When your partner has a sexual fetish

A fetish is a sexual attraction to an object or material, whether that’s the thought of using it on somebody else or just the object itself. There are plenty of fabulous fetishes out there, and it’s likely you’ve bumped into a few people who had a fetish or two. Thanks to the internet and more a more progressive dating culture, fetishes are more widely discussed and shared. For some who have a fetish the worry whether or not to reveal their desires remains though. Many still fear that the person without the fetish, may not understand or reject them because of it.

So, what do you do if someone tells you they have a fetish?

If a person with a fetish tells you about their fetish, it’s important to remember that they’re quite clearly comfortable enough with you to be open and honest about their personal sexual attractions, which is amazing. So before making a run for it, talk to your date about the fetish itself. Giving them the opportunity to share its significance, the role it place in expressing their sexuality and satisfaction, can turn what may be weird at first into something deeply intimate. Sometimes, we hear fetish and panic thinking that they’re all extreme and it can make you feel uncomfortable when it’s no reason to.

If, after you’ve had the conversation, you’re still not keen on the idea or the fetish is a dealbreaker for you, then it may be time to part ways. As harsh as it sounds, ultimately, you are doing both of you a favour since both of you desire something the other one can’t give, so it’s better to call it quits instead of trying to supress who you are and the needs you have

If are ready to give it a try and you want to incorporate it into the bedroom make sure you’re both ready to do so. Just because someone has opened up to you about their sexual attractions, it may not mean they want to try it straight away. They may still be nervous that it will push you away. Some fetishes may not be so straight forward, so go slow. Afterwards, make sure you talk to your partner about how they felt during sex, whether they enjoyed it or not and whether they’d be open to trying it again.

Not liking your partners fetishes is completely normal, not everyone likes to experiment in the bedroom and particularly when it’s something they may not completely understand. Some relationships carry on completely normal, but if your partner proceeds to make you feel uncomfortable about having a fetish or vice versa, then it might be worth looking at the value of your relationship. There is a difference between not liking something and demeaning someone for having those fetishes.

Are you looking to explore more in the bedroom? Then head over to our Naughty Pond to find like-minded singles.