Friends with Benefits – The Do’s and Don’ts for No-Strings Attached Relationships
Let’s be honest, a ‘friends with benefits’ deal is super fun, carefree and oh so sexy. All of the sex and none of the snooze. Sign me up!
As fun as FWB situationships are though, they can be just as tricky to navigate if there are no established ground rules. “But”, I hear you say, “what about the no-strings?”
Well my friend, I hate to burst your bubble but there’s not really a no-strings-deal. As with anything in life, love and horny hookups there are do’s and don’ts. Can you tell people you two are shagging or should you keep it to yourself? Can you bring a third person to the party or is it just you two? What if one of you wants to get more serious and start having a relationship i.e. catches feelings?
When lines start to get blurry your once fun and carefree relationship can quickly turn sour and no one wants that. So, don’t play fast and loose with peoples’ feelings and make sure you set some rules and boundaries right from the start to avoid heartbreak, drama and disappointments.
So, here’s what you should address if you want to keep it fun and light:
Be open and honest
Open communication is probably the most important factor in having a successful FWB relationship. Both of you need to be crystal clear about your intentions and expectations and you both need to be on board with them. It’s no use agreeing to something and hoping it will change later down the line or assuming that your friend will know what you meant when you described your relationship as casual. Clearly define what that means.
Is this REALLY for you?
On the subject of being honest…are you being honest with yourself? Have you considered if this is really for you? Can you handle the uncertainty that this type of relationship brings? Are you mature enough to separate sex and feelings? If the answer is no to any of the above, it’s advisable to stay clear and look for someone who wants the same things.
Protect Yourself
Think unwanted pregnancy. Think STDs. Whatever you do, please always practice safe sex – ALWAYS!!! Insist on condoms – no exceptions. It’s not worth the risk.
Check your expectations
A friends with benefits relationship is quite different from a romantic relationship. Don’t confuse the two and adjust your expectations – it’s boink and go. If you are looking for flowers, presents and deep conversations, you’re on the wrong path my friend.
Avoid doing things couples do
You know this is a temporary arrangement so don’t complicate matters by introducing them to your inner circle like family. Also, stay clear of couple-y behaviour like cuddling after sex, going shopping together and staying for breakfast if you want to keep it casual.
Don’t get jealous
Remember, this is casual and should come without strings so don’t turn into the green-eyed monster when they find someone else to hookup with. It’s not cheating and you’re both allowed to meet other people. If this wasn’t clear you haven’t set or discussed those crucial ground rules.
Above all, a no strings attached relationship is meant to be fun!
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