How Important is Body Language?
When on a date, it’s not just about being aware of what you’re saying – body language plays a huge part too. In fact, it’s the biggest tell tale sign if you’re feeling uncomfortable. From eye contact to the way you sit can all play a major part as to how you come across on your date.
I came across this great infographic on body language with some really interesting facts which helps us to understand just how important body language actually is. E.g. Raise your eyebrows all you like in the US but unless you want to cause offence – refrain from doing so in Japan!
Have a look, some really interesting stuff. Let us know what you think!
Being Friends with the Ex Pt. 2
Last month I wrote a post on “Being Friends the Ex” where I decided that generally, staying friends with the ex wasn’t such a good idea. Well, staying friends with MY exes hasn’t always worked out for the best so I guess I am biased. Just because it didn’t work out too well for me, it doesn’t mean it can’t work well for others.
After writing the post, I have received lots of feedback from you ( and thank you!). It’s always really good to hear your views which, in this case were pretty different to my own. It seems many of you have remained great friends with exes so I thought I’d take the time to approach the topic from a different angle.
Let’s not kid ourselves, staying friends with an ex is not always easy. From your feedback it seems that the way to do it successfully is to be completely honest about your feelings for one another. If you still feel more for them then you need to decide whether this will affect your friendship. From your input it’s pretty clear that whatever happens, being “besties” straight away isn’t going to happen. Both of you will probably need time beforehand to come to terms with the split and deal with any unresolved feelings.
It seems many of you have managed to overcome this and remained friends. One reader made a really interesting point. He told me that after a long-term relationship and getting to know each other so well it’s a “shame to just throw it all away” and I would definitely have to agree with him. I think it’s so hard to just wave goodbye to the person you spent so much time with, knows you inside out and have so many memories with. It’s so final. If you can work things out after a split and have a stress free friendship for the both of you then, ideal. It’s just getting to this point that can be problematic. As one reader told me, staying friends “depends a lot on the circumstances of the split.” If someone cheats or treats the other badly then at some point in the future, the animosity may kick in ( if it hasn’t already) and just end up getting messy. However, if the split is amicable then friendship may come pretty naturally. One of our Twitter friends recently told me that she has remained great friends with her ex and that “he even baby sits my son which isn’t his and likewise me for his daughter!”
I think it can be tough but given time, if you really want it to work it is possible to salvage a friendship after a break-up providing both parties are honest and upfront with each other from the beginning.
Thoughts? Drop us a line below…
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Modern Etiquette
Back in March, I wrote a little blog on E-flirting etiquette which looked at the way technology had changed the way we flirt.
Through the introduction of mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter and online dating sites such as Plenty More Fish, a lot of people may be unsure about some aspects of dating etiquette. No longer is it nerdy or desperate to ask someone out online or by text. In fact, it’s become quite the norm. Cast your mind back to the days before Facebook, sites like ours or even mobile phones; certain protocols applied to dating. Well, these manners still apply. For example, it’s polite to let the other person know whether another date is on the cards soon after the first date. In the past you may have communicated this straight after the first get together with little/ no contact in-between. Now, due to smartphones, it’s highly likely for this to be communicated soon after via text or social network. However just like before, it’s important not to leave the other person “hanging’ too long. A recent study suggested that the average wait time for a follow up text or call was 1.52 days. After this, the date loses interest. So a prompt response is still needed.
It’s important for modern and old school dating etiquettes to co-exist. Just because you’re sat behind a phone or computer screen, it doesn’t mean you should abandon some of the older rituals of courtship. For example; you wouldn’t open a conversation with a stranger in a bar by saying ”wanna chat?” so why do it online? Quite frankly, I think you’d be lucky to receive a “no” as a response. The best way to start a conversation online would be similar to how you’d be expected to introduce yourself offline. Something a little more personal is needed such as; ” Hi, I noticed you’re profile and it seems we have quite a lot in common [talk specifics here]. If you like what you see, get in touch. Looking forward to hearing from you.”
Chances are, when you’re using a dating site like Plenty More Fish you’ll probably end up chatting to more than one potential date. You may even be dating more than one person at a time. This is very different to traditional courtship and a lot of people struggle to get their head around it. A while back, a friend of mine was feeling really guilty about dating more than one person at the same time after meeting them online. I don’t really see a problem with keeping your options open before a relationship gets serious. There’s so many fish in the sea it’s important to be sure before making the decision to let the other dates down. I think this is the biggest difference with meeting people online vs. offline – there’s a much bigger pond full of potential partners.
Technological changes have made it easier for us to find dates. The devices and platforms we use to communicate with them has changed but the way we communicate and the etiquette we use really hasn’t. It’s nothing we haven’t done before, just a different way of doing it.
Jen 
Being Friends With The Ex
Break ups are hard- everyone knows this. When a relationship comes to an end it’s often incomprehensible to think that that’s it. It’s just so final. You go from spending so much time together, perhaps even living together to nothing. A world without them seems unimaginable. Rather than cutting all communication, remaining friends sometimes seems like an appealing option.
But can it ever work?
I think it depends on whether the split was mutual. If you don’t see each other in “that” way anymore then fine, remaining friends shouldn’t be too strenuous and will come reasonably easy. Perhaps you were only supposed to be friends in the first place?!
However, for most it’s not that easy. Usually one person will end up liking the other a little more which makes the ”friendship” very stressful indeed. The huge change in dynamic means that hanging out together will be entirely different. Lunch won’t end with a kiss and hand holding won’t be complimenting the afternoon walk any more, making things hard and often, quite upsetting. Often, the best way to move on is to make a clean break. As hard as this may sound, if one of you still has feelings for the other it’s the kindest thing for you to do for the other person or even for yourself.
I also think remaining friends with your ex will be likely to cause problems in the long-run. Put yourself in the position of a future partner; would you be OK with them meeting up for coffee or lunch with their ex? How would it make you feel? Would you run the risk of putting your future relationships in jeopardy just because you want to remain pals with your ex?
My opinion is – it’s better to look to the future and not live in the past. After all, there’s plenty more fish in the sea!
What are you’re thoughts? Are any of you still good friends with your exes? Or, has staying friends with an ex caused problems?
Eagerly awaiting your opinions…Jen x
What makes a “real boyfriend?” Twitter tells all.
#arealboyfriend is currently top trend on Twitter and has been for sometime now. Yes, that’s right, “A Real Boyfriend”…instead of an imaginary one of course. Although *some* trends (including this one) can be a little immature, there were a few tweets which, I thought could be used to help define a good boyfriend. I’m going to replace the word “real” with “good” for the reason above!
Guys take note, here’s some top tips on how to be a real *ahem* good boyfriend.
- “
#arealboyfriend doesn’t cheat on his girlfriend. In fact, he doesn’t even get tempted to.” - “
#arealboyfriend is one of the most stupid top trends to exist” – ……..Probably due to the reason I mentioned above! - “
#arealboyfriend makes mistakes and learns from them.” - “
#arealboyfriend is someone you can trust.” - “
#arealboyfriend would pay his girlfriend compliments when she has made an effort to look nice.” - “there are a few about, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you get the prince.
#Arealboyfriend“ - “
#arealboyfriend makes time for his girlfriend.” - “
#arealboyfriend doesn’t try and make you jealous.”
- “
#arealboyfriend respects that you need time to spend with family and friends. It’s not just about him.
- “
#arealboyfriend Introduces you to his friends.”
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Romance In The Animal Kingdom
Sometimes, too much dating advice and information can become a little tedious. I feel like it’s time to post something a little fun. Everyone loves cute animal pictures, right? Well, hopefully.
I came across a some fascinating animal pictures and it looks to me like we could learn a few tips from our furry friends.
These pictures are bound to brighten a dreary Monday. Purrrfect! 
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Spelling: First Impressions Count
Yes, your English teacher was right. Spelling IS important. It could be the difference between getting 1 date or 10 dates. I would even go so far as to say correct spelling and grammar on your Plenty More Fish profile is as important as uploading a quality photo of yourself.
Why? First impressions count.
With online dating, people will have very limited information to form an opinion on you. They have never met you in person so they will base their decision on whether they would like to find out more solely on your pictures and the information you have given about yourself. If this information is limited and/or the spelling is not up to scratch then they may just flick past your profile and who knows, you could’ve been perfect for each other!
So, our tips on getting your spelling and grammar tip-top? Simple.
1. Ask a close friend to proof read. You never know, they may be able to offer some extra help with the content too.
2. Write your “About you” section on Word first. The integrated spell-checker will underline anything spelt incorrectly. Make the changes then copy over to your profile.
6 Easy Ways to Improve Your Chances…
We want to make sure our members make the most of their memberships, so we thought we’d offer a bit of help.
We understand how easy it is to lose track of what great features are available on Plenty More Fish UK, so here’s a quick reminder of what makes us the best dating site around…
1. Advanced Search
Be as specific as you want - search for your perfect partner using up to 20 different preferences including age, location, height, appearance, lifestyle, background, hobbies… the list goes on and on… and on!!!
2. Who’s Online
See who’s logged in at the same time as you and send them an Instant Message* to get chatting in the quickest time possible. With no need to wait around for a reply, you could even end up with an instant date.
3. Video Profiles
Introduce yourself to other Membersface-to-face by recording a short video clip about yourself*. It’s like having a profile and a photo all-in-one, and other Members will also be able to see that you’re 100% genuine.
4. Ice Breakers
Once you’ve found other Members who fit what you’re looking for, you can introduce yourself to them all in one go by sending your own personal Ice Breaker message to get the conversation started.
5. Inbox Tools
Choose whether to see all your incoming contacts in one place, or list Messages, Winks, Favouritesand Gifts separately. And don’t forget you can also filter out contacts from people you’re not interested in
6. And Much More…
There are lots more ways that Plenty More Fish UK can help you find who and what you’re looking for, such as Dating Diaries, Personality tests, Recommended Members and all sorts of e-mail notifications to let you know when you’ve caught someone’s attention.
Don’t Forget…
If you’ve got any questions our wonderful Customer Care team are available online and on the phone, right here in the UK, every weekday from 9am to 5:30pm, on 0800 987 5555.
10 Of The Best Marriage Proposals Caught On Camera
Tissues at the ready. We’ve been scouring the internet and have found (what we think may be) the 10 best marriage proposals caught on camera. Saying that, if you come across any you think should make the list please add in a comment below!
1. Unexpected Cinema Trailer Proposal
2. Fallen Head Over Heals!
3. Central Park Proposal
4. A Disneyland Proposal
5. A “Surprising” Marriage Proposal
6. Engagement on the set of Scrubs
7. Weatherman Proposal
8. Circus Performer Proposal
9. Rooftop Proposal
10. Old Spice Marriage Proposal
5 Relationship Myths…Busted!
The many myths telling us what to expect when in a good relationship can be very destructive. They can create problems by forcing you to question whether you or your partner should be behaving differently. You could find yourself asking; “Why doesn’t he do this?”, “Why does she say this?” because apparently it’s the “done” thing. The thing is, everyone is different, every single relationship is different and all that matters is whether it works for the two people involved in the relationship. It shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks or how you’re “supposed” to be.
I have come up with 5 relationship myths and *shockingly* (perhaps not so shockingly…) disproved all of them.
- If you’ve got a good relationship you won’t have to work at it. All relationships have their ups and downs and even good relationships require effort. If everything was simple and straightforward you would soon find yourself becoming bored so putting work into your relationship is a good thing. However, if you are spending too much time tending to your relationship than enjoying it – you are probably working too hard in order to keep it afloat.
- You should know each other’s needs and feelings. Just because you’re together it doesn’t mean you should be able to read each others minds. This is essentially what you’re expecting if you want your partner to just “know” how you’re feeling. Communication is absolutely key and if you don’t talk about your needs and feelings then how are they supposed to know?
- Passion will never fade if you’re truly in love. We’ve got the movies to thank for this one. No matter how much you love someone, passion will generally fade with time. Daily routine is usually one of the culprits and unavoidable if your responsibilities grow because you will have less and less time and energy for each other. Don’t panic – It doesn’t mean that passion is lost! It just means you may need to take time to plan in order to make time for each other.
- Jealousy is just a reflection of how much you care. Wrong! Jealousy often reflects your own insecurities. If you feel jealous often then you really need to work on your self confidence. It is a problem you personally need to address as it can be extremely destructive to your relationship if not dealt with. Equally, you shouldn’t aim to make your partner jealous to see whether they care- for exactly the same reasons.
- Arguments ruin relationships. Not necessarily – it all depends on the type of argument and the temperament of the people involved (e.g. mild tempered..strong willed..etc.) Chances are you spend a lot of time with each other so you’ll feel comfortable enough to disagree with them. If something doesn’t sit well with you then why not air your problem? Keeping schtum could just lead to bigger problems in the future. Like I said before, communication is key. What actually ruins relationships is not resolving your arguments.
