How to feel more ‘in the moment’ during sex

It’s not unusual to hear that many people feel they aren’t entirely in the moment during their sexcapades. A study by Ferly (a sexual wellness app) found that 92% of women don’t feel present during sex meaning yes, it is a common experience and no, there’s nothing wrong with you. 

It’s no surprise that we all get so easily distracted during sex, we have things like phones that ping with every notification leaving you wondering who texted you or what meme your best friend tagged you in this time. Not only this, but we all have over-active minds consumed by work, relationships, family and what we’re going to eat for dinner tomorrow night. But thinking about something else can completely knock you off course for a pleasurable experience. What was meant to be a fun 30 minutes upstairs, can instead be taken over by our endless mind chatter. 

It’s not only our thoughts that can be our worst enemy in the bedroom, ideas of how we’re perceived by our partners can also be distracting. Do I look sexy enough? Am I shaven/not shaven enough for their liking? I’m sure you’ve found yourself wondering about something to do with your appearance at one point during sex. If so, you’ll know how distracting and insecure it can feel at times. 

Feeling more present during sex is so important to having a pleasurable experience, any distractions and you can most possibly count out the probability of having an orgasm unless you get your head back into the (bed)room. Next time try these quick tips: 

A digital detox

Hide your phone away from the bedroom, leave it downstairs on the sofa or put away on silent in your bedside table. This way you’ll find that when your phone buzzes you won’t even know, and you can worry about responding to the WhatsApp group chat after. The more you do this, the more you’ll allow yourself to fully be present during sex.

Focus on touch 

When you feel yourself getting distracted, bring yourself back to what you feel. Focusing on how YOU feel is so essential to derive pleasure from sex. If it helps close your eyes and just concentrate on the feeling. Then bring back all the senses individually, listening to what your partner is whispering in your ear, start talking dirty and you’ll find by this point any distractions have disappeared. 

Make eye contact

If you’re feeling that focusing on solely how you feel is not working, then try making eye contact with your partner. This can help to create a connection and to be honest, eye contact is pretty sexy as it is. 

Make requests. 

Asking for what you want during sex is a great way to keep your mind in the game. Don’t focus on what your partner isn’t doing, instead focus on what would make you feel better. If you look at it that way then you’ll find yourself searching more for the pleasurable feeling than the disappointing feeling, and by searching for a pleasurable feeling you’re less likely to get distracted. 

Sexy time can change and differ, sometimes you may find you are completely excited by them, and you lose track of time and other times you may just pray and think of England, praying for it to be over soon.

Above all try to have fun and you’ll soon feel yourself relaxing and enjoying the experience.

If you’re looking for fun, sexy singles to help warm up your bed then check out the Naughty Pond. It might just be your lucky day😉

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