy settings and change these to keep things hidden from strangers. You would be surprised how many people still share all their details publicly and for anyone to see.
Sign Up with a reputable dating website
There are now lots dating websites out there and it’s important you choose the one that suits your needs and likes. We advise you to do your homework before signing up. Read their terms and conditions, understand their billing if it’s a chargeable service, talk with others who have used the site and check out the sites reputation via social media sites or search engines. Rule of thumb is a good provider has transparent business practices and is quick to resolve problems.
Easy does it
Meeting new people is exciting and fun and we are all for it. Keep it simple though when you start out and first get to know someone. Online dating gives you the chance to collect information about the other person before meeting them. However keep an eye out for potential warning signs like these:
- Gives inconsistent information about their appearance, age, relationship status or employment
- Doesn’t want to provide a photo / has no photo on profile
- Avoids talking on the phone once the relationship has developed further
- Makes demeaning or inappropriate remarks
The next step
If you have been communicating with someone online and you feel comfortable pursuing the relationship, the next logical step is to speak with them directly – either over the phone or via webchat. This will allow you to get to know the person further. Do you like the sound of their voice, do you find it easy to talk to them? Is there chemistry? Just remember to continue to keep your personal details private.
Being online often gives a false sense of familiarity and people start to trust others more quickly, resulting in faster moving courtships. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but if you are the type of person who likes to take things slower it can make you feel uncomfortable. Make it clear to the other person and set boundaries. If they continue to pressurise you, break it off. Always trust your instincts.
Meeting in Person
So, you have got this far and you are very excited to finally meet him/her in person. You’ll probably worry about what outfit to wear and the likes. But before you do that, consider the following:
- Do you feel comfortable with this person, or did they seem overly pushy to meet you in person?
- Do you believe they are who they say they are?
- Do you feel this could develop into a potential relationship? If not, what are your reasons for meeting this person?
If you aren’t ready to meet, then don’t. Chances are there’s a reason why you feel the way you do, so give yourself more time or call it off altogether.
Next, remember the following rules for your first date:
- Meet at a public place like a café or restaurant and make sure you are familiar with the area
- Make your own way there and back home as well. Pre-book a taxi if necessary.
- Tell a friend or family member where you are going, who you are going with and what time they ought to expect you back home.
- If it would make you feel more comfortable, why not ask a friend to sit at a nearby table to keep an eye on you?
- Take your mobile phone with you and make sure it’s fully charged.
- Never leave your food or drink unattended.
Your date has come to an end and when it’s time to leave, do so on your own. Graciously decline offers of sharing a cab or getting a lift home. Avoid going straight home if you can, instead you might drive via the shops or another public place first.
Dating is and should be fun, just remember in all matters of the heart keep your mind switched on as well.
Have fun and be safe!
Online dating to real-life meetings: Do’s and Don’ts
Taking the step from sending a few messages on a dating site to meeting up face-to-face is a huge jump. First dates are nerve-wracking, and you spend most of the time before it worrying about whether you’re going to make a fool of yourself or how the date itself is going to go. To take some worries off your hands, we’ve made a list of Do’s and Don’ts that you can use to guide you through that initial date and hopefully bag you a second!
Keep it casual
Ensuring you keep the date casual and not over the top or extremely romantic takes the pressure off you both. It allows you to freely choose a setting where you can both relax and solely get to know each other more to see if there’s a spark. Meeting up for a coffee or casual drinks is perfect.
Tell someone you’re going to meet a date
First rule in meeting an internet date, is to always share your location with someone you trust. It doesn’t mean you have to tell them the ins and outs of your date if you don’t want to. But simple details of where and when the date is happening is important for your safety. You could even set up this person as a scape goat if you’re not really feeling your date and want to get out of there.
Show up on time
There’s nothing worse than standing around waiting outside a venue for your date – who you’ve never met before – to arrive. Your mind starts thinking they’re not going to turn up and you convince yourself that this wasn’t a good idea. Being fashionably late can wait, you need to show that you respect your date and their time.
Respect your boundaries
Setting boundaries makes many people feel uncomfortable, but they’re so important especially when first establishing a relationship with someone. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, then don’t. Whether that’s having another drink, going to their place after the date or even them being too handsy.
Drink too much alcohol
When you’re nervous you may feel like grabbing a drink – or two – for some Dutch courage. But it’s important not get too blotted. It’s not a nice experience when your date gets totally drunk and you wouldn’t want them to remember you for all the wrong reasons, so set a limit and stick to it.
Have high expectations
When going out on a date your lofty expectations need to stay at home with your Pinterest boards. Ultimately, high expectations tend to lead to some degree of disappointment so check in with yourself before a date. Whilst standard expectations like practicing good hygiene are normal, it’s best to focus on getting to know them. It’s perfectly fine if you realise they’re not the one, but it doesn’t mean you have to miss out on what could be a great evening because they are blonde rather than brunette.
Bring up your ex
Most likely you and your date have been chatting for weeks over the phone and the chances are your ex hasn’t appeared in many conversations. That’s a good thing. Trust us when we say that, that conversation can wait a few weeks more. Leave the past in the past and focus on the present. The first date is not the time to talk heartbreak or disappointments, this is the time to focus on possibilities!
Go over the date 100 times in your head afterwards
It’s easy to run over the date and what was said afterwards, but try not to get too caught up in it. Thinking can easily turn into over-analysing and before you know it you’ve convinced yourself that your date had an awful time, and they don’t really like you and your second date is never going to happen. Trust how things felt at the time and go with that feeling and if you don’t hear from them again, then what have you really lost? Not a lot. It wasn’t meant to be and that’s okay.
Are you looking for a fellow single to find a spark with? Head over to Plentymorefish.
I have scoured various other dating sites and feel that there is not enough quality information out there about keeping safe online. Therefore, I have decided to write this entry to give you greater insight on what to look out for. Before I go on i would like to make the point that remaining safe online is just as important as remaining safe offline. No more or no less. I found this article that sums my point up pretty well 🙂
Ok let’s get down to the nitty gritty…
Firstly, I will begin by stating the obvious. Be aware that anything you put on your actual profile is visible to all members. You should never make your address, phone number or email address public information. For our members, our on-the-ball moderators would remove information like this for your safety before your profile is actually published. Also never ever give out your financial information. Again, our moderators remove this in a flash before publication for your safety.
Now I have got these out of the way I want to tell you about scammers. I’m not going to hold back…scammers are proper nasty little critters that will try everything in their power to con you out of money, mostly found on the free online dating sites due to the lack of moderation that goes on there. They are pretty easy to spot as they will usually declare their undying love for you after only a couple of weeks and then try and persuade you to send over money for their “flight” to come and see you or for their “sick relative” or for some other fabricated financial difficulty they are experiencing. Luckily, PlentyMoreFish members receive high protection from these nasties. We have a strong filtering process which is carried out by manually checking each and every profile. Also, with subscription sites like us, the credit card name must match the members name creating yet further protection for our members. 🙂
Personally, I feel that greater awareness of possible scams is needed amongst members to ensure greater safety online. We feel that greater knowledge will mean as members, you will be vigilant enough to spot a scammer a mile off. As the article I linked you to earlier suggests, lying online is just the same as lying in a bar. The only difference is, a different platform is being used. As long as you are as safe online as you are when your in a bar you will have a great, fun safe experience when dating online!
First Date Dilemma
Your first date with that delicious single you met on Plenty More Fish is here. You’ve been chatting to each other for a few weeks now and you are really excited to meet in person. Only now that she/he is standing in front of you, you feel a bit disappointed. Bummer.
But what happened?
It’s okay and nothing to worry about. You may suffer from a mild case of Imaginitis Idealicus. It’s not contagious, but it can cause unrealistic expectations of your date, which could lead to disappointment. You see, when we like someone our hopeful brains can take over and create idealistic images of Mr/Miss Right. So, how do you manage this condition?
Do like the cucumber and be cool. Give yourself permission to keep an open mind and look past those assumptions of yours. Give your date and yourself a chance to get to know each other. Enjoy your date and try to get to know the other person. But be warned! You could end up actually liking him/her. Terrible, right? ;o)
On a serious note, we don’t want you to throw your common sense overboard. If you are not sure about someone or if they quite obviously lied to you, we advise you to cut your date short. Listen to your gut and check out the ‘Meeting in Person’ section of our Online Dating Safety Tips. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
But coming back to your date….it’s okay if they don’t turn out to be that perfect catch. There’s always Plenty More Fish in the sea!
Tell us, have you ever met someone who was not what you expected? What did you do?
Too busy to date?
The UK has the longest working hours in Europe with a culture of coming to work early and staying late. Although this is not something you can change without moving countries, you can alter the way you manage your time. Fortunately, online dating sites like Plenty More Fish can help busy people get back onto the dating scene.
Online you could be chatting to 12 singles in a week, in real life however, meeting 12 people would be more difficult. Internet dating is a great way to help people with limited time on their hands open their eyes to the huge amount of errr…..plenty more fish out there!
So, what are you waiting for? You too could be meeting lots of lovely singles in your area. Registration on Plenty More Fish is free and only takes a couple of minutes.
Does your career get in the way of your love life?
Do you feel that there are simply not enough hours in the day for dating? Unfortunately you’re not alone. According to a study by the Institution of Occupational Safety and Health (IOSH), one in three love lives in the UK are affected by work life pressure. People are working harder than ever however their relationships outside the workplace are suffering. At PlentyMoreFish we think this SUCKS…a lot.
The UK has the longest working hours in Europe with a culture of coming to work early and staying late. Although this is not something you can change without moving countries, you can alter the way you manage your time. It is always possible to make time for people around you if you really want to- you just need to find a good balance that works for you and stick to it. Without figuring this healthy balance out you run the risk of of feeling like you’re constantly working.
Fortunately, online dating sites like plentymorefish.com can help busy people get back onto the dating scene. Online dating is a great way to help people with limited time on their hands open their eyes to errrm…..plenty more fish!
Have you ever felt like your career was getting in the way of your love life? We love hearing your feedback.
Welcome to our blog. Let’s get straight to the point…
What we do.
We do online dating! We realise that online dating can have a bit of a bad rap so we strive to provide users with an enjoyable but safe experience when dating online. In fact we think that our platform is one of the safest out there as we employ industry leading safety standards, staff and software to keep it that way!
We split our members into ponds so that it’s easy to find other members just like you. We’ve got a Single Pond, Silver Pond (For the over 40’s), Naughty Pond, Single Parent Pond, Cuddly Pond, Christian Pond and a Divorced Pond
One thing we don’t do.
We will never claim to match you with your soulmate. We believe that this is something that can only be established through the offline interaction. Instead, we wish to provide you with a fun and relaxed approach to online dating and if you find what you are looking for on our site then that’s great news!
Drop us a line…
Our little team at PlentyMoreFish absolutely love hearing from you, good or bad so we can tailor our services around you to make your experience a better one. If you have found success on the site please don’t hestitate to shout about it! We love hearing from our members so feel free to drop us a line on Facebook or Twitter or e-mail our friendly marketing team.
Thanks for checking us out!
Plentymore LLP is a business established to provide online services under the Plentymore brand by partnering and collaborating closely with a white label service provider as a platinum partner.
The First Date…
We receive so many questions from our members on where to go, how to be and what to say on a first date therefore I have decided to answer as many questions as I possibly can through this post. After reading, if there is anything I have left unanswered please let me know and I’ll try my very best to get back to you.
I don’t believe in giving you instructions on what to do or what to say on a date. If someone were to follow strict instructions they would appear almost robotic and quite frankly no one wants to be dating R2-D2…well apart from a freaky Star Wars fanatic perhaps?! Instead, I am going to give you some guidelines…mainly to deal with those pre-date nerves. I hope it helps!
Ok, you have arranged to meet someone in “real life”.
Before meeting, do you think it is OK to communicate via E-mail only?
So far you have only communicated via E-mail and E-mail is only one dimensional. You are reading out carefully chosen words. Before meeting I would highly recommend having a phone conversation as you have no time to think on the phone and the conversation will be based on instant reactions. Speaking on the phone is a good safety measure anyway and will allow you to make a more informed decision as to whether you definitely want to meet the person.
What if he/she is completely different to what I imagined?
It is important to keep things in perspective. When meeting someone online, offline it is important to keep an open mind. When you meet face-to-face the communication and chemistry may be quite different. My advice to you would be just start afresh and go with the flow.
How can I calm my nerves before my date?
Don’t panic. It is perfectly normal to be extremely nervous about a first date. Many of us will worry so much about what the other person may think about us, we will completely forget about what we think of them! Just try and remember that they will be feeling as nervous and anxious as you.
Are there any safety precautions that I should take?
You should always let someone know where you are and until you feel that you know the person well enough you should use your own transport. I would recommend meeting in a public place, probably a coffee shop or something, quiet enough to hear each other speak!
How should we end the date?
End the date by telling them you had a good time and let them know that you enjoyed yourself (if you did!!). If you feel that the date didn’t go too well, let them know that it was nice to meet them and thank them for the date. They should get the message that a second date is probably not on the cards.
I hope this answers your questions 🙂 If you would like to ask me anything else then please feel free to leave a comment…
Happy Fishin’ !