10 Things NOT to Say on a First Date
If you’ve been away from the dating scene for some considerable time, you may have become a little rusty with some of the dating norms a.k.a “dating etiquette.” I think the biggest and best piece of advice I can offer is to be yourself and never ever pretend to be someone your not. This definitely applies to both off line and online dating.
Sometimes, it’s easy to say too much on a first date and TRUST me, I know all too much about verbal diarrhoea… it happens to the best of us 
Chatting a lot on a first date is by no means a bad thing – if anything, it’s good – but saying the wrong thing could mean the difference between the first and second date. Steer away from the following topics of conversation and you’ll be one step closer to date number two!
"Oops...I mentioned my ex"
1. Bad mouthing your ex
Refrain from talking about your ex.. any ex. It’s a huge turn off. Your date will want to know about you, not your ex. It’s not attractive, plus it can suggest that you’re not quite over them.
2. Dishing out blame
Not taking responsibility for your mistakes will cause alarm bells to ring straight away. A relationship is built on trust and if your date feels they can’t trust you, well, that’s the second date out of the window!
3. Living with parents
So you’re 30 and still living with your parents without good reason and show no sign of moving out. Dependence on your parents at this age is pretty unattractive to most. It’s not just about the living with your parents though. Relying on your mum for your cooking and cleaning is a huge, huge turn off. Independence is SO much more attractive!
4. Discussing financial problems
It’s neither the time nor the place to be discussing personal matters like this. It’s way too much information for a first date and can leave your date feeling awkward. Get to know your date first. They may be a bit freaked if you start discussing your credit card bills, not to mention – turned off.
5. Your wish to be married with kids ASAP
It doesn’t take a genius to work out that discussing your marriage and family plans on a first date isn’t the best idea. I don’t think I need to explain why..
6. “You’re too smart/ attractive/good for me”
Self confidence is incredibly attractive to the opposite sex. Your date is on a date with you because they like you. There’s absolutely nothing else to question.
7. “Can I take your picture?”
Don’t ask to take a photo on a first date. It comes across as needy, freaky and a little stalker-ish. . Some of you may wonder why I’m even mentioning this..? Well, it did actually happen to someone I know and all I can say is a second date definitely didn’t happen.
8. “Come back to mine?”
Unless you know for sure that your date feels the same – don’t ask. Your date could end up being offended.
9. “I love you”
Argh. These three little words should never be used on the first date for obvious reasons. It’s worrying for your date as you’ll come across as clingy/ psycho. Harsh but true!!!
10. You’re jobless with no intention of getting a job
Laziness is not attractive. Showing no intention of working is to most, extremely unattractive. No one wants to date a ‘bum’ do they?!
Plenty More Fish on Your Phone
With our simple and straightforward mobile dating web app, you no longer have to wait for your computer to load up to check who’s winked or messaged you. You can now date completely on the move!
Give the Plenty More Fish mobile web app a try by simply typing www.plentymorefish.com into your mobile browser. Enjoy!
If you’re a member of any of the following sites, you can access Plenty More Fish on your mobile from the 21st of December:
Plenty More Fish UK, Plenty More Fish South Africa, Plenty More Fish Ireland, Plenty More Naughty Fish UK, Plenty More Naughty Fish South Africa, Plenty More Naughty Fish Ireland, Plenty More Silver Fish UK and Plenty More Silver Fish South Africa.
Long Distance Relationships: Could you?
As a member of Plenty More Fish, you have the option to meet new people from all over the UK and Ireland but would you message those who live a bit further afield? What’s the cut off point? More importantly, would you be prepared to commit to a long distance relationship for the foreseeable future?
I guess it’s all very much down to personal preference. Some people like to know their partner is always around and others prefer their own space. For the latter, long distance relationships are bound to be more successful. It also depends on what you want from the relationship. If you want something a little bit more laid back then the distance might even be a good thing!
There seems to pros and cons with a long distance relationship. One positive is that you’ll probably make a bigger deal of the time you have together and plan something great for the weekend but the negative may be that you can’t be as spontaneous as you’d like. Hmm…
We’ve had some great feedback from our followers on Twitter – so thanks! It seems most of you think long distance relationships have a higher chance of working now than ever before due to the numerous methods of communication such as Facebook, Twitter, Email, Text, Skype etc. Others think that if the cost of travel were cheaper, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. The general consensus was that you have to like the other person enough from the word go to make the extra effort associated with long distance relationships. Which, is sometimes difficult to figure out straight away.
What do you think? Have you/ would you give long distance relationships a go?
This weeks catch – Samantha
Meet Samantha!
Say hi to Samantha, 24, our member of the week.
Samantha loves to keep fit, mainly through her passion for dancing – she works as a dance teacher and a Zumba trainer. She also “interested in fitness”, is a hip hop and contemporary dancer and visits the gym regularly in her spare time.
Another passion she has is travelling. In her own words she “can’t get enough of it.” Samantha is a “fun high energy person who likes to be out an about.”
Do you have lots in common with Samantha? Why not send her a message today?
5 Romantic Winter Dates
When dating, bars and cafés can be great venues but if you fancy something a little bit different, why not take advantage of the wintry season (if you can beat em’, join em’!) and really impress your date. So grab your coat…and your mittens and check out our favourite 5 romantic winter dates.
1. Outdoor Ice Rink
Oh *OOPS* you fell over. It doesn’t matter if you can’t ice skate, in fact it’s probably better. If they’re nice, your date will help you up. Excuse the pun but it’s a great way to break the ice between you both!
2. Christmas Market
Does your nearest town or city have a Christmas market? Put on your warm winter coat, browse the stalls and get into the Christmas spirit. This can make for a fun and cheap(ish) date. This of course depends on whether you can drag yourself away from the chocolate fountain and how many mulled wines you guzzle! Yup, I’m talking from experience!
3. Comedy night
Comedy nights are great in any season but if you fancy getting out of the cold we would recommend heading down to your local comedy club. After all, laughter is the best medicine.
4. Country pub
Preferably one with good hearty pub grub. Even better if you can sit next to an open fire. This will make for a very cosy date indeed.
5. Catch an Afternoon Movie
Get down to your local independent cinema and choose from a wide range of films from old classics to quirky feel good films. These places have a great atmosphere with a small cosy feel to them. Perfect.
How Important is Body Language?
When on a date, it’s not just about being aware of what you’re saying – body language plays a huge part too. In fact, it’s the biggest tell tale sign if you’re feeling uncomfortable. From eye contact to the way you sit can all play a major part as to how you come across on your date.
I came across this great infographic on body language with some really interesting facts which helps us to understand just how important body language actually is. E.g. Raise your eyebrows all you like in the US but unless you want to cause offence – refrain from doing so in Japan!
Have a look, some really interesting stuff. Let us know what you think!
Modern Etiquette
Back in March, I wrote a little blog on E-flirting etiquette which looked at the way technology had changed the way we flirt.
Through the introduction of mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and online dating sites such as Plenty More Fish, a lot of people may be unsure about some aspects of dating etiquette. No longer is it nerdy or desperate to ask someone out online or by text. In fact, it’s become quite the norm. Cast your mind back to the days before Facebook, sites like ours or even mobile phones; certain protocols applied to dating. Well, these manners still apply. For example, it’s polite to let the other person know whether another date is on the cards soon after the first date. In the past you may have communicated this straight after the first get together with little/ no contact in-between. Now, due to smartphones, it’s highly likely for this to be communicated soon after via text or social network. However just like before, it’s important not to leave the other person “hanging’ too long. A recent study suggested that the average wait time for a follow up text or call was 1.52 days. After this, the date loses interest. So a prompt response is still needed.
It’s important for modern and old school dating etiquettes to co-exist. Just because you’re sat behind a phone or computer screen, it doesn’t mean you should abandon some of the older rituals of courtship. For example; you wouldn’t open a conversation with a stranger in a bar by saying ”wanna chat?” so why do it online? Quite frankly, I think you’d be lucky to receive a “no” as a response. The best way to start a conversation online would be similar to how you’d be expected to introduce yourself offline. Something a little more personal is needed such as; ” Hi, I noticed you’re profile and it seems we have quite a lot in common [talk specifics here]. If you like what you see, get in touch. Looking forward to hearing from you.”
Chances are, when you’re using a dating site like Plenty More Fish you’ll probably end up chatting to more than one potential date. You may even be dating more than one person at a time. This is very different to traditional courtship and a lot of people struggle to get their head around it. A while back, a friend of mine was feeling really guilty about dating more than one person at the same time after meeting them online. I don’t really see a problem with keeping your options open before a relationship gets serious. There’s so many fish in the sea it’s important to be sure before making the decision to let the other dates down. I think this is the biggest difference with meeting people online vs. offline – there’s a much bigger pond full of potential partners.
Technological changes have made it easier for us to find dates. The devices and platforms we use to communicate with them has changed but the way we communicate and the etiquette we use really hasn’t. It’s nothing we haven’t done before, just a different way of doing it.
Jen 
Member of the week
Meet Claire!
Claire is 29 and as well as being a mum she is training to be a teacher so understandably her “life is pretty busy.” She tells us that she doesn’t have the time to go out and meet people “hence why I find myself on here!”
Claire is a very outdoorsy kind of girl and loves to keep fit through walking, cycling and yoga. When she’s not being sporty she likes to chill out by reading books and watching films.
She describes her personality as being “quite shy at first but once I come out of my shell I’d like to think I’m very good company to be around and have a wicked sense of humour.”
Think Claire is the one for you? Send her a message on Plenty More Fish UK today by clicking on this link!
Spelling: First Impressions Count
Yes, your English teacher was right. Spelling IS important. It could be the difference between getting 1 date or 10 dates. I would even go so far as to say correct spelling and grammar on your Plenty More Fish profile is as important as uploading a quality photo of yourself.
Why? First impressions count.
With online dating, people will have very limited information to form an opinion on you. They have never met you in person so they will base their decision on whether they would like to find out more solely on your pictures and the information you have given about yourself. If this information is limited and/or the spelling is not up to scratch then they may just flick past your profile and who knows, you could’ve been perfect for each other!
So, our tips on getting your spelling and grammar tip-top? Simple.
1. Ask a close friend to proof read. You never know, they may be able to offer some extra help with the content too.
2. Write your “About you” section on Word first. The integrated spell-checker will underline anything spelt incorrectly. Make the changes then copy over to your profile.
5 Relationship Myths…Busted!
The many myths telling us what to expect when in a good relationship can be very destructive. They can create problems by forcing you to question whether you or your partner should be behaving differently. You could find yourself asking; “Why doesn’t he do this?”, “Why does she say this?” because apparently it’s the “done” thing. The thing is, everyone is different, every single relationship is different and all that matters is whether it works for the two people involved in the relationship. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks or how you’re “supposed” to be.
I have come up with 5 relationship myths and *shockingly* (perhaps not so shockingly…) disproved all of them.
- If you’ve got a good relationship you won’t have to work at it. All relationships have their ups and downs and even good relationships require effort. If everything was simple and straightforward you would soon find yourself becoming bored so putting work into your relationship is a good thing. However, if you are spending too much time tending to your relationship than enjoying it – you are probably working too hard in order to keep it afloat.
- You should know each other’s needs and feelings. Just because you’re together it doesn’t mean you should be able to read each others minds. This is essentially what you’re expecting if you want your partner to just “know” how you’re feeling. Communication is absolutely key and if you don’t talk about your needs and feelings then how are they supposed to know?
- Passion will never fade if you’re truly in love. We’ve got the movies to thank for this one. No matter how much you love someone, passion will generally fade with time. Daily routine is usually one of the culprits and unavoidable if your responsibilities grow because you will have less and less time and energy for each other. Don’t panic – It doesn’t mean that passion is lost! It just means you may need to take time to plan in order to make time for each other.
- Jealousy is just a reflection of how much you care. Wrong! Jealousy often reflects your own insecurities. If you feel jealous often then you really need to work on your self confidence. It is a problem you personally need to address as it can be extremely destructive to your relationship if not dealt with. Equally, you shouldn’t aim to make your partner jealous to see whether they care- for exactly the same reasons.
- Arguments ruin relationships. Not necessarily – it all depends on the type of argument and the temperament of the people involved (e.g. mild tempered..strong willed..etc.) Chances are you spend a lot of time with each other so you’ll feel comfortable enough to disagree with them. If something doesn’t sit well with you then why not air your problem? Keeping schtum could just lead to bigger problems in the future. Like I said before, communication is key. What actually ruins relationships is not resolving your arguments.
