Valentine’s? Shmalentine’s!
You see, I wouldn’t call myself romantically challenged by any definition; after all I cried watching Bambi, squeaked with glee when Ross and Rachel finally got together and drew love hearts for 3 weeks after reading Twilight. But when it comes to Valentine’s Day and its subsequent consumerism, I draw the line. I’m glad it’s over for another year. Please don’t think of me as a miserable old mooh but a bouquet on Valentine’s Day just feels like an obligation rather than the token of affection it is intended to be.
This won’t come as any surprise but statistically men are more than happy to go without a gift on Valentine’s Day, as opposed to women who may say they don’t want something, but secretly do. Do we really need grand and predictable gestures to assure ourselves that our Romeo or Juliet is still truly, madly, deeply?
Why is it that we need cards adorned with googly-eyed cupids and nougat filled choc hearts to make us feel loved? Don’t get me wrong I love chocolate/diamonds/flowers/insert-your-favourite as much as any other person but when I think of my other half I don’t think of cards etc. What I see in my mind’s eye, are the little idiosyncrasies that make him unique and which have me gushing….like the way he smiles when I wake him in the morning. His utterly contagious hyena laugh and how he pulls up his cute little chin when he’s concentrating. Like the way only one of his hugs can soothe me after a hectic day and how he can’t remember people’s names but every football score since the first caveman kicked a pebble. The way he chameleon-like propels his tongue out to moisten his fingers when he’s reading the newspaper and his amazing ability to talk to anyone about anything. The way he – even after 11 years – still thinks I’m gorgeous.
This is what makes him special to me and why I love him. 365 days of the year, for the next and the one after that. Now, if you’ll excuse me – I have got to go and eat that box of Thornton’s I gave him for Valentine’s.
Check out our new TV ad!
We’re all familiar with the romantic love story of Romeo and Juliet, but what happens when the modern day Juliet can’t find her perfect match? Well, she signs up to Plenty More Fish and tries out online dating of course. It’s true, just check out our new advert appearing on your television screen for the first time tonight! Can’t wait that long? Oh go on then, we’ll let you have a sneak peak.
We’d love to know what you think of our new Plenty More Fish ad, so please leave your comments in the box below. Enjoy!
10 Things NOT to Say on a First Date
If you’ve been away from the dating scene for some considerable time, you may have become a little rusty with some of the dating norms a.k.a “dating etiquette.” I think the biggest and best piece of advice I can offer is to be yourself and never ever pretend to be someone your not. This definitely applies to both off line and online dating.
Sometimes, it’s easy to say too much on a first date and TRUST me, I know all too much about verbal diarrhoea… it happens to the best of us 
Chatting a lot on a first date is by no means a bad thing – if anything, it’s good – but saying the wrong thing could mean the difference between the first and second date. Steer away from the following topics of conversation and you’ll be one step closer to date number two!
"Oops...I mentioned my ex"
1. Bad mouthing your ex
Refrain from talking about your ex.. any ex. It’s a huge turn off. Your date will want to know about you, not your ex. It’s not attractive, plus it can suggest that you’re not quite over them.
2. Dishing out blame
Not taking responsibility for your mistakes will cause alarm bells to ring straight away. A relationship is built on trust and if your date feels they can’t trust you, well, that’s the second date out of the window!
3. Living with parents
So you’re 30 and still living with your parents without good reason and show no sign of moving out. Dependence on your parents at this age is pretty unattractive to most. It’s not just about the living with your parents though. Relying on your mum for your cooking and cleaning is a huge, huge turn off. Independence is SO much more attractive!
4. Discussing financial problems
It’s neither the time nor the place to be discussing personal matters like this. It’s way too much information for a first date and can leave your date feeling awkward. Get to know your date first. They may be a bit freaked if you start discussing your credit card bills, not to mention – turned off.
5. Your wish to be married with kids ASAP
It doesn’t take a genius to work out that discussing your marriage and family plans on a first date isn’t the best idea. I don’t think I need to explain why..
6. “You’re too smart/ attractive/good for me”
Self confidence is incredibly attractive to the opposite sex. Your date is on a date with you because they like you. There’s absolutely nothing else to question.
7. “Can I take your picture?”
Don’t ask to take a photo on a first date. It comes across as needy, freaky and a little stalker-ish. . Some of you may wonder why I’m even mentioning this..? Well, it did actually happen to someone I know and all I can say is a second date definitely didn’t happen.
8. “Come back to mine?”
Unless you know for sure that your date feels the same – don’t ask. Your date could end up being offended.
9. “I love you”
Argh. These three little words should never be used on the first date for obvious reasons. It’s worrying for your date as you’ll come across as clingy/ psycho. Harsh but true!!!
10. You’re jobless with no intention of getting a job
Laziness is not attractive. Showing no intention of working is to most, extremely unattractive. No one wants to date a ‘bum’ do they?!
What makes a “real boyfriend?” Twitter tells all.
#arealboyfriend is currently top trend on Twitter and has been for sometime now. Yes, that’s right, “A Real Boyfriend”…instead of an imaginary one of course. Although *some* trends (including this one) can be a little immature, there were a few tweets which, I thought could be used to help define a good boyfriend. I’m going to replace the word “real” with “good” for the reason above!
Guys take note, here’s some top tips on how to be a real *ahem* good boyfriend.
- “
#arealboyfriend doesn’t cheat on his girlfriend. In fact, he doesn’t even get tempted to.” - “
#arealboyfriend is one of the most stupid top trends to exist” – ……..Probably due to the reason I mentioned above! - “
#arealboyfriend makes mistakes and learns from them.” - “
#arealboyfriend is someone you can trust.” - “
#arealboyfriend would pay his girlfriend compliments when she has made an effort to look nice.” - “there are a few about, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you get the prince.
#Arealboyfriend“ - “
#arealboyfriend makes time for his girlfriend.” - “
#arealboyfriend doesn’t try and make you jealous.”
- “
#arealboyfriend respects that you need time to spend with family and friends. It’s not just about him.
- “
#arealboyfriend Introduces you to his friends.”
Things women say or do that make men crazy!
After picking the brains of our Twitter followers and consulting the guys in the plenty more towers, we have come up with a collection of things women say or do that are likely to make the men folk crazy.
Oh and don’t worry ladies, “things men say/do that make women crazy!” will be up tomorrow. Well, it’s only fair!
Going back to bad boyfriends
He treated you bad, you moan about it and then you go back. Sorry ladies, guys DO have a point here.
Bringing up things said and/or done days/months/years ago
You get into an argument and the female of the species brings up that time you forgot to feed the cat 3 weeks ago. Ironically, you had totally forgotten all about that.
Late for everything
This seems to be a particular pet hate amongst the guys. The general consensus was; “Yes. We know you want to look nice but you should start getting ready earlier.”
“What are you thinking”/ “What’s up with you?”
The general vibe was; “Just because I’m quiet, it does not mean anything’s up. If I tell you I’m not thinking about anything, I’m actually not. Get over it.”
“Do you think she’s pretty?”
This conversation is never going to have a happy ending. Yes? No? We don’t know what the answer is… If we say yes will you be insulted? If we say no, will you accuse us of being a liar? We can’t win!
“My ex used to…”
Turns out, guys don’t like to be compared to your ex. Anyway, if your ex was so amazing then why aren’t you still with him? Hmm…
Pop back tomorrow for our next post: Things men say or do that make women crazy
Letters, cards and cuddly toys
Letters, cards and cuddly toys are just some of the mementos many of us hang on to when a relationship has ended. Cute bears that meant the world, letters written from the heart, your favourite song, even your partners t-shirt with that all too familiar smell…all too hard to throw out. But, keeping visible memories dotted around your house can be painful, so why do we do it?
I think it’s just a process that many of us need to go through. Many of the gifts are useless but after a relationship we may find ourselves clinging onto what little we have left as a reminder of them and the good times. It adds a form of comfort from the person…the person who caused us to feel this way in the first place. Weird, eh?
This is not the case for everyone though. Some people see chucking out all mementos as a first step towards getting over their ex. Relationships over and Freddy the teddy is lying in a bin bag with the potato peelings, ready to meet his fate. People just deal with it differently.
I find names and numbers the hardest to rid. A number you haven’t called for 3 years but still remains part of your history. A number once dialled often, now useless in function but simply too hard to delete.
So what about you? Are you a thrower or a hoarder? When in a new relationship, is it necessary for you to bin all gifts from your ex or can you keep some? It would be interesting to hear some views on this! 
Member of the week
Meet John!
John is 49 and tells us that he is looking for “love, companionship and friendship.” In his own words he would like to meet someone “sweet, baggage included [we all have that]. “
John believes in grabbing every opportunity and tells us he has loads to give. He’s also not one for “head games” which we like to hear and also believes in treating “all people with kindness and compassion.”
We think John sounds very nice indeed. What about you? Is John your type?
Why not send him a message today! Well, what are you waiting for?!
Are you ready to date again?
Losing a spouse, going through a divorce or break up can be a traumatic experience. For most people it takes time for the wounds to heal before even thinking about taking a dip in the dating pool again. Understandable really. Often jumping into a relationship too quickly can be a bad thing – you may meet someone who’s not right for you. As much as you may miss the companionship it’s worth having some you time to figure out exactly what it is that you want.
So how do you know when you’re ready to date again?
Are you “over” your past relationship?
This does not mean forget about your past relationship by any means – it just means that you have stopped comparing new interests to your previous partner.
Are you bitter?
Being bitter is a sign you’re not over your ex and can be sensed a mile off by prospective partners. It can send people running for the door. You should be free of bitterness before dating again- it only wears you down. It may take time but that healing time is hugely important.
Do you expect instant dating success?
Unfortunately dating is filled with ups and downs and not a dating site in the world could promise you instant success. Some meet the right one straight away, some don’t. It’s a numbers game. Don’t lose hope.
Are you feeling happy?
Happiness and positivity is an extremely attractive quality. It’s true what they say- you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. Use your single time to do the things that make you feel happy. Your future partner should fit into your life.
Are you revealing too much too soon?
Your date should not be used as a counsellor. If you feel you’re going to spill details of your past relationship on your first date then it is pretty evident that you need some more time before dating. Mystery is all part of the excitement of dating.
It may take some time before you feel ready to start dating again but in my experience it’s MUCH better to give yourself this time and meet someone who ticks all the boxes rather than just a few.
Jen
Member of the week
Meet Dave!
Our member of the week this week; Dave, 27.
David describes himself as being “mad on sport!” He enjoys playing hockey and plays for a team in London as well as coaching at his school. Just in case you haven’t already guessed…he’s a P.E teacher. David’s other hobbies include “listening to music and going to gigs, meeting up with mates for a drink and socialising with anybody.”
In his own words, he is “looking to start a new chapter and start travelling. Hit me up if you are keen!”
Are you keen? Send him a message today and who knows…he could be “mad on” you!
Well, what are you waiting for?
“The bad boys…are always catching my eye”
Ever wondered why you continue to fall for “bad boys” time and time again? Well you’re not alone…it seems to be a topic of discussion amongst many celebs; Alexandra Burke, Lady Ga Ga and Beyonce to name a few.
So what is it that leaves us falling for the “wrong type” of guy?
According to a team of boffins at the University of Columbia, us ladies are least attracted to smiling, happy men, instead preferring those who looked proud and powerful or just plain moody. Could explain our attraction to Edward Cullen then…?
However, I’m not so convinced. I can’t speak for all women but I find men MUCH more approachable/ attractive if their profile picture is of a nice friendly looking guy and I will never stop recommending smiling in your profile picture. I can’t really see how women could be attracted to miserable men…*
Is it just me? Am I the odd one? Help me out here!
Jen, PMF x
* OK, Edward Cullen is an exception
P.S. Here’s Alexandra Burke singing about her penchant for bad boys…
“Even though I know they’re no good for me it’s the risk I take for the chemistry.” ……. Alexandra, get yourself on Plenty More Fish. Plenty of happy, smiling guys. You don’t need to go taking these sorts of silly risks!!!
P.P.S. You can read the full article in The Telegraph by clicking here
