How to let someone down gently

One of the biggest advantages of using an online dating site like is the ability to see a huge pool of singletons in your area all looking to date. You will probably find yourself in contact with more than one person and the time will come when you have to let someone down because of a better suited match.

This will be the least enjoyable part of your online dating experience. I know this because a friend of mine has just met someone she is really attracted and suited to and is finding it really hard to let two other genuine guys down. At first, I really struggled to advise her about what to do. Even if you’ve been on one single date with someone, it seems really hard to let them down “in a nice way.”

Anyway, together, we came up with what we thought to be the best way of letting someone down gently. We eventually decided that the amount of times you’ve met/ how well you know the person is key.

Just online contact

Mostly been messaging to-and-fro? Decide to they’re not for you? I think letting them know online is fine. I would suggest writing something along the lines of; “It was really nice speaking to you but I wanted to let you know that I have met someone I would like to take things further with”  and wish them well in their search.

After one date

If you have only been on one date and decide they’re not for you,  I think it’s important to text or call to tell them.  There’s no point wasting your time, or theirs. Some dating sites would recommend going on two dates before you decide but I really think that if the chemistry’s there, it will be evident on the first date. Something like; “I want to be honest with you…It was really nice meeting you and you seem really nice but I have met someone else. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

After more than one date

This is when it get’s particularly hard. You’ve met them twice, three times or perhaps even four. You definitely need to call them and explain the situation. Take a deep breath and pick up the phone. You may feel bad for a while but ask yourself; wouldn’t you prefer to know rather than being left in the lurch? It’s simply the polite thing to do and they’ll respect you for it.

Please don’t ghost someone deliberately – make sure you get in touch in person or call them! It will be much easier for them to move on when they know it’s over rather than being ignored ignored overnight. Remember, you wouldn’t want this to happen to you, so give others the same respect.

Do you have any bad examples of breakups you experienced you want to share? Sound off in the comments below. x

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One response to “How to let someone down gently”

  1. UK sugar daddies says :

    The best thing you can do is listen to your intuition and break as early in relationship as you can because, I don’t know you can let someone down gently after that.

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