Long Distance Relationships: Could you?
As a member of Plenty More Fish, you have the option to meet new people from all over the UK and Ireland but would you message those who live a bit further afield? What’s the cut off point? More importantly, would you be prepared to commit to a long distance relationship for the foreseeable future?
I guess it’s all very much down to personal preference. Some people like to know their partner is always around and others prefer their own space. For the latter, long distance relationships are bound to be more successful. It also depends on what you want from the relationship. If you want something a little bit more laid back then the distance might even be a good thing!
There seems to pros and cons with a long distance relationship. One positive is that you’ll probably make a bigger deal of the time you have together and plan something great for the weekend but the negative may be that you can’t be as spontaneous as you’d like. Hmm…
We’ve had some great feedback from our followers on Twitter – so thanks! It seems most of you think long distance relationships have a higher chance of working now than ever before due to the numerous methods of communication such as Facebook, Twitter, Email, Text, Skype etc. Others think that if the cost of travel were cheaper, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. The general consensus was that you have to like the other person enough from the word go to make the extra effort associated with long distance relationships. Which, is sometimes difficult to figure out straight away.
What do you think? Have you/ would you give long distance relationships a go?
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This weeks catch – Samantha
Meet Samantha!
Say hi to Samantha, 24, our member of the week.
Samantha loves to keep fit, mainly through her passion for dancing – she works as a dance teacher and a Zumba trainer. She also “interested in fitness”, is a hip hop and contemporary dancer and visits the gym regularly in her spare time.
Another passion she has is travelling. In her own words she “can’t get enough of it.” Samantha is a “fun high energy person who likes to be out an about.”
Do you have lots in common with Samantha? Why not send her a message today?
5 Romantic Winter Dates
When dating, bars and cafés can be great venues but if you fancy something a little bit different, why not take advantage of the wintry season (if you can beat em’, join em’!) and really impress your date. So grab your coat…and your mittens and check out our favourite 5 romantic winter dates.
1. Outdoor Ice Rink
Oh *OOPS* you fell over. It doesn’t matter if you can’t ice skate, in fact it’s probably better. If they’re nice, your date will help you up. Excuse the pun but it’s a great way to break the ice between you both!
2. Christmas Market
Does your nearest town or city have a Christmas market? Put on your warm winter coat, browse the stalls and get into the Christmas spirit. This can make for a fun and cheap(ish) date. This of course depends on whether you can drag yourself away from the chocolate fountain and how many mulled wines you guzzle! Yup, I’m talking from experience!
3. Comedy night
Comedy nights are great in any season but if you fancy getting out of the cold we would recommend heading down to your local comedy club. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
4. Country pub
Preferably one with good hearty pub grub. Even better if you can sit next to an open fire. This will make for a very cosy date indeed.
5. Catch an Afternoon Movie
Get down to your local independent cinema and choose from a wide range of films from old classics to quirky feel good films. These places have a great atmosphere with a small cosy feel to them. Perfect.
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5 Tips for Dating Again after a Long Term Relationship
After a long term relationship dating again can be pretty nerve-racking for some. Getting back into the swing of things can be like entering a whole new world – an exciting world nevertheless. We have racked our brains here at Plenty More Fish and come up with 5 top tips to help you make a smooth return back into the dating game.
1. Keep some information back. How many details should you give away? The best way to decide this is by asking yourself how much you would like to know about your date. By all means, tell them you have just come out of a long term relationship but there’s really no need to rant about your past. Your date is there to get to know you and for now, this doesn’t include your past.
2. Be yourself. It’s so important to be yourself. Don’t try and change who you are just because you think you’ll meet more people. If they don’t like you for you then they are obviously not the right person for you. It’s also extremely hard to keep up an act and it’s much less stressful just being you!
3. Single Friend Advice. Ask your single friends for advice. If you have been away from dating for a while then you may be feeling a little rusty. Getting advice from your single friends and learning about their real- life experiences is a great way to feel more confident and prepare yourself for a date.
4. Don’t be too picky. After a relationship you may think you know what you want and sometimes this could even be a clone of your ex. If you’re looking for someone specific, you could risk missing what’s right in front of you. You may not think she or he is your type but how do you know without trying?
5. Do what feels right. The biggest and best tip we can offer would be do what feels right for you. If you feel pressured to start dating again but don’t feel ready too, then don’t. Do what feels comfortable. If you go on a date and there’s no spark, it’s no big deal, just chalk it down to experience. After all, there’s plenty more fish in the sea!
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Member of the week
Meet James!
James is 27 and tells us that he’s “an easy going and generous guy” and that he’s “looking for someone between 24-30 with a open mind who’s keen on travelling”.
He’s quite sporty and is “into swimming, cycling and country walks with the dog.” James is also “keen on starting kayaking and climbing” and is up for trying new things but tells us “it would be nice to share that with someone.”
Does James sound like your cup of tea? (we love tea!) Get in touch today by clicking this link.
How Important is Body Language?
When on a date, it’s not just about being aware of what you’re saying – body language plays a huge part too. In fact, it’s the biggest tell tale sign if you’re feeling uncomfortable. From eye contact to the way you sit can all play a major part as to how you come across on your date.
I came across this great infographic on body language with some really interesting facts which helps us to understand just how important body language actually is. E.g. Raise your eyebrows all you like in the US but unless you want to cause offence – refrain from doing so in Japan!
Have a look, some really interesting stuff. Let us know what you think!
Being Friends with the Ex Pt. 2
Last month I wrote a post on “Being Friends the Ex” where I decided that generally, staying friends with the ex wasn’t such a good idea. Well, staying friends with MY exes hasn’t always worked out for the best so I guess I am biased. Just because it didn’t work out too well for me, it doesn’t mean it can’t work well for others.
After writing the post, I have received lots of feedback from you ( and thank you!). It’s always really good to hear your views which, in this case were pretty different to my own. It seems many of you have remained great friends with exes so I thought I’d take the time to approach the topic from a different angle.
Let’s not kid ourselves, staying friends with an ex is not always easy. From your feedback it seems that the way to do it successfully is to be completely honest about your feelings for one another. If you still feel more for them then you need to decide whether this will affect your friendship. From your input it’s pretty clear that whatever happens, being “besties” straight away isn’t going to happen. Both of you will probably need time beforehand to come to terms with the split and deal with any unresolved feelings.
It seems many of you have managed to overcome this and remained friends. One reader made a really interesting point. He told me that after a long-term relationship and getting to know each other so well it’s a “shame to just throw it all away” and I would definitely have to agree with him. I think it’s so hard to just wave goodbye to the person you spent so much time with, knows you inside out and have so many memories with. It’s so final. If you can work things out after a split and have a stress free friendship for the both of you then, ideal. It’s just getting to this point that can be problematic. As one reader told me, staying friends “depends a lot on the circumstances of the split.” If someone cheats or treats the other badly then at some point in the future, the animosity may kick in ( if it hasn’t already) and just end up getting messy. However, if the split is amicable then friendship may come pretty naturally. One of our Twitter friends recently told me that she has remained great friends with her ex and that “he even baby sits my son which isn’t his and likewise me for his daughter!”
I think it can be tough but given time, if you really want it to work it is possible to salvage a friendship after a break-up providing both parties are honest and upfront with each other from the beginning.
Thoughts? Drop us a line below…
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Member of the week
Meet Louise
Louise is 33 and tells us that she’s “sick of the guys” that she’s met offline so she thought she’d give this a try!
She tells us that her “Friends andfamily are everything to me” and that she “loves to laugh, dance, sing and do the odd crazy thing.” Louise likes “going to pubs, restaurants, cinema and love going for walks” and describes herself “kind, considerate, polite, thoughtful.”
Do you think you’re who Louise is looking for? Send her a message today!
What are you waiting for?! Go to Louise’s Plenty More Fish profile today!
Great New Features on Plenty More Fish!
We have just introduced some great bolt-ons available for all our full members. These exciting new features allow you to become a dating VIP, find out whether your messages have been read, allow all members to reply to you and allow all members to contact you. Want more information? Then read on…
More ways to stay on top!
Search VIP
The VIP member is cool, smart, attractive and guaranteed to turn a few heads. They’re 75% more likely to attract attention than anyone else. Why? Because they stand out. How? Because they’re a VIP of course. By purchasing our Search VIP Bolt-on you can be highlighted in search results and wear the Search VIP crown on your profile to show you mean business. Get your Search VIP Bolt-on today!
Read Notification
The member who has the Read Notification is in control. They know who has or hasn’t read their messages. They know who their time is best spent on. After purchasing the Read Notification Bolt-on, you know that when the ‘eye’ icon turns bold, they’ve read your message. So while they await their reply, there’s time to focus on other things… like introducing yourself to more of your favourite members.
Contact for Free
This member is crafty like a fox, and what isn’t crafty about allowing absolutely all members the ability to message them? That’s right, our crafty fox has created a world in which any member, regardless of membership level, can get in touch. But how can you spot the crafty ones? Well, by simply looking for the ‘envelope’ icon on the top of their profile page, that’s how.
Reply for Free
Our Reply For Free member is a real go-getter! Confident in the knowledge that a well crafted private message can guarantee a response. So why not join them! By using this Bolt-on you’re more than increasing your chances of a reply. Remember, the more messages you send, the more replies you’ll get. So what’s stopping you? Go get!
Modern Etiquette
Back in March, I wrote a little blog on E-flirting etiquette which looked at the way technology had changed the way we flirt.
Through the introduction of mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and online dating sites such as Plenty More Fish, a lot of people may be unsure about some aspects of dating etiquette. No longer is it nerdy or desperate to ask someone out online or by text. In fact, it’s become quite the norm. Cast your mind back to the days before Facebook, sites like ours or even mobile phones; certain protocols applied to dating. Well, these manners still apply. For example, it’s polite to let the other person know whether another date is on the cards soon after the first date. In the past you may have communicated this straight after the first get together with little/ no contact in-between. Now, due to smartphones, it’s highly likely for this to be communicated soon after via text or social network. However just like before, it’s important not to leave the other person “hanging’ too long. A recent study suggested that the average wait time for a follow up text or call was 1.52 days. After this, the date loses interest. So a prompt response is still needed.
It’s important for modern and old school dating etiquettes to co-exist. Just because you’re sat behind a phone or computer screen, it doesn’t mean you should abandon some of the older rituals of courtship. For example; you wouldn’t open a conversation with a stranger in a bar by saying ”wanna chat?” so why do it online? Quite frankly, I think you’d be lucky to receive a “no” as a response. The best way to start a conversation online would be similar to how you’d be expected to introduce yourself offline. Something a little more personal is needed such as; ” Hi, I noticed you’re profile and it seems we have quite a lot in common [talk specifics here]. If you like what you see, get in touch. Looking forward to hearing from you.”
Chances are, when you’re using a dating site like Plenty More Fish you’ll probably end up chatting to more than one potential date. You may even be dating more than one person at a time. This is very different to traditional courtship and a lot of people struggle to get their head around it. A while back, a friend of mine was feeling really guilty about dating more than one person at the same time after meeting them online. I don’t really see a problem with keeping your options open before a relationship gets serious. There’s so many fish in the sea it’s important to be sure before making the decision to let the other dates down. I think this is the biggest difference with meeting people online vs. offline – there’s a much bigger pond full of potential partners.
Technological changes have made it easier for us to find dates. The devices and platforms we use to communicate with them has changed but the way we communicate and the etiquette we use really hasn’t. It’s nothing we haven’t done before, just a different way of doing it.
Jen 
