Are your habits keeping you from finding true love?

A new year dawns and with it good intentions of betterment. Favourites like giving up smoking or being more active, will often have been forgotten come February. But if you are single, there’s one which deserves closer attention – your outlook on love and the choices you habitually make. Especially if you are someone who finds themselves dating the same type of person, resulting in the same disappointing ending. Keep reading and find out if your beliefs and behaviours are the reasons which are keeping you from finding true love.

Do you keep a checklist?
One of the holdbacks in dating, is clinging to your idea of your perfect partner. We often have checklist, which include desired looks, height, background, ethnicity etc creating this idealised image in our mind. Whilst it’s amazing to have standards in terms of how someone is going to treat you, say you would like someone who is fun loving, honest, kind; it’s often these extreme standards which are keeping you from finding the right person. More often than not, they come in a completely different package, than the one you have come to expect. Open yourself up to new possibilities to increase your chances.

Are you engaged?
By that I don’t mean, promised your hand in marriage, but what I do mean is are you engaged in your life? Are you living it with zest and passion, are you engaged in your work, your friends, a social life? If your are a person who defines oneself by another person, you will need to find a way to break that habit. When you are an independent spirit living a vibrant life you become a shazillion times more attractive to a potential date. If your lack of self esteem is holding you back, read books or listen to audios on how to improve this or if you can afford it, get a lifestyle coach. Accept yourself for the amazing person you are and love won’t be far.

Do you compare?
We know it is hard to put past hurts aside and this can make it difficult for you to see each person as an individual. You may find yourself generalising and thinking things like “men are all lazy” or “all woman are high maintenance”. If you go into a new relationship with these expectations, let me tell you what’s going to happen, your subconscious mind will find a way to verify your beliefs. It’s a sneaky little trick by mother nature which was designed to keep us from harm. The trouble with this is, once we have made a bad experience, it can programme us in a way which holds a blueprint against every new love we find. So, listen inwardly and ask yourself. Do you find it hard to open up? If so, analyse why and work on letting go of it. Free yourself. The past does not equal the future.

We hope this post will help you find happiness and love in 2013. Please send us your thoughts, we’d love to hear from you.

The Plentymorefish Team wishes you a love-filled and happy 2013.

Maz x