Myths About Submission

Submission can easily be misconstrued with their representation of it through movies and books, but we’ve busted some myths to help you get a better understanding of what being a Submissive really means.

Submissives = Masochists 

Masochism is the act of receiving sexual gratification from pain. It is a misconception to associate submission with a desire for pain. In fact, the whole idea of submission is to gain pleasure from the act of submitting to your partner. Doms can also be masochists and demand their Subs to inflict pain, there are a whole world of combinations when it comes to Dom/Sub relations. But the main thing to take away is that pain and pleasure do not have to go hand in hand in order for you to be submissive.

They have No Responsibility

Responsibility in a Dominant/Submissive relationship is easily misunderstood. It can be seen that the responsibility is passed to the Dominant lover and that the Sub is longing to be looked after. Certain basic responsibilities which are important for both parties in the bedroom go unnoticed by outsiders. Every individual who partakes in submissive acts has a responsibility for their own actions and words. In relation to your dominant lover, these words and actions are important, they involve being open and honest about expressing your desires and how you handle them. Yes, the dominant may hold the most responsibility in terms of dealing directly with the control of their partner, they have to know their Subs better than anyone else. But the Sub is responsible for communicating their boundaries within the relationship. 

They shouldn’t have their own opinions 

If Subs want to be controlled, they shouldn’t be allowed to have opinions of their own, Right? Wrong. How are submissive partners supposed to have fun in the bedroom if they can’t share their opinions about what they enjoy? If they are supposed to be comfortable in the bedroom, then they need to be able to express what they like and what they don’t enjoy so much. Being submissive is all about being adaptable, so someone who is opinionated and strong-willed in their everyday life could well be a submissive behind closed doors. 

They are Weak Individuals

We touched on this a little bit in our “A Beginners Guide to BDSM” post. Being submissive in the bedroom does not reveal their personality to be the same outside of it. In fact, the most dominant individuals can in fact cave in for the desire to be submissive. To allow someone to take control of the situation takes a lot more courage than people think. Think back to a time in your sex life where you felt shy or vulnerable lying there naked in front of someone else. Now, imagine doing that but allowing them to be the dominant partner, dishing out the commands and taking control. It takes more strength than you would believe, to feel comfortable and confident enough in your own skin and in the situation.

Submission is always Sexual 

Depending on the type of relationship you have with a Dom, depends on the different acts you may perform for them. But it is important to highlight that not all Dom/Sub relationships are sexual. There can be acts where, as a Sub, you don’t experience sexual pleasure and it may not turn you on, but it is still a submissive act and you do it because you want to please your Dom. Service submission is an act that is overlooked when looking at submission, this could be anything from organising their day-to-day business to being a domestic servant for them.

Remember that submission is all about adventure and pleasure, the more comfortable you are the more fulfilment you will feel in the bedroom. Establish your boundaries and affirm them with your lover. But most of all, just have fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself to match the ‘ideal’ of Dom/Sub.

So what are you waiting for? If submission intrigues you head over to the Naughty Pond, where we have adventurous horny singles ready to join you between the sheets.