Being Friends With The Ex

Break ups are hard- everyone knows this. When a relationship comes to an end it’s often incomprehensible to think that that’s it. It’s just so final. You go from spending so much time together, perhaps even living together to nothing. A world without them seems unimaginable. Rather than cutting all communication, remaining friends sometimes seems like an appealing option.

But can it ever work?

I think it depends on whether the split was mutual. If  you  don’t see each other in “that” way anymore then fine, remaining friends shouldn’t be too strenuous and will come reasonably easy. Perhaps you were only supposed to be friends in the first place?!

However, for most it’s not that easy. Usually one person will end up liking the other a little more which makes the  “friendship” very stressful indeed. The huge change in dynamic means that hanging out together will be entirely different. Lunch won’t end with a kiss and hand holding won’t be complimenting the afternoon walk any more, making things hard and often, quite upsetting. Often, the best way to move on is to make a clean break. As hard as this may sound, if one of you still has feelings for the other it’s the kindest thing for you to do for the other person or even for yourself.

I also think remaining friends with your ex will be likely to cause problems in the long-run. Put yourself in the position of a future partner; would you be OK with them meeting up for coffee or lunch with their ex? How would it make you feel? Would you run the risk of putting your future relationships in jeopardy just because you want to remain pals with your ex?

My opinion is – it’s better to look to the future and not live in the past. After all, there’s plenty more fish in the sea!

What are you’re thoughts? Are any of you still good friends with your exes? Or, has staying friends with an ex caused problems? 

Eagerly awaiting  your opinions…Jen x

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