Is your Mindset keeping you Single?

We’ve all been there, sat wondering why we’re finding ourselves on the search for our Mr/Mrs Right, once again. There’s only so many times we can convince ourselves that it’s our date who isn’t ready for the world of romance. If you still find yourself single and wonder why your dates never take the next step, then it might be time to start looking inward. Could you be in your own way to finding love? We’ve given you a head start with a few reasons why your mindset might be failing you.

You Have Low Self Esteem…

I’m sure you’ve heard it all before “love yourself before you love anyone else”.  If you lack appreciation for yourself and you don’t learn to love your flaws, looking for someone else’s love to fill the void is not a healthy position to be in. The feelings of not being good enough for other people can lead to issues like jealousy and neediness in relationships.

Next time you find yourself blaming your low self-esteem for your failed dating life, try writing a list of all your positives – the things you like about yourself – and then read them aloud. Make it a part of your daily routine to learn to love yourself, reminding yourself you deserve to have a healthy love life. You will find yourself in a much more positive mindset.

You Have High Expectations…

Now we’re not saying you should settle by any means. But when you start dating adjust your mindset so that your high expectations don’t come in between you and your date. Chivalry is a big green tick, and we all want it, but don’t get used to it. A few dates down when people start to get comfortable, bringing you flowers may become a thing of the past. But by showing appreciation for the things your partner does, it can work in your favour. Just saying ‘thank you’ can be a form of encouragement for many people who seek that gratification, it could be a win-win for both parties. You get the flowers, and they get the appreciation. Every now and again, surprise them. Try and plan a fun date to treat them. Show them that dating you isn’t a one-sided experience but that you can also be fun and romantic.

You Are Too Independent…

In this new generation, we are all force-fed the idea that we (particularly women) should all be self-sufficient and independent. However, true this may be, it can also hinder our dating experiences. Being too independent means, you become too engrossed in your own needs and happiness – and whilst this is important to do – it means you stop focusing on others.

The truth is, is that no matter how much you crave independence, we need other people. Forming a connection with someone is healthy, we can learn from others and they can love us and as a result we grow as individuals. So next time you’re thinking of not going out on that date because the thought of forming a connection gives you the shivers, listen to your heart and give it a go. It’s craving love.

You’re Coming on Too Strong…

Do you find yourself buckling at the knees to anyone who looks your way? You crave that attention a partner can give you and when someone gives you the slightest hint of that, you hold onto it too tightly. You’re coming on too strong. As we get older, a natural reaction is to panic that we’re running out of time in the world of dating. So, you settle for the person who buys you a drink at the bar, or calls you beautiful, even if your gut is telling you they’re not the one. The fears and doubts of never finding someone can manifest into desperation. In some cases, it convinces you to settle for way less than you deserve. To overcome this, we need to believe that someone better awaits us. That all these dates we go on with hopeless men/women are merely just setting us up for what is yet to come.

You Have Trust Issues…

Toxic situations from the past can leave a lasting mark on you. It tends to project past issues into the present, making you think you’re stuck in the same situation as before. Mistrust can manifest itself into jealousy and anxiety and most often, it can be the reason why making it past the dating stage is so difficult. For some, it can even grow into developing toxic controlling behaviours. Before you launch yourself back into the world of dating, it’s so important to address and deal with past baggage. Start by finding the root of the mistrust and ask yourself whether the associations you make between dating and trust, are actually facts or just an opinion you have formed based on past experiences.

Whatever you do, don’t lose hope or give up on finding love! Sometimes it takes a little longer to find the person that’s just right for you.

Find likeminded singles over on Plentymorefish.com.