“At present Nigel and I live 80 miles apart but we see each other every weekend when he comes to me and I try to see him during the week to coincide with his day off. Although I have only been down to him a few times since we’ve been together he has never complained once but at the moment I am making arrange-ments to be with him more often. We have shared many trips, days out that we have thoroughly enjoyed and have plenty of pictures to look back on. We are enjoying each others company and miss each other a lot when apart so make the most of our time together. We have met each others families and all think we are a good match so I’d like to personally thank you guys for bringing us together. All I can say now is I hope that other people have the same luck as we did and that they find their matches.” Carolyne and Nigel
Long distance relationships can work as Carolyne and Nigel demonstrate. It takes commitment but that’s what relationships are all about, aren’t they? The PlentyMoreFish Team wish you both a very happy and long future together! x
You’ve gone through yet another breakup and you are wondering how you got there again? Perhaps it’s time to assess your past relationships and find out why they didn’t work out and what you can do to change that. If you look at these things honestly and learn from them, you can avoid more heartbreak in the future. Here’s how:
Re-tune Your Inner Voice
Your head may be full of repetitive and negative thoughts of past failures and it could be telling you you aren’t lovable. These feelings may stop you from truly connecting with another person, so it’s important to change this. Take note of how that inner voice is talking to you, then hit your favourite search engine for useful advice on how to re-tune your inner critic.
When you analyse your past relationships ask yourself why they didn’t work. Be honest and acknowledge your part in it. Are you too needy? Do you struggle to trust your partner? Your actions have consequences and when you start taking responsibility for them, you are raising your self awareness and become able to change limiting behaviours.
Be mindful of your body language
Our bodies mirror how we feel outside and considering only 7% of communication is verbal, this can be detrimental to how you come across to a potential partner. If you are desperate or shy, it will come across. You may want to read our recent blog post on confidence for some helpful advice.
Have your own life
Relationships are all about sharing a life together but if you have a tendency to sacrifice your own and become a clone of your new love by adopting all their likes, hobbies and even their circle of friends, it paints you as needy and insecure. You could be doing this because you want to please or because you are afraid they might reject you if you don’t devote yourself. But if you are looking for a lasting relationship, you need to give yourself permission to be your own person.
Do it differently
The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. If something hasn’t worked in the past, change it! Being stuck on old patterns is certainly easier but be aware that you may still be in the same situation a year from now if things don’t change. Do you really want that?
Decide who you want
Clearly define who you are looking for. If for example your perfect partner needs to love the outdoors, join a walking club. Start hanging out in places where you will find like-minded people.
It’s really about learning to love yourself first. The rest will take care of itself.
We hope you have found this advice useful. As ever please send us your thoughts.
We want to make sure our members make the most of their memberships, so we thought we’d offer a bit of help.
We understand how easy it is to lose track of what great features are available on Plenty More Fish, so here’s a quick reminder of what makes us the best dating site around…
1. Advanced Search
Be as specific as you want – search for your perfect partner using up to 20 different types of preferences including age, location, height, appearance, lifestyle, background, hobbies… the list goes on and on… and on!!!
2. Who’s Online
See who’s logged in at the same time as you and send them an Instant Message to get chatting in the quickest time possible. With no need to wait around for a reply, you could even end up with an instant date.
Introduce yourself to other Members face-to-face by recording a short video clip about yourself. It’s like having a profile and a photo all-in-one, and other members will also be able to see that you’re 100% genuine.
Once you’ve found other members who fit what you’re looking for, you can introduce yourself to them all in one go by sending your own personal Ice Breaker message to get the conversation started.
Choose whether to see all your incoming contacts in one place, or list Winks, Messages, Favourites and Gifts separately. And don’t forget you can also filter out contacts from people you’re not interested in.
There are lots more ways that Plenty More Fish can help you find who and what you’re looking for, such as Dating Diaries, Personality Tests, Recommended Members and all sorts of E-mail Notifications to let you know when you’ve caught someone’s attention.
If you’ve got any questions our wonderful Customer Care team are available online and on the phone, right here in the UK, every weekday from 9am to 5:30pm, on 0800 987 5555.
“Basically, it all started with a wink!!!! I saw James’s picture pop up and it went from there. I sent the wink, he replied, we exchanged a couple of light-hearted emails whereby we both realised we had the same sense of humour and a week or so later we met for dinner. I had met a number of guys prior to James but none of them had made me feel the ‘Wow’ feeling inside! However, within moments of meeting James, it was clear that I found the man I had been looking for!!! We had a fabulous evening together and arranged to meet again at the weekend. We went on an action packed date, riding Segways through the forest, and the following week we went to the racing at Goodwood. Things were clearly going really well and within three weeks we had booked a holiday to Santorini. That was the best thing we could have done, we had a fabulous time and are now looking forward to a happy future!!! Yay! Big thanks to Plentymorefish!!” Victoria & James
Messages like these make us so happy and also swell with pride knowing our site helped two people find love. We are bouncing with joy that Victoria and James have both found someone special and we wish the lovely couple all the best and a long and happy future together. x
Breakups, and divorces in particular, are hard to deal with. Finding yourself ‘back on the market’ can be scary and the thought of meeting new dates daunting. How do you know if the time is right and whether you are ready to start dating again? Read our tips to help you make the right decision:
Give yourself time to heal
Separation is an emotional process and can leave you feeling vulnerable, lonely and hurt. The fear of ending up lonely and the pain of loss can often pressure people to start dating too soon. Ask yourself if you are emotionally ready to commit to someone new. If the answer is no or you aren’t sure, give yourself more time and allow your heart to heal again.
Make yourself your number one priority
Life changing events such as divorce can be a catalyst for positive change. Spend some time reflecting on how you want your life to be. What did you always want to do? Where have you always wanted to go? Being single has many advantages, one of which is that you can do what you want. Focus on your own needs and do what makes you happy.
Who is your Mr/Ms Right?
Was your ex a total couch potato or hated travelling abroad? Perhaps you’d like someone who shares your love for animals? Perhaps someone who’s quite sporty? Now is your time to focus on the type of person you’d like to be with, then go out and find them. (psst – online dating sites are usually a good places to start)
Remember it’s not a competition
So, the ex has moved on and is going out with someone new. As tempting as may be to “keep up” by landing yourself a new boo, such competition is unhealthy and will lead you to pick someone who might not be a great choice. This in turn can intensify the resentment and tension between you and your ex. Be patient, love will find you.
Wait until you introduce them to the kids
You are floating on cloud nine and are sporting rose tinted glasses. New love it exciting and you want to share it with the whole world. If you have kids though, it’s best to leave it for a while. If children get attached to your new partner and things don’t turn out, it can be very hard for them to understand. Give your heart the freedom to love again but listen to your head and take things slow. Good things are worth the wait.
Dating is an exciting time and a new opportunity at finding your perfect partner. Our advice is to take it easy, have faith and most importantly have fun!
Remember this is always plenty more fish. ;-)
Happy fishing! xxx
“In terms of how we met, my picture/profile flashed up whilst Sue was browsing and she added me as a favourite which of course alerted my inbox. I contacted Sue to ask what I’d done to deserve such an honour of being one of her favourites? We exchanged some messages over a period of a few weeks and then arranged to meet up. We were very lucky in terms of how we met but I have to say your matching process in terms of the data base is what really did the trick because since the day we met we have both said we clearly were destined to meet as we are the soul mate both never had previously until your site brought us together. The picture is from a recent Ball we went to which was our first real public engagement…” Sue and Dave
Thank you Dave for sending us your story. It’s so sweet and we are very happy for you both. Long may it continue! xxx
Meet Brian and Bev who met in our Singles pond on Plenty More Fish. Brian sent us these lines on how they met:
“I had quiet a few ladies who viewed my profile but the one who caught my eye was Bev, we started with sending messages, then swapped phone numbers from there. We have met twice now both times we got on very well. This coming Friday she has invited me to her friends birthday party which I have accepted. We only live a short distance away from one another. The future looks bright but no wedding bells just yet. Once again thank you, great site.”
Don’t they make a lovely couple? We are very happy for you both and wish you a wonderful future together. x